Original subtitles

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a love kiss stay in my memory?

If you need me, call me.

No matter where you are.

No matter how far. Excuse me.

Could you direct me to the police house?

Two stops. Come look till we see you right.

On that you can depend and never worry.

Oscar, what's the toast to think?

Bill!

I don't know how I manage without you.

Neither do I.

How do you sleep?

Oh, much better, thanks.

Would you mind if I stayed on for another couple of nights?

Why, no, of course not. Who's looking after the dog?

Well, he went back to Albert Fogarty.

I don't think he could stand the atmosphere.

Makes two of us. Well, there's always a place for you here, you know that.

In fact, why don't you just move back? Rent out the cottage.

Wouldn't you mind?

Don't be daft. Have a word with the estate agent.

Yeah, I will.

You know, the way our district nurse was cosying up to that doctor friend of

hers. She might soon be looking for something bigger. Hey, I do the idle

round here.

Morning. Sorry to disturb you. Oh, when they're open, yes.

Is this a bad moment? I detect a culinary crisis.

Bent over.

I thought so.

I'm Ralph Spurling, and I'm trying to locate an Oscar Blaketon.

Oscar? A Mr Spurling for you.

Mr Blaketon.

Oh, hello.

This isn't an inspection video by the brewery, is it?

Oh, no, no.

My interest is not in your pint -pulling prowess, Mr Blaketon, but in your

skills as a private investigator.

for which you have been highly recommended.

Oh, really?

Well, who am I to argue with that?

Oscar the Toast!

Excuse me.

Hello?

Hello. Is a PC weather being?

Oh, sorry, no.

Oh, I was told he lived here. Well, there's been a change of plan.

Are you a friend of his?

Yes, good friend.

Oh, come in.

I thought he was dead set on coming here.

Well, there was an incident, a serious one, that left us a man shot at

State. Don accepted the job there.

Not a promotion, then? No.

Oh, well, he wouldn't like that.

Well, he'd still have been a constable even if he was stationed here.

Your own place, though, isn't it? Your own beat.

That's what he'd be after.

Anyway, no doubt he'll tell you about it himself.

If it's of any interest, I'm meeting him at the Aidensfield Arms later.

Well, thank you.

But I'd really like to see him sooner.

I really believe Dave knew he said.

Yeah, the bus stop's just close by. You can't miss it.

Thank you.

There we are.

Thank you.

So, fire away.

A little over a year ago...

I was a guest at a wedding in a hotel near Whitby, and I stayed overnight at

hotel where the reception was held.

The next day, I got back to my home in York to find I'd been burgled.

Well, someone obviously knew that you were away. Exactly.

And I not only lost items of monetary worth, but many of sentimental value as

well. You weren't short.

Oh, of course.

But the insurance company refused to compensate me fully for the loss due to

contributory negligence. Oh?

They said I'd left a window open.

Had you?

Well, there was certainly one open when I got home.

But no sign of forced entry.

I suppose I counted myself lucky they paid out something.

But then, purely by chance, I bumped into someone who'd stayed at the same

on a golfing weekend, and they'd got home to find they'd been burgled in the

same way.

No forced entry? No, and the police concluded that access had been gained

through an open window.

So, uh, what would you like me to do?

I think that someone in that hotel was somehow involved.

And I'm as angry now as I was at the time of the robbery.

And I'll pay you as much as you need to bring the culprit to book.

Morning, Iris.

You're early.

Just a bit.

I'll put the kettle on.

I don't usually submit bills so soon after the funeral.

It's been more than six weeks, Bernard.

I know, but it's not seemly to rush the bereaved.

You're very thoughtful, Bernard.

But I'm not one for shedding tears.

You know that ours was a late marriage of convenience.

And since Jim's left me so comfortably off, paying the funeral bills are the

least I can do.

Thank you.

That's... I was looking forward to your coming.

I thought perhaps you and me... Yes?

I thought we might go out for a meal together, if you had the time.

Oh, well, yes.

Yes? Yes, well, you know, well, Irish, it's a very nice idea, but so soon after

Jim's funeral...

It's not really on, is it?

Oh.

Well, I'm an affiliated undertaker, you see, position of trust codes of conduct

and all that. I mean, to the idle observer, it might seem as if I were

advantage of your situation.

