All language subtitles for growing_pains_s01e13_the_love_song_of_m._aaron_seaver

Show me that smile again.

Don't waste another minute on your
crying.

We're nowhere near the end.

The best is ready to begin.

Oh, as long as we got each other, we

got the world.

As long as we keep on giving, we can
take anything

that comes our way.

Okay, now we've only got two days left
to practice, so we've all got to help

Carol work on her gutter ball.

Why, Dad?

It's perfect. It goes in the gutter
every time.

Come on, Carol. Now, let's try this
relief.

So suppose it's headed for the gutter.
Now, what do we do?

We lean to the left here and pull it
over. Over to the right, over to the

Oh, wow.

Perfect.

Come on, guys, get it together.

Kuzmin's this year.

Now, Ben, this is a neighborly little
game of tenpins.

Let's not turn it into bowling for
blood.

Dad, they've beaten us three years in a
row.

And then little Kenny Kuzmin stands
outside our window and does that stupid

little chant.

Turkeys, monkeys, chipmunks, beavers,
they all bowl better than the seavers.

Well, let's kill the Kuzmin. Let's kill
the Kuzmin. Come on, Maggie. Okay, okay.

We can do it. Okay, watch this.

Good bounce.

Well,

hey, how can we lose? We've got our new
secret weapon, Mike the Strike Zebra.

You know, his average is up to 187.

Oh, good.

There he is now.

Mr. Dolan.

We're number one. We're number one.

Okay, watch carefully.

Here we go.

Yes, thank you, thank you. And now
there's just one more thing I'd like to

Carol, I'll give you three dollars if
you write me a neo -symbolist poem.

Mike, why would you want your sister to
write you a neo -symbolist poem?

Dad, the most wonderful thing happened
to me at school today.

Mike, I forgot what I was going to say.

Can you explain for us the significance
of the C in Moby Dick?

Uh, sure.

Sure.

Uh, it's the letter between the I and
the K.

It's a little technique I picked up at
the last teacher's convention.

I'm Juliet.

And I'm Romeo.

Dad, I've never met a girl like Juliet
before.

Mike, you say that every time.

Well, it's different this time, Dad. I
mean, Juliet is really classy. She was

born in Paris. She was raised in London
and New York. She writes poetry.

And she even speaks three different
languages.

That's three more than you speak.

So you ought to impress this new girl
with a poem.

Yeah, but not just any poem, Dad. A neo
-symbolist poem.

That's her favorite brand.

Mike, if Carol writes the poem, it's not
yours. It's Carol's.

Not if she gives it to me.

Well, Mike, if you're really going to
get along with this girl, sooner or

you're going to have to be
straightforward with her.

Dad, I can't do that.

Oh, sure you can. What do you usually
say to a girl you like?

Hey, baby, wanna one -way ticket to
paradise?

I'd better write him the poem.

All right, Mike.

Hey, look, look, I know what you guys
are thinking, but I'm just gonna use

poem to get her to talk to me. Then I'll
be myself.

Well, if you guys think that a $3 poem
is any substitute for real and honest

communication, then go ahead.

Mike, Dad's right.

Real and honest is gonna cost you five.

With eyes that scan the distance, with
feet that cross the sand, with

thoughts that keep me dreaming, this
place is where I stand.

I hate my mother.

Oh, way to write, Juliet.

Hey,

was that a poem or what, guys?

Does anyone else have anything they'd
like to read for the class?

Uh, Miss Jeffers, I have a little poem
I'd kind of like to recite for the class

today. This isn't going to get me fired,
is it?

Miss Jeffers, you know how they always
say that despite all the hardships of

teaching, there are those rare moments
that make it all worthwhile?

Yes.

This one's for you.

Let us go then, you and I, when the
evening is spread out like a swatted

Life being miasmic, somewhat
protoplasmic, what did it matter if

pitter -patter like loose pancake batter
on the griddle of our days?

I should have been a pair of pantyhose
hanging on the shower rod of our dreams.

Michael, that was incredible.

Oh, really?

I mean, it was really one of my minor
work.

I found it to be a fascinating parodic
melding of popular culture and the

lyrical mode.

Yeah, yeah, that's it. God, it is so
nice to be understood.

You know, Michael, it's wonderful to
discover how gifted you are. Because for

some reason I got the impression that
you were just another suburban dolt.

Me, a suburban dolt?

Oh, life can be cruelly ironic, can it,
Juliet?

All that and cute, too.

Okay, now, Juliet's going to be here any
minute.

There's a few little things here I'd
like to go over.

It's a brief family history. Now, if you
guys could just quickly commit this to

memory. My... Yeah, Mom?

It says here that I'm a writer.

Oh, you are, Mom.

