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I'll tell you.
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Joan Collins revealed.
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We need the TV, Mike.
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Kids see him in the middle of a show
here.
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00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:19,280
Yeah, well, I've got a better show. Mom
took all the old home movies and put
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them on tape so we could see them.
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Why?
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Well, this ought to be fun.
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Hurry up, Ben.
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You're embarrassing me. What, you're not
excited about seeing yourself in
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diapers with drool running down your
chest? All right, come on.
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00:00:35,420 --> 00:00:37,600
Okay, you can just look in the mirror to
see that.
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Oh, Mike was such a cute little baby.
Yeah, all right, look, I have to go
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Okay.
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00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:45,600
What's the matter? There's a full moon?
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Look, I'm really sorry I'm going to miss
out on all this family fun.
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00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:54,880
Gee, I do really love it, too. You know,
when we pal around like this.
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00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,100
Mike,
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your mother has gone to a lot of trouble
putting these films on tape.
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00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:02,320
It's okay if he doesn't want to see
them. Oh, he does.
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00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:05,080
Dad, are you suggesting that I shouldn't
study?
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Yes, I am, Mike. I think you're spending
far too much time studying and too
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little time staring blankly at the TV.
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Dad!
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Let's go.
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Van, you just ate a full dinner.
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This isn't for me. This is for my
family, who I love.
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Here we go.
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Hey, who said the first type was me?
This is Mike.
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Oh.
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Gee, Mike, you sure look like...
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All right, and the least you can do is
to put off my humiliation until he's
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asleep. Well, this sure cuts into my
fun. How about you, Maggie?
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Yes, humiliating Mike was the one reason
I had these movies transferred.
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Yeah.
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But if he'll stop making snide comments,
then join in the fun by playing a
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little background music.
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Just so five years of piano lessons
don't go down the drain.
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00:02:02,630 --> 00:02:05,950
Yeah, all right, all right. Look, now I
know the family fun is going to kill me.
40
00:02:06,490 --> 00:02:08,470
This is my day.
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00:02:13,230 --> 00:02:16,470
She's a maniac, maniac, I know.
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And she's dancing like she's never
danced before.
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I'm not playing this while he's here.
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Can you guys be a little bit mature and
just let a tape play?
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What is this?
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Who is this?
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I bet you forgot we even had these.
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Hey, Dad, you never told us you had a
brother who was a geek?
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00:03:56,810 --> 00:03:57,810
movies on tape.
50
00:03:58,310 --> 00:04:01,070
It's okay if he doesn't want to see
them. It's okay.
51
00:04:01,430 --> 00:04:04,150
Oh, Maggie, I want to see my tape. Yes.
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Hey, I know. Let's watch my tape. No,
no. I'll be proud to show my tape. I'll
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thrilled to show my tape.
54
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Thank you, Mike.
55
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Is this the far -out group you led in
college?
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That's us.
57
00:04:38,380 --> 00:04:41,440
and Roll Talent Search. We were the
state finalists from Rhode Island.
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I still remember my dad's reaction when
you came to pick me up in that costume.
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00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,460
He said you looked like a Viet Cong.
60
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:57,280
Well, he wasn't young and hip like we
were. He was the same age you are now.
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No. Yes. Really?
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Really. No, he was pushing for... No.
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It's like you're not even here.
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Jason.
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Honey, I was talking to you.
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Sorry.
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00:06:42,410 --> 00:06:45,510
I think seeing yourself that young has
made you feel a little old.
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00:06:45,770 --> 00:06:51,910
Old? In fact, I would guess that you
were in that bathroom staring in the
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mirror, probably looking for gray hairs.
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00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:57,230
Well, you couldn't be more wrong.
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00:06:57,910 --> 00:07:00,680
I'm hardly the kind of guy who... was
looking for gray hairs.
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00:07:02,940 --> 00:07:06,600
I'm sorry. You're right. That's
ridiculous. Of course you weren't
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00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:07,519
gray hairs.
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I'm a young man.
75
00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:10,040
Okay, okay. I'm sorry.
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00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,820
You've never been so sensitive about
your age before.
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And I'm not now either.
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00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:19,240
Even though, as you point out, I am the
same age as your parents were when we
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met, which is not even true because your
dad was six months older.
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00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:27,420
Bye, Mom.
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00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:28,680
Ben, where are you going?
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00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:36,530
Glad you told your father that you were
going to Stinky's.
83
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,750
But your father doesn't know that I
wanted you to clean your room this
84
00:07:40,310 --> 00:07:44,050
But, Mom, I promised Stinky he could see
the tape of Dad looking funny.
85
00:07:45,310 --> 00:07:47,150
No, absolutely not.
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00:07:47,810 --> 00:07:51,470
Then I don't get to see the pictures of
Stinky's mom before she got fat.
