Original subtitles

Ah, Mr. Brower.

Uh, sorry I'm late, Mr. Receiver. Ah, it's the third time in a row, Luke.

I should call 555 -DELI and leave a wake -up call? Don't worry, I only sleep in

class.

I've got to get a hold of one of your employees, Luke Brower.

He's a waiter.

Uh, well, maybe a busboy.

That's funny. I've never heard of him. I just tried to pull his file. There

isn't one.

His file's missing?

No.

Luke Brower does not exist.

Look, I can't believe you're living here. Well, I am.

Well, I don't get it. I mean, what about your parents?

I don't have any, and I don't need them. I'm doing fine right here.

Look, there's got to be someplace better than this. Yeah, like where?

Like some kind of, I don't know, some kind of city outreach, sort of nice,

place.

I've tried all the happy places.

This is better.

We have a homeless boy living here. What?

This is a school. We can't have kids here.

I can't let you live on a street like this.

Oh, you can't let me.

Well, this morning I wasn't on the street. I had a place to sleep and a

eat and a promising academic career.

Now, thanks to you, I'm a homeless, hungry dropout.

Who are you, Charles Keating?

You sure this is okay?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. You can sleep in my sister's room.

Don't worry, it's fine. She's away at college, and you can talk to my dad in

morning. Okay.

I don't know. No, no, no. Stop worrying. It's fine. Just go on upstairs to the

first door on the right. And sometimes she keeps this big stuffed dog on her

bed. Just shove it off and hop in.

Oh, Lucas, your neck's still bothering you. Listen, you shouldn't have slept on

the floor. You could have had the water bed.

Nah, I didn't want to sleep in a bed that might wet me.

Listen, what do you say I make up for it with one of Michael Seaver's super

-duper homemade breakfasts? Great. Okay.

What do you have, a marshmallow twinkle or Mr.

Smacky's peanut logs?

Well, I was kind of hoping for something hot.

Well, you can heat up the peanut logs, but I got to warn you, they'll burn the

roof of your mouth.

Okay, I'll cook something.

How about pancakes?

Okay, we'll go out.

Well, you got everything you need right here. You got flour, oil, and eggs.

Wow. How'd you learn how to make pancakes?

Until I was 10 years old, I used to tell my mother to get a lumber camp in

Oregon. Really?

Yep. When you got 68 men with chainsaws, you better learn to watch your flock.

Listen, Luke, why don't you just stay here for a while?

Huh? Well, you know, you being out on the street and everything, it's kind of

fault. Well, I wouldn't say that.

Really? It's totally your fault.

There's no way your parents would let me stay here. My parents? Oh, Luke, Luke,

Luke. You see, this is the finger I have them wrapped around, and I got nine

more on standby.

So, if I say you're staying, you're staying.

I don't care what you say. He is not staying.

But why?

Mike, this isn't like bringing home a stray puppy. This Luke could be

He could be a thief. And we do have a five -year -old. Your mom has a point,

Mike. We've got to think of Christy. Mom, he is not dangerous. He's my best

student. Okay? And he's never stolen a thing.

Except for food, clothes, and home box office.

Mike, all we're saying is...

He gets cable free?

Jason, stay focused.

Mike, you have no right. Mom, I think you are being selfish. Selfish? You're

being naive.

Mike, Maggie, wait a minute. Let's keep our emotions in check here. Mike, you

slime bucket. Of all the dumb things you've done, this is the dumbest. Give

to him.

First, you bring a complete stranger into our house. Your bed.

And then you send them into my bed.

Occupied.

home, baby.

What you have done is so low and despicable that even your apprentice

here agrees with me.

I don't.

You don't? Well, why have you been agreeing with me all morning?

I just want to see you get so mad you fleck foam from the corners of your

You snake! You scuzzwad! You slimy, sniggly slime bucket!

There it is!

Yes! Mr. Joe, we have cheap foam!

torturing your sister.

Carol, wipe your mug.

Mom, Dad, I demand a family conference. Carol, that is an excellent suggestion.

Would you and Ben please leave the room?

It was my idea. Yes, and it was a good one, sweetheart.

Now get out.

Okay, Mike, Maggie, I think that we owe Mike a chance to express himself before

we give him some arbitrary refusal.

Thank you. All right.

Can Luke stay?

