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Now, Luke, I'm telling you, the graphics on Chainsaw Duel are amazing.
Okay, now, to attack, you press that button.
Oh, I just crossed. Get your leg off.
Bill,
Bill.
Swimsuit edition of Psychology Today.
And there's a postcard for you, Luke, from your dad.
You're not going to read it?
These postcards are all the same.
It's always a picture of the world's biggest something.
A trout the size of an RV, a four -story corndog.
You ever write them back?
And send it where?
Well, that is the biggest radish I have ever seen.
I think you ought to take a look at this, Luke.
I'm sorry, Dr. C. Did you say something?
Looks like your dad's coming here to see you.
Show me that smile again. Show me that smile.
Don't waste another minute on your crying.
We know we're near. We know we're near. The best is ready too.
not going to kidnap Luke and take him to some foreign country and have plastic
surgery done so we don't recognize him.
That's just the chance we're going to have to take.
Am I ever a pretty that Luke is looking forward to seeing his dad?
Isn't he here yet?
See? I want to get this over with.
I'm sure he's going to be here any minute now. He's got that big truck to
with. Yeah, he can't exactly park his 18 -wheeler in front of our house.
He's going to try to parallel park that big rig. He's not going to make it.
Trust me, he's not going to make it.
Made it.
Hello,
everybody. I'm George.
Hi, George.
Hey, Luke.
Oh, uh, come in. Come in.
I can't believe you drove your truck here.
Ah, well, the valet at the Ritz -Carlton wouldn't take it.
Oh, look, why don't you introduce me to your foster family?
Uh, this is Dr. Seaver.
Doctor!
Psychiatrist. No shame in that.
And you must be Mrs. Seaver. Oh, George, it's very nice to meet you. Excuse me,
but you have the most gorgeous movie star skin I have ever seen.
Oh, George, that's a load of hooey.
But Jason, take notes.
That is our daughter, Chrissy.
Pleased to meet you.
Ma 'am.
Mike isn't red.
It's, uh, my son Mike. You know Mike.
Hey, uh, yeah, good to see you, George.
It's a shame you can't stay long.
Well, uh, actually, I do have a couple hours to kill before I deliver these
tomatoes to this cat away.
I thought maybe we could go grab some breakfast.
I already ate.
It's my family.
I brought you something, a little memento of your mother.
God rest her soul.
Wow, George, you came all this way just to deliver something to Luke you could
have dropped in the mail? Well, some things are too important to stick in the
mail, like these snapshots of me and Luke and his mom.
Mike, do you want to help me straighten the picture over here on this wall?
No. That wasn't a question.
It's of your first birthday.
Your mom and I took you to see the world's biggest radio tower.
Thanks.
I'll look at them later.
Dad, is Mom making spaghetti for about 8 ,000 people?
No, George Prouder.
Love that postcard from Bikini Beach.
Those were the biggest... Ben.
You're looking good, big buddy.
Hope the babes think so. I've got the most incredible party tonight.
Ben, do you want to come over here and help me and Mike straighten out the
pictures?
He wasn't a question.
Luke, I'm not here just because of the snapshots.
After Jersey, I'm cutting through the Blue Ridge Mountains where the fireflies
dance like a thousand shooting stars.
What do you say you keep your old man company?
Look, I thought I told you I don't want to go live with you.
I'm not trying to take you away from these fine people.
I just thought you might like a couple of weeks to get to know your dad better.
What, work our way up to being strangers?
I won't push it.
Well, I appreciate your hospitality. It's time for me to haul my tomatoes out
here.
I'll just leave you a crate of Mother Nature's finest juicy reds, and I'll be
my way. Well, thanks anyway, George, but we couldn't possibly accept.
Oh, Mike, free tomatoes.
Oh, okay. Well, thanks, George.
Well, the crate's on... It's on the porch.
All right, that was short and sweet.
I have 47 muscles in the back, and every single one of mine is doing the Watusi.
It's kind of interesting. Don't you think, George, that your back went out
as you were getting ready to leave?
Hey, look out! A tarantula!
A trapdoor or a funnel web species?
No, just an old hairball.
What are you doing?
I was just testing.
All right, we got a perfect three -course meal.
Iced emo group beer, pork rinds, and a...
I bet you that looks good, doesn't it, George?
Can't wait to just dig in, huh? Can't wait.
Uh, if you could, uh, just scoot that right over here.
Thank you. Now I can almost see that food.
Here's a friend of mine, Dr. Kramer.
