All language subtitles for growing_pains_s01e14_first_blood

Show me that smile again.

Don't waste another minute on your
crying.

We're nowhere near the end.

The wind that is ready to begin.

Look, Jennifer, it's not that I don't
want to go with you Saturday. It's just

that I've got this prior commitment.

Uh, I'm donating a kidney.

Uh, look, but don't tell anybody.

Well, because then everybody will want
one.

Look, if the deal falls through, I'll
let you know.

Okay. All right, bye -bye.

You turned down a date with Jennifer
Miller?

Jennifer Wonderbuns Miller?

My attraction to women is not entirely
based on physical beauty.

Yeah, they gotta be stupid, too.

Mike, I thought you liked Jennifer.

Yeah, but she wants me to do something
I'd never do in a million years.

What? Read a book?

No, worse.

She wants me to go to her sister's
wedding and go ballroom dancing.

As God is our witness, I can't make our
baby do this.

Okay, fine, fine. You guys go ahead and
laugh, but Michael Seaver's not going to

make a fool of himself in front of 200
people.

Yeah, you're used to a much bigger
crowd.

Mike, there are advantages to ballroom
dancing. You know, you actually get to

touch your partner hand to hand, cheek
to cheek, everything else to everything

else. Oh, jeez.

And if you're a real cool guy, then you
learn all the moves, Mike.

Well, the right guy and the right moves
can absolutely make the right woman...

melt.

There are more moves, but they require a
motel room.

No, not so.

Observe... the French dip.

There are more moves, but they require a
grave.

Yeah, Jennifer, Mike.

Look, the deal fell through.

I don't know. Apparently there's a real
glut on the world kidney market.

Yeah, so, um, we're on for the wedding.

Yeah, and I'll bring the gravy.

Never mind. It's a dancing tour.

Yeah, okay.

Bye -bye.

All right, Mike.

All right, Dad.

You know, I'm going to make her melt. I
have never seen Wonder Buns melt before.

Wait a minute. I don't even know how to
dance.

Oh, that's all right. No problem. Come
on over here. Give it a try.

Not with me.

What's she trying to do? Is she trying
to glide?

That's it. I've had it. Man can only
take so much.

Something wrong, Ben?

The new coach and the stupid son of
Rodney. The kid tripped me three times

with the stick.

practice, that kid is going to be
sucking the pot.

Now, I don't want to hear that, Ben. If
you have a problem with one of your

teammates, fighting is not the answer.

Ben, what are you doing?

Pumping milk.

Hey, work for Schwarzenegger.

Now, wait a minute. Did you try telling
the coach that Rodney tripped you?

The coach saw the whole thing.

Now, come on. You mean to tell me that
the coach actually told Rodney to play

dirty? He tells all the kids to play
dirty.

That's why he hates me.

It's common knowledge. I'm a finesse
player.

Well, that's it, Ben.

I was afraid this hockey thing was going
to be too rough.

Jason, I think you should quit the team.

No, Maggie, that's not fair to Ben. Just
because the coach is out of line, you

can't make him quit.

I'll go down to the next practice, I'll
meet the guy, and we'll talk it all

over. If that's okay with you, Ben.

Yeah, thank you.

and while you keep the coach busy
talking, I'll go and skate over Rodney's

Come on, girls.

This is hockey, not a square dance.

I want to see some contact out there.

Remember, just because you're wearing
skates doesn't mean you can't kick.

I'm Jason Siebert. Coach Brockton. How
are you? That's my boy Ben out there,

number seven.

Yeah, he could use another 40 pounds.

Well, no problem. I'll get him started
on steroids right away. Good.

I like to see the parents get involved.

Kelly! Kelly!

You should have passed off. That's going
to cost you. Sure. Make him skate a few

extra laps after practice, huh?

Do you have change for five, coach?

What are you talking about, change? You
missed the open man. That is fine.

Take a lap.

You're finding these kids?

