Original subtitles

>>There's an old Japanese parable

about a troubled warrior who is haunted

by the ghosts of the lives he took in battle.

[HUMMING]

>>Are you the great silk sage?

I must know if heaven and hell exist.

So many have been slaughtered.

For them, I hope there is a heaven.

But I have killed so many, and for me, I pray there

is no hell.

Please, I must know!

>>I would not want to waste such wisdom

on a heartless coward like you.

>>What did you say, old woman?

>>What did you intend to do with that?

Prove that you're a coward by killing a defenseless woman?

I've never seen such weakness in a warrior.

That is hell.

And that is heaven.

>>My name is Maya Angelou, and I believe

that the heart is the most forceful, impactful element

in our lives.

>>You will never ever reach their full potential.

If you don't open your heart.

>>And the power of the heart is to be connected with who

you are at the deepest level.

>>We think of the heart in the poetic sense, the seat of love

and compassion.

And it's this heart that is so terribly important.

>>I'm a writer.

For me, inspiration is essential.

Creativity is essential.

And I can only find it through the heart.

>>The higher order of logic and understanding

originates in your heart.

It's experienced in your heart.

It's lived in your heart.

>>The physical heart pumps blood through the veins and arteries

from the time we're born until time we die.

The most efficient pump ever invented.

But the heart is more than that.

>>We did an experiment here at HeartMath

to study how the information flows

between the heart and the brain, and we actually

discovered something quite remarkable,

something that surprised us.

The participants in the study were

connected to various sensors to measure their brain waves,

their heartbeats, and so on.

And then they were exposed to various images.

Some were high arousal, like a car crash,

or a snake striking, while others

were lower arousal images like bunny rabbits and nature

scenes.

The participants were asked to push a button.

They then saw a blank computer screen for six seconds.

The computer then randomly selected

one of these photographs that it displayed for three seconds.

After that the screen went blank for 10 seconds,

and they were prompted to push the button again,

and they repeated this protocol about 30 times.

When we analyzed all the data, the results were astounding.

The heart seemed to know the images

before the participants ever saw the images with their eyes.

If the future picture was going to be one of the emotionally

arousing ones, the heart rate started

to drop about five seconds before the image was randomly

selected to be shown on the screen.

So nobody could know what this future picture was going to be.

The heart had a much greater de-acceleration

than if it was, say, going to be a calm picture.

These results have since been replicated

in many different independent labs around the world,

actually.

Well, a lot of people say that I don't feel it in my heart,

I feel it in my gut.

But here's what's really happening.

The information comes to the heart first.

The heart then sends a different signal

to the brain which we can measure.

Then you have a brain response, and then a body response.

And with the body response, like feeling

in the gut, or the hair on the back of the neck,

is where it becomes conscious.

But the real flow of information is heart, brain, body.

And this is all happening in many seconds

before the actual event occurs.

So what this body of research is telling

us is that the heart seems to be connected

to a type of intuition that is not bound by the limits of time

and space.

But what is that source of intuition?

What is the heart connected to, and how can we

learn to tap into more of that?

>>I believe that the person who is

disconnected from his or her heart is not living.

I know a lot of people who [? felt ?] that but they

walk, they talk, they watch television,

they work hard sometimes.

>>We're the only living form on Earth

that can actually become the walking dead.

We can actually cut off our own source to aliveness.

>>But somehow this spark of divine energy is lost.

This happened to me.

I said, oh, I want to be a writer.

My band says, oh come on, Paulo.

In Brazil, to be a writer in Brazil,

nobody can make a living out of writing.

I said, but I don't care, I just want to be happy.

I just want to do something that is going to give me fun.

It's going to give a meaning for my life.

And they said, no, no, no, no, no.

And then, of course, because I thought

that old people are wiser, I said, OK, they have reason.

Let me do something different.

But I could not.

I quit the university to I was only [INAUDIBLE] and I said,

you have to burn your bridges.

And I just burned my bridges.

And I had no choice but to follow the thing

that I wanted to do.

So from the moment that I realized

that I want to be a writer, I said, I'm going to be a writer.

It may take 10 days, 10 years, or 20 years,

but I'm going to write.

And then I started by writing lyrics for songs,

I start by writing articles for newspapers.

I wrote my first book when I was 40,

but at least I wrote my first book.

So at the end, if you don't fulfill your dream,

God finds three, four times a way to kick your head

and say, come on.

Don't forget your purpose in your life.

Give a chance to your dream.

You are not going to regret.

I'm not saying that you're not going to suffer.

I'm not saying that you're not going to be defeated.

I'm saying you're not going to go regret it.

>>The medieval female mystic, Mechthild,

beautifully said that a fish cannot drown in water

and a bird cannot fall from the sky.

Each creature must find their own God-given element.

And it's easy for fish and birds, they know their element.

But for human beings it's not so easy.

With well intention, we always struggle

whether to follow our heart and our direct experience

and the advice and instruction of others.

Whether they be parents, loved ones, friends, trends

in whatever age we're born into.

And there's no substitute for following the aliveness

that our heart tunes us to.

>>Many times people are looking for their ideal partner,

and they say they can't find them.

They're looking, and they're looking, and they're looking,

and they can't find them.

Well if your soulmate is not knocking on your door,

it's not that you're not looking hard enough.

If you want to find someone that can fully

love you and know you, you have to know and love yourself.

When we're able to give ourself this kind of love which

says we're good enough just the way

we are, that we're in this world for a reason,

that we're never alone, that sense of fulfillment

provides a foundation for having a successful relationship

with someone else.

>>A great teacher this is a simple flower.

When the flower blossoms, the bee comes.

The flower doesn't go looking for the bee.

And this is where the heart really comes alive,

because relationships are far more challenging than what

we see in the movies.

>>All right, roll it.

