All language subtitles for growing_pains_s01e07_weekend_fantasy

Show me that smile again.

Don't waste another minute on your
crying.

We're nowhere near the end.

The best is ready to begin.

Oh, as long as we got each other.

Jason,

I don't know what we're gonna do about
dinner.

I've got to work late tonight or I'll
never finish that story. Oh, don't

Mike's got that dentist appointment at
three. I can take him. I canceled my

three o 'clock patient. I moved my
claustrophobic back to six.

Great. Can he cook?

Well, maybe.

As long as he's not in an elevator.

Never mind. I'll pick up something.

You know how long it's been since you
and I've been alone together?

We're alone now.

I'm talking about alone. I mean, without
our children, without our work.

Without our clothes.

Hey, Mom, where are my wings?

Houston looks like I'm going to have to
bring her down in the kitchen.

Mom, come on, Mike. I've got a dress
rehearsal in ten minutes.

Oh, no, enemy plan is like a definite
dogfight.

Stop shooting your sister and give the
kid back his wings.

Okay, okay, okay.

And Seaver steals the ball at midcourt.
He fakes left, fakes right, goes up

and... Foul!

That's it.

Now the last one on that school bus has
to eat your father's pancakes for a

week.

Well, see if this gives you any ideas.

Bronx gorilla takes bride?

No, no. Leave that.

Mount Snow getaway weekend.

$189 .95.

Oh, Jason, look.

It's at the Hartley Inn. Remember the
last time we were there?

Yeah.

Fifteen years ago.

Right after we were married.

As I recall, we never did use our Lyft
tickets.

Nine months later, we had Mike.

Maybe we should have done a little
skiing.

Boy, wouldn't it be fun to do that
sometime?

Well, how about this weekend?

What? Yeah, come on, Maggie. Why don't
we just go for it?

Really? Really.

Boy, it would be so much fun.

Let's see, $189 .95 times two. Do you
think they'd charge full price for Ben?

No. No, no, because I'm talking about a
Ben -less weekend.

A Ben -less, Carol -less, Mike -less
weekend.

That's a pretty exclusive guest list.
Yeah, well, call me a snob.

Oh, Jason, where are we going to find a
sitter on such short notice?

Well, I have the perfect candidate.

Who? Sit down.

Not Mike. I begged you to sit down.

But, Jason, we've never left him in
charge for more than six hours.

Yeah, well, our homeowner's policy
covered most of that.

Come on, what's the problem?

Honey, he's 15. He doesn't even have his
driver's license.

He doesn't have to drive the house. He
only has to sit in it.

I know, but it's just that it's such a
big step.

Oh, I agree. It's a very big step.

For us.

What do you mean?

Well, I mean, it's tough to admit
sometimes that your kids are growing up.

Jason, the boy just slam -dunked a
grapefruit through his brother's halo.

Well, I think Mike should be able to
handle something like this.

The question is, can we handle it? You
really think they'd be okay?

I really think they'd be okay.

Okay. If they can handle it, I can
handle it. Then you'll go.

You bet.

And you'll kick back and relax.

Jason, you are looking at the first lady
of relaxation.

Okay, one more time.

Emergency phone numbers.

In the kitchen or in the refrigerator.

Okay, poison drill. Strong alkalides,
acids, petroleum products.

Call the paramedics and drink milk.

Everything else, check with the doctor
and throw up.

If it isn't the First Lady of
relaxation.

We're just going over a few things,
Jason. Let's not make a big deal out of

Okay, Mike, here's $100.

I was going to do this for nothing, but
thanks.

That's for emergency use only.

So, like, if we have emergency dates?
Just kidding, Dad.

I find that humor keeps the little ones
at ease.

Thanks for the tip, Mike.

Now, we want you guys to all try and get
along.

Mike is in charge.

And I want to reassure you that if
anything should go amiss, justice will

swift.

And severe.

Dad, don't you think there should be,
like, a system of checks and balances

here? I mean, I can accept that Mike has
a certain authority.

Just so Ben and I have. Baseball bats.

I'll get that.

Good afternoon.

I'm from the Facts R Us encyclopedia
company.

I'm sorry, sir, but my parents really
don't have time at the moment. You see,

they're about to go away for the
weekend.

Oh.

Okay, well, thank you anyway.

Have a nice trip.

Mike, you should never, ever tell
someone like that that your parents

going to be home.

Not off to a great start, Mike.

Okay, okay. I mean, this guy did not
look like the psycho killer type.

Oh, I see. Well, tell me, smart guy,
what exactly does the psycho killer type

look like?

