Original subtitles

Perfect. Hey, Ben!

Ben!

What? Okay, Ben, look, I need your help, okay? Here's what I want you to do.

Is this going to get me in trouble again?

Ben, I'm your older brother. No, I'd never get you into trouble.

Hi, guys. Hi, Mom.

Hey, Mom.

Who left the paper scattered all over the sofa?

He did.

What?

Don't worry, Mom. I'll clean it up, and then I'll explain to little Ben where he

went astray.

I'm sorry. I thought this was a fever home.

That's gonna cost you.

Yeah, all right, all right. Ben, look, if you help me out here tonight, I'll do

your homework for you.

You'll do my homework?

Mike, I can't afford it.

Okay, all right, look, I'll pay you. A hundred bucks. Two bucks.

Deal. What do you want me to do?

Okay, first, come here. Now, I want you to get Dad down here and have him sit on

the sofa right here, okay? And then ask him a question.

About what?

It doesn't matter anything. Just tell him you want to talk to him. Dad's a

pushover when one of us wants to open the channels of communication.

Then what?

I'll take it from there. Thanks.

watching Dr.

Ruth again.

All right, Ben, look. Hey, guys.

Oh, dinner smells great, Dad. I see you've been reading the paper. Anything

interesting? Well, actually... Oh, very interesting. Dad, did you know that

teenage drivers with driver's education have incredibly good safety records?

Oh, and Dad, would you believe what it says here? Car insurance rates for

teenage boys are at their lowest level in years.

Would you believe that, Ben?

I admit, guys.

car, 1972 V -Dub, rag top for a mere $27 .95.

But not smooth enough. Come on, Mike, we've been through all this before. Now,

we are not going to buy you a car.

You're going to have to prove that you're responsible enough to own a car

earning the money for it.

And since that means getting a job, it's conceivable you won't own a car in our

lifetime.

Hey, great news, Dad. I got a job. Yeah, I start working tomorrow afternoon at

the World of Burgers. Here's a parental consent form for my work permit.

Just right here.

information. They just happen to be deciding whether to let me take a job at

World of Burgers.

Somebody hired you!

Oh, fine, fine. Go ahead and laugh. But I just happen to know that Mom and Dad

have a great deal of faith in me. I have no faith whatsoever that he can handle

up a job at a school.

So we agree.

At the same time, we can't just give up on him.

You're going to say that for the first time in his life he wants to work for

something, so why don't we give him the chance?

Yes. And you think that getting this job could be a turning point for him.

Yes. I know.

And you think when you love your kids, it involves the risks.

Exactly.

Do I think anything else?

No, that about covers it.

Well, I think I know what you're going to say, too. You're going to say that

with this job, he's going to forget about school completely.

And then we've got a dropout with a car and a lot of time on his hands.

And then the first time he takes that car out, he's going to meet a 23 -year

-old woman.

And then he's going to quit his job because he has no time for burgers

You know what I mean? Because all he wants to do is drive, and he wants to

so fast because he's going to Lover's Lane.

Yeah, he's going to Lover's Lane so fast that car spins out of control and hits

another car. Boom!

And it's a beauty, but that's another story.

And even though nobody has heard, thank goodness, oh, Mike's still in trouble.

Whoa, he let his car insurance expire. No!

Next, look out. At the door, there she is, the 23 -year -old woman. Yes, that

one. And here she is now, heavy with child.

Yes, and she wants to marry Mike now. Now we got a kid with a kid and no job,

income, no insurance, and no future.

You read my mind.

Don't you think you're overreacting just a little?

See?

Okay, we both see. Both sides of the question.

So what do we do?

Well, we do what any sensitive, loving, caring parent would do.

And I call hits.

Yes!

You know, just picking up this glass.

It's probably banned.

We were just discussing your job.

Job? What job?

Oh, the World of Burdick. I just slipped my mind here. I've been studying so

hard.

Well,

Mike, we've been giving careful consideration to both sides of this

and after carefully considering it, we think that it would be taking a big

chance.

