Original subtitles

Hello, Ben Seaver's residence.

Carol, it's your stupid boyfriend.

Shut up, Ben. Just shut up.

Hang up the phone, Ben.

Ben, is your mom home yet?

Nope. I thought I heard her car.

That's Mike. He washed his car and he's driving it back and forth in the

driveway to air dry it.

Well, she better hurry up, or we're going to miss the start of that movie.

I don't get why you guys want to spend Friday night at a movie when you could

stay home with me on the best TV night of the week.

Well, it's like this, Ben. Every once in a while, your mom and I like to go out

alone together just to celebrate the fact that we have three great kids.

Sure, Dad.

Besides, Tuesday night is the best TV night.

And, oh, Ben, this is a new sitter tonight, so please be kind to her, okay?

I don't need a sitter.

We've been over that.

I just mean the guy taking out Carol Campbell, so she can watch me.

Well, I hope I can catch the sitter.

I'm on the phone, Peabree!

Hi, honey.

Hi, Ben.

TGIF! Oh, you said it. I just want to put my feet up and relax.

Mom, you forgot the movie.

What movie?

The one Dad's been looking forward to all week.

Well, it's okay, Ben. We'll have just as much fun staying home with you tonight.

And Carol.

What happened to her date with Bobby Wynette?

He's grounded.

I didn't do anything.

It's Carol's boyfriend. He got his third speeding ticket in six months.

All right, Bobby.

Um, you know, somebody should speak to the boy.

Talk about bad news.

Bobby's grounded. The date's canceled. You're bummed. We heard.

Excuse me. I have to go shower.

Big plans tonight?

No, just me and Eddie and Boner are going to go hang out.

You're going to shower for Eddie and Boner?

I don't know. Come on, Dad. I'm showering because I might get lucky.

Define get lucky.

Um... Well, you know, I might run into one of my teachers.

And I sure want to be clean for that.

That buck says he's going trolling for chicks.

beans and weenies.

And Carol, you get the macho meat beef.

And Jason, here's your, it sure tastes like chicken chicken.

Hello.

Yeah.

Mike! It's Eddie!

Take a message. I'm saving.

those two chin hairs can get kind of unruly, you know?

I'll tell him, Eddie.

It says what's keeping you. There's a thousand vices out there with your name

them.

Yes, I'll have a talk with him.

Thank you.

Ah, Dad, there's no need for you to have to have a talk with me. After the fine

job you and Dad have done teaching me the proper values, I don't think there's

going to be anything to worry about.

I mean, what can you do? Lock me in my room?

Hmm.

I'll get it.

Okay, so I'll see you guys at 1. And, you know, there's no need at all for you

guys to wait up for me.

So whose turn is it to wait up? Yours or mine?

So, like, hi.

Jason, you forgot to cancel the baby. I thought you did.

Trudy, I'm sorry. We changed our plans. I'll run you home.

Oh, wow. I'm not allowed.

Excuse me?

My mom and dad are out for the evening, and I'm not allowed to be home alone.

Put him in here. Let me get this straight. My sitter needs a sitter.

So what do you guys want to do?

Uh, we could try to bully your brains out. 99 cents special.

Again? What do you think of something?

The youth center's having a teenage mix and fish fry.

And you're having a breakdown.

Yeah, I got it, I got it. Look, we can go park outside a drive -in and lip

a movie.

It's good.

It's real good.

Come on, man. It's Swedish.

Roland Taylor.

Roland, man. How you doing?

I'm good.

Siever. Yeah.

Eddie Boner. How's it going?

Hey, how's college? Forget college. How's the co -ed dorm?

So, uh, what are you up to?

I'm just picking up some pizzas for a little get -together.

You? Oh, big stuff, big stuff. Yeah, we got some dates with them. We're just

women tonight.

So the night's working out for all of us.

It's good to see you guys.

Yeah, you too.

What's he got going? Eight large pizzas. That's $74 .55.

They keep the change.

Hey, Roland.

So about this little get -together tonight.

It's just your standard. Young girls, heated pool, no parents, let's get crazy

event. Yo, Rolando.

Let me give you a hand here.

Go on, help the man out.

Wait a minute.

Are you guys really so pathetic that you're practically begging to come to

party?

Yeah.

And the drinks are over there, and the women, what the heck, are everywhere.

Hey, Roland, uh, Roland, so who's out in this anyway?

Beats me.

Will you look at this place? Yeah, I'm looking, man.

Holy mackerel, Eddie. What? Over there by the piano. Is that Lana from Dewey?