>>I've loved you all my life.

>>But we only met two days ago.

>>That's when my life began.

>>The journey of a relationship is

finding love every time again, and again, and again.

And to find love again and again means

you're going to lose it, and lose it, and lose it.

>>Often the question arises that if the heart is so powerful,

why is it so easily broken?

And my time on Earth has led me to understand,

because that's how the heart grows.

In the same way that when we exercise our muscles actually

break down so that they can get healthy and grow stronger,

this is how the heart works.

>>You have to bring forth obstacles,

and that's what a marriage is.

You will be challenged.

>>One day a blonde walked into Charles' life.

>>Was she really pretty?

>>Well, I'd lie about her, but Marian saw her, too.

Yes, she's very pretty.

>>There'll be times when you doubt your partner,

you doubt your relationship, and you're angry with your partner.

>>There isn't the slightest bit of good in you.

>>You're afraid to get close to your partner,

you've been hurt by your partner.

>>He's hiding something from me, Sylvie.

Something terrible.

>>This is part of that journey.

>>You know, in the moment of such breaking, it's agony,

and we feel desperate.

But the heart, the heart just says, give me more.

Give me more.

>>As you come back to love, each time coming back to love,

finding forgiveness, finding acceptance, even

thanking your partner at times for their inadequacies

so to speak, because it poured forth

greater love within yourself, that is how you grow.

>>There was a battle, all right.

But it wasn't Paul I had to fight, but myself.

>>Bonnie will say to me, John, I don't

want to listen to you until you're

talking to me from your heart.

I said, no, I'm talking, I'm making sense.

No.

I want to hear your feeling.

I want to hear your love in the tone of your voice.

And when you can find it, we can talk again.

What a simple message she gives me.

Now, it would be a mistake for her

to say something's wrong with being in my head,

because that would make a very important part of me wrong.

But what she'll say is at times what

my heart is closed, when I sound mean

or focused on being right--

>>Now, if you want to tell me what's troubling you, fine.

If not, I'm tired, it's late, and I want to go home to bed.

>>She'll say, right now, I can't hear this.

I need to hear a little bit more of your heart.

When you're ready to talk from your heart,

I'm ready to talk with you.

>>I think the challenge in our age

is staying in a relationship.

And that doesn't mean to stay in abusive relationships

or relationships that don't work.

And I have found for me that the difference

often as to whether to stay or go in a friendship or a love

relationship hinges on whether all of who I am is welcome.

If I am asked to leave who I am or part of who I am outside,

then no matter what we do in that relationship,

I won't grow.

Because I won't be able to stay connected to my heart.

>>And this is where their story really begins.

It wouldn't be fair to tell you how it ends, for that, we hope,

is something you'll want to experience for yourself.

>>Things can get crazy, no?

So many people, they lose their kids

because there is no relationship,

there is no contact.

Which is very bad, because no time to try again,

and to try again, to find a solution.

I have four kids.

One of them is playing for [? IX. ?] Probably

I paid more attention to that.

And then the oldest one got a little bit less attention,

I don't know, and he was against me in a way.

And I decided, I have to do something.

I have to give him an opportunity to get closer.

And then all of a sudden I told him, come on.

We take the bags and we'll go to Greece, you know?

I said, in order to persuade him, it might be my last time.

>>Why did you say that?

>>When we go up on the Alps I will tell you.

>>I had nothing to tell him.

I just told him because otherwise he wouldn't come,

and I knew that he wouldn't come.

We went from Amsterdam, to Athens, Greece.

You become his brother, you become his mate,

you become his friend.

This would happen up in the Alps, where it was minus 16

and we're freezing cold, so we became one.

>>Hey, where are you, man?

>>Dad, where are you?

>>This is a little house here, come!

>>Hello?

Hello.

Hey!

Look at this, please, please let us sleep with you tonight.

If you allow me to sleep here tonight, me and Willem,

just for a night.

It's so cold.

I love you.

>>And then everything went away all this friction

because I was in the same team with him.

And I love that, and I'm very happy that this little mistake

of mine, which was not dedicating

enough time to my oldest son--

>>I don't know nothing about boxing,

so be careful with your dad, eh?

>>And now that we are really, really good friends.

Every father has good friction with his son.

And love it.

You have good kids, no?

I hope you will enjoy when the friction is coming.

Otherwise he hasn't got any character.

>>You OK?

>>Yeah, man.

>>So when your son is against you, be very happy.

OK?

>>On Sunday, September 22nd, at about 10:54 in the evening,

our daughter was riding her bicycle home from the CSU Chico

State Library when she was struck by a drunk driver

and left on the side of the road to die.

>>In the phone conversation with the nurse,

we knew that she had been in an accident,

but we didn't know any of the details.

That it was a drunk driver, and that it was a 19-year-old kid.

She was riding four blocks home from school.

She was about a half a block from her apartment.

>>You could see her apartment from where she was hit.

>>You could actually stand on the bridge

and see her apartment from there.

>>She was so close.

>>That's how close it was, and I've stood there so many times

and just looked at that distance.

Just thought about that short distance has changed our lives.

>>Christina was one of those extraordinary people

that you don't come across very often.

>>She studied.

She really thought about how to live her life.

She didn't just stumble through life

the way many people do, especially at her age.

From the time she weighed enough to give blood, she gave it.

And sometimes she would even pass out,

and Sandra would drive her home in the car, she'd say,

that's it, you're not going to do this again.

She'd say, no, I am going to do this again, and she would.

She would give blood whenever she had the chance and--

>>Pass out every time.

>>And she'd pass out almost every time.

That's the way she lived her life.

If she thought it was the right thing to do, she did it.

And so many people know the right thing to do,

but they don't always do it.

But she didn't even have to think about it.

