All language subtitles for growing_pains_s01e05_superdad

Show me that smile again.

Don't waste another minute on your
crying.

We're nowhere near the end.

The best is ready to begin.

As long as we got each other.

We got each other sharing the love too.

Come on, Dad. Stuart's not rabid. He's
peppy.

Mike, animals that live off human toes
are not peppy.

Well, this is great. I mean, I'm trying
to do a good deed for a neighbor who's

out of town, and all you guys can do is
complain.

How come you only do good deeds for
neighbors who walk like this?

Then does the phrase, one good turn
deserves another, mean anything to you?

Mike, does the phrase, get that dog out
of here before I punt it through the

greenhouse, mean anything to you?

Hi, Carol.

Hi.

What's the matter, Carol?

I can't find the peanut butter.

When's Mom coming home?

Usual time.

Can I call her at work?

Of course you can, sweetheart, if it's
important.

Yeah, is Maggie Seaver there, please?

Could you tell her to call Carol when
she gets back? It's really important.

Okay.

Thanks. Bye.

Something you want to talk to me about?

I don't know.

Want me to leave you alone?

I don't know.

Do you want me to stick large, ripe
vegetables in my ear and play the

Remember what we used to do when you
were just a little girl and you had a

problem? I'd steer you over here.

Beep, beep.

Spin you around.

I'm on a counter like that.

So that we could have a little face -to
-face chat.

Yeah. Doesn't work anymore.

Come on.

Talk to me.

Today was the last day of the German
club gummy bear sale.

I asked Joel Chance to get Kevin to
notice me before the dance tomorrow

and Kevin's friend Mark was coming up to
get a gummy, and Melissa said she heard

Mark said he said... Wait, wait, but who
said?

Kevin said.

Said what?

What's that?

Said I look like a gummy bear.

Well, honey, I'm sure he meant it in a
nice way.

Oh, come off it, Dad. I mean, the boy
thinks I look like a bear.

Just ugly.

You do not look like a bear.

But if you walk around thinking that you
look ugly, then you're going to end up

looking like this.

Can you see yourself?

Now, if you walk around knowing you're
pretty, because you are, then you're

going to feel better. You're going to
look like this.

What do you think?

I think it's more important what Kevin
thinks.

Okay. But did you actually hear Kevin
say that he thought you looked like a

gummy bear?

No, but Melissa said she heard he said
it.

Well, since when did you believe
everything Melissa says she heard?

Well, she does make you wonder
sometimes. I mean, she swore she saw

at JCPenney's last week.

Well, they did have that big sale in
home furnishings.

Yeah.

Come on, I just think that you should
take your cues about what Kevin thinks

from what Kevin says himself.

Yeah, you're right.

I need new ice skates.

Did I miss something?

Well, everybody's going to be at the
skating rink tomorrow night and I can...

Get by Kevin and see if he says anything
to me.

Tomorrow morning, you and I go down to
Macy's and we buy you a brand new pair

skates. Who knows, maybe we'll even run
into Tina Turner in small appliances.

Yeah. Hi, sweetheart.

Where's Carol? I got a message that she
wanted to talk to me. She's over at

Lori's. How was your day?

Oh, another last -minute rewrite. I've
never typed so fast in my life. My

fingers are still wiggling. Oh, don't be
wasting those wiggling fingers. Here,

try them right here below the shoulder
blade. Oh, Jesus.

Perfect. Thank you.

So what did Carol want to talk about?
Jim said she sounded very upset.

Yes, well, it seems she has reason to
believe that Kevin thought that she

like a gummy bear.

Kevin? Mm -hmm. The one in the German
club? My dear, the chancellor of the

German club.

Oh, no, she's had a crush on him
since... Yes, since the Oktoberfest

party. Well,

I'll talk to her when she gets home.
Well, she's fine now. She is? Yeah, we

talked it over, figured it out.

You did?

I did.

Well,

honey, you don't have to say that just
so I won't feel guilty.

I'm not, Maggie. No, we talked the whole
thing over, through and through, inside

and out.

We cried, we laughed, we hugged, we
closed with a song like...

That's good, Jason, but if you don't
mind, I think I'll talk to her just the

same. She's fine, Maggie.

Honey, she always says she's fine. Now,
when's she coming home?

You don't think I can hold up my end of
the bargain, do you?

Oh, Jason, what bargain?

Come on, the bargain where you go back
to work and I stay here and take care of

the kids.

Oh, Jason. No, you don't think that I
can handle it, do you? Jason, it's not

that I don't think that you can handle
it. No, no, no, even though I happen to

be a highly skilled professional
counselor. Oh, Jason. Who once talked a

down from the rim of a shark tank. Uh
-huh. No, no, I mean, because I was the

guy who predicted two weeks before the
police caught Son of Sam that he would

turn out to be an ugly mailman from New
Rochelle who talked to his neighbor.

neighbor's dog, huh?

Jason, it's not that I don't think that
you're a wonderful psychiatrist.

What? You're just not a mother.

Well, it's fine with me because this
girdle is killing me.

Ben, where's Mom and Dad?