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00:07:53,410 --> 00:07:55,790
Ben, go to your room and don't come out
until it's clean.
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00:07:58,070 --> 00:08:00,250
Okay, I'll see you later, Mom. I'm going
to go over to the schoolyard and shoot
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00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:01,250
some hoops, okay? Okay.
90
00:08:01,870 --> 00:08:03,380
Hoops? Mike, wait.
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00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:07,120
No, my room's already clean, Mom. No.
No, my clean clothes are in the drawer,
92
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,540
dirty clothes are in the hand. Mike,
that's not what I want to talk about.
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00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:12,940
You mean I did all that for nothing?
94
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,560
Mike, I want to ask you a favor.
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00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:22,560
What? Well, you see, after watching all
those old movies last night, well, your
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00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,480
father started feeling old.
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00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:26,720
Well, he is.
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00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,800
No, I mean old as in out of it, over the
hill.
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00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,380
Yeah.
100
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:37,020
Michael, please. I want you to help me
make your father feel a little younger.
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00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,340
Is that so hard for you to understand?
102
00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:43,480
Now, Mom, how can he feel old when he's
married to a young fox like you?
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00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:53,440
Michael, would you please play a little
basketball with your dad and... Throw
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the game?
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00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:57,300
Well... Take a dive. Yeah. And don't let
him know about it. Right.
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Hey, no problem.
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00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,200
I'm an old -handed phone dad.
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00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,320
Oh, Dad.
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Such a nice boy.
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Such a foxy young mother.
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00:09:19,540 --> 00:09:21,800
Hey, nice job, Dad.
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What can I say? I'm good.
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chance be letting me win, would you?
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Letting you win?
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00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,300
Are you kidding? Why would I want to do
that?
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00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,620
Well, for one thing, your mom doesn't
like to admit when she's wrong.
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00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,020
Mom? Uh -huh.
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00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:50,060
And why would she think that you feel
old?
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00:09:50,420 --> 00:09:53,060
I mean, she doesn't think you're old.
I'm warning you, Mike.
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00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,420
Don't start patronizing your father,
okay?
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Because I can still keep up with you,
you know.
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Uh -huh.
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00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:02,340
Yes. Yeah, right, Dad.
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00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,020
Oh, really? Come on, take your best
shot.
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00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,000
Come on, we'll see who's stuck and win
at the end. this one, okay?
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00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:09,479
All right.
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00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:10,219
Come on.
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00:10:10,220 --> 00:10:12,920
None of that hot dog stuff either.
That's what we were just doing. Real
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00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:13,779
real game.
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00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,440
Unless you're afraid to be humiliated,
I'll understand.
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00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,660
You gonna try it for the girls' team
this year, huh?
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00:10:18,980 --> 00:10:20,820
No, all right. Come on.
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00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:38,480
the top of the hook system.
134
00:10:38,940 --> 00:10:43,480
Come on, Dan. Only 25 more points and
you're right back in it.
135
00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:47,020
Come on, Van Gage. See, the man's tired.
136
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:48,500
Oh.
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00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,640
What's the matter? Are you afraid I'm
going to catch up?
138
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,360
I'm just getting my second win.
139
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:10,160
Hey, Dad, you all right? I slipped on
something right there.
140
00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:12,940
Oh.
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00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,860
What is it? I turned my ankle.
142
00:11:15,660 --> 00:11:19,980
Look, I knew we played too long. No
parents never listen. I'm fine, all
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00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,940
Just give me a minute. I'll walk it off.
144
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,720
Hey, look, Dad, I'm really bushed. I
couldn't play another second, all right?
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00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,840
Okay. All right, great. I'm going to go
over to the schoolyard and get in the
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00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:32,840
game, all right? See you later.
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00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:36,760
I think you're a radical player.
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00:11:37,060 --> 00:11:40,060
Yeah, well, I know how to play.
Especially for a guy your age.
149
00:11:43,860 --> 00:11:44,860
Don't worry, Dad.
150
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,260
I'll take care of you.
151
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:04,380
Hey, Ben, what are you doing?
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00:12:07,370 --> 00:12:10,410
We're supposed to have that out of the
house by now. What do you want from me?
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00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,170
The man had to go to the bathroom.
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00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:15,830
Ben, where's your dad?
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00:12:16,190 --> 00:12:17,490
In the bathroom, I hope.
156
00:12:21,690 --> 00:12:23,370
So, what do you think, Ben?
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00:12:25,150 --> 00:12:27,690
I think this is going to make him even
more depressed.
158
00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:33,010
Oh, no, Ben. Once he starts playing rock
and roll, he's going to feel like this
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00:12:33,010 --> 00:12:34,730
again. That's good.
160
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:37,419
You bet.