>>About three weeks after Christina died,

we had to go and pack up her apartment up in Chico.

And I opened up a drawer and I saw a makeup bag.

I opened up the makeup bag and it had several pieces of paper

in it.

No makeup, but several pieces of paper.

And among those papers was this piece of paper

that was folded and a little tattered.

And I looked at it and I started to read.

And I realized it was bucket list.

She never said I want to be rich, I want to be famous.

She didn't ask for anything unreasonable.

She just wanted to do normal stuff

and she never got to do that.

Be in four places at once.

There's a place called Four Corners.

You can actually go to the edge of all four states, that's

what she wanted to do.

But she's done this already.

Not by being there, but with her organs.

Parts of her are four places at once.

Her liver was split between two people.

One was a 55-year-old man and one was a nine-month-old baby.

A kidney, somebody that the family knew.

Another man got the rest of Christina's liver.

Her pancreas and the other kidney went to a man

in the South Bay.

And her heart went to a 64-year-old woman

from the South Bay at Stanford.

>>Lao Tzu said that I have just three things

to teach, simplicity, patience, and compassion.

In an age where we run from the depth of feeling

and the teachings of the heart, our fear

can reframe simplicity as stupidity,

patience as laziness, and compassion as sentimentality.

And therefore make them not worthwhile to pick up.

Simplicity refers to direct living, firsthand experience.

So the return to touching life directly.

This restores our wholeheartedness.

Patience also restores us to wholeheartedness.

The urgencies we feel ever present are mostly false.

Unless you or I can't breathe or we're bleeding,

there's no real urgency.

And compassion, compassion literally

means to be with, to keep honest company.

So when I am not directly living, when I am not patient,

I want to problem solve your pain

and not keep you company with it.

I'm often asked, well that's fine,

but how can we do that in the real world?

And I see it differently.

I've come to understand that if you don't open your heart,

then existence will crush you.

Not because there's something evil about existence,

but because the way water fills a hole,

if you don't meet the world with who you are then

everything around will just fill you in.

So there's always a question, yes, if I'm out in the world,

I could get hurt, I could get taken advantage of.

I could get betrayed.

My trust may not be rewarded.

This is all true.

But I have found that the cost for not staying

open hearted, whole hearted, is that I lose access

to my aliveness.

>>And we'll end up walking lock step

in a society of consumerism, of getting, of fear, and of worry.

And we will not have lived our life.

We have a life to live.

The heart has the answers.

>>I was editor of a magazine, I started that one years ago.

And I was looking at this magazine.

And as usual, there was this picture

of the editor in front of the magazine.

And I was looking at myself smiling, and I thought,

it's not true.

This is not me.

But there was a sadness, it was like a wave

of sadness that washed me.

It was a really upset moment.

I can laugh at it now.

And I thought, who is this me, or I, or self?

What is it in religion, or in spiritual traditions,

or in philosophy?

What is it?

>>Every spiritual tradition throughout history

has spoken about the heart as being the seed of the soul.

The diamond in the heart, the lotus and the heart,

the temple in the heart.

Every tradition speaks about the heart

as being the essence of who we are.

>>The heart points to the most essential dimension within you.

So to live in connectedness with that,

then you are in touch with the power of the heart, which

is the power of life itself.

The power of the very intelligence

that pervades and underlies the entire universe.

>>Divine intelligence is in your heart.

You will not find your soul in your intellect.

>>And I suddenly thought, wow, look at all these notes.

This could be a magazine.

And the title was easy, because it made me really happy.

Happiness.

So to listen to your heart can be very frightening,

because you might have to lose all the secure things that life

was giving you, like cars, money, houses, everything.

>>Well, I'm a person who has a lot of fear.

Like for example, every time that I

have to write a new book.

Would I be able to express myself?

Would I be able to share my soul?

>>When we consider challenging fear,

we're actually considering shining the light of awareness

on those places within us that are fearful.

>>There is nothing wrong with fear.

The only thing that is wrong is to be paralyzed by fear.

>>So I thought, OK, I face it, I just face it, this fear.

What will happen to me if this magazine is not a success?

Maybe I have to sell the house.

So I looked to another house.

An area in the village where you can rent a very cheap house.

I thought, can I live there?

Of course I can live there.

Why not?

It's a roof, it's a house, I can live there.

And I knew I can handle this.

Whatever will happen, we will live.

>>And there's an old Sioux saying

that says, the longest journey you will make in your life

is from your head to your heart.

And this isn't because we're stupid or we're slow.

It's because it takes time.

Before I had cancer, I believed in the heart

but I was living it from my head.

And that journey, like snow melting into the ground,

the essence of my life melted into my heart.

It took almost dying to make that journey from my head

to my heart.

>>Your primary intention needs to be

connectedness with the heart at this moment.

>>I have to act from a place of good intention.

A place of love and kindness that

will allow me to walk in this world

without creating any damage.

>>You may intend to have a million dollars,

and that intention then needs you to rob a bank.

If you really want the thing, go to the heart and say,

this is what I want.

And the heart can say, I'll show you how you get it.

You must be willing to work, now, and trust me, now.

And then you can have it, yes.

If it's not going to hurt anyone else.

>>Suppose you meet someone who says,

I intend to make more money.

And he says, that's my intention.

You can ask him, why do you want to make more money?

And then you'll start to learn some interesting things.

>>If making money becomes your primary goal,

then know that you are not connected

with the deepest dimension in yourself

that we call the heart.

And even if you achieve your goal and make a lot of money,

you will find that ultimately it leads

to frustration and unhappiness.

>>Fulfill your dream, and certainly money may come.

If money does not come, just to have a life full of joy.

In my case, for example, I never thought

I would make a living out of writing.

I was writing because I wanted to do it.

I had no choice.

So at the end of the day, not only

I made money out of writing, but I made a lot of money

out of writing.