Hey, Mike, what are you hiding from us?

Me? Hide something from my beloved
mother and father? Oh, no.

Not another one.

Will it bite me? What's the matter, Ben?
Don't you recognize your old pal,

Stuart? Mike, Stuart is black.

So? This dog is white. So?

So I think that's a noticeable
difference.

Come on, Ben. You gotta help me. Stuart
ran away.

Wendy's going to kill you. Not if she
doesn't find out.

Mike, even one of your girlfriends has a
shot at remembering the color of her

own dog.

I'll take care of one. You just make
sure Mom and Dad don't find out.

Hi, guys.

What dog?

Who said anything about a dog?

Not me.

Hi, Mom. Hi, sweetheart.

How are you?

Fine. Oh, great. Just in time for my
show.

I got your message, and I would have
called you back, but I was out of the

office all day.

Oh, that's okay, Mom.

Oh, look at this guy.

What is it?

Dirt in the pit tree.

Why is the butler on all fours?

All the family dogs died and they didn't
have the heart to tell Grandma.

Oh.

So, honey, you want to talk about what
happened at school today?

Carol? Uh -huh, Mom, what'd you say?

Well, you must be really upset about
what Kevin said.

Oh, good, a commercial.

So, let's talk.

What's with this Kevin, anyway?

Oh, I already talked the whole thing
through his desk.

I know that, but I thought maybe a woman
-to -woman talk.

No, really, Mom, I'm fine.

You are?

You're sure?

Honey, you don't have to say that just
so that I won't feel guilty. No, I swear

it's okay, Mom. You know, I thought I
wasn't going to like it when you went

to work, but it's really... Kind of neat
having Dad in the room now.

It's great.

Hey,

those wacky sturgeons on yet?

Oh, come on, Dad. It's in the middle.

Yeah, okay.

Can you move over a little, Mom? Oh,
thanks. Yeah.

You're going to love this.

Oh.

Come on in.

How you doing?

Fine. How was your vacation?

Oh, it was great.

First we went to Europe, and then we
went to France.

Good. Well, you must have quite a travel
agent.

Mike, Wendy's here.

I hope Stuart wasn't too much trouble
for you.

Stuart, no, no, no, no. Once we started
feeding him the neighbor's children, we

hardly knew he was here.

Hey, Wendy.

Just look how glad he is to see you,
Wendy.

That does look like Stuart, doesn't it?
Same color and everything.

Uh, yes. Well, Wendy, why don't I take
you and Stuart home? Come on, Stuart.

Come on. Yeah, that's a good dog. Yeah.

Just look at him, Wendy. I mean, he was
so excited about you coming home last

night that he didn't sleep a wink.

And now, of course, he's exhausted.

Oh.

Ben? Yetta?

What did Mike do to Stuart?

Too sad?

Yeah, Ben.

Mike didn't do anything to Stuart,
but... Hi, sweetheart.

Hello. Where's Carol?

I don't know.

Are we going on vacation here?

No, no. I just thought I'd take Carol
into the city for the day.

You know, taking a couple of art
galleries, run up to Tavern on the Green

lunch, and then maybe pop over to the
Bronx Zoo. Yeah.

I know Carol's been dying to see that
albino hyena on loan from Detroit.

Those things come from Detroit?

Anyway, I thought if we had time...
Listen, sweetheart, does Carol know

all this? No.

Why?

Well, Carol and I were planning to go
shopping together today for a new pair

skates.

Oh.

I think it's important to her because,
well, you know, Kevin and the other kids

are all going skating this afternoon.

Ah. Yes, and you know the big dance is
tonight.

No. Oh, yes.

Uh -huh. No, I didn't realize that.

Mm -hmm.

But then that's more your area now.

Well, honey, you two have a good time.

Maggie, you want to come with us? Oh,
no, I'd just be in the way.

No, no, don't be ridiculous.

No. Oh, no, I can have fun here, really.

I'll just do the laundry, maybe clean a
few toilets.

Does it bother you that Carol and I have
plans together?

No, no.

I think it's great.

I mean, sure, she didn't have time to
talk to me last night, and she doesn't

have time to be with me today, but I
love seeing the two of you together.

You're her father.

She's your daughter.

You're father and daughter. You should
do things together. Father and daughter

things. I'm very happy for you.

Maggie. What?

You know, when Carol came home from
school yesterday all upset, she really

wanted to talk to you.

Oh, yes. It was like pulling teeth to
get her to open up to old Dad.

Yeah?

She still needs her mother, you know.

Sometimes I don't feel like it.

Oh, she does.

And you still wear the girdle in the
family.

I'm very nice to her.

So you're saying that I'm overreacting a
bit.

No. No, I'm saying you're overreacting a
lot.

Dad, I'm telling you, it's just a phase
that Stuart's going through.

People change. Dogs change.

Look, did you ever read passages?

Wendy, how's it going?

What are you doing, little fella?

Mike, this isn't Stuart.

Wendy, Wendy, Wendy.

What would it be if it's not Stuart?

I don't know, Mike, but this dog changes
colors when he gets wet.