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00:12:37,420 --> 00:12:40,480
Okay, now where do you want to stash
this thing to the party? In the kitchen.
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00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,000
I'll have your father go out the front
door. Okay.
163
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:45,700
I'll get it!
164
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,760
I'm Dave Sachs from Party Animal Party
Rentals.
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00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:54,840
You're early.
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00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:56,020
That's our policy.
167
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:57,960
No. Yes, it is.
168
00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:02,420
No, it's supposed to be a surprise for
my dad. My dad is still here.
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00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,040
Bummer.
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00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:05,540
Let's go, Ben.
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00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:11,080
Well, maybe. I could... Come on, Ben.
This was your idea to go to the zoo.
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00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:15,360
go. This is going to be great. I want to
spend the whole day at the snake house.
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00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:16,840
Anybody else want to come?
174
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,320
No, I've got things to do.
175
00:13:19,740 --> 00:13:24,420
Carol. Oh, no, darn it. You know how I
love to see gods, creatures, and cages,
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00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,520
but I have to study.
177
00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:29,420
Let's roll.
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00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,480
Um, no.
179
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,460
You have to go through the kitchen.
180
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,720
No. Carol, the kitchen floor is wet.
181
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,660
Well, so is the port, Carol.
182
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:39,500
Well,
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00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,840
apparently there's no way out, Ben. I
guess we'll have to stay here.
184
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,300
What's going on here?
185
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:18,450
What's what, Dad?
186
00:14:18,530 --> 00:14:19,890
What's the mess you're making?
187
00:14:21,790 --> 00:14:27,130
This mess, as you call it, just happens
to be my project for art class.
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00:14:27,430 --> 00:14:30,430
I call it, hold the onions or I'll kill
you.
189
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:33,410
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
190
00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:37,790
Seaver, you're good.
191
00:14:38,810 --> 00:14:40,310
And the kid can paint.
192
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:45,270
Hello, test one, two, three. Louder,
Carol.
193
00:14:56,810 --> 00:14:59,190
Can you hold it down? We still have a
lot to do. All right, Mom.
194
00:14:59,610 --> 00:15:00,610
Drop, drop, drop.
195
00:15:02,350 --> 00:15:04,410
Well, we have less than an hour left. Is
everything ready?
196
00:15:07,390 --> 00:15:08,390
Wallop.
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00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:11,690
Ladies and gentlemen, Madonna!
198
00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:15,090
Carol, not you too.
199
00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:17,890
Yeah, I don't know, Mom. If this doesn't
cheer Dad up, I think you ought to
200
00:15:17,890 --> 00:15:18,890
divorce him.
201
00:15:19,350 --> 00:15:20,630
Of course it'll work.
202
00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:23,670
He'll be seeing his old friends, his old
band. It'll give him a whole new
203
00:15:23,670 --> 00:15:24,670
outlook.
204
00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:29,170
I'll get it. Uh, Carol, would you and
Mike put up some more balloons?
205
00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:30,390
Okay.
206
00:15:32,530 --> 00:15:33,830
Hooray! Maggie!
207
00:15:34,190 --> 00:15:35,730
How are you?
208
00:15:36,890 --> 00:15:38,230
Wild and hot!
209
00:15:39,710 --> 00:15:42,270
You look sensational.
210
00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:44,810
You haven't changed a bit.
211
00:15:45,510 --> 00:15:46,510
Well,
212
00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:48,370
maybe just a little bit, huh?
213
00:15:49,710 --> 00:15:50,870
Oh, wow.
214
00:15:51,410 --> 00:15:55,410
Oh, the wild... Hot's never played in a
place this classy before.
215
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:59,470
Kids, this is Rick. Rick, this is Carol
and Mike.
216
00:15:59,770 --> 00:16:00,830
Hi. Oh,
217
00:16:02,030 --> 00:16:04,150
by
218
00:16:04,150 --> 00:16:11,390
the
219
00:16:11,390 --> 00:16:14,350
way, Maggie, the Wild Hots are going to
sound a little thin tonight.
220
00:16:14,630 --> 00:16:15,830
We don't have a keyboard man.
221
00:16:16,190 --> 00:16:17,430
No, Warren said he'd be here.
222
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,510
Well, he's had a little coronary.
223
00:16:23,060 --> 00:16:26,560
It's nothing serious. He'll be up and
around in a week or so. Wait a minute.
224
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:28,380
Wait a minute. Mike can fill in on
keyboard.
225
00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:32,300
Hey, Mom, I don't know any of those old
stupid fogies.
226
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,640
Classic.
227
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:39,020
If you know five chords, then you know
two more than we do.
228
00:17:22,349 --> 00:17:24,970
through with this, there's a good chance
Dad's going to try to drown himself.