>>It often happens that when your actions become empowered

and contribute something vital to this world,

then abundance in some form-- and it

may be in the form of money-- can sometimes flow to you.

>>It was a great success.

Holland wanted this magazine so it could grow,

and it was the biggest magazine of the Netherlands.

It came from the heart.

It was the real thing.

>>Wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.

>>The heart is who you are.

The heart defines you.

And I really wanted to meet that person,

because I knew that person had to be pretty special to get

Christina's heart.

Late one evening, my son got a text message from a friend,

and said, tell your mom to read the Facebook page.

So I went to Facebook, and I saw a message.

And the message was, I am Susan Vieira,

and I believe I'm the recipient of your daughter's heart.

I knew it was late, but I just figured I'd message her anyway.

And she responded right back.

And I dialed her number, and she picked up.

And right away I just felt a connection.

I felt Christina.

And then when I heard this she was a retired nurse,

and that they had so much in common,

that it was like Christina handpicked Susan

to get her heart.

>>Christina and I were both nurses.

I saw the bucket list, and it's really a CV of my life.

>>She wanted to manage and own her own business.

>>Yes, I did that.

>>She wanted to get married.

>>Yes, I've done that.

>>She wanted to learn how to fly a plane.

>>I've learned to fly a plane.

>>She wanted to go to four out of seven

of the wonders of the world.

>>Yes, check.

>>Fly first class on an airplane.

>>Check.

>>Visit the 50 states.

>>I'm working on it.

>>Ride in a hot air balloon.

>>I've done that.

>>Go parachuting.

>>I'm going to have to wait a while on that one.

>>Ride a camel.

>>Done that.

>>Travel to all the continents.

>>Working on it.

>>Be remembered as the smiley girl.

>>I'm still working on that one, too.

>>She wanted save someone's life,

which she did that in death.

She wanted to own two pieces of property, one with livestock.

>>I hesitated on that one.

I've owned two pieces of property,

but they didn't have livestock on them.

>>She went to break up a fight between two guys over her.

>>No, I haven't done that one.

>>She wanted to run through a poppy field.

>>I haven't done that, either.

>>Tour Niagara Falls.

>>I'd love to go to Niagara Falls.

>>And have children.

>>I don't think so.

At this point, that's one I'm not

going to accomplish on her bucket list.

>>Go to the Smithsonian and drive along Route 66.

>>Drove it all the way from California to Tennessee.

>>And it was so important to her that these

get done that we knew it was something that we wanted to do.

>>I also made the goal to try and do as many

of the undone items on the bucket list.

>>Having a heart transplant, there's

things that she can't do.

She can't go skydiving or parachuting,

so we'll do that for her.

It won't be me because I'm too scared, but it'll get done.

Everything on that list that we can do, we'll do.

>>When are defeated, you cannot pretend that you are

spiritually superior.

Sit down, and cry, and suffer, and say, oh my God,

why did you forsake me?

You are allowed to cry.

You are allowed to be defeated.

>>How not to deny my pain, because if we deny it,

it will get bigger.

And how not to drown in it.

We are asked to let in beauty while we're suffering.

[HEART BEATING]

>>I hear it.

I remember when she was little, and they

would lay my head on her chest, and I would hear her heart.

That's how I felt today.

I thought that's the heart I heard so many times.

>>Good.

>>Thank you.

>>You're welcome.

>>I went through the experience of losing my daughter

because there was malpractice and negligence in the hospital,

and my daughter became a vegetable, really.

In a coma for a year until she finally was liberated and died.

And I could carry for the rest of my life

the burden of the anger and resentment of what happened.

I could blame and sue the hospital.

But I chose to write a book instead.

And in that book I sort of glimpsed the whole thing.

I understood what had happened.

I realized that there was no bad intention.

There was ignorance, negligence, but not

the purpose of harming her.

And I forgave, and I've been able to live

for 19 years with the spirit of my daughter happily.

I don't carry that burden with me.

>>Whenever I'm having a difficult time forgiving,

I think of Immaculee Ilibagiza.

>>I was home for [? Istauli ?] Day.

My brother come to my room--

>>You're still sleeping?

>>He looked like he was awake for many hours.

>>You don't know what happened?

>>I jumped out of the bed, I never

did this before in front of my brother, put on my clothes.

>>We will win!

We will win!

Find the cockroaches!

Find the cockroaches!

>> He said,

>>The president of our country died last night.

>>They're going to kill us.

>>I come from a tribe of Tutsi.

It was well-loved.

And we kind of suspected something might happen.

My parents sent me to hide to a neighbor, who

was from the Hutu tribe.

It was a protestant pastor, and he

put me to sleep in a bathroom of three

by four feet with other seven women.

We couldn't talk, we couldn't speak, as the man told us,

>>I won't even tell my children.

One mistake, one mistake.

It's not that I don't trust my children,

but this mistake, it would be too late for you

and your life will be over.

Don't use the shower.

>>Only flush the water of the bathroom

when someone is flushing the water in the next bathroom.

>>I think [? that we'll be in for ?] a

week or maybe less.

But if we are careful, we might live through this.

Just be careful.

>>We thought it was going to be two, three days.

We spent in that bathroom three months.

>>You must not let your guard down.

The Tutsi snakes are hiding in the grass,

so make sure that you have your [INAUDIBLE] ready to chop

the snakes in half.

>>We couldn't shower.

We were waiting for killers to find us every day.

>>If you're working a field and spot

a Tutsi woman in the bushes breastfeeding her baby,

don't waste a golden opportunity.

Pick up your gun, shoot them, chop the snakes in half.

Don't forget to kill the baby.

The child of a snake is a snake.

>>They went home by home to search,

to see if anyone was hiding.

And this was a group that was paid by the government, given

food, and drink, smokes.