Hello, George.
Ten bucks says it's nothing serious.
Looks like your back is in bad shape.
Turns out pretty nose knobby knees are yours.
Get in my office this afternoon.
I need to take some x -rays.
Oh, just a back spasm. It'll clear itself right... Oh, sweet jelly bean on
-gut potato.
This will take the edge off his pain.
This will take the rot -gut out of his potato.
I don't have time for x -rays.
I got a truckload of tomatoes that's got to be in Jersey by tonight.
Well, I wish we could help out, George, but we don't know anyone who could drive
a truck that size.
Are you sure you can handle this thing?
Hey, it's a lot easier than driving that clinic bus full of screaming children.
Tomatoes don't try to pants you at the intersection.
Can't we do it faster?
Dad, what if I'm not back in time for the party? Oh, come on. It's a three
trip each way, Ben. You're going to make it in plenty of time. I'm going at a
decent speed.
Then how come there's a pregnant cow passing us on the right?
Come on, Ben, relax.
The reason I drafted you for this is I thought it would be a nice outing for
and me.
Well, if the matching hats were a nice touch.
All right, why don't we make up some names and we'll talk CB talk, all right?
Maybe later. I don't want to peep too soon.
What do you want your handle to be?
Son of big hair.
You haven't touched your lunch.
Well, your buddy Mike keeps putting it just...
you want to know i never saw one from the inside yeah well a lot of us have
tough breaks uh play any sports look i got things to do oh come on look
please god tell me how
to get through my son you uh you talking to somebody george oh no no just uh
thinking with my mouth
You know, they say the jaw muscles are the strongest in the whole body, but
after 25 years on the road, I say it's the gluteus maximus.
That's Latin for big butt.
Yeah, I know. I teach French.
Hey, come on, George. Get going and get those x -rays.
No need.
I'm feeling much better.
Yeah, right.
Right. You know, George, you really should have said that you had something
wouldn't show up on an X -ray, like whiplash or hoof -and -mouth disease.
That bad first impression burned you deep, didn't it?
Not half as deeply as it burned Luke.
So I see.
Mike, I spent 25 ,000 miles thinking about it.
The thing is, Luke is my blood.
I never got to know my dad until it was too late. I don't want that to happen to
Luke.
Yes, thank you for calling.
I can't believe this, George.
Pretending he's hurt to get on Luke's good side.
He's not pretending, Mike.
What? That was Dr. Kramer.
He's spoken to George's doctor.
George's back has deteriorated to the point where if he doesn't stop driving
truck, he's going to be paralyzed.
The doctors call it cervical deterioration.
I call it a pain in the neck.
Well, what are you going to do when you stop driving?
Who's going to stop driving?
Well, George, the doctors say if you don't, you're going to be paralyzed.
Oh, they don't know nothing.
They told my friend Billy Bobby he had three and a half months to live. He
four and a half months.
George, what's so hard about changing jobs?
With an eighth grade education?
Maybe I could be a Supreme Court justice.
I only know three things.
That's trucks, trucks, and trucks.
Well, I'm sure there's other jobs you could get that, you know, you could
be around trucks.
Like what?
Well, I don't know. You could lease big rigs.
Or you could run a truck stop.
Or you could sell those little silhouettes of girls that stick on mud
Those aren't sold. They're handed down from generation to generation.
So when are you going to tell Luke?
Luke is to know nothing about this. I don't want his pity.
I just want a chance to get to know him better.
Three -hour trip.
That's what they told Gilligan.
Okay, so we got a little lost.
A little lost?
Dad, we were halfway to Florida.
If we hadn't stopped at that gas station, we'd be in Cuba by now.
Well, we're going the right way now. The depot's a half a mile down the road.
Dad, it's 7 .30.
If they unload the truck in two minutes, and if we drive 195 miles per hour back
home, I might actually be able to catch the last five minutes of that party.
Couldn't be worse.
Drew, you could still be singing those Willie Nelson songs.
All right, here's the depot right up here. We're going to get them to unload
tomatoes just as quickly as they can.
Hey, excuse me.
We have tomatoes.
What do we do with them?
Pull her at the dock 19, Johnny.
All right, great.
Listen, these guys are going to unload us right away.
We must be new to this route.
Drivers unload their own trucks.
You don't tug on Superman's cape.
You don't spit into the wind.
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and you don't mess around with
Jim. I love that song.
Yeah. My mom used to sing it to me when I was a baby. Yeah? Check out this
picture. Don't I look a lot like her?
