All language subtitles for growing_pains_s01e09_carol_s_crush

Show me that smile again.

Don't waste another minute on your
crying.

We're nowhere near the end.

The best is ready to begin.

Oh, as long as we got each other.

We can take anything that comes our way.

Here

she

comes.

Have you finished moving your science
project, Carol?

You bet.

Oh, we're sorry, sweetheart, but we
needed the guest room.

So you throw my volcano out on the
street?

That's wrong, Mom.

I say we keep the volcano. Just throw
Carol out on the street.

Carol, we're all sorry. It's just that
Jeff's law school interview got moved up

a week. These things happen.

Yeah, well, I've cleaned it up as best I
could.

He finds me in his bed, he can sue me.

Boy, Jeff must be 23 by now.

And I don't think we've seen him since
Fred and Doris moved to Ohio. What,

six years ago? Yeah.

I hope they've resolved that situation
with his teeth.

Oh, yeah.

Now I remember this guy.

Hi. Oh, my God.

Can it, you guys. Now, Jeff's a nice
boy, and while he's in our house, I

you to treat him like one of the family.

Treat him like a human being.

No, please, don't get up. I'd rather
enjoy doing all the work in the house.

Carol, be nice.

Oh, come on, Dad. When have you ever
known me not to be... nice?

Carol?

Boy, somebody's really grown up.

Somebody's really been to an
orthodontist.

Well, after I graduated, I decided to do
some traveling in South America.

Oh, give us the highlights.

Well, I went to Carnival in Rio, then I
did some rock climbing in the Andes, and

then I got dysentery in Bogota.

That sounds fascinating.

You've obviously never had dysentery.

So tell us about Brazil, Jeff. I've
always wanted to go there. Oh, it's

spectacular. The people, the history,
the... culture. I hear they got a lot of

nude beaches there.

Mike!

He's so immature.

Nude beaches aren't so great, Mike.

Yeah, where are you supposed to keep
your keys?

You can hang them on your... I just
wanted to say ear.

Okay, okay, we're ready for a little
trivial pursuit.

Great. What are the teams?

Hey, I'm not getting stuck with Ben
again.

I mean, when he doesn't know the answer,
he gets huffy. I do not!

Okay, Ben, I'll be on your team.

Oh, great.

Now I have to carry Dad again.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Jeff's our
guest. He should get to pick.

Yeah, Jeff, you pick.

Okay, one question.

Who wrote Gulliver's Travels? What's the
chemical formula for sulfuric acid? And

where's Tierra del Fuego?

Jonathan Swift, H2SO4, the southernmost
tip of Argentina.

There's my partner.

What's so funny?

Oh, I was just thinking about Carol and
Jeff last night.

She has such a crush on him. No.

Well, I remember Miss White, my seventh
grade biology teacher.

Wow.

Of course, that was more of a
relationship than a crush.

Uh -huh, and I bet every boy in your
class had the same relationship.

Oh, I was different.

I was the only guy allowed to clean out
the hamster cage.

Ooh, sounds pretty torrid.

It was in her apartment.

Well, it's on that road map. Now I
really have to visit Aunt Vera.

Aunt Vera's the one who's always
dreaming up those fatal diseases?

Mm -hmm. You name it, she's almost died
from it.

And now for the Huntington Huskies,
Huskies, Huskies. It's number 68 in your

program, gram, gram, and number one in
your heart. It's hard.

It's Ben, the Sandman Seaver!

Sandman, all of America wants to know,
why do they call you the Sandman?

when I hit him, I put him to sleep.

What position do you play, Ben?

Defensive tackle.

Whoa, one of the big boys, huh? What do
you take the scales at, 280, 285?

73 and a half.

Today he goes against the biggest
offensive lineman in the league.

Yeah, Jumbo Jimbo Luzetsky, 4 '6", 81
pounds.

They say he can eat a whole cheeseburger
in one sitting.

Hey, last chance, Jeff.

You sure you don't want to join us for
some peewee football?

Yeah, and you don't even have to watch
the game.

Most guys just watch the peewee up.

I really love you guys, but I promised
my Aunt Vera I'd stop by so she could do

this for a half an hour. Oh, Jeffy, I'll
be dancing.