The first time they came, I remember I was watching,

and I saw them through the tiny window of the bathroom.

The men circled the house so that no one jumps out

of the window, and then they started to scream.

They went in every room, they went under the beds,

they even opened suitcases to make sure there was no babies

hiding.

They went in the ceiling of the house

with flashlights to make sure no one is hiding in the ceiling.

They went on the roof of the house

to make sure no one is laying there.

I remember asking, if you are there, can control all this,

please don't let them find the door of the bathroom.

A thousand needles went through your body.

It was painful.

It wasn't a little fear, it was a lot.

Your life was about to be over.

You are about to be cut by machetes.

>>Where are the Tutsis?

>>No, no, no, don't know what you're talking about.

I'm a good Hutu.

I would never hide Tutsis, there are no Tutsis here.

I don't want any problem with the government.

You know me, I shall protect this house.

First those Tutsi rebels come in and attack me

for being such a good Hutu.

>>They came right to the door of the bathroom.

One of them touched the handle.

He told the man,

>>You know what?

I trust you.

You are a good man.

>>Oh, thank you.

>>You are one of us now.

>>I mean, when we saw him, we jumped.

We thought it was the killers finding us.

>>You're safe now.

You're lucky to be alive.

>>We were completely numb for the first five hours.

>>I don't know how you are praying,

or if you're even praying.

But whatever you're doing, please keep doing it.

>>You know, the feelings I had in that bathroom

were things I never experienced in my life.

I had anger, anger I cannot put in words.

I mean, sometimes people hate one person,

and that's bad enough.

I hated like eight million people.

And I remember thinking, when I got out,

I'm going to be a soldier, and I will

train my body, and muscles, and just kill everybody.

In my anger, I was Rambo.

In some movies I have seen, I was killing people.

With these thoughts I would be swearing out of anger.

And I'm sitting in the bathroom with these thoughts,

my head would be aching, and my stomach is aching.

Why my thoughts are provoking this poison?

I'm only thinking of things I want to do.

What is going on with my thoughts here?

>>It's very hard to remember love when we are scared.

Being afraid is one of the strongest

emotions in the world.

>>Our heart rate varies with each and every heartbeat.

And when we're frustrated, and anxious, and emotionally upset,

the rhythm of the heart becomes very incoherent and jagged.

And this basically creates a noise

in the system that drowns out the intuitive signals.

>>I remember thinking, this home has two bathrooms.

If they didn't have these two bathrooms,

how could we have been hidden here?

They would have find us.

It was only home that had two bathrooms inside the house,

and that made me feel good.

When I was thinking the good, it was so distinctive

because the feelings were so high you

can feel the difference like someone just pushed you

down and lifted you up.

Like it's so clearly.

And I started thinking, we can eat.

Thank God this man has children.

We can eat the leftovers, even if it was not much.

So I started to see the good, and it

was like my heart was open.

Look at these people, I can touch somebody.

Just to see the good in everything.

>>Appreciation is a heart related feeling.

It requires access to the intelligence

of the heart to appreciate, or to have gratitude.

>>And when I was thinking that way, I felt much smarter.

>>When we're in a coherent state,

the signal from the heart to the brain is so much stronger.

It gets up to our frontal cortex much clearer.

>>That's the heart knocking on your door,

saying, open the door, here I am.

You need me.

Because then you say, ooh, where am I?

I'm in hell.

I didn't know that.

But the heart tells you, trust me.

And when you're out of that--

>>It begins to shift the energies very, very quickly

so that you come into another level of buoyancy that

rises above the problem.

And in doing so, you can then see into it.

You can then find ways to deal with it.

>>They're coming back.

>>It was so clear in my heart.

This time they want to find you.

>>Pastor.

Push the wardrobe in front of the door.

They're not going to see there is a door.

>>No, no, why?

If they come, they'll realize it wasn't here.

>>I'm begging you.

>>OK.

OK, OK, I will put it.

>>And it was so clear that I need to listen to that.

They came to search.

>>Where is she, Pastor?

This is the last place she was seen.

We know she's here.

Immaculee!

>>One of them said, I've killed 399 cockroaches.

And he said, I want Immaculee to be the 400th.

And I'm thinking, this man, I knew him.

He was a school mate in elementary school.

Someone I can call a friend.

How can somebody say he killed 399 people by machete,

but he was proud?

They went right in the wardrobe.

They could have find us if that wardrobe was not there.

And later he said, good idea.

It wasn't even like I wanted to take credit, like oh good,

I had a good idea.

It was just like, keep listening.

Know how to distinguish that clarity that is not covered by

hate, by envy, by jealousy, by anything unloving.

That is really how it comes out.

It comes as a truth that you know

is not motivated by something not nice.

And the funny part, when they left,

the anger came right back.

It was just like a [INAUDIBLE] oil coming back

on the top of the water, like a veil I pulled in front.

I couldn't say, I couldn't think.

Oh, my body's aching again, and my headache.

But that's what you do when people are killing your people.

You get angry.

So I didn't even think there was another way to deal with this.

Despite the price I was paying with my own body,

I couldn't remember how to smile cause of anger.

I felt like my mouth was twisted.

I wished to be innocent again.

I wished to see good in people.

But for me, they were animals.

They were bad.

They were just evil people.

Every day I prayed about 200 our Lord's Prayer.

Any time I reached the part that said, forgive us our trespasses

as we forgive those who trespass against us, I couldn't say it.

>>Give us this day our daily bread.

Forgive--

>>Any time I went through that part it was like a red flag.

And then I said, how can I deal with it?

Because I can't forgive, because this is unforgivable thing.

They tried to kill me.

How do you forgive such a thing?

I wished I could, but it didn't make sense in my situation.

So one time I said, wait a minute, I have a better idea.