Yes. Well, I suppose it would be.

But at our age, Bernie, should we really care? Well, we have the business to

run, Iris, a reputation to keep.

Then suppose I arrange it further afield.

Out of the reach of local gossip.

What do you say?

Lost.

Just for the moment, Sarge.

Good morning.

Hello. Is PC Weatherby in?

Yes, he's in.

In deep and still digging.

Got it, Sarge. Good.

Someone to see you.

What are you doing here?

Are you pleased to see me?

In here.

There's trouble there.

Why didn't you say you were leaving?

Not even a forwarding address?

After everything we've been through.

I heard I'd find you Aidensfield.

Who told you?

Little Bird.

Look, why have you come here, Leslie?

You know why.

No, I don't know.

I've told you to stay away from me. Yeah, well, I've tried and it doesn't

Oh, for pity's sake. I'm sorry.

It just doesn't... Then make it work!

Still blind, are you?

Look, I'm a married man, Leslie.

She doesn't care. You said that yourself.

Yes, well, things have changed.

Now I'm telling you to go back, get some help.

But you're the only help I need.

No.

No, I'm not.

This job is a clean break for me, a new start, and you could ruin it.

Why haven't you a job at Aylandsfield?

Something happened.

And you were demoted?

Not exactly.

You know, if I'd been here, they wouldn't have dared. This is nothing to

you. It is not done.

Let's go.

Now!

Geoff, I've just got to nip out. Pull before me.

Right. What did I tell you?

You could at least talk to me.

I've nothing more to say.

I could catch the one after this.

Change your pickering.

Get on.

Not even a good pipe.

And let this be an end to it.

Mr Lambert.

Oh, Bernard Scripps.

I've had a look at the car and made a few adjustments.

And what it needs now is a bit of a run. Yes, to make sure we've ironed out the

problems.

Me?

Well...

If you don't need it straight away, perhaps I could find the time.

I'll call you in a day or two.

should be fine.

Well, we serve breakfast from 7 .30.

Do you know Aidenfield?

No. No, I don't. It seems like a lovely area.

Well, it's a bit quiet for some.

Well, to me, it feels like the perfect place to settle down.

That's why I'm here.

To look for a cottage near my other home.

All right.

So how long do you think you'll be staying, then?

Well, just as long as it takes, really.

All right.

How are you coping?

The only way I know how.

Might keep him busy.

Hiya, Alf.

Evening.

Where's Oscar?

I've been summoned.

He's in the back room.

What are you having?

Oh, savoury pennies. I might get one on my house.

So are you still keeping clear of the cottage?

Yeah, more or less.

It's funny, though. We've got someone down here who's looking for one.

A cottage?

Yeah, and I might just dabble on some left.

Oh, is she here? Hiya. Hiya.

Hello again.

Oh, you've met?

Yeah. Called at the police house earlier, expecting to find Don there.

Don? Don Weatherby.

Right.

So your client left personal valuables overnight in the hotel safe?

Yes, in an envelope, including his house keys.

He was told that was safer than leaving them in his room.

Well, that makes sense.

Hotel rooms are notoriously accessible.

Didn't do much for Mr Spurling, though, did it? He's convinced his keys were

taken and used to break into his house.

Oh, they got his address from the hotel register.

Precisely. Anyway, I'm going to test out his theory.

You see, Spurling's brother -in -law is Sir James Atherley, and he and

Spurling's sister own that big house.

You know the one? Just outside Ashfordly. Oh, I know it. The one with

rampant at the gate.

That's the one.

Anyway, Sir James and his wife are now on holiday abroad, so I thought I would

check into that hotel near Whitby in his name while they were away.

You're going to impersonate Sir James Atherley.

Not too big a stretch, is it?

Oh, Gina, it looks so lovely.

They're going to book home with me.

Yeah, well, we thought so.

It was down to the ground.

Oh, hey, Don.

Uh, Don.

Hiya. What's up?

You didn't tell me you had a bit on the side.

What are you on about?

The game's up, mate.

In here.

I've just been.

Yeah, so go again.

What's going on here?

Nightmare. Total nightmare.

She's making out like she's a girlfriend of yours. Oh, the hell she is.

She is a pet.