Why don't you call more?

Hey, if she's dead when you get there,
why don't you just go on by the gate?

Mike. Just kidding.

Well, we're about ready. Where's Carol?
You want me to get it for you, Mom?

Yo, rhino breath!

Thank you, Mike.

Mike, you are such a... Oh, hi, Jeff.

Hi. Oh, Carol, you ready to go to the
gate?

Oh, um, I've got to watch my banana
bread cool.

Well, Carol, I'm no physicist, but I
think it can manage without you.

I can't abandon it now, Dad.

I've been with this bread since it was
dough.

I'm going to visit a relative, and I'm
going to meet a friend in the city for

dinner and a show.

Oh, what are you going to say?

The new Gershwin review.

Oh, I just love Gershwin.

His music is so musical.

Hello?

No, there's no spud brain here.

Oh, Carol, I think that's for me.

to do with these two tickets.

Fine. Yeah, great.

Good talking to you too, spud brain.
Bye.

Kara.

Yeah, Jeff? What are you doing tonight?

Um, eating banana bread.

Darn. Shoot, heck, I was hoping you
weren't busy.

I can get out of it.

Would you like to see the Gershwin
review tonight?

at your place? You know where I live?

Let's see. Second door from the
bathroom.

Right. That's it.

Someday he'll come along.

The man I love.

And he'll be going to NYU Law School in
the fall.

And oh, wait.

He has another tackle for Ben, the meat
cleaver steaver.

Are you guys hungry? Not me. I had

jumbo Jim for lunch.

All right, somebody get this kid a
cheeseburger.

A whole one? Yeah, and make it raw.

Hey,

I hate to sound like a mother here, but
you guys won't be happy until you've

broken something, will you?

No, no.

And hit the showers.

I've got a bad punting practice within
the living room. Ah!

Chocolate, too.

So, have you heard what your daughter
has planned for tonight?

About cross -indexing her National
Geographics again.

No, she's going to dinner and the
theater in the city.

With Jeff.

Oh, that sounds a lot like a date.

I'm afraid that's what Carol thinks.

Oh.

and Jeff just thinks he's taking his
little friend Carol out to see a show.

got it.

Well, we shouldn't be too protective and
tell her she can't go. She'll be

crushed. Yeah, but if we let her go, and
then she finds out she's taking it all

wrong, she'll be crushed.

Well, at least she'll get to see a good
show first.

Well, Maggie, maybe Carol isn't quite as
carried away as we think. I'm sure on

some level she realizes Jeff's an adult
and she's still a child.

Uh -huh.

It's always like that on a helmet night.

Thank you.

She's very pretty.

She's okay.

If she's only okay, I'd like to see her
idea of great.

I looked on everything. She looks a
little dopey to me.

So your ideal woman should be
intelligent?

Yeah, I like an intellectual woman.

But she should be romantic, too.

But not take herself too seriously.

Like that.

What else?

Wait a minute.

You have somebody specific in mind,
don't you?

Yes.

I thought you were in London. Oh, yes.
Well, I got in a fight with my acting

coach. He insisted I play Lady Macbeth
in a tank top.

Hey, I'd go.

I'm sorry, Leslie, this is... Carol.

Carol Seaver. Carol, this is Leslie
Berenson.

Carol's an old family friend. She's like
a little sister I never had.

Oh, that's sweet.

What grade are you in in school, Carol?

Ninth.

If you'll excuse me, I have to go to the
bathroom.

Show? Oh,

the show was great.

Well, good night.

Carol?

Yeah, Dad?

Where's Jeff?

not wanting to print that last 50 yards.

Right. Well, nighty -night.

Carol?

Uh, I think I can explain.

Well, I guess that's it.

Hey, kids, why don't you help Jeff get
his bags in the car?

Okay, I get the big one.

No one wants the big one.

Okay, but only because you're my brother
and I love you.

Works every time.

Be sure to say goodbye to Carol for me.
I really feel terrible about last night.

Oh, Jeff, how many times do we have to
tell you it's not your fault?

Carol gets a little carried away, but
she's resilient.

She gets hurt, she bounces right back.

That's bouncy.