I thought, let me skip that part of the prayer.

So then I don't have to say it, then I can say the rest.

So then within me, God is OK, now he knows I'm not lying.

Lies don't sit well in the body.

And I start to skip it, and I felt so much better.

So I edited it, and now this voice says--

>>You are editing his prayer.

>>If I were you, I wouldn't try to edit his prayer.

You know, I can say this laughing today,

but that time my mood was crushed.

I remember it was like giving up, or can I call it surrender?

I went to my knees, and I put my hands up, and I begged God.

I'm going to put it back in prayer.

Because if you said pray this way, you must know

it is the right thing to do.

I'm putting it in your hands.

If you know how to forgive, help me out.

I am willing.

That was a big shift.

I remember they came to a point when it was like the world was

divided in two parts.

A part of love, and a part of hate.

In the part of love are people like Mandela,

like Mother Teresa, Gandhi.

People who suffered.

And no matter how much they suffered,

they still stand up for truth.

They still stand up for love, for defense

of another human being's rights.

And then on the side of hate, I see people like Hitler,

like those who were causing genocide in Rwanda who

are vengeful, angry, like me at that time.

And I felt like God was asking me, where do you want to stand?

Where do you want to belong?

Do you want to belong to side of love or the side of hate?

And guess what?

People who belong on the side of love,

they have known injustice.

They have known hate.

They have known how to be treated bad.

But it's your choice.

And I remember, it was so clear that I said,

of course I want to be with Gandhi, with Mandela.

I admire these people.

I admired Mother Teresa.

I want to be like them.

So what did they do?

They believed people can change.

That was a huge shift in my thinking in my body.

People do change.

And I remember thinking, wait a minute.

I don't think people can really change.

Now, wait a minute again.

Look at me, I'm changing with all these thoughts.

So when I realized that people actually do change,

people have the capacity to see things differently,

that's when I realized I can let it go.

I felt like I moved from the bathroom to a place of air.

That's how love felt in my body.

I couldn't smell nothing bad.

It was like I was floating.

And that was a paradise in my heart.

I thought about the killers, I should

have compassion towards them.

Imagine the person who killed 100 people, who

have took away fathers and mothers from their kids.

What are they going to become when they wake up one day

and they realize what they're doing?

Someone who begged them for life?

When we came out, it was like end of the world.

A million people and more was killed.

My mom, my father, my two brothers, my grandma

and my grandpa, neighbors.

My schoolmates, my best friends.

It was the end of the world.

Everywhere was their bodies.

But something have changed in my heart.

I was strong inside.

I was really ready to face life in a different way.

I'm a skeleton.

I'm 65 pounds.

But inside, I felt huge, I felt more beautiful.

I felt like everybody was just a gift of God,

and I just wanted to serve, to help, and to care.

For the first time I'm being grateful

for things I took for granted forever.

And I can say hi to somebody without anyone killing me.

And then I remember in evening, this nice wind.

The trees are moving, I can feel the wind in my body.

I didn't feel this for three months.

I can see the stars, I can see the moon,

and I don't have to pay for this.

Did I ever looked at the moon and said,

wow, nice to have the moon?

No.

It was overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation.

I wanted to scream to the whole world.

Do you see the beauty?

>>The mind can understand conceptually wholeness,

but only the hard can experience wholeness.

And the reward, if we can endure what we experience,

is that we don't just grasp oneness, we feel it.

>>Your head sees things as black or white, wrong

or right, bad or good.

Head is always touching, always off balance.

>>How long do I have to wait for it to be white again?

>>Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there.

The heart is much faster and wiser than the head.

In the eyes of the heart, black and white judgments

disappear because the heart is balanced by a deeper truth.

The great spirit spins together moments of profound beauty

that can only be experienced with the heart.

>>I am forever grateful for that bathroom.

To see where evil can take people,

but to see also where love can take people.

Just realize the weakness of people,

but the strength that is within each one of us.

To push me that far, to dig within my heart,

and to trust that instinct within.

>>And when you can give thanks for it all

and love without conditions, then you will be free.

That is the power of the heart.

>>Life is full of challenges.

Challenges and hardships often times

are the intense heat and fire that

break us open to discover gifts, talents,

and capacities within us that we would have never discovered

before.

>>So like a match that holds fire,

but until it strikes against something you have no flame.

By rubbing up against experience,

our heart comes aflame, and light and warmth come from us.

>>You can even be grateful for things

that you imagine that aren't any good for you.

That you imagine that you don't really want, or that you wish

you hadn't had to experience.

Even in those moments, masters say thank you to life,

thank you to God, thank you to the divine self

for this particular experience.

Because I know that before too long I

will see the extraordinary gift that

has been folded into this physical encounter.

>>Six months after the genocide, and people used to tell me,

you can't forgive this quick.

It's too quick to be happy.

You can't be smiling after what happened.

And that really kind of made me question a little bit

sometimes.

I said, am I happy and forgiving out of surviving mechanism?

Am I going to crush one day?

Which many people told me, on one day, if you see them,

you will go back to the anger.

I said, really?

Let me see.

So I went to prison to see the person who have killed my mom

and my brother, whom I would not have gone to meet him.

It didn't serve me one bit.

So I went there just to really see how I feel.

And I have learned the head of the jail

is a friend of my father who lost his wife

and like five children.

So I knew he would open the door for me.

>>You can hit him, you can do whatever

you want because I'm here now.

I will protect you.

So ease up your pain.

>>And he brought the man.

I remember him.

He used to be a teacher.

He was like a father to me.

He had kids my age.

I used to visit them, and have lunch with the family.

Now that's him who did that?

I just broke down and cried.

And I truly cried out of compassion

towards him and his family.

>>I forgive you.

I forgive you.

>>It wasn't like, oh, I planned to say these words.