229
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:27,010
No, I don't think it's counted that bad.
230
00:17:27,650 --> 00:17:29,670
Maggie, give me an answer.
231
00:17:33,850 --> 00:17:35,090
I rest my case.
232
00:17:36,410 --> 00:17:39,950
Okay, okay, Mike, you're right, but what
am I supposed to do? I can't just throw
233
00:17:39,950 --> 00:17:40,950
all these people out.
234
00:17:41,110 --> 00:17:42,770
All right, all right, Mona, we can
handle this.
235
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:45,670
I've got the kitchen on fire.
236
00:17:47,590 --> 00:17:49,210
No, I like the kitchen.
237
00:17:49,450 --> 00:17:50,450
All right, all right.
238
00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:53,700
I want Deb's office. Oh, no, look, look,
I'll handle this, okay?
239
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:57,900
Rick?
240
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:00,880
Rick?
241
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:06,340
Hey! Excuse me, everyone.
242
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:11,880
We've had a slight change of plans, and
I just learned that Jason has been
243
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,880
called into the hospital on an emergency
in another state.
244
00:18:18,260 --> 00:18:20,080
I know.
245
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:26,240
I know I'm as disappointed as you are,
but he won't be back for days.
246
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:27,740
Surprise!
247
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:31,680
What's with you people?
248
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,820
What is this?
249
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:38,640
Look at... Maggie, is this... Oh, boy,
it's been years.
250
00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:39,980
How are you?
251
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:42,440
Maggie, what's the occasion here?
252
00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:46,920
Ladies and gentlemen, the founder of the
Wild Hots, Jeremy...
253
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:57,290
I think it's going well. Do you think
it's going well? I think it's going
254
00:18:58,410 --> 00:18:59,510
Oh, this is great.
255
00:19:00,010 --> 00:19:01,010
Where's Warren?
256
00:19:01,070 --> 00:19:04,070
Oh, he had a... He had a heart attack.
257
00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:06,529
A what?
258
00:19:06,530 --> 00:19:07,530
He'll be fine.
259
00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:10,010
He's 38 years old.
260
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,690
Yeah, well, I guess he's finally learned
he can't keep up with the youngsters.
261
00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:15,690
Excuse me, Jason. Can I talk to you for
a minute?
262
00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:17,750
Better make it quick.
263
00:19:30,190 --> 00:19:31,910
Imagine that, a heart attack at 38.
264
00:19:32,530 --> 00:19:35,410
Oh, honey, I had no idea when I planned
this.
265
00:19:37,270 --> 00:19:38,890
What about Rick's chrome dome?
266
00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:41,550
A lot of men lose their hair early.
267
00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:45,010
Yeah, if they handle nuclear waste in
their shorts.
268
00:19:46,470 --> 00:19:49,690
Honey, the last thing I wanted to do
with this party was depress you. No, I'm
269
00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,410
not depressed. Oh, you are, too. No, I'm
not.
270
00:19:51,710 --> 00:19:53,810
Seeing how these guys look now even
depresses me.
271
00:19:55,830 --> 00:19:58,090
Well, they do have a few miles on them,
don't they?
272
00:19:58,470 --> 00:19:59,470
A few miles?
273
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:01,860
the entire interstate highway system.
274
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:04,880
And at the same age I am.
275
00:20:05,420 --> 00:20:08,340
Oh, honey, compared to them, you look
like Ricky Schroeder.
276
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:11,700
Yes, yes, I do.
277
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,220
Younger than Ricky Schroeder.
278
00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:18,120
And I'm the same age as these guys.
279
00:20:18,580 --> 00:20:19,820
Not that that matters.
280
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:28,120
Jason, I've been trying for two weeks to
tell you that you weren't home. Would I
281
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:29,120
listen? No.
282
00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:33,690
Hey, dude, we knocked the rust off the
edges and we're really cooking. We need
283
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:34,690
the jammer.
284
00:20:36,590 --> 00:20:39,310
This song's for you. It's going to make
you wild and hot.
285
00:20:41,870 --> 00:20:43,570
One, two, three, four.
286
00:20:43,970 --> 00:20:44,970
Just take those.
287
00:22:30,730 --> 00:22:36,590
If I gave my heart to you,
288
00:22:36,890 --> 00:22:42,990
I must be sure from the very
289
00:22:42,990 --> 00:22:49,970
start that you would love
290
00:22:49,970 --> 00:22:53,550
me. Jason, how long are you going to
play your guitar?
291
00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:55,610
Just a few more minutes, I promise.
292
00:22:56,470 --> 00:22:58,170
If I trusted...
293
00:23:05,870 --> 00:23:07,730
Maggie, I can't play in the dark.
294
00:23:08,210 --> 00:23:09,230
Well, I can.
22804
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