A minute.

A mad...

Thick woman.

Look, mate, I've had my ups and downs with the opposite sex. All she meant to

was a case number.

Her husband was beating her up. I stepped in, kept her safe, supported her

bringing the bloke to court.

Her white knight, eh? No, I was just doing my job.

There were no enemies.

She wouldn't leave me alone.

You told her you were married.

Yeah, it made no difference.

She called me at all hours. In person, on the phone, at the station, at my

place. The missus went crazy.

It's the main reason I wanted the move.

You've got to help me get out of here.

How?

Keep her at the bar while I make a getaway.

All right.

Right.

What can I get you, Leslie?

I'm fine, thanks.

Where's Don?

Oh, he'll be with us in a minute.

You look like you've seen a ghost.

Yeah, well, look, are you sure I can't freshen up that glass?

Come on, you'll be out soon.

Something smells exotic.

Sure, got to go then.

You said you'd get something from the chippy.

Well, I had more time than thought.

Shall I do the honours? Oh, yeah, if you will. Oh, I'll be back in a sec.

The bird of course grew in the door.

So you deposit Sir James's key at the hotel for safekeeping.

Meanwhile, I lie low at his place and raise the alarm at the first sign of

an intruder. No, no, no, not you, Al.

Spurling stands guard at Sir James's.

Oh. Now, to make my pose more credible, I need you with me.

As an acquaintance? No, my chauffeur.

And caddy.

This is Chris Oakley.

Hello.

Hi. Knee injury.

Looks like you need stitches, don't you think?

I don't mean to ruin your evening.

I try three or four.

Would you do it? She doesn't want a nasty scar there. No, no, no, no. How

your nimbler fingers?

She's very good.

Come through.

Great girl, Carol.

Yeah, yes, she is.

Not a bad cook, too, by the smell of it.

Yeah, yeah, it's hard to spot a weakness, really.

Let's hope it's for Doctor.

Left it off?

What do you think?

Yes? No?

Well, I promise to do some gardening if I took any time. Oh, forget the

gardening. This is a money, no object job.

Fair enough.

But there's one part of the plan I'm not really happy about.

Told you. You've gone way over the top.

It's my brother -in -law to a T.

Oh, thank you. I'm shocked.

Well, how did you know?

Oh, well, we do our research very thoroughly, Mr. Sperling.

Oh, yes, of course. Even so, Mr. Ventress is very keen to learn.

So if there's anything you can tell him... Well, then follow me to the

Mr. Ventress.

Oh, right.

Perhaps you could buff up the roller while I'm gone.

I think you can drop the Jeeves and Wooster routine when we're not actually

public. Do what suits you best, Oscar.

I prefer to stay in character.

Come in.

Miss Ashton, please. Thank you.

Please, take a seat, Mr. Preston.

I understand you wish to make a complaint against one of my officers.

Yes. P .C. Weatherby.

Would you care to explain?

He tried to run me down with his car.

To run you down?

Yes. Last night outside the Aidensfield Arms.

Go on.

Well, Don and PC Weatherby and me, we've been close for a while.

I don't know what got into him.

I think it's because he saw me talking to one of his friends in the pub.

We were very possessive like that.

When I went outside to try and reason with him...

He drove his car straight at me.

Straight at you? You're sure about that? Yes.

I managed to just jump clear at the last minute and ended up in a heap on the

ground.

His friend came to help me up.

And do you have the name of this friend?

Yes, he's another one of your officers, P .C. Mason.

Were you injured at all?

Gas knee and a few bruises where I fell.

the peaceful waters of the ocean deep and blue.

I held my breath and watched the western sun set golden heels.

I've flown above the mountain peaks and valleys wide and green. But you're the

nearest thing to heaven that I've seen.

Well, thank you.

What's up with you?

You've got a face like a twisted plinthole.

I said there'd be trouble.

What's he on about?

Later.

We'll be in touch.

You've been very kind, thank you.

Wetherby, my office.

You too, Maiden.

Right, Wetherby.

You first, Sergeant.

I take it that you know Miss Ashton?

Yes, Sergeant.

And that you were with her at the agency dance that night? Not with her,

exactly.

Well, I just sort of bumped into her. Really?

Well, that's exactly what she says.