There's something I wanted to express,

and I couldn't find words to say it fully.

I wanted him to be free from me.

Not to think, oh, she's mad at me.

You know, I can't do nothing.

I just wanted him to have a chance

to go through his own journey from his own heart,

not because somebody is angry at him,

or someone put him in a prison.

>>What is wrong with you?

>>And the head of the jail was so mad.

>>What is wrong with you, huh?

You do not know what he did to us?

You do not love your parents, huh?

You forget?

>>I forgot that the man was there,

and actually who lost his family, too.

And I really felt bad.

>>You forgive a killer?

What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with you?

>>Oh my God, why did I forgive him?

But I did, I wanted to.

I wanted to free him.

But it felt more like weakness, it

felt like-- somewhere I knew it was the right thing.

>>It's the most horrifying tale.

And yet she, and many people living through that genocide,

have found it in their hearts to forgive and to move on.

>>Forgiveness is everything.

When I think of forgiveness, I'm brought to weep with gratitude

that it exists.

>>Now, forgiveness doesn't mean that you're condoning

someone else's behavior.

This is a really important point.

Forgiveness merely means that you're

freeing yourself up from the energy blocks

that you're holding.

Those resentments that you're carrying.

>>There's a song, a Gospel song.

And it says, (SINGING)take your burden to the Lord

and leave them there.

Leave them there, oh, leave them there.

Take your burden to the Lord and leave them there.

If you trust Him, never doubt, he will surely bring you out.

Take your burden to the Lord and leave them-- now,

there is that, and there are people

that sing that with such fervor and such confidence.

And those are the same people who take their burden,

say there my burdens, and then they get up and take the burden

with them.

And they go-- [LAUGHS]

>>How can we connect with the heart?

Well, your starting point is all you ever have, this moment.

>>We are so busy all the time.

There's no time, no space, no silence for the heart.

>>Unless you actually can be out in nature,

and experience the birds singing, and the trees,

and the blue sky, you are divorced

from the great spiritual being that I feel is all around us.

And I've been so lucky to spend months and months on my own

in nature.

Then you can become a whole human

being with heart, and brain, and spirit, all

connected and whole.

>>That's why maybe people meditate or pray,

because they need that space, that moment when

you listen to the heart.

>>Every storm has a hole in the center the size of a navel

through which a gull can fly in silence.

>>And so you become calm.

You must become calm.

If you don't know what to do, do nothing.

Don't fill your time with trivia, simply do nothing.

Simply sit.

>>Breathe.

All the traditions speak about the value

of meditation, reflection, contemplation,

which all center on breathing.

Why?

Because breath restores us to the safety of the moment.

>>Now you want to breathe a little deeper and a little

slower than you normally would.

About a four or five second on the in-breath, and four or five

seconds on the out breath.

But you don't hold your breath, you just

get a nice rhythm, that pace, holding your tension

in the area of the heart.

>>Bring your awareness to your heart.

Bring your conscious awareness into your heart.

>>And you may be able maybe to hear.

>>I ask my heart all the time for guidance.

>>Your heart has a very good way to tell you whether you're

in a good path or not.

It's called enthusiasm.

>>I let in whatever's around me, and I

ask, where's the aliveness now?

>>When I'm playing with the kids, when I make love

to my husband, when I read a good book, when I'm writing

and I feel that the character becomes a person

and talks to me, then my heart also

feels fluttering, and with laughter, with joy.

Why everything has to be so serious?

>>It's very important to have fun.

Even the middle of something that you are doing that

requires a lot of discipline.

And so to connect to your heart, become a child.

>>My dear friend George came to Greece.

This guy is a billionaire.

And he is very big.

He started talking, and I said--

>>Listen.

If you want to talk with me, come with me.

>>I took him out in the central of Athens

where we have a trampoline.

>>We're not going to talk business unless you follow me

on the trampoline, man.

>>No, no, no, no.

>>Yes, yes, yes, together.

>>I'm not going on a trampoline.

>>You're a difficult guy to get undressed, man.

>>He came up on the trampoline for the first time in his life,

and we started jumping together, up and down, up and down.

140 kilos, no?

>>Hey, you could become a champion

if you train a little bit.

Next Olympic games, OK?

I will be your manager, man!

[LAUGHING]

Wow, what a good boy you are, man!

That's the way I like it!

>>He was so happy, like a little child.

The child is hidden.

Everybody's a child, even him, who is a billionaire.

>>And the child is saying, hello, I'm here.

But we think, oh, we are grown up,

we're not going to listen to this child.

Because this child has childish dreams.

And so we forget the child.

And from the moment that we forget the child,

we think the child is going to forget us.

No.

The child is not going to forget us.

This child will be here always, hello, I'm here.

I'm talking to you.

Can you listen?

And then we say, shut up.

I don't want to listen to you.

But the day that you're facing death,

this child will be there, and are going to ask you again,

why didn't you listen to me?

And then you have to answer.

And your answer will be your hell or your heaven.

>>The difference between being childish and childlike

is that being childish reduces our world and returns us

to being self-centered.

Being childlike returns us to wonder.

>>It's wonderful to be like a child

if you still can practice this.

When I'm in new places, or new cities, or new areas,

I'm as Alice in Wonderland.

Then the heart goes open again.

>>And then I feel my heart exploding.

You know, I feel the heat of the heart.

>>And it is wonderfully liberating and empowering

to be aligned with the heart, that which

underlies all creation.

And it is then that often you find helpful factors coming

into your life out of nowhere, and those

are synchronistic events that usually

are confirmation that you are connected to that deeper level.

>>Synchronicity this word that was created by Carl Jung.

When something appears to be a coincidence,

but you know that there's more to it than that.

>>For example, you get a phone call just at the right moment.