Hey, that is not a first -time offender.

Too bad they outlawed the death penalty.

Yeah.

Carmelo, you call that a check? My wife
hit harder on our honeymoon.

Could you marry Wayne Gretzky?

You're calling me a homosexual?

Oh, but I do think your coaching methods
are a little offensive.

Hey, I never had a losing season, buddy.

Well, congratulations, buddy.

But I think what's important for these
kids is they learn something. They have

little fun.

Not win, win, win at all costs.

That's how we lost Vietnam.

You're a wimp, Siva. Oh, really?

Well, you know what you are.

Yeah? You're taking a lot of sublimated
anger and you're displacing it on these

kids.

You sound like you've been to one of
them wussy shrinks.

I am one of them wussy shrinks.

I mean, I'm a psychiatrist.

And just because you're a little self
-absorbed and narrow -minded... Hey, who

are you calling self -absorbent? You
better be ready to back that up, pal.

your hands off me, okay?

Hey, I'm down.

Ben, that's not the way mature people
deal with... I'm mature enough.

One,

two, three, right. One, two, three.

Mike, that's the fifth time in the last
half hour.

Hey, I'm getting better.

Good. Then let's call it a night. I've
got an article to finish.

Come on, Mom. The wedding's tomorrow
night. I need to practice.

Honey, you're doing fine.

Besides, I've got to change the bandages
on my feet.

Come on. I barely broke the skin.

You know,

and wonder, what's more beautiful?

The glimmering stars on a clear night or
this face?

I get it. I'm not dancing with you.

Come on, Carol. I'm not going to step on
your feet.

You stepped all over Mom's.

Carol, the woman has huge feet.

And just between you and me, Mom can't
dance.

You're such a jerk.

You're right. I am.

No, no, no, no. Really, I am.

And that's why I'm so incredibly
fortunate to have a sister who's not

sister, but, well, a saint.

That's why I think I'll call you Saint
Sister Carol.

No, no.

Sister Saint Carol. No, I got it.

Carol Saint Sister. Because after all,
Carol, you are... Oh, right, right.

I'd rather lose a foot than listen to
this.

Glide two, three.

Glide two, three. Glide two, three. Hey,
this is sort of neat.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Carol, what are you
doing?

Dancing. Carol, this is not interpretive
dancing.

This is ballroom dancing. The man is
supposed to lead.

The woman is supposed to be limp, okay?

Whatever you say.

Okay, let's try it again.

And glide two, three. Oh, come on,
Carol. This isn't limp. That's...

It's dead.

Just following your lead.

Try it again.

Glide to... Hey, Mike, you're doing
better.

Glide...

Well, I guess you could say Coach
Brockton and I had a brief but

exchange of ideas.

And fists.

Dad whooped him good.

All right, Dad.

Jason, you mean you actually got in a
fight with the coach?

Well, he took a swing at me, Maggie. I
had to defend myself.

Well, I better get some eyes for that
eye.

Mike, you should have seen it. Fell,
bang, boom.

Brockton never had a chance.

And we're here at ringside with Jason.

The animal's fever. And along with us at
ringside is the animal's manager,

Benjamin Bugsy -Sever. Tell us, Bugsy,
how did you get the chance blood

for today's ballot?

I showed him his oldest son's report
card.

Well, animal, what's next?

Well, I want Holmes, and then I want
Norton, and then I want... And then I'm

going to retire to pursue psychiatry
full -time.

Jason, you're going to make the kids
think fighting is a good thing.

You're right.

I'll talk to them.

Boys, what I did today was
reprehensible.

Fighting is not the best way to solve
your problems.

I want that to be clear.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I just don't think I should have to
spend another 24 hours making excuses

what... Happened yesterday.

You can't, because there is no excuse.

You fought like a barbarian, and then
you gloated like a child.

You're a baby barbarian.

Oh, I see. So you're saying by that one
incident, I'm turning our son into

another Rambo?