That outside the pub you bumped into her by deliberately driving your car at

her. What?

That didn't happen.

No. She didn't end up in a heap on the ground?

Well, yes.

And that's how you left her?

I suppose so. If I could just have a chance to explain.

Go ahead.

And it better be good.

This is Sonia, his first wife.

She was a little too glacial for my brother -in -law's taste.

Obviously a man who knows how to enjoy himself.

Oh, yes.

Fun doesn't wait long in the wings when Sir James is about.

Guns, golf, gals, not necessarily in that order.

Oh, he rode to Ham until he took a tumble.

Still a touch lame in the right fetlock.

Oh, I'll make a note of that.

Oh, will you excuse me?

Someone for you, Sir James.

Wrong door.

Try the back.

Spot on.

Are you trying to tell me that this attractive young woman is fixated on

Yes, Sergeant.

Well, let's say there's no accounting for taste, but I find that very hard to

believe.

I wish it weren't true, but it is. What about you, Mason?

Did you see PC Weatherby drive his car at her? No, Sergeant. So you can't tell

me what happened one way or the other.

Well, Miss Ashton has made a very serious allegation, and it will have to

investigated. You're not going to suspend me, Sergeant?

No, not yet.

Not officially.

But just so I know what I'm dealing with, when you were handling her case in

North Ellerton, did you ever give her any encouragement?

Encouragement? Any reason for her to believe that you had feelings for her?

No, Sergeant.

I'll be talking to your old station sergeant to check your story.

Does she know where you're lodging?

Probably. Then you'd better find somewhere else for a couple of days.

I want you to make yourself very scarce indeed.

Yes, Sergeant.

Thank you, Blakert.

Morning, James.

Morning.

Hello.

I believe you have a reservation.

The name's Atherley.

Indeed we do, Sir James. Welcome to the East Lynx Hotel.

Take Sir James' luggage straight to his suite.

I'll leave Miss Mills to do the formalities.

I hope you enjoy your stay with us, Sir James. I'll do my very best.

Everything all right, Sir James?

Perfectly. Your key.

Oh, thank you.

Would you like me to sign in? That won't be necessary, O'Donoghue. Sir James,

that's a leave plus one.

Ah. You'll find your room along the rear ground floor corridor and down the

stairs.

In other words...

The basement.

Go and get rid of the tackle, and then we'll take a turn around the links.

Maybe have a paddle.

Have you asked about your valuables, Sir James? I was just about to do that.

How secure are your rooms, miss?

As secure as possible, but we do advise guests to use our safe deposit facility

just as an extra precaution.

There you are.

He does so like to make a fuss.

Well I'll...

You can take those off now, Bernie.

Nobody you know is likely to be staying here.

Be a dear and fetch me my vanity case, would you?

Well,

first of all, Blackers,

What do we do now? We don't know him. Just walk.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

Hello.

In return for my generosity in hiding you here, you might want to catch up on

some of my paperwork.

Don't make so.

Thanks anyway.

Do you know anything about body language?

The telltale signs when someone's lying, for example.

Oh, yeah, like when they touch their nose, you mean. Yeah, other people blink

more. Like you. Me.

I noticed when Miller asked if you'd offered Leslie Ashton any encouragement.

Are you saying I lied to her?

Look, I gave her protection and support, that's all.

But you met her on a one -to -one basis.

On occasions, yes.

She needed help.

And company, no doubt.

Look, I did not encourage her.

You're blinking again.

Oh, it's up to you, mate.

I want her back.

That's all anyone needs to know.

Hey, shift yourself.

She's in the road outside.

Coming here?

Probably. Move.

Get up there.

What the devil? Shut up. Oscar, what are you doing? Just shut up and get in.

What are you doing here, Bernie?

Minding me own business. What business is that? Widow chasing?

I beg your pardon? Perhaps we should warn her.

About what?

You didn't tell her you knew us.

No. What on earth's going on? Why are you in fancy dress?

We're on a job. We're incognito.

Alf is impersonating Sir James Hathaway.

And this here is my chauffeur.

And you've never seen us before.

Understood?

That's it?

For the moment.

Thank you.

Did you get rid of the cobwebs?

I sort of.

Well, we're all booked in for dinner, bed and breakfast.