No chance.

Wait a minute. What your mother is saying is we realize that Luke is a

guy. And yes, we do have a lot to share.

And yes, Carol's off in the dorm, so we do have an extra room. And what was the

problem, Maggie?

Jason, he can't stay here. Okay, fine. Fine. He doesn't have to stay here. But

where? A foster home. I'm a consultant at the Bureau of Child Welfare, Mike. I

can help him get a great one. It'll just take a little time.

Meanwhile, he can stay at a facility called Peyton Hall. Now, I know it's not

perfect. Not perfect? Yeah, that place has got gang members and drug addicts.

That's the honors program.

He does have a point, Maggie. That place can be real rough. Jason? But he's just

gonna have to suck it up.

Mike, we all feel sorry for Luke, but life isn't always fair.

There are some things we can't fix.

I'll get him out of Peyton Hall into a foster home as soon as I can. Mike,

that's the best we can do.

Luke.

Hey, you remember my folks.

Hi, Luke.

Listen, Luke, we've been talking things over and... Well, just to lay it out

there for you... Dad?

Well, Luke, what Mike's trying to say is that we completely understand your

situation and we sympathize. And so...

Maggie?

You can stay with us.

some of the ground rules. Number one, don't let Ben touch fluffy feet.

Number two, don't let Ben touch anything else.

Got it.

Okay, now the closet.

You can use this half. Make sure your clothes don't crowd mine.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you how easily linen wrinkles.

It's a stinking crime.

That's why I pick one look and stick with it all year long.

Sorry, I wasn't thinking.

How do you stay warm in the winter?

Oh, no problem in Jamaica, Mom.

Jamaica? Yeah, I grew up there. I go back every winter. I used to work as a

at a plantation.

That must be a tough job.

All I can say is, when you've got to cook macaroons for 68 sweaty men with

machetes, you better learn to watch your coconuts.

Hey, Luke, Mike and I thought you might need some extra clothes while you're

here.

Jeans, T -shirts, and a bra?

Actually, this is Carol's. Mom just washed it.

Great. Now it needs to be washed again.

Is she gone? Yeah, why?

Oh, fluffy face.

I don't think she wants you doing that.

I know. That's why I do it. I don't know how she knows, but it drives her nuts.

It's time to smoke a Betty's armpit.

I don't know how you've been sleeping here with all this girly stuff.

I'm happy to have a bed at all. I'm used to sleeping in storage rooms and movie

theaters.

Movie theater?

Doesn't that get expensive?

Not if you sneak in.

Sneak in?

Yep. I've got a surefire system where the theater manager ushers me in, holds

the door open, and calls me sir.

Really?

Well, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Mike!

Hey, Mike!

Dad, every Saturday you come out here and you yell for Mike to wash the car,

you end up washing it yourself.

Obviously, yelling is a waste of time.

Fine. You wash the car.

Mike!

Mike!

Something wrong?

Oh, just trying to get Mike to wash the car.

I'll do it.

Oh, well, there, that's resolved.

No, no, no. Mike should do it. It's a big job.

Not for me. I used to wash airplanes for barnstormers. I grew up next to an

airfield.

Barnstormers in Manhattan?

South Dakota.

The Golden Era.

I remember one time for my birthday, they took me up with them and spun me

around until I lost my lunch.

God, I love those guys.

No wonder the planes needed so much washing.

No, Luke, listen. Put that down. This is Mike's job. He will do it. It's been

Mike's job for 11 years, and I want to live long enough to see him do it just

once.

Mike!

Mike!

Hey, Luke!

Hey, hey, hey!

What the heck are you doing?

I'm washing your dad's car. No, Luke, you don't have to do chores just because

my dad asked you to.

Well, he didn't ask me. I volunteered.

Ah! You volunteered?

No, no, no. Look, yes, maybe the way you do it on the streets, but this is

suburbia. Nobody does anything for anybody.

He was upset. He was yelling.

Yelling is nothing. Believe me. I mean, you don't have to worry about my dad

until his nostrils flare and that vein over his left eyebrow starts to throb.

After that, he makes Freddy Krueger look like a guy with press -on nails.

Mike, this is really reprehensible.

This is your job, this is your guest, and that is... Holy smokes, we got white

walls.

You want me to take over, Dad?

No.