Wait, Lana who?

Lana, my daddy gave me a Porsche for my birthday, Faraday.

Oh, wow, that could be. I've never been in the same room with Todd.

Oh, look, man. And there's Henry and Peter. Look, there's John Simpson.

Can you actually believe we're at the same party with these guys?

You're right. Come on, we should go.

No, no.

Come on, there's no reason why we cannot run with this hot ground, right? Yeah.

Just stay cool. Be loose.

Wow, we should go take a look at this mama.

We've been cool, bro. We're cool. Come on. This is a real classy bunch.

Excuse me.

Gentlemen, start your engines.

I gotta go to the John first.

Hey, hey.

Wait your turn, bozo.

Oh, sorry.

Did you guys notice

something? Rich people go to the bathroom in groups.

Don't embarrass us in front of these people, Bon.

Oh, excuse me. That chick wants me.

In real, huh?

She wants me.

Yeah, well, you guys discuss it, all right?

Uh, hi.

Hi.

Um, I'm sorry, but I just had to tell you that you look just like a movie

Really? Which one?

Which one? Well, you know, that real sexy movie star.

Rob Lowe?

Right.

No, no.

He's cute.

Yeah, well.

It's a look.

So, uh, would you like to go to the John with me?

No, no, no. No, it's okay. You go.

Oh, I'm sorry. You probably think that I'm after your spash.

Huh?

It's my treat.

Uh, you are cool, aren't you?

Um, cool.

Yeah.

Our turn.

Uh, listen, I gotta go to the bathroom.

Right. No, I don't mean the bathroom. I mean the bathroom.

Rhonda, your parents are on the phone a long distance.

Okay, um, don't go away.

Mike Seaver.

Right. Ah, yeah, Lana.

Lana, you have no idea how nice it is to see you.

Oh, nice to see you too.

Look, Lana, don't freak.

There is cocaine at this party.

Well, I should hope so.

You're funny.

Don't freak.

That's great. That's great.

Do you have any idea what kind of a party this is?

Oh, yeah. It's a great one. No, it's not, man. It's not.

Listen, there's cocaine at this party right there in that bathroom.

Yeah.

Wow.

So rich people don't necessarily go to the bathroom together after all.

Come on, guys. Now, we're not really interested in cocaine, are we? Wow. None

me. Y 'all, let's just get the hell out of here. But I am interested in Lana.

Oh, yeah.

She does cocaine, too, man.

I thought she was cool.

Well, Mike, you know, a lot of cool people use cocaine.

Come on, A, you got stuff for killing people.

It's not gonna hurt us if we use it just this one time with Lana and her female

friends. Yeah.

Look, guys, I'm sure that everybody who's been screwed up by that drug, they

felt the same way the first time.

Yeah.

And you're saying we're that wishy -washy?

Yeah!

Would you look at the man?

I rest my case. Come on, let's split. Mike, everyone's going to think we're

weenies if we go.

No, you won't, man.

Look, none of these people even know us. I mean, we can just slip out of here,

and who will know?

Hey, Seaver.

I found six more Dewey Hooters here tonight.

Hi, Mike. Hey, Seaver.

Hi.

Oh, good.

Fresh from the oven mock apple pie.

Can I mock apple?

Sure.

What did I miss?

The Colombian cartel has these news running a half ton of uncut snow in the

Miami pipeline.

We're talking the street value of 16 million big ones here.

Sounds low to me.

Well, I've got a great idea. Why don't we watch a Disney movie on tape?

Yeah.

How about Cinderella with all those cute little mice?

When we had mice last year, you didn't think they were so cute?

I think exactly what I'm eating.

It tastes like soggy crackers.

That's my dad.

Well, Trudy, it's been nice having you as our guest.

Guest?

Does that mean you're going to try to get out of paying me?

Jason? Oh, Jason, yeah, right, sure.

Here, Trudy.

Go. Thanks. Anytime you want me to babysit you guys, just let me know.

Now, this was my favorite movie when I was a little girl.

I was 10, if I knew half of what Ben knows now, I'd have been dangerous.

Honey, Ben is dangerous.

Hi, Mike.

Hi.

We're dead.

We're dead.

Everyone's going to think we're weenies. Not necessarily. I got an idea.

We don't have to say we don't want to try cocaine.

All we have to say is we have to be home before 10.

What's so funny?

I was just thinking how upset my mom and dad would be if they knew I was having

this party.

Oh, Beth?

Well, see, it's their Coke.

Now, where were we?

Um, uh, look.