Bed? And breakfast.

I thought we were just in for the evening meal.

Don't fuss, Bernard.

You might read him thoroughly.

I haven't come prepared.

No problem.

I brought a pair of Jim's pyjamas, just in case.

Jim's pyjamas?

I'm in room 35.

You're along the corridor in 40.

Why don't you freshen up?

This way, madam.

He told me he was going to leave his wife.

He promised.

And you start here for the two of us.

Oh, now it's all gone wrong.

What happened outside the pub, it was just a heat of the moment thing. I know

didn't mean it.

If you could fix it for us to meet, I'm sure we could sort things out.

I'm not sure I can do that. Well, do it for him, not me.

I promised to withdraw the complaint if you could just get him to meet me in the

pub tonight.

I'll do what I can, but I can't promise. Thank you.

Okay.

Does she know I'm here?

I don't think so.

What does she want? She says she'll do a deal.

If you meet her in the pub tonight, she'll withdraw her complaint.

Oh, straight up.

You'd be mad to even consider it.

Well, better to stay in hiding.

Caring in the face of a deranged woman. Correct.

Perhaps if we met just once more, you as Minder, get myself off the hook. Forget

it. It's the quickest way.

Yeah, the quickest way to get on the wrong side of Miller.

Yeah. Just forget it.

Goodbye.

Ah, Sir James, pleasant walk?

Ah, marvellous. My wife is currently toasting herself on the French Riviera.

Oh, very nice. Well, she's welcome to it. Give me a stiff North Sea guster any

day. What do you say, Blakers?

Oh, I'm with you, Sir James.

Could I trouble you for a safe deposit envelope?

Of course.

One moment, please.

Perhaps you'd like to see the dinner menu, Sir James.

Ah.

Thank you.

Your chauffeur might like to eat downstairs with the staff.

You hear that, Bakers?

I heard.

Ah, house keys.

They're always so troublesome when you're away on holiday. Oh, quite.

Well, I'll be down to dinner about 7 .30.

A table is reserved.

Oh, splendid.

Tops, meat you want to spit, don't you?

You keep well in with him, it'll be well worth your while.

Yes? More money than cents, he has.

By a large margin.

Ah, thank you, my darling.

Oh, when, when?

You make me look grifty.

It doesn't seem right, Iris. So soon after Jim's gone, it seemed like we were

celebrating. Jim wouldn't begrudge me this, you know.

He liked me to have nice things.

Not to exist, it's true.

And now he's gone.

I've no need to hold back.

I'm sure I know that man.

Which man?

The moon dining on his own.

Oh, I don't think so.

Louis' knight of the realm, I think.

What's on dole?

It's coming to me.

Another toast.

What to?

Joanne.

Hannah.

Joanne.

Got it.

Alventris. I've met his wife.

Excuse me.

Yeah?

Phone call for you.

Oh, right.

Thanks.

Hello?

I'll have a slice of that one.

No, no. I'll have a slice of the Pavlova cake.

Excuse me.

Just had a corner of the house. I'm on my way. Call Mason. I'll need backup.

Oh, dear.

I'll have a slice of each, perhaps.

Hello,

Alf.

Do you have an address?

Uh -huh.

Leave it with me.

I've got to go out.

Report of an intruder.

Want any help?

No, thanks.

Don't answer the door or the phone.

Just keep your head down, okay?

Excuse me.

Yes? Iris would like you to join us for coffee.

I'm sorry.

Does the lady know me?

Unfortunately, she does, Alf.

Oh. We're not letting on.

Good evening, Dr. James.

Do take a seat.

Operation Hush -Hush.

I had to promise Bernard all manner of things before he'd spill the beans.

Is that so?

You mustn't think the worst of him.

He's been such a dear since my husband passed on.

Oh, really?

In fact, I want to give you something by way of thanks.

Something of Jim's. Oh, really, Iris, you mustn't. I can't accept gifts.

Bernard. For me?

I won't hear of a refusal.

Back in a moment.

This is not how it looks.

From where I'm sitting, it's in 3D.

Do you make a habit of this?

What? Bringing widows on dirty weekends.

Something wrong, madam?

I hope not.

What's going on? What happened?

Not much.

False alarm.

False alarm?