Oh, Jeffrey.

I'm so glad I caught you before you
left.

I'd like you to meet Richard, my
significant other.

Pleasure to meet you, Richard.

Significant other what?

Richie's been out of town. He just flew
in from Paris.

Oh? Now, what were you doing in Paris,
Richie?

Uh...

I was on business.

What do you do, Richie?

He's our paper boy.

Well, that's some route.

Well, au revoir, Jeff.

Do come back and visit soon.

Richie and I will be upstairs. We have
so much catching up to do.

We're so this way.

Oh.

Oh, this is incredible.

Oh, I mean, I come here to collect for
the paper.

And I find romance.

Then they say it comes when you least
expect it.

second floor.

There's a ledge and a drainpipe. Use
your imagination.

Now out.

All right, I'm going.

Wait.

Is this a test of my love for you?

Sure.

Where's Richie?

Oh, I threw him out.

Out where?

Out there.

Don't worry, he climbs like a squirrel.

Well, sounds like you two have a pretty
stormy relationship.

Oh, come off it, Dad. You know Richie
and I don't have a relationship.

I just pretended he was my boyfriend so
I could get back at Jeff.

Oh, sweetheart.

Jeff, my...

No, Carol, Jeff does not think you're a
doofus.

He thinks you're a beautiful,
intelligent young woman who just happens

little too young for him.

Yeah, sure.

Oh, Carol, that's what he said. He feels
terrible about the whole thing.

Everybody acts a little crazy sometimes,
you know. That doesn't mean you're a

jerk. It just means you follow your
heart.

That's right, honey.

In fact, your father...

Made a major bozo of himself over his
seventh grade biology teacher.

Well, what'd you do?

I didn't do anything. Oh, come on.

Well, uh, mine's a little embarrassing.

I kidnapped her hamsters and threatened
to flush them if she married Mr.

Sprinkleman, the shop teacher.

You didn't do that.

You didn't really do that.

I really did.

And I put a bag over my head and I stood
outside her window and sang, that's

what you get for loving me.

You must have looked like a real doofus.

It happens to be one of my best numbers.

Well, I'm sure your mother's not exactly
an innocent in the doofus for love

department.

Yeah? What have you done?

Oh, well, honey, I've done so many.

Silly things, I couldn't possibly list
them all.

Well, come on, just pick one.

Yeah, the silliest.

Well, okay, okay, let's see.

Okay. Okay, once.

Once I wrote a note that said, I think
you're cute to a boy I

didn't even know.

thing you ever did?

Your mother's a pretty zany lady, Karen.

So I guess you're trying to tell me this
problem is genetic.

Mom? Yes, sweetheart?

Did Jeff really say that he thinks that
I'm beautiful and intelligent?

Mm -hmm.

He really said that.

And I think he'd appreciate it if you
went downstairs and said goodbye to him.

Still here?

Said he'd wait for you.

Yeah?

Did he say how long?

I really appreciate you coming down to
say goodbye with Richie coming in from

Paris and all.

Yeah, well, Richie and I have an
understanding.

He lets me say goodbye to other men.

Look, Carol, if I hurt you in any way,
I'm really sorry.

Don't worry about it. I mean, we had
some good times.

What more can ask from life?

Well, if it makes any difference, if we
were both 14, I'd be one lovesick puppy.

Really?

Really.

Imagine how fun it would be if we were
both 23.

Well, maybe when I'm 23 and you're 32.

Or when you're 32 and I'm 41.

I'm not going to be wanting to date any
old geezers in the prime of my life.

What if I'm a rich old geezer?

We'll talk.

You know, you're very special, Carol.

Pretty soon you're going to bump into
some lucky guy your own age who's going

find that out.

Bye, Carol.

Bye. But brain.

Richie!

Well, guess I should be going, huh?

No, Richie.

I'm sorry I was so rude to you.

I hope you can forgive me.

Oh, that's okay.

This was the best day of my life.

You're sweet.

Thanks for everything.

Sure.

You know, I couldn't help but overhear
what Jeff was saying about some lucky

your own age.

I just thought since I am 14... Go!

Men.

until something gets broken, will you?

All right, time out. I'm sorry. Mother's
right.