Original subtitles

Dad, look, I need a favor. I'm late for my night class and my car won't start.

Okay, here. Take mine.

Great. And I'm a little low on gas. Here's a 20.

Oh, gee whiz, Dad. Thanks.

All right.

Jason, that was Mike.

It sure was.

You just gave him your car.

I don't even let him near my toys.

Ah, and he hasn't missed a single night class in three months. He finally cares

about school. Why would I not lend a young man like that my car?

The poor dumb schlub.

Hey, come on. If you guys screw up for 20 years and you suddenly turn your life

around like that, you can borrow my car, too.

Oh, right.

Maggie, if I'm way off base, you'll just speak up.

Not in front of the children.

Hi. Kate, how are you? I haven't seen you for months. Look who's here.

Hi. Good to see you.

Nice to see you, too.

Where's Mike? He left.

Yeah, and the car dad's going to let me borrow if I can just screw up for

another six years.

It's Tuesday.

It's my night to drive.

Uh, is this, uh, fishnet docking night at English class?

English class?

At Boynton? You're both in night school.

Why would I go to Boynton?

I want to do a real college.

Well, if you and Mike aren't going to night class, where are you going?

Uh, same place we've been going for the past three months.

Mike,

why didn't you tell me your parents didn't know about this job?

Because I... What?

Where did you see my parents? At your house. It's Tuesday. It's my turn to

drive. Oh, my gosh.

Don't waste another minute on your crying.

We're nowhere near the end.

The best is ready to begin.

getting ugly over there.

You know, it is times like this that I'm really happy we're not dating.

Hey, what do you mean? Come on, we go out every week.

No, I mean dating, dating.

Oh, oh, you want me to pay?

Mike, why did you have to lie to your parents?

When are you just going to grow up and tell them you're singing later? Well,

apparently tonight.

Honey, all the punishments we've ever come up with, none have ever worked.

what are you going to do to them?

Something new, something bold, something wild.

Now you go upstairs, please.

Well, I will as long as you give me the poker.

Ah. Hey, Dad, did you hear the news?

Kate's been institutionalized for being a pathological liar.

Ah, he's not going to buy that.

All right, Mike, it's time to face this like a man.

Night, Dad.

Mike, Mike, no, no, come, come, sit.

Come on, by the fire.

Uh, Dad, where's the poker?

No, Mom's got it upstairs in the bed.

Oh, sit.

Okay.

That fire's getting kind of low, isn't it? Yes.

I guess you're

probably wondering why I'm burning your books.

These are my books?

Yeah.

Dad? From that night school class you haven't been attending.

Oh, uh, look, look, Dad, I can explain all this. Mm -hmm.

just be honest with each other?

Well, I'm a little afraid of what that might do to our relationship, Dad.

I've been wrong, Mike. I've been 100 % wrong.

Pardon me?

I've been wrong about forcing you to stay in school.

Oh, well, I guess we should have tried this honesty thing a long time ago.

Just because I've got this...

And I want you to have security in this insecure world. And I think you should

have a degree. That doesn't mean you have to have the same dream.

Your dream is to act, Mike. I want you to follow that dream 1 ,000%. Do it. I'm

behind you all the way.

How far behind me?

Honey, you didn't come to bed last night.

You know, there's no traffic in Manhattan at 5 in the morning.

What were you doing in Manhattan?

I needed to be there, Maggie, to pick up my copies of Variety, Backstage,

Casting Call.

Oh, so Mike convinced you to become an actor, too, didn't he?

This, Maggie, is Mike's hopes and dreams. And this is the real world.

Any questions?

Mom, Dad, my alarm clock just went off at 6 a .m. I don't even have an alarm

clock. Oh, you do now, Mike? It's breakfast. Come on, sit, sit.

Mike's hopes and dreams with bacon.

Here, come on, son, while you're eating, take a look through these trades. That

is what you actors call them, isn't it?

Yeah.

Right here, Mike.

I've circled a few things that I thought you might be right for.

Mom? I don't know.

Isn't this a little early to be talking about dodges? Come on, if you're going

to go for it, you've got to get up and go for it. Look at this.

Looking for a lovable, irresponsible doofus.

Maybe not just him.

Well, look, I could play this.

Of course you could.

There's hundreds of them in there. Come on, take the... Get going. Go, go, go,

go, go.

All right, all right. All right, wait a minute. You're going to need some lunch

money.

Oh. All right. Thanks, Dad.

Yeah, yeah, it's working, Maggie.

Really? Sometimes I frighten myself.

Sweetheart, sit.

is our marriage.