Blakeson, I am most terribly sorry.

Major cock -up, I'm afraid. Courtesy of yours truly.

It turned out that the intruders were my sister and brother -in -law.

They came back early from their holiday.

Philly mare broke her leg in a fall.

She's inside with a pot on now, feeling very sorry for herself.

I see.

I can't seem to find my house keys.

I've looked everywhere.

Don't worry, Iris, they'll turn up. I'll look in the car, shall I? I think I

left them in the safe deposit envelope at reception.

You left your house keys at the desk?

Well, I think I did.

Look lively, Bernie.

What? I need a driver. Where are we going?

To Iris' place. No time to explain, just move.

Iris, get on the phone to Ashfordly Police Station and tell them to send

round to your address pronto.

Right. Yes, right away.

Best Samhain show.

Must have certainly brought home the bacon for us.

Some cash here?

How much?

You want me to count it now?

The

lights

were on.

Perhaps she left them on.

How many of them are there, do you think?

How should I know?

Suppose they're armed.

Stop whimpering.

It's all right for you. You're combat trained. Someone's coming.

In here.

I've just had this suit cleaned and dressed.

Belt up.

It's just two of them.

Two more than I was hoping for.

Stay. All

right, come

on. Let's get back.

Are you going to open?

Yeah.

Please. I haven't got them. Be sure.

What the hell have you done with them? Have you dropped them in one of the

Hold on.

Well, well.

I think someone's playing a little game on us.

Stupid old git.

Never mind. These lads will give you a lift.

Morning. Morning.

You were late last night.

Yes, we were celebrating.

Oh, yeah. Job done.

Yes, but not quite the way I expected. Still one more.

Satisfied customer, nonetheless.

You know, the couple that had robbed him were a husband and wife team, just one

job away from skipping the country and opening their own B &B in Spain.

Has our guest been down yet?

Yeah, but she didn't touch her breakfast.

I think she's still a bit upset.

She sat in the bar all night waiting for Don Weatherby to show up.

Oh.

Don!

Yeah?

Pass me off to the station.

I'll call it the pub on the way. See if I can get the lady from Leslie Ashton.

You haven't had one of my knives, have you?

No. Well, it was there last night.

Morning. Hiya.

Oscar. Oh, hi, Jo.

I don't suppose Leslie said anything about Don Weatherby?

He doesn't talk about anyone else.

Still going ahead with his complaint?

Yeah, as far as I know.

Copper's nightmare, that one. Is she in at all?

No, she went out early.

Have you lost something?

Yeah, one of me knives is missing.

I'm sure it was there last night.

Leslie? Leslie?

Leslie, it's all right.

Come on.

Give me the knife.

Let this be a lesson to you.

I'm not convinced by your conduct.

I believe you became personally involved with this woman.

If it hadn't been for Mason, things could have been much worse.

At least now she can get the necessary care and treatment.

You've not exactly covered yourself in glory since you've been here, have you?

No, Sergeant.

No.

Well, perhaps when your family settled here.

You can wipe the grate clean and start again.

Thanks.

So Oscar wasn't actually there when you caught the burglar? No.

A technicality, that's all. I masterminded the operation. I was just a

soldier. Even if he was wearing a cravat and a monocle. Oh, don't forget Bernie.

Bernie? What was he doing there? Well, ask him yourself.

What's this, Bernie?

What have you been up to?

Come on, out with it, you dark horse. Whatever's been said, it's a lie.

She dropped me in it. I didn't sleep in her husband's pyjamas. And in any case,

we were booked into separate rooms.

Well, that's all very intrepid.

Have you arranged to meet her again, then, Bernie?

Not likely. I just want to be left in peace.

Oh, just as well, perhaps, Bernie.

Looks like you've missed your chance.

I think she's traded you in for a younger model.

Never mind, Bernie.

Nunc es bibendum.

What's that?

Latin. It means next time, if the pyjamas fit.

Wear them.

What if we've been targeted?

Followers of the dark arts are always looking for a quiet rural church where

they can hold a black man. What are you going to do with me?

He'd seen the devil and they took him off to hospital in an ambulance. I'm not

trying to be his ring. Bloody doctors.

Well, I've had a lot of people gossip about me in my time. Usually it's small

-minded rubbish.