I just wanted to say that I'm Eddie, and that's Boner up there. Hi.

Well, let's make this a group shoot.

Lana? Eddie.

Steve, Steve, you can be cool, you can be a wimp here, huh?

It'll look better once we visit the bathroom.

I don't mind if I do.

Oh, hot tubbing with Lana Faraday. I can't stand it.

Lucky I'm wearing my trunk.

I ran out of clean underwear.

Shall we?

Don't pull all this from us, Mike, huh?

Is that...

Look, I'm just not in the mood, okay?

Yeah, he's just, uh, he's trying to get all the heavy drugs out of his system.

Eddie, please.

Look, if you guys are going to have a discussion, could we use the john?

Wait a minute, okay?

Now, what's going on here?

Um... Look, I've never done coke before.

Oh, God.

For a second there, I thought you guys were narcs.

Especially the strange -looking ones.

Thank you.

Look, if it's your first time, we'll be gentle with you. Oh, first time?

First time.

Hey, I don't want to do coke, okay?

Come on, what's wrong with that?

Um, I'm going to go check on the hot tub.

I'll come with you.

Excuse us, boys.

Guys, I feel like a jerk. Let's get out of here.

You guys coming or what?

Oh, Mike, she's checking on the hot tub.

Eddie, can we go?

Let's put it to a vote, huh?

Look, we came together. We should leave together.

I thought you guys were my friends.

All right, you guys can stay or you can go, but I'm leaving.

I think I want to stay, Mike.

Bonner?

Mike, friends don't make friends do something they don't want to.

Exactly.

You know, I never thought she would wimp out like that.

What?

Confused, man.

We've been running with Mikey since the first grade. We know he's not a wimp.

He's cool.

So, are you in or are you out, boy?

Well, 2 .15 a .m., that's nice, Mike.

Dad.

Mike?

It is Mike, isn't it?

No, it couldn't be. My Mike was supposed to be home at 1 a .m.

Uh, Dad, I know I missed my curfew.

Oh, well, you admit you have one. That's progress.

He did it. Isn't tonight the time when we turn the clocks back to the time

change?

No, Mike, that's in October, which is when you're going to be grounded until

unless you give me a good explanation where you've been.

Okay. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Let me get comfortable here. You know how I

love these stories.

So where will it be tonight, Mike?

You were, oh, you saved some lives, I bet. Huh?

Wait, wait.

I bet you ran into those darn gypsies again.

Are you okay?

Dad, can I talk to you as a friend and not as a guy who could make my life

miserable?

What's wrong, Mike?

Dad, I gotta know that what I tell you won't be used against me.

Okay, what is it?

So I have your word that whatever I say, you're not gonna like it. Mike, just

say it, okay?

Okay.

Me? And Eddie and Boner.

We ended up at a party where everybody was doing cocaine.

Cocaine? Wait, remember, you're not my dad. You're a friend.

Cocaine?

Really?

Yeah, and if you didn't do it, you were a wimp.

Cocaine?

Dad, I've never felt so much pressure in my life.

And? Even from Boner and Eddie.

And? Dad, it was like I didn't even have a choice. And?

I didn't do it.

You didn't do it, as in you did not?

I didn't do the stupid drug.

Well, that's great, Mike. That's wonderful.

I always figured you'd make the right choice if you had to face that, but I'm

relieved, Mike. Dad, Dad, that's not it.

What?

Dad, I've been thinking about this since the party. I have been driving and

driving. Mike, Mike, you did the right thing.

Yeah, that's what kills me.

I don't understand.

Dad, I know I did the right thing.

It's just that I feel like everybody's going to laugh at me. You know, and some

of those people did laugh.

Mike, you're never going to be able to please everybody.

Yeah, well, tonight I didn't please anybody.

Except yourself.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What you did tonight took real courage, Mike.

I admire you.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

Good night, Dad.

Good night, Mike.

Thanks, Dad.

Eddie and Boner called for you.

What?

They said they didn't go to the bathroom and they don't want to.

Well, what do you know?

What does that mean?

A lot.

You know, a lot of people tell you that drugs are cool, and they're the same

people who are saying that everybody's doing something, so what's your problem?

Well, they're wrong.

Everybody's not doing drugs, and you don't have to try them to be cool.

Look, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, but I am telling you

that you don't have to do something you don't want to just to keep your friends

happy.

I mean, if that's the way that they feel, then maybe they're not your

And maybe they're not as cool as you thought they were.

And one last thing.

I'm not being paid to say this.

This is how I feel.

And if you think that makes me uncool, then you're wrong.