And that I've just completed my 27th
novel.

Okay, all right. So is the rough
estimate.

Apparently, I'm the painter.

Well, you got to admit, Dad, you did a
pretty bang -up job in that upstairs

bathroom.

Strategy, Ben.

Yeah, Ben, see, I just told Juliet that
you were sort of a, um... Well, that you

were a genius at philosophy.

So whenever I wink at you like this, I
want you to read one of these little

phrases here. All right, let's try one.

I think, therefore I am.

Good, good.

Mike, this is ridiculous.

Mike, you don't seriously expect us to
tell Juliet that we're all these things.

Oh, come on, Mom. I'm just trying to
make you guys look good.

Oh, I... I appreciate that, Mike.

But you're asking us to lie.

And badly.

Come on, guys. Just for tonight. Bear
with me. Look, if you can't count on

family at a crucial moment in your life,
who can you count on?

Juliet.

Mikhail.

To think we came that close to naming
him that in the first place.

Mom, Dad, this is Juliet. Juliet, these
are my parents.

Hello, Juliet.

Mikhail's told me so much about you.
Sounds like you have a fascinating life.

Yes, but what is life?

So profound for one who's nine, don't
you think?

But then I guess it runs in the family.

It must.

Tell me, Mrs. Seaver, what does it feel
like to win the Pulitzer Prize for

Literature?

Well, I'll be honest with you, Juliet.

It feels good.

Darn good.

First couple of times, anyway.

Mr. Seaver, Mikhail tells me you're a
painter.

Do you work in oils or acrylic?

Mostly flat latex.

And some high -gloss enamel.

Would you like to see one of my recent
works? I call it Upstairs Bathroom.

dad, no, maybe some other time.

Mr. Seaver, tell me, have you been
influenced by the recent wave of German

abstract expressionists? No, no, no. I'm
really more influenced by the Dutch

boys.

Oh, you mean Rembrandt and Vermeer.
Well, that's fascinating, considering

were a student of Picasso's.

Which reminds me, Mom, is Uncle Pablo
coming to visit for the holidays this

year?

Mike, Picasso is dead.

Well, I guess that's a no.

Yeah, Uncle Pablo loved it when we joked
this way about death.

Yes? But what is death?

Oh, you are so deep.

Sometimes it even scares me.

Thank you.

You know, it really is extraordinary
meeting a family like you in a place

this. Oh?

I mean, I thought I'd have to go into
the city to find a cultural evening like

this. Because Lord knows that most
suburbanites are brain dead.

Which reminds me, Mishka.

I was wondering if you'd like to come to
the city with me to see some

performance art.

Oh, go, Mike. No, go, go. Because Lord
knows you can't get a decent piece of

performance art in the suburbs.

Yeah, you know, that really burns me up.

Tomorrow is the last night of Gerhard's
performance piece, and there's no one

I'd rather see it with than you.

Well, then it's a date.

Mike. Yeah, Mom?

Aren't you forgetting something?

Yeah, a prior commitment like something
else for tomorrow night?

One that's very, very important to your
entire family.

Uh, gee, no, I don't think I had any
plans for tomorrow night.

Sure you do, Mike. We're supposed to
go... Mishka, what is he doing?

Um, he's dancing. Yes, incredibly
enough.

Little Ben here is a philosopher and a
modern dancer.

Now, uh, he's got a recital tomorrow
night, but once you've seen one little

philosopher dance, you've seen them all.

So we're on?

Right, we're on.

Au revoir, Mishka.

It was incredible or what, huh?

I know, I know.

Look, I'm sorry I had to pass on the
bowling, but I knew you guys would

understand.

You don't understand.

You really don't understand.

Mike, you have to go with us. You
promised.

How are we supposed to beat the Kuzmans
without you?

You guys, it's just a game.

That's not the point, Mike. You made a
commitment.

We're all counting on you. And if you
can't count on your family, who can you

count on?

Look, Dad, I'm involved in a
relationship here with an artist.

I can't just drop that to go bowling.

A relationship?

She doesn't even know who you are.

She thinks you're Mishka.

And you're just a bowler like the rest
of us.

Hey, how do you know what I am?

Maybe I'm not a bowler. Maybe I am
Mishka.

Maybe I'm gonna barf.

If this were the Russian army, he'd be
tried for desertion and shot.

Carol, we're not going to force your
brother to go bowling with us. Anyway, I

have a hunch that pretty soon he'll
realize he's not Mishka.

Well, what do I know? I'm just a
painter.

Essence of cow?

What piece of... This, I love this.

Oh, yes, yes, I love this thing.

I mean, I've seen cow essence before,
but this... Andre, Fabrizio! Juliet!

God, I haven't seen you since the
Gertrude Stein -a -thon.