No kidding. You used to work on a dude ranch?

When you cook for 68 burly men with lassos, you learn to watch your

That's funny. I could have sworn there was a bottle of wine in there.

Jason must have finished it.

It's okay. There's plenty more.

Wow, that's a lot of wine. Yeah.

Jason started collecting. He really likes his wine.

Well, pleased to meet you, Barbie. Does she have a last name?

Don't.

She wants me to invite you over to her dream house for tea.

Well, I never turned down an invitation from a beautiful woman.

She's got a boyfriend, but I can stuff him in a drawer.

applications for Luke's foster family. Have you seen it?

Uh, no. No, I don't know anything about it, Dad. I was just, uh, sitting here

watching the game on TV.

Wouldn't it be better if the set were on?

Uh, no. No, uh, the game was blacked out.

Folder. Okay. But, uh, Dad, just for the record, I, uh, didn't look at a thing.

But, uh, forget about that couple from Brooklyn, all right? I want Luke being

raised by people who drag their knuckles on the ground.

Dad, I'm sorry, but it's just that Lucas had a tough life, and I want to make

sure that he's around people who care about him. I know that. In a good

neighborhood, with a good school.

And a room of his own, private entrance, trying to start a light dish.

Silly me.

All this time I've been looking for a stable, loving family with high moral

character. I should have been looking for somebody with a video arcade and a

weight room.

Yeah, all right, now you're talking.

Thanks for letting me do my laundry here, Mom.

The laundry room in the dorm has become a real meat market pickup place.

How does anybody get their wash then? Don't ask me. I'm still on the waiting

list.

Oh, sweetheart, will you take out the trash?

No problem.

Hey, anybody seen Luke? That station wagon's looking kind of grungy.

He went with Mike to check out neighborhoods for foster homes.

I don't know where they went, but Mike said something about knuckles dragging.

Oh, Brooklyn.

Add it to Mike, though. He's really serious about finding Luke a good home.

I know. Ever since he brought Luke here, he's been mature, responsible, caring.

Kind of gives you the creeps, doesn't it?

You know, this is too much. I know I put a bottle of wine in there. There's more

in the cabinet.

Want to bet?

That's impossible. Last time I looked, there were 15 bottles in there.

Impossible.

How many times do I have to tell you about recycling?

In a minute, honey.

But, Mom, look.

Somebody put glass in with the regular garbage.

Jason.

The wine bottle. But who could have... Oh, my God.

I can't believe it. Me neither. It's incredible.

Hey, get a grip.

There's your spot.

You do that, honey.

Well, let's not jump to any conclusions here. We don't know for sure that it was

Luke. Luke? He couldn't have done it. I agree. He's a responsible kid.

After all, he spent his childhood cooking for an entire dude ranch.

No, he didn't.

He spent his childhood hanging out with barnstormers.

Barnstormers? The Golden Eagles. They used to make him throw up. He loved

guys.

Will you just listen to yourself?

Barnstormers. Dude ranch.

I mean, how gullible can you be?

Oh, I suppose you know the real story.

Yes. He grew up on a plantation in Jamaica with big guys and coconuts.

Fair line. Pig dog stole your wine.

This is it. Luke said nothing can go wrong as long as I stay calm.

Now pick up a ticket stub without drawing attention to yourself.

Okay, Theater 5, you're home free.

Hold it there, you little nose wipe.

Red alert.

Damage control.

Show them the stub. Show them the stub.

Excuse me, sir. I just came out of Theater 5, and I left my wallet in

Your wallet.

Yeah, it must have slipped out of my pocket when I stood up to let those nuns

take their seats.

There were nuns watching when stewardesses go bad?

Yeah, well, they left early. If you just let me go in, I'll grab my wallet and

I'll be out of there before the next show at 3 .15.

Okay, but go straight in and come straight out.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

Touchdown. Now go directly to the theater, stopping for nothing.

Ooh, popcorn.

Popcorn.

Found your wallet, I see.

Uh, yeah. Well, this is just my regular wallet. That was my lucky wallet.

Good thinking. He's buying it.

Mom,

Dad, Dad.

Mike bought me. Okay, guys, check this out. Luke saw it today.

Oh, can you believe that, Dad? Before this morning, he never threw a spiral in

his life. Dan Marino, watch out.