That's very good.

Okay, that's it, that's it, that's
everything.

Look, by the time we get to the hotel,
it might be very late. What are you guys

going to do tonight?

Probably just hang out.

Okay, so we'll call you in the morning.

Right. We're out of here.

Your father and I are relying on you,
Mike, and we have the utmost confidence

your ability to take care of the house
and my babies.

It's no time.

And we wouldn't be doing this if we
didn't trust you, Mike.

Maggie,

let's go.

Okay. Okay.

Well, bye, everybody.

I think I can. I think I can. I think I
can.

They've added stairs, you know.

Oh, Jason, look at this.

Ah, looks great.

It's the same room we had 15 years ago.
Mm -hmm.

Same furniture.

Same view.

Hey, same bar of soap.

But everything's the same.

Ah, they've sanitized the toilet for our
protection.

I'm sure they held off as long as they
could.

Remember what we did here?

That very first night?

You were crazy.

You still that crazy?

Oh, I don't know.

Ron, I dare you.

Double dare?

You're all right.

Whoa!

Still crazy after all these years.

Look out.

You know, maybe we should call the kids.

Did somebody say we should call the
kids?

I mean, they feel so...

Far away.

Yeah? You know, 300 miles away.

Yeah. Can you imagine how tiny they'd
look from 300 miles away?

Yes.

How lost, how helpless, how abandoned.
Maggie, it's after 10.

We said we'd call them in the morning.

I know, but... And Ben's asleep.

You don't want to wake him up now, do
you?

Uh -huh.

Sweetheart, why don't you just start
unpacking or something?

Okay. All right.

I'll start by putting away your sweater.

All right, honey, what's the matter?

Jason, the phone's rung seven times and
there's no answer.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Jason, that's 27 rings.

Maybe they're sound asleep.

29 rings.

Three people could not sleep. 30 rings.

That's only 10 rings apiece.

Wait a minute, honey, come on.

Let me try, okay?

Maybe you dialed a wrong number.

A wrong number, you're right. I could
have done that.

I don't think I did that, but I could
have done that.

Well?

No answer.

Yet.

Honey, it's only been four rings. Plus
my 30.

Jason, something's wrong.

What could it be?

Grilled hamburgers, all right.

Mike, do you really think Mom and Dad
would let us have a barbecue?

What's the big wow, Carol? We've had a
barbecue before.

Never in the living room.

She's got a point there.

Yeah, all right, I'll do it in the
kitchen.

Hey, how does this thing work, anyway?

Oh, never mind, I got it.

Hey, Carol, hand me another glass.

means reading out tonight.

Maggie, I think your imagination's
gotten the better of you.

Mike would not barbecue our house.

But what's going on? Why won't they
answer the phone?

Well, why don't we just think about this
calmly for a minute, okay?

We know they wouldn't do anything crazy.

Maybe they just decided to do something
together.

Something they could all enjoy.

Chapter One. My father's family name
being Philip and my Christian name

My infant tongue could make of both
names nothing longer or more explicit

Pip.

I'll get it.

Darn, I was just getting into it.

Remember what Mom said.

Don't open the door to strangers.

Oh, he's no stranger. He's somebody we
know.

Good evening.

Hi, how you doing? Come on in. Thank
you. Thank you very much.

You kiddies all alone?

No problem, sir. Any decision that needs
to be made, I can handle it. Well, in

that case, I have something very special
I'd like to show you.

Machine gun's going to make us buy one
of your stupid encyclopedias. Shut up!

And hold this.

Actually, this is a submachine gun.

Can anyone here tell me who first
developed this weapon in America?

Thompson.

This is a Thompson submachine gun.

Something you might know if you owned a
set of my encyclopedias.

No, your parents couldn't be bothered.

They were too busy laughing at me. You
were all laughing at me.

The whole world laughs at me. Maybe you
could become a comedian.

And maybe you, little boy, could become
a...

for sharing that with me, Jason.

I feel much better now.

Who are you calling?

Calling Ellen Kuzman.

Hello,

Ellen. Yes, this is Jason Seaver.

Yeah, well, we just called the kids and
there was no answer, so we just wondered

maybe if you could run next door and
take a look at them and... Would you?

Good, thank you.

She's going to call us right back from
the house.

Oh, Jason, I knew this was a mistake. We
should have never, ever left them

alone. Well, honey, let's not panic,
okay? I still say there's going to be

reasonable explanation why they're not
answering the phone.

Yeah? Like?

Well, like, um, it's not unusual for
kids to become phone shy.