Hi, honey, I'm home.

Oh, my God.

Come on, Ben.

Sit down. Tell us exactly what happened.

Right. I was sitting in the cafeteria
eating my Salisbury steak, mashed

potatoes, and something that looked like
either broccoli or astroturf.

Ben, the fight.

Yeah, that's when Rodney Brockton walked
over and pulled me out of my chair.

Rodney Brockton.

Yeah, I said, Rodney, I don't know what
makes me sicker, you or...

would have done.

I gave him a knuckle sandwich.

Well, Animal, are you proud of yourself?

No, Maggie, I'm not proud.

Ben, uh, is Rodney okay?

Yeah, Miss Finkel came and broke it up.

But tomorrow at high noon we meet under
the monkey bars and only one of us makes

it to the fourth grade.

Well, I've had enough of it.

I'm going down to talk to Brockton
myself.

No, no, Maggie, I started this whole
thing, so I guess it's time that I

Ben how a real man fights his battles.

All right, Dad!

Come on, Ben.

Now, let's say you're mixing it up in
the corner. The ref isn't looking.

What do you do?

Rodney, demonstrate.

Okay, Dad.

Perfect. Now, in a game, you make sure
you follow that up with a punch, huh?

Excuse me, coach, but isn't this
illegal?

This is hockey, kid. You want legal? Go
to law school.

Okay,

so who makes the first move? I do. You
just follow my lead. Gotcha.

Dad, look who's here.

What are you doing here, Siva? Your kid
was cut from the team.

Well, Coach, I'd like to talk to you. I
know I said some pretty insulting things

the other day, and today there's
something else I'd like to say.

Might I suggest drop dead chicken lips?

Ben, let me handle this.

Mr. Brockton, I'm sorry.

I came to apologize.

No way, Thiever. I owe you one.

Come on.

Come on.

Look, I didn't come here to fight.

I didn't mean to say or do anything to
offend you. You said I was married to

Wayne Gretzky. Now, I'm not going to
take that thing.

I didn't mean to say seriously that you
were married to Wayne Gretzky. Oh, so

you're saying we lived in sin? I didn't
mean to imply that you had any

relationship whatsoever. Oh, I get it.
So now Wayne is too good for me, huh?

I'm not talking about... Look, if you're
just... Look, if you just want another

excuse to fight... I don't need any
excuses. Come on.

How come you're... isn't rolling up his
sleeves. Once he starts flexing all his

muscles, his shirt pops off by itself.

It's rematch time, Siva. Now, you want
me to start it? I'll start it. Okay, you

want to hit me? Go ahead. Fine, hit me.
I'm not worried about me. I'm not

worried about you. It's these kids.

If we can't teach our children that
fighting is not the answer, then we have

failed.

As parents and as human beings.

So come on, you can hit me.

Or you can shake my hand.

Choice is yours.

Siva.

Nell built him down.

Yeah, that's right, wuss. Come on, show
the kid what you really made out of him.

Come on, Ben, we're going home.

What?

Move on. Jennifer's going to be here in
ten minutes.

Oh, my God. I still have to shower.

And shave.

Gee, it's another month already?

And glide two, three. Glide two, three.
Glide two, three. Glide two, three.

Oh, my God. I've got to sit.

And what happened?

Well, Coach Brockton called me a wimp,
and then he punched me as hard as he

could in the stomach.

Now comes the rough part of the evening.

Ben, Ben, milk is not the answer.

I can't believe you chickened out today.

Now, hold on right there.

A lot of kids would get spanked for
that.

Oh, sure. Hit me.

Okay. Hey, I was just trying to make a
point. Yeah.

So you think I should have fought with
Coach Brockton today, huh?

He slugged you, Dad.

Yeah, and because he's slugged me, I
guess I should have slugged him right

You gotta admit, there's a certain logic
to it.

Ben, do you remember how this whole
thing got started?

Rodney tripped me.

