Original subtitles

He drives to the basket.

Two seconds, he's up.

It's good.

And the Knicks tie it up. We go into overtime.

All right, here we go.

Jason, Chris and I are getting tired of waiting out in the court because the

game would be over in 30 seconds. Great news, honey. Knicks just tied it up.

We're heading into overtime.

No, we're not. We're going to Christie's Play School.

Honey, we had a relax.

There's not going to be any traffic out there.

Everybody who calls himself an American is at home watching this game.

Jason, what's more important here, this silly game or Chrissy's first day of

school? Did I mention it was overtime?

I'm coming, I'm coming.

Oh, good, you guys are still here.

Here, Chrissy, it's my old animal pencil case with the elephant eraser and the

zebra sharpener. Oh, how so sweet of you, isn't it, honey?

Yeah, yeah, just putting on my coat. You're wearing your coat.

Okay, then we have a couple more minutes.

Did you take me on my first day of preschool?

Yeah, yeah. I missed the seventh game of the World Series because of you.

What about me?

Missed the Reagan -Carter debate.

That's why you've always been my favorite.

Look, Jason, if you don't want to go, I want to go. I'm coming. I want to go.

I've been waiting for Carol to stop babbling here so we can hit the road.

Mom, Dad.

I just think it's wonderful that you two are willing to start all over again

with Chrissy at your age.

Just yesterday there was a segment on Oprah.

Old people with kids.

Not the kids, the parents. Oh, they're not all that young.

Excuse me.

Doctor and Mrs. Seaver, I'm Lori McNeil. I used to date Mike. Oh, yeah? Hi,

Lori. Hi. Hi.

What a beautiful baby.

Oh, thank you. This is Canaan. Yeah, I can.

Yeah, look at that. He's got dimples just like Mike's. Yeah, there's a reason

for that.

Huh?

Yeah, his daddy has dimples like Mike's, too.

Oh, his daddy has? Yes.

That's wonderful.

It's nice seeing you guys. Nice seeing you.

Oh, so that's what a stroke feels like.

Hi, I'm Sally Garner. Welcome.

Hi, Maggie and Jason Seaver, and this is Chrissy. Hi, Chrissy. I am so glad

you're in our class. Well, thanks. You know, our young parents can certainly

profit from your mature experience.

Mature?

Well, we do plan to pass on so much of what we learned during World War II.

You're just making a little joke there.

You remind me of my mom. She's always making jokes that nobody gets.

Come on, Chrissy.

I have some new friends over here that I want you to meet.

Maggie,

come on. Don't take it personally. She's just a kid.

Maggie?

Jason, we're the oldest parents here. We are not. Come on. Look, hey, there's a

guy I raised.

Hello. Oh, that looks like fun. It sure is.

Hang on, honey.

Your daughter sure is adorable.

Granddaughter.

Granddaughter.

Yep, my kid stuck Grandpa with babysitting duty again.

But obviously, you two know how that goes.

It's 10 -15, Jason. 10 -15.

Maggie, easy. Come on, Ben's only 15. 15 minutes late for his curfew. I don't

need this after the day we had. What does the day we had have to do with Ben

blowing curfew? Everything.

Jason, do you realize that we're going to be reaming kids for missing curfews

for at least another 16 years?

By then, I'll look like one of the Golden Girls.

Maggie, don't even joke about that.

I'm not. Jason, do you realize how old I'll be when we're going through this

with Chrissy? Yes.

A year older than me.

I hadn't time for that.

Hi, guys. I'm out of here. Don't wait up. Wait, wait, wait. Are you going out

now? Come on. It's after 10.

Come on, Ted. The party won't be going good until at least 1 or 2.

Mike. Guys, guys, lighten up.

Weren't you two ever young?

Not that I can recall.

What'd I say?

Oh, just the worst possible thing at the worst possible time.

It didn't mean it. You've got a gift.

Get out, Mike.

What you got?

Honey, come on. I think you're overreacting to what...

You know, sometimes I'm glad Ben is such a klutz. It makes him easier to catch.

No, let me. I'm in the mood to chew somebody out.

Better him than me.

Ben Seaver.

Freeze.

You happen to know what time it is, young man?

Um, my watch says 8 .30. Good night. It is 10 .15, Ben.

Well, that's why the night seems to drag on and on.

I said freeze, mister.

And I want the truth.

Oh. Mom, Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd still be awake.

Oh, you think at our age it's tough to stay up past ten?

It always has been.

So you figured you'd just sneak in, nobody'd be the wiser, huh?

Isn't the important thing here that I'm home safe?

Who says you're safe?

Ben, Ben, Ben, don't you think your mom and I are going to get just a little

tired of having this conversation over and over again?

Well, then imagine how I feel.

Ben, can the wise guy step? I'm in no mood.

Well, then maybe we should talk about this in the morning, when you're fresh.

I am plenty fresh.

Now, Ben, this is getting old. You have got to learn to listen. Now, what do you

have to say for yourself?

And it better not be any back talk. And don't tell me you're sorry. I'm waiting.

Uh, Maggie.

What? Why don't you and I have a word in the kitchen? Oh, Jason, I am busy here.

Maggie, the kitchen?

Why? Because I don't want Ben to see us arguing.

Ben, if you move, or even think of moving before we get back, I'll...

I'll do something incredible.

What is it, Jason? What? I was on a roll out there.

I mean, he's got to know that we can keep up with him, that we're one step

ahead. Oh, Maggie, come on. The kid was just 15 minutes late.

Oh, just 15 minutes late.

Just 15 minutes late? Well, the next thing you know, he's... Well, he's 115

minutes late.

And then he stays out all night.

And then he falls into a group of hardened criminals, and the next thing

know, he's hiding out at the Vatican Embassy.

Sweetheart. Oh, you think I'm being irrational, don't you? Where am I?

Don't you?

I have the right to remain silent.

Oh, I am being irrational.

Honey, you're tired.

You want to stay tired? Wait till Chrissy's a teenager.

Well, didn't you and I always say that we wanted to grow old together?

Yeah, you're only being rational because you're younger than me.

Thirteen months.

Come on.

We got a couple good years left.

Why don't you go take care of Chrissy while you still can?

Coming, Chrissy.

Mommy's coming.

Oh, Chrissy's crying.

Thank you, Carol.

Mom, you look tired.

Well, kids can take a lot out of you. That's why I intend to have my children

when I'm young.

Oh, it's okay, sweetheart.

Mommy's here.

Mommy's here. You want to rock a little bit?

Yeah, you're such a good girl.

Just don't say I look good in this chair.

Yeah.

You're my little angel, aren't you, sweetheart?

Huh?

For everybody's sake, please stay that way.

You probably haven't done the math, Chrissy, but by the time you're 18, I'm

gonna be... Oh, I'm gonna be...

This is getting really old, young lady.

Tell me about it.

Chrissy Seaver, where have you been? We've been