Yes. Is your plan?

Any questions?

Hi, I'm Mike Sieber. I'm here to read for the part of... The lovable,

irresponsible doofus.

I'm a natural.

We're running an hour late. The producer's getting a little behind.

Oh, oh, no problem. I'm in no hurry. I've got no place else to go.

So sad.

Could be a lot worse. I could be in school getting an education.

I hear you.

Oh, hey, hey, hey. Isn't that the famous actor from that old show, Law Force?

I don't know. I only watch PBS.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's...

Oh, well, well, well.

Freeze. You should know better than to mess with the law force.

That's pretty good, kid. Hey, how you doing? Lyle does this all the way to my

mom that I met. Oh, she thinks you have got the cutest butt.

Not that I don't. No, I mean that in a manly kind of way.

Easy, kid. You're going to explode.

He's got a sense of humor like regular people. That's great.

Wait a minute, you're not reading for the part of the lovable doofus, are you?

I mean, if I'm reading against you, I don't stand a chance.

I mean, look, I don't want to humiliate myself. Kid, relax.

Would an Emmy award -winning star of his own primetime television series be

reading for a bit, part, sink?

About what?

Oh, no,

of course not.

See, actually, they're adding a new leading man in Big City Secrets, so, you

know, if I like the script, things might happen. Okay.

You got to be real careful what kind of television you do.

I, for one, only do color.

Mr. Douglas?

Yeah.

Oh, hey, kid.

Good luck.

You'll make a great doofus.

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.

I'm in luck.

games on your son sure makes you giddy.

Honey, I can't help it. I'm sorry. I just imagine all those doors being

in his face and I get goosebumps.

I do feel.

Well, why don't you let yourself go? Maybe he got hit by a bus.

Hopefully a school bus.

I'm kidding, Maggie, but we had no other choice.

We? I wasn't consulted. The reason I didn't consult you was I didn't think

agree with me. Well, damn right I wouldn't agree. It makes me feel bad to

for my son's failure.

Oh, honey, with his dreams of acting and the odds against that, I mean, he's

just going to have his hopes and dreams crushed.

And who better to crush them than the people who love them the most?

Well, maybe if you find out that sometimes your dreams don't work out,

finally concentrate on school.

All right, so we're agreed.

Yeah, we're agreed.

Now, when he comes in here all disappointed and down and hurting and

don't you start giggling.

I won't. Good.

Some days I love being a parent.

Huh?

You've never heard in your whole life. And, Mom, that's not an age joke.

What is it? Okay, Dad, you remember that soap opera audition that you told me

about for the part of the lovable doofus?

You got the part, didn't you? No!

No, no, no. I was a terrible doofus.

Thank God. Don't scare me like that.

No, look. They said that I had something special. They said I was an interesting

type. They said that I am the new leading man on Big City Secrets.

want any dinner nope mom he's still pouting dad

mind if i watch some women's wrestling before i buckle down and study nope

ladies and gentlemen particularly the gentlemen that's what i like to call a

leg lock ben is there anything you're interested in you might want me to

encourage nothing

Ben, promise me the day you'll never come that you'll stop listening to me,

okay?

Huh?

Actually,

this women's wrestling is a little distracting, Ben.

Go.

Hi, Daddy.

Hi, sweetheart.

I've been thinking, I want to be an actress like Mike.

Mom put me up to it.

Thank you, sweetheart.

It's okay. I enjoyed it.

Sweetheart, I merely wanted to demonstrate that things could be worse.

Honey, we've lost him.

I mean, he's never gonna go back to school. He's not gonna get an education.

I mean, sure, maybe this job will last a year, two years, maybe three years, but

then what's he gonna do?

Honey, you should have a little faith. I mean, maybe, maybe he'll be a

celebrity. I mean, there's always a... call for someone to open a supermarket

host a beauty pageant or be a grand marshal of a parade.

All that of life.

I know, I know. I feel as badly as you do. Well, maybe not as bad as you do

because it wasn't my harebrained idea.

She jumps all over it.

If you don't hold still, you're liable to get a pin stuck someplace that could

be detrimental to your career as a leading man.

You are a leading man.

You're done.

Thanks.

Oh, there he is.

Anywhere else you'd like to go without a pass? I'll take you there.

Oh, thank you, Dave.

Not my name, not my shirt.

to tell you i am so happy for you oh thank you thank you the gang of

dedicated on broadway to you last night oh really star you're starring on a soap

opera i know i can't believe it either oh that reminds me

a christmas tree ornament

no it's a star for your dressing room

I'm really sorry that I got mad at you. And, you know, just for the record, you

were right. I mean, I really should have told my dad that I was ducking that

class three months ago.