Rodney tripped you, and that's why I
went down to talk to the coach, and we

ended up punching each other up.

Now, did that solve anything?

to watch.

Yeah, and because I fought with the
coach the very next day, you and Rodney

it out.

Did that solve anything?

No, that's why we went down there today.

Okay, so suppose I had punched him back.

Would that have solved anything?

Yeah, because he would have had two
broken arms, two broken legs, a fat lip,

he wouldn't be coaching anymore.

No, he wouldn't be coaching anymore.

But he'd go out and he'd get one of
those electric wheelchairs and he'd show

on our front lawn with a shotgun.

Who can play that game, Dad?

Ben, we don't have an electric
wheelchair.

No, but we can get a machine gun and
blow Mr.

Brockton away like in Rambo.

Okay, all right, all right.

Let's say we do that.

All right, we won!

I think you've won.

And then you're back at home, and you're
taking a shower, and you're getting

ready for bed, and suddenly along comes
Mrs.

Brockton. Into our shower?

No, into our living room. And she brings
her own machine gun.

And she wipes out Mom and Carol.

Oh.

And then what do we do?

Well, for one thing, we cook for
ourselves.

Oh, come on, Ben. Don't you want to get
even?

We trade in the Volvo and get a tank.

Yeah. That's good. Good, Ben.

And then I hop into that tank and I
motor over to the Brockthams and I blow

all away.

Oh, right.

But wait, Ben.

They booby -trapped the front lawn.

I'm sorry to hear that, Dallas. Yeah.

So just as I'm pulling away, that tank
and your father get blown to

Oh, my gosh.

Hmm.

So you see what I'm getting at?

Yeah. I've been left alone with Mike.

No, no, because while you were brushing
your teeth, Rodney's cousins came and

took care of Mike.

They got Mike, too?

So I'm all alone.

Weird, isn't it?

Just a few days ago, you had a family, a
husband.

your subscriptions to Boys Life magazine
and a few faded memories.

But hey, it was worth it, wasn't it?

Because we didn't chicken out.

No, sir, we fought back.

Do you remember how this got started
again?

Rodney tripped me.

Oh, yes, Rodney.

Well, we won't have him to worry about
anymore.

Guess we found a pretty good way to
solve your problem.

No, we didn't, Dad. It was a stupid way.

I need another drink. Want one?

Sure, set them up.

So I guess you really didn't chicken out
today, huh?

No, I didn't chicken out, Ben.

I just feel that most of the time,
fighting is not the answer.

And that whenever possible, we really
must try to find a better way.

I'll drink to that.

You know what, Dad?

What, Ben?

I'm glad you didn't get blown to
Connecticut.

So am I.

How you doing, guys?

Pretty good, Mom.

Ah, that must be Jennifer.

Poor girl.

She's no idea what Mike's going to do to
her feet tonight.

Jennifer, what a neat dress.

Come on in, babe.

You look pretty.

Very nice.

Jennifer.

Mike, you look so handsome.

Yeah, just like that waiter at the fish
restaurant.

Mike, I got terrible news.

The wedding's off.

What?

My sister caught the groom in the
confessional with her maid of honor. She

the whole thing off.

I've been through? How could she do this
to me?

We call him Mr.

Sensitivity.

Jennifer, we can't let this happen. I
want you to go over here and call your

sister right now and talk some sense
into that girl before she throws her

away. Mike, it's no use. It's all over.

I'm just asking you to call her. I can't
do that.

Well, hey, maybe she can marry somebody
else.

Mike! Okay, okay, fine.

Okay, come here.

What? Just come here.

Like, I'm really not in the mood for
this.

Somebody give me the phone.

Maggie, I think we might have created a
monster.

You're looking good out there, Ben. I
feel like a new man since Coach Brockton

got the boot.

Uh -oh. Here comes the coach. It's five
laps. We're talking with the fans.

All

right.

Come on, you guys.

Let's get together here. First game
score. Let's go.