But we're going to sign those papers. Yeah, all right, thanks, and you guys

not regret this. Just make sure you're great. Hey, no problem, Dan. I promise I

will maintain a solid D average.

We were hoping for something more.

Oh, hey, whatever you want. D -plus. Great.

Jason, this nickel has two heads.

What's your point?

Now, uh, this is the beverage center.

We got large, extra large, colossal.

No, no.

This is Colosto.

This is Woe.

Excuse me, Mr. Krasner.

Not Terry.

I told you before, I like my employees to call me by my first name.

Okay, Scooter.

I think those Watson McCulloch things are clogged. Not the grease traps.

That's it. Oh, my gosh. Excuse me.

Hi. Hi.

Are you new here, too?

Yeah, it's my first day. It's my second.

One titanic burger, all the iceberg lettuce, one considerable fries, two

teas, one whoa, one colossal no ice, one patty meltdown with nuclear dressing.

I knew it was right about the mic. Look at him go.

A patty meltdown?

I'll bet $5 he messes up the change.

I'll take that action.

Nine and ten. Thank you, and as we say at WOD, don't get any on ya.

We just came to look.

Well, you gotta order something, Dad. Okay, I'll take a meal on a stick. No,

don't. No junk food.

We have a nice dinner ready at home. I don't want him loading up

on grease.

Double or nothing, he's out of here in ten minutes.

Mike, we've just never had an employee...

I've always been a sucker for a man in uniform.

You have?

Mike, we have a little surprise for you.

Oh, a little surprise.

Anyway, be sure you come straight home after work, okay? Okay.

Hi, I'm the manager. Is there a problem here?

No, none whatsoever.

I was down here for breakfast this morning, and this young man gave me such

incredible service. I just wanted to bring the whole family down to meet him

person.

So, kids, we'd better be going.

But... I want you to remember this day.

That's my fault. She was just getting back from a break and I was handling

registers while she was gone.

Mike?

I don't believe it. You're the employee of the month.

Yeah, look, I'm sorry. I have learned my lesson. My heart is just beating a mile

a minute here.

I just don't know what to say.

Look, Scooter, I'm sorry. It will not happen again.

I know.

What does that mean?

I'm sorry. My hands are tied.

You're fired.

Dad? Dad, something's happened today.

Surprise!

A little something for our employee of the month.

Mike, we are so proud of you.

Mike's still sitting there behind the wheel with his... mouth hanging open.

Has he stopped drooling yet?

Carol, if you stop making fun for one second, you might learn from your

brother's example.

I might learn from Mike.

Yes, his grades are up. He's doing very well on the job. And instead of wasting

his money on scritty -politty records, he saved almost all of it.

I have straight A's. I do all my chores around here, and I sooner kill than

spend a nickel on scritty -politty.

But you have always been a good kid.

That's my crime?

Well, Carol, all we're saying is that even a model child like you can learn

something from Mike's accomplishments.

So if I had spent my whole life as a total screw -up, and then did just one

thing right, I'd be given a car, too.

Wanted sales representative for international cosmetic firm.

We're looking for a young, aggressive self -starter interested in $6 ,000 a

month minimum and is fluent in Turkish.

Always a catch.

Take me to Disney World and step on it.

I'm going to step on you.

You don't look like a new responsible, Mike.

Who said that?

Dad did on the way home from World of Burgers when Mom was crying.

Crying? Like she did when Carol joined men. You know, life was a lot better

Mom and Dad thought I was garbage.

I think you're garbage, Mike.

Thanks.

Nice day.

Why not?

You want to know how much the car cost? No.

$2 ,605.

Ben. Plus tax license and dealer prep.

Look, if you say one more word about how proud they are of me, you're going to

have to leave.

faith in me, did I? Right?

Yes or no?

Uh, no.

That's right.

Good.

At least you know I'm gonna find a way to mess things up. What's their problem?

You messed up?

No.

Oh.

I mean, I'm not about to go in there and break your little heart. I can't do

something like that, can I, Ben?

Sure. No.