Michael, I do believe you're growing up.

Kate, you remember that television actor on that old show, Law Force?

Oh, yeah, the one with the broad shoulders?

No, no, no, the one with the cute butt. Lyle Douglas.

Do you want to meet him?

He's here?

Oh, yeah, he's a buddy of mine. He was going for a role on the same show. I

guess it worked out for him, too.

Hey, Lyle, my man, how's it going?

Who are you?

Remember yesterday at the audition?

Ah, yeah, that's right. You're the fever kid. Right.

Understand you got the role of Strom Waverly. The third. Right, so who'd you

get? Strom Waverly the second?

Not exactly.

You might do for... Yeah.

It's too small. It's gonna look silly.

My job is done.

You're playing the doofus?

Yeah, my agent and I, we talked about this, and we both decided what my career

really needs right now is a good character role. You know, something that

shows my range.

Oh, right.

I thought a big famous actor like you would be pretty bummed out over such a

nothing part.

Smug little flash in the pan.

But what'd I say?

Look, I gotta take this job because it's the only thing I got.

But don't expect me to take any crap from you.

Hey, man, I'm sorry.

Yeah. Well, come talk to me after you've won an Emmy and nobody will hire you.

And then come see me when everybody starts asking you who you used to be.

Mike, it's not your fault.

Man, he was really upset.

I don't think he meant it.

I mean, I'm sure you'd say a lot of things you didn't mean if you were a big

star and just ended up on the bottom.

Hi, I'm Mike Seaver, and I'm here to read... Oh, dear.

Oh, wow!

You... Wow, that old show, Big City Secrets!

You're... You're Mike Seaver!

Easy, kid, you're gonna explode.

I thought too.

Plan B.

Oh, no.

No, no, this isn't like Plan A. You know, that was kind of half -baked. Not

it was a mistake.

Because I believe we had to go through Plan A to get to where we are right now.

And where is that? Well, you're going to love this. And it's simple, Maggie.

Simple simplicity.

Just like all great ideas. The wheel. Starting with the wheel.

Square was bumpy. Just say it. Okay, okay. The idea, Maggie.

We pay Mike to go to school.

I know, I know. I couldn't speak when I thought of it. of it either.

We just have to cut back on a few things, Maggie. No more expensive

more visits to the hair salon, no more expensive jewelry. And how much are you

willing to pay Mike to go to school? Every cent we have.

What do you think?

Jason, you have done it again.

You want to be part of telling him this new idea? Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't

want to lose the basis for any future legal action.

Dad.

Hey, you got a minute?

Yeah, yeah, no, I do, Mike, I do. As a matter of fact, I kind of wanted to talk

to you. Oh, issue of my loins?

See, I've been thinking that... No, go ahead. No, you go first.

No, okay, okay, I'll go first.

How'd you like to make some big, big money at home?

Uh, well, I really don't know if I'm gonna have any time, Dad, between my job

and school.

Well, just hear me out, Mike, and I think you're gonna make time, because

wouldn't even, wouldn't even school.

Yeah, uh, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, Dad.

You see, um, you know, I've really been thinking, and I, I've been thinking, you

know, I, I guess it couldn't hurt to, to go back and finish college.

You know, I mean, I'm really, I'm really not gonna be that busy, because...

because the soap opera that I'm working on has got 16 leading men, and my

character's not really coming out of a coma for the next two or three months.

And besides, acting is really not that secure.

And I think that I should have something to fall back on.

You're mocking me, aren't you, Mike? No.

No, Dad, I'm not.

Really, I just... I mean that I think I finally got what you've been saying to

me this whole time about having a little security.

What do you mean you're finally just getting it now?

Dad, I'm just sorry I didn't listen to you sooner.

Well, uh...

Okay.

What were you saying about that big, big bucks at home?

Oh, yeah, that was just, you know, that was chores, you know.

Mowing the lawn, that kind of thing. Minimum wage.

Oh.

Maggie!

Mike's going back to college.

Exactly.

How much are we paying you to go back to school?

Paying me to go to school?

Yeah, that was one of your mother's half -baked ideas.

Out of the free clinic, she's going to meet some people who are down on their

luck. Why are you volunteering here?

Oh, I'm not volunteering. My father dragged me down here so I could get some

sensitivity. Still kind of early in the day, huh?

I fear a dark and desperate time might come when I must define myself as

something.

And the only word that comes to mind is thief.

He's a criminal, Carol.

Mom, he's more than that.