This is a good friend of mine, Michael
Siever. Michael is a poet.

Oh, look, the performance piece is about
to start.

Oh, I hear it. It's brilliant.

Orangutans bark at the sound of...

a perfect commentary on the fashions and
foibles of middle -class America.

Oh, yes, yes, absolutely.

Fashions and foibles.

Fashions and foibles.

Oh, Mishka, you can't be serious. I
mean, it's obviously a plea for nuclear

disarmament.

Obviously. Yes, nuclear disarmament.

You'd be dumb as a post to miss that.

So you're saying it's a comment on
contemporary fashions and nuclear

disarmament?

Yes. Yes, right.

Everybody knows that contemporary
fashions are obviously nuclear.

And that's disarming.

All right, team, let's go.

Give me an S.

S. Give me an E.

All right, I'll finish it myself.

A -V -E -R.

What does it spell?

one of our stronger team members, but
we've got to believe we're going to win.

And we do believe we're going to win.
And why do we believe we're going to

Because we're idiots?

No, Ben, because we're the Bolin's
Thievers.

Look at this.

Chase and Bud Thiever. And that's not
all.

I also have one here for Ben Fudd's

For Carol, spud -ceiver.

Is this fun?

And Maggie, mud -ceiver.

Well, there aren't that many words that
end in ud.

Okay, we ready?

Now, give me an S.

S. Give me an E.

Michael read the most remarkable poem
the other day.

Ah, it was just a little something from
my recent neosymbolist period.

Really? What were you before you became
a neosymbolist?

I was a, um, a neosynephrine.

Oh, a joke! How funny!

Well, Michael, why don't you read one of
your poems for us now?

Yes, now! Right now!

Everybody, I'd like to introduce... Miss
Michael Thieber, an exciting... Juliet,

I can't do that.

Why not?

I didn't even bring my poem.

So what? Why don't you recite one of
your older works?

No, no, actually, I couldn't do that.

What are you talking about, Michael?

Look, Juliet, it's this legal thing. I
mean, I sold all my poems to Hollywood,

and from now on, only Jack Nicholson's
allowed to read them.

Oh, Michelle, stop joking around and
read your poem.

Everybody's waiting. Look, look, Juliet.

I have to tell you something.

The truth is, I'm not a poet.

What?

But the poem you read, it was... I
didn't write it. I bought it.

You mean you lied to me?

Look, Juliet, when you first walked into
that classroom, I thought you were so

much different, so much classier than
anyone else I'd ever seen.

I just wanted to impress you.

But your family, the Pulitzer Prize, the
modern dance recital. No, my family's

not at a modern dance recital. Then what
was this?

Bowling.

Bowling. Yeah, bowling.

See, it's this big match we have every
year with the neighbors. It's called

bowling for dinners. That was my dad's
idea.

And the losers have to take the winners
out for a big surf and turf dinner at

Ferber's House of Meat and Fish.

Ferber's House of Meat and Fish.

It's such a disgusting image. I mean,
two entire families rolling balls from

meat.

Hey, you come to the salad and choice a
rice or potato, okay?

I don't believe this.

You're one of those people who bowls and
hangs out at malls and eats

hot dogs on a stick.

So what's wrong with that?

Maybe you like malls. Maybe you like
bowling.

Michael, will you please lower your...
What?

What, are you ashamed of me, Juliet?

You ashamed of being seen here with me?

This is really embarrassing. Oh, you
want embarrassing? I'll give you

embarrassing.

Hey, buddy, you know what? You want to
know why there's no lumberjacks in the

big cities?

Huh? It's because they're all at the
malls eating hot dogs on sticks.

Now, come on, guys. We've only lost two
games.

We've only played two games.

I hate the closeness.

Did you hear them over there? They had
the whole snack bar singing.

We're mopping the floor with receiver
four.

I won't even tell you what they have
them singing in the men's room.

Well, then, let's practice. Come on,
Carol, you can do it. Let's just grab a

ball right now. Work on your approach a
little bit.

Just remember to square your shoulders
and whip that wrist and follow through,

okay? Come on.

Yes.

Well, I'll have to check the rule book
on this, but I'm pretty sure they have

be in our lane.

Well, this will be an expensive dinner
this year.

Koosmans are off their diet.

The slobs.

Hi,

guys. Sorry I'm late.

Hey.

Look, guys, about the way I've been
acting.

Well, I guess I owe you guys some.

Hey, Mike.

Yeah, Dad?

of the entire Seaver family.

I'm talking about Buds, Bud Mud, and of
course myself, Bud.

May I present this to the man who led us
to victory.

Yay, Mike!

Well,

I guess when all's said and done, it's
your family who knows you best.

Mike!