Stuart would never do that.

You know, there's an article about this
in the paper. They're saying pets are

changing colors left and right now. It's
that acid rain.

Mike, look.

There's a schnauzer in Cincinnati that
turned purple.

It's perfectly normal. I have the
article upstairs, and I'll go get it.

Mike, stop.

Sit.

Now, what did you do to Stuart?

I lost him.

I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find
him.

Wendy, I would have told you the truth,
but then I asked myself, what is truth?

Is it honesty, or is it pain and
grieving?

Or is it the smile on a beautiful girl's
face?

I guess you know what I think the truth
is.

You took a white dog and you dyed him
black.

Hey, when somebody leaves a black dog
with Mike Seaver, they get a black dog

back.

Look, Wendy, I'm really sorry about all
of this. I know how much you must have

loved Stuart.

Are you kidding?

Who could love Stuart?

What? My family went on vacation to get
away from Stuart.

What?

But I love this dog.

He's so sweet.

I think I'll name him Mikey.

No. Take that.

Mikey Poo.

Did you hear that, Dad? She's going to
name it Mikey Poo.

I'll see you tonight.

Bye.

Okay, bye.

Well, I learned my lesson, Dad. I'll
never do that again.

No, you won't, Mike.

Because you're grounded for the rest of
your life. Dad, you...

And a month after that.

What's with Mike?

I just grounded him for life.

Again?

Honey,

what's wrong?

Dad, you're not going to believe what
Melissa told me.

What? Melissa told me, Mark told Kevin,
that I sweat

a lot.

Well, sweetheart, didn't we decide
yesterday that Melissa's really not that

reliable a source? Yeah, but I mean,
everything's different now, Dad. I mean,

the whole thing is blown wide open.

You see, Melissa said that she... Wait,
you know, this would be a good one to

run by the old pro here.

Okay.

But then I talked to Mark, and he said
he never even said that. Or the gummy

bear thing, either.

Mark, Mark.

But then, Tassie tells me that she was
right.

told Kevin that I do sweat a lot. I
mean, Mark is what happened yesterday.

this has nothing to do with what
happened yesterday.

The point is, I don't know whether I
trust Melissa or Mark because Kathy

Wait, wait, wait, sweetheart.

Now, you said that Kathy also had a
thing for Kevin.

Yeah, so?

Well, that doesn't make Kathy a very
reliable source either. Hmm?

Maggie, wait.

Dad, it's just not fair.

Honey, look, if Kevin is really worth
caring for, then he's going to make up

own mind.

Yeah,

well, I guess he already has.

Because he didn't ask me to the dance.

Meg, you don't be mad.

Meryl's just upset.

She didn't mean to exclude you. I am not
mad.

I am just tired of people taking things
out of the cabinets and not putting them

back where they belong.

Well, what are you looking for? I don't
know.

Well, on the off chance that it's the
mango chutney, we finished it in 1982.

I know what you're feeling. You do not
have any idea what I am feeling, Dr.

Smith. Hey, look, I... No, you may know
what Kevin, Mark, and Melissa are

feeling, but you do not know what I am
feeling.

Maggie, I tried to include you. Oh,
don't patronize me, Jason.

Throwing me a bone, calling me an old
pro.

Maybe in a few years you can bring me
back for old -timer's day.

We talked about all of this. I just
happened to be the guy who was here the

the whole gummy bear thing exploded in
our faces.

It's not just the gummy bears, Jason.
It's the whole past three months.

Oh. The way you've been pampering the
children.

What? Making Ben's favorite chocolate
chip cookies.

What's wrong with that?

What's wrong with that? What's wrong
with that is you're edging me out of my

children's lives.

Edging you out? Is that what you think?

I don't know. You're the expert. Why
don't you tell me what I think?

Okay.

I think you feel guilty about going back
to work.

Of course I do.

And I think you want me to be here to
spend time with the kids. Of course I

And I think you want me to be good at
it. Of course I do.

But you don't want me to be as good as
you are. Of course I do.

Oh.

Well, maybe I don't.

You know, Maggie, I was at work when Ben
took his first step.

And when Carol spoke her first sentence.

And when Mike committed his first
illegal act.

I messed up.

On all that.

And now I have the chance to be closer
to the kids.

Spend more time.

And you begrudge that?

Oh, Jason, I don't really... No, maybe
you do. I know that feeling, too.

Because it's time that goes.

And it never comes back.

They grow up.

And it hurts.

Yeah.

It hurts.

Are you sorry you went back to work?

You want to come home?

No, I don't.

I guess... I guess I just want to have
it all.

But you can't.

How's Carol?

Well, she's not going to the dance with
Kevin. Oh, no, that's too bad.

Yeah. But she does have a chance at
another date that she was pretty excited

about. Really? Oh, yeah. Really? Who is?
I don't know exactly, but she said

something about an albino hyena.

From Detroit.

Yeah, well, not originally, no.

Why is the butler lying on his back?

She's playing dead.

Why is grandma lying on her back?

She is dead.

All the wacky sturgeons.