Ellen. Yes.

What?

They're not there.

could they be?

I don't know.

Yo, Michael, looking good.

Hey, you kids got IDs?

Yeah, here you go, my man.

Carol Seaver, born 1953.

Looks good to me.

Ben Seaver, Army discharge.

Nom, huh?

Hey, how was it? It was hell.

Wow, Mike.

This place is awesome.

Yeah, how come you didn't bring us here
before?

Well, you know how old -fashioned Mom
and Dad are.

It won't matter after tonight, because
I'm dumping school and starting work

here. All right, Slash. All right,
Seaver.

I can always use another bouncer.

What about you two?

Looking for work?

Parts of me have been missing parts of
you.

Hey, you want to take all of me?

Hey, buddy.

Do me a favor.

Keep this for me.

Sure.

Three shooters and a ball maker. Coming
up.

Hey, babe.

Where you been all my life, huh?

Watch it, dude.

You got something to say, tough guy.

Go ahead.

Make my day.

Well, I'm calling the Huntington police.

516 -555 -9622.

Hey, I'm a mother. I'm a reporter. I
know these things.

Hello, have I reached the police?

Yes, this is Jason Seaver.

Yes, Mike's dad.

Well, I want to report three missing
children.

And it's been at least five minutes.

Well, no, it could be seven. It might be
seven minutes.

My wife and I are in Vermont, and we
left the kids alone.

Yes, with Mike.

Well, we phoned the neighbors, and they
went to check the house. The kids aren't

there.

15 Robin Lane.

Thank you, yes.

Okay. Jason, you didn't leave them our
phone number here.

No, that's because we're going home.

But, honey, it's a five -hour drive.
Well, we fly down, and we'll take a cab,

okay? That's where we belong.

Okay, did you get... you got... Please,
yes. Okay, all right.

The key's bent now. Are you sure you
have the right one? Well, what does that

look like?

The hotel key.

Come on, Rick. What's going on? I'm
tired.

Shh. Look, somebody in the house.

I want you guys to go down the garage
roof, climb out on the oak tree, and

the police from the cruise room.

Come on. Come on.

No, Jason, they're really not here. What
are we going to do?

We'll check back with the police.

Okay, come on.

Yes. Yes, please.

Thank you very much.

Well, the police were here at 11 o
'clock and all the kids were here then.

But, Jason, they're gone now.

Well, I know. They're going to send
another patrol car over right away.

That was quick.

Hands up. Over by the rail.

No, you see, I'm... Move it!

All right.

But we're the Seavers. We live here.

The Seavers are in Vermont, lady. No, we
flew back.

We're them. We're home.

All right, let's see some ID, pal.

It's not a good picture.

All right, Moe, why don't you go outside
and get those kids and bring them in

here? Where are they? Are they safe?

Well, they were fine.

Until they heard some prowlers
downstairs and called the cops.

They can't be my parents. My parents are
in Vermont.

Oh, I don't believe... this?

My baby. Not so fast.

Mike, are these your parents?

Either that or somebody's very clever
with makeup.

Hey, thanks for keeping things fun, huh?

What are you guys doing here?

Wasn't it enough to send the cops by
once this evening?

But, Mike, we called and you weren't
here.

You said you weren't going to call till
tomorrow.

Well, that's not the point, Mike. Where
the hell were you?

Miss Moisiades made a Bundt cake.

She invited us over for dessert.

And then she pulled out the vacation
slides.

They went everywhere.

But we called at 10 o 'clock, Mike.
Where were you then?

Norway.

in mind, Mom, if you've seen one fjord,
you've seen them all.

Is it all true, Carol?

Well, actually, it was more a strudel
than a bunt cake.

Yeah, the rest of it's about right.

What did you guys think we were doing
here, anyway?

we'd never do certain things to our kids
that our parents did to us.

Uh -huh.

Did we just do one of those things to
our kids?

Mm -hmm.

I don't know. I think we handled it
pretty well under the circumstances.

Could have been a lot worse.

Ow.

Could have been us watching Mrs.

Moiseada's vacation slides.

Well, I guess we turned out to be pretty
normal parents after all.

Oh, no.

Maggie, are we normal?

Pretty scary, isn't it?

It is.

Say, you think two normal parents would
go out at 3 o 'clock in the morning for

a double -dip banana fudge sundae
surprise?

I doubt it.

You want to be abnormal?

Love to.

Okay, you go.

Tell Mike we're going out and I'll warm
up the Volvo.

Oh, Jason, Jason, there's just one
problem.

What?

The Volvo's in Vermont.