That's what I meant.

So now I have to do what I...

Look, Benedict, you want to save yourself a lot of grief. Don't let Mom

expect great things from you. Let them know your real disappointment now.

Oh, he's wearing it.

Oh, that is so sad.

Terry, I'm a psychiatrist.

Well, I'm the new assistant manager at World of Burgers, and I need his

Oh, well, Mike needs it.

For what?

For work.

That's great!

I felt so bad when he got fired.

Hold it.

Hold what?

Mike was fired?

Let Mike take that job.

Oh, Jason, I didn't want to be right about that.

Look at this. Look.

What do you see here?

A grease spot.

It's not just a grease spot.

This is a symbol of my gullibility. A $2 ,600 symbol of my gullibility.

Plus tax license and dealer prep, whatever the hell that is.

Oh, honey, I wouldn't call you gullible. Stupid.

I was going to say trusting.

Well, with Mike...

Honey, trusting Carol is easy.

And Ben's no problem because, well, he's smaller than us.

But trusting Mike is a real... There you go. You're back to stupidity again.

Well, I'm not trusting him anymore, Maggie.

Jason, I know we let us down, but maybe there's some... Oh, you know, he lied to

us for a solid week just so we wouldn't lose that car. And I'm really sick of

Mike thinking of nobody but himself first.

You know, Jason, maybe you shouldn't talk to him when you're this angry.

Absolutely.

But you will?

Absolutely.

Hey,

Dad.

Well, if it isn't my hard -working son and his well -deserved car.

Yeah, that's us, Dad.

You know, I'm really bushed today, Dad.

So how'd it go down to World of Burgers?

Looks like you got some on you.

Yeah, well, uh, let's tell you the truth, Dad.

Excuse me? The what?

Just tell you the truth.

Uh, I don't know. I'm getting a little bummed with Wad.

Oh, but you're the employee of the month.

Yeah, but, you know, there's a lot of pressure there, Dad. And, I don't know,

they're talking about making me an assistant manager.

And that'd mean I'd have to go to Berger College and, you know.

I just don't know if I'm university material.

So you're telling me that you're considering quitting this job?

Well, I've already got a better job lined up, Dad.

Yeah, it's in the automotive industry.

Ford?

General... Chrysler?

Bernie.

Bernie? Yeah, Bernie's car wash. I want to be a rag man, Dad.

Tips galore. Great future.

I can't do this.

I can't look you in the face and lie. What is this, some kind of magic power?

Mike, I have... Dad, I got fired.

Look, it wasn't even my fault, Dad. I mean, I was coming for this girl named

Terry who left her register drawer open.

I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, but... Dad, that was the day you gave me this

car. What was I supposed to say then?

Oh, yes, you didn't want to risk losing the car.

No, Dad, it wasn't because of the car.

I mean, it was, but...

you no experience. I mean, how can you be so proud of me?

It confused me.

Well, it confused me, too.

Don't you see, Dad? I mean, I just didn't want you to think I was some

couldn't be trusted with any responsibility.

Just when you started having faith in me.

Well, you gotta have a little faith in me, too.

Oh, come on, Dad. No. If you had somehow found out that I was fired... you'd be

out here pacing, telling Mom how stupid you were to trust me.

Well, possibly we might.

Don't you see?

Do you know how hard it's been for me to keep the truth from you?

So you lied to me for me?

Yeah, I just didn't want to let you down.

No matter what happened to me, it didn't matter.

Well, I appreciate that.

We've been waiting for you. Maggie, Mike just told me he lost his job at the

burger place last week.

Oh, he did?

I was shocked.

You were?

Jason, he's been lying to us for an entire week.

Yes.

Is that a great kid or what?

So there's a difference between doing the wrong thing for the wrong reason and

the wrong thing for the right reason.

Any questions?

No.

Well,

wait. I have a question.

Last month, I broke some of Mom's good china.

How come I didn't get a reward for it?

See, there are wrong... Wrong things and there are right things. Now, the wrong

things sometimes do right things.