All right, that's good.

Luke, why don't you go upstairs and watch for dinner, okay?

Sure, Dr. Seymour. Yeah.

Is he a great kid or what? Yeah. My dad?

Yeah.

Yeah, but, Mike, something's happened with Luke, and we don't think we're

to be able to find him a foster home.

What? And we don't think he should stay in our home either.

What are you guys talking about?

Well, we found a lot of empty wine bottles in the trash, and we know that

neither of us drank them.

You don't think Luke drank them?

He needs more help than we can give him. He should be in an alcohol treatment

program. And we have to think of Ben and Chrissy. Like it or not, Luke will have

an influence on them. I'm sorry. I'm not buying this. I mean, if Luke drank all

that wine, he would be plastered all the time. And have you ever seen him drunk

or even hungover?

Well, no.

Neither have I. Have you ever smelled alcohol on his breath? No.

But, uh, look, I don't have all the answers either, Mike. And show me one

this family who he's had a bad influence on.

This nose wipe claims to live here.

We caught him sneaking into the Massapequa multiplex.

Ben, Steve, where did you get an idea like that?

Nothing can make me talk. Young man.

It was Luke.

It's all right, we'll take it from here, um, Your Majesty.

Hey, Luke, what are you doing?

Oh, packing.

I got the picture my lease was up. So I'm taking two pairs of socks and one

of underwear.

Mind if I keep the football?

Luke, we've got to clear something up.

Fine, I'll leave the football.

No, that's not it. We found some empty wine bottles in the trash.

So? Luke, we want to help. We know you're drinking.

Me?

I wouldn't touch that poison.

I'd like to believe you, but between barnstorming and biscuits, how are we

supposed to know when you're telling the truth?

It doesn't matter what I say. You guys got your minds all made up.

Not all of us. All right, Luke, you just tell me that you didn't take that wine

and I'll believe you.

Luke, tell me.

I'm out of here.

Oh, Luke, wait a second.

You need help. There are programs for teens who drink.

So then go find a teen who drinks.

Luke, don't you know how bad that stuff is for you?

Do you have any idea what alcohol does to your internal organs, your liver and

your heart and your...

Whatever else is in there?

Come on, man. Don't you know that booze can kill you?

Leave me alone.

You can't tell me anything about booze. I don't know. It makes you stupid. It

makes you sick.

It makes you forget.

It makes you hate people.

It makes you afraid to come home at night.

What? It makes you afraid to ask a question or make a noise.

Get a glass of water. Do anything that'll make him mad when he's drunk.

When who's drunk? Nobody here gets drunk.

No, he's not talking about us, Mike.

How are you, Luke?

Who gets drunk?

Your father?

He left when I was two.

Who were you afraid of when they drank?

My stepfather.

I liked him at first. He was fine when he was sober.

Like you.

He even bought me an ice cream once.

But, boy, when he had a few belts in him, he was a different guy.

Mean.

Anything would set him off.

Did he beat you?

Yeah.

Mom tried to stop me, beat her, too.

After she died, he started drinking all the time.

He didn't care how much he hurt me.

One night he came after me with a baseball bat.

If I hadn't have run, he would have killed me. Oh, my God.

I tell you, it's the liquor that does it to him. It does it to everybody. It's

poison. And you didn't want that to happen again, did you?

No. So you took our wine. Yes.

But you didn't drink it. I poured it down the drain, every damn drop of it.

Because you didn't want anybody to get hurt like you got hurt.

It's all right. Everything's going to be all right.

So Luke thought... He thought that drinking would turn me into his

Oh, hey, Luke, it's going to be all right, buddy.

I mean, my dad has a glass of wine every now and then, but, I mean, he never

loses control.

Why do you say when he's mad he's worse than Freddy Krueger?

I was kidding.

No, he never hurt anybody.

You might find this hard to believe, but there are places you'll be safe, you

know.

Here, for instance.

You mean you're not kicking me out?

You can stay with us for as long as it takes to find a good home, but we need

trust each other, okay?

Okay. No more lies about barnstormers and coconuts.

Right. You don't need to tell stories in this house to be liked.

Mom, Dad, I want to come clean with the truth.

I was taken hostage by a group of space aliens.

I said if I didn't help them sneak into the movies, they'd blow up Long Island.