Oh, yeah.
Gosh. Hey, George looks so young here.
You got a smile, you know?
Yeah. I don't see it.
Hey, Luke, I want to talk to you about something.
Well, I really don't.
Mike,
if you're trying to talk about the facts of life, you're a little late.
If your dad keeps driving a truck, he's going to be paralyzed.
What?
Yeah, he won't listen to the doctors, and he sure won't listen to me.
And I thought you'd want to know.
I think we ended up with half the tomatoes on us.
Oh, yeah?
You should have seen your face when you fell into this tomato pit.
Well, I was walking along the next minute I'm swimming in the Red Sea.
I'm just glad George wasn't hauling fertilizer.
Oh, four percent for a couple city boys. We did all right.
Ben, there's no way you're going to make your party tonight. And it's all my
fault, and I am truly sorry.
I had a great time, though.
Copy, good buddy?
10 -4.
Well, let's hammer down and head for home.
Yeah!
I
didn't
mean to wake you up.
What are you doing?
Just trying to get this old body to the bathroom and pay the toll.
Oh, you must really be in pain.
Ah, nah.
It's nothing.
Whoa!
Slap me silly and shave me naked.
Here, let me help you up.
Okay. I'm coming.
I'll be right there.
What's so funny?
Well...
When you were a little boy, I used to take you to the bathroom in the middle
the night so you wouldn't wet the bed, and now it seems like you're doing the
same thing for me.
Yeah, well, I don't remember anything back then.
I do.
The only way you'd go back to sleep is if you heard your favorite song.
You don't tug on Superman's cape.
You don't spit into the wind. Yeah, Mom used to sing that to me. Luke!
Your mom was a lovely woman, but she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.
Don't you remember?
You were terrified of all those monsters in the closet?
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and you don't mess around
with... Luke.
You. You loved it.
Made you think you were bigger and stronger than any of those monsters.
You really did that?
Yeah, sure.
Look.
Mike told me what's going on with your back.
Oh, that boy's tongue is loose at both ends.
You know, George, you're going to have to make a decision here.
I've made one.
I'm not going to quit trucking.
And I don't want to talk about it.
You're just going to pretend like it doesn't exist?
You know, that's typical.
It's like everything that's ever went on the past 13 years never happened.
I want to talk about it, George.
I mean, you come here after all this time and see what's past is past. Let's
jump into a truck and watch the fireflies.
What I was trying... You send me postcard after postcard.
About the world's biggest prairie chicken.
What about the postcard that says, I'm sorry I ruined your life?
Luke. You know, you run from doctors the way you run from everything.
Including your own son.
What was wrong with me?
What was wrong with you?
Yeah.
What was it, George?
Why can't you just tell me?
I can't talk to you when you're like this.
And you haven't changed.
I don't think you ever will.
Luke, Luke!
I'm not very good at this kind of talk.
But if it's what it takes, I'll keep trying all night.
But first, you've got to get me to the bathroom.
You should have seen us, Maggie. There we were, the wind in our faces, the open
road before us, and the tomatoes in our shorts.
Hello. Hi, George.
Good morning.
Hey, you two, thanks for running those tomatoes to Jersey for me.
Piece of cake, George.
Glad to hear it. Sometimes they try to pull a fast one on first -timers, make
them unload their own truck.
You're looking a lot better today, George.
Yep, about time to hit the road.
You're leaving?
That's great.
That's your feeling better.
My back's loose enough for me to steer with a wheel. I should make it to Tucson
just fine.
So you sure that driving that big rig is the best thing for you? Oh, absolutely.
As soon as I get there, I'm going to sell it.
By myself, a little truck stop from an old buddy.
You're quitting trucking?
Well, Luke's a very persuasive young man.
Wow, Luke.
Well, how'd you do it? What'd you say?
I said that I'm going with him.
What?
It's only for a couple of months, Mike, to help him set up.
Are you out of your cotton -picking mind?
No offense.
Mike, the word. Dad, I'm sorry, but I can't let him do this.
Well, you have to. Luke has to get to know his father.
Dad, he can't just pick up and leave like this.
What about his life?
What about us?
Mike, this is not your decision.
Mike, you taught me what it means to be there when somebody needs you the most.
And I want to do the same for George.
I mean, my dad.
Come on, you guys. Don't look like that. It's only for a couple months. I'll be
coming back.
Well, you better come back.
Trying to stop me.
Bye, Luke. See you later, man. Bye.
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