Something that becomes helpful factor,

and you cannot explain causally how that happened.

>>Synchronicity is a miracle.

The only thing that you can do is to be open to synchronicity.

>>It is as if a filter drops away,

and we notice that synchronicity is all around us.

That this isn't an accidental universe.

>>When we were waiting to hear from the doctors,

I had one of Christina's jackets.

And I reached into the pockets and I pulled out a fortune

from a fortune cookie.

We must always have old memories and young hopes.

And that was a sign for us that she was gone.

>>And immediately I just thought this was like--

>>A final message.

>>Her final message to us.

I mean, the old memories were the old memories with her,

with Christina.

And the young hopes, or the optimism, you know,

she was 21 years old.

She looked ahead to her whole life.

To me it was telling us that we have

to pick up where she left off, even though I'm not 21 anymore.

I have to adopt that philosophy and try

to live up to the young hopes for the future

that you can have, and that you can

make a difference in the world.

>>Synchronicity is largely due to intuition, where we end up

in the right place at the right time because

of that inner guidance.

In other experiments we've done, we

see that the heart can know the information about 20 seconds

before hand.

But in real life, our intuition's

not limited by these experimental protocols.

And I think we have to be careful not

to say that, well, intuition is only

20 seconds before an event.

Because we know in the real world,

it can be hours and sometimes even days

before an event actually occurs.

Most people instantly think about going to Las Vegas

and gambling or something.

If intuition really works as I'm suggesting,

it's really our own spirit working with us.

So it's not always in our best behalf from that interaction

between our higher self, or our soul,

whatever you want to call it.

Every culture has their own name for it.

That we go to Las Vegas and just win all the time.

So intuition is really our own best friend.

It's really the moment to moment inner guidance.

You know, when we get that feeling that something's

just not right, or we shouldn't do something.

Or it can be a positive feeling that we really

should do something, or go to a certain place.

>>I remember the day before the genocide happened.

My brother came home, he spent a day with his friends,

and he told us that he heard a rumor that they were going

to kill every Tutsi that night.

And we were, our family, on the list.

>>I cannot move the family just because you heard a rumor.

>>What if it's true, and in the morning--

>>Stop it.

No fear.

Just trust in God and forget about it.

What do you think?

>>We should move.

This is so important.

It's 10 minutes away, we can just take the boat,

and come back in the morning if nothing.

>>I know, but we must trust our father, too.

>>I know, you're right.

We should, right?

>>Because he always has good judgment.

>>We should.

>>It was so clear in my heart that my decision was

to move away from the country.

By the morning, it was too late.

They had blocked all the borders.

That lesson completely changed my heart forever.

Now when I have that feeling, I do listen to my heart,

no matter who is saying what.

I have to listen to my heart.

>>Well, if you don't trust the heart,

what are you going to trust?

>>I believe the heart is the only thing we can trust.

>>When we get to the point where we have experienced

this transformation within ourselves, where

living from love rather than fear

has transformed our own life circumstances,

then we become channels, we become vessels.

We have the moral authority by which

to state that possibility for the planet.

>>Just before she passed, I was telling her

that I'd been off work for a couple of years,

and we retired.

And I was kind of looking for something

meaningful to do with the rest of my life,

because I was still young.

And she said, oh, something will come along.

You'll know it when it comes along.

And when she passed, I knew instantly

that we had to continue her work.

And so we started the foundation, the Christina

Chesterman Memorial Foundation, to just build on the legacy

that she left already.

>>As you live from the heart and more humans

begin to live from the heart, that has a ripple effect.

It ripples out from where you are, and then you get it back.

>>Every day you work at it.

Every day you go to the heart.

Every day you speak to me.

>>In fact, I start each morning with what

we call a heart lock in.

Just getting coherent and really sending myself

love and appreciation for a few minutes,

to start my day from a more coherent,

composed, and connected perspective.

Then throughout the day you've got to kind of reboot that.

So really it's developing kind of a flow through life.

So all the in-between moments, as I call them.

Like in between here and the lunch room,

or between here and the photocopier.

Those in-between moments are perfect opportunities

to breathe in that appreciation, or that state of inner ease.

I mean, we have to breathe anyway,

so we might as well make it more effective.

>>And if we can calm down enough,

we can listen to the wisdom.

We learn how to be good neighbors, good visitors.

How to be good parents.

How to be good workers, good teachers.

We learn how to be good citizens.

Good human beings.

Because we listen.

And not try to put our voices in it.

Just listen.

>>The heart is my guru.

For all gurus I've met, this one is the real one.

>>Ask your heart any question.

Who am I?

What do I want?

What's my purpose in life?

What are the qualities that I look for in a good friend?

What are the qualities that I contribute to

in a good relationship?

What are my unique skills and talents?

How do I use this to serve humanity?

Your heart knows all the answers.

>>I still feel lost.

I don't know what to do with my life anymore.

>>Take the question to your heart.

>>I have been.

I'm not getting any answers.

>>You're thinking, it's harder than it really is.

Just follow that lightness in your heart,

and that will eventually lead you to a life of purpose.

Some of the biggest questions of the heart unfold as a path,

not an answer.

>>Following our aliveness without attaching

what it will become.

Not to become a poet, but I'm brought alive

by the questions and the life of expression.

Not to become a singer, but to be brought alive

by voice coming out of you.

>>We begin to connect from our center and not just

from surface personality.

It's a whole different way of moving through the world.

And when one moves through the world like this,

and when we begin to move through the world like this,

then the realm of ever expanding good-- another name

for heaven-- begins to be revealed on our planet.

>>We cannot see tomorrow's sky, but the heart sees it.

And we will be directed as to how we

should act in tomorrow's sky.

More than likely, we already know.

But if we don't, the heart will tell us, if we listen.

>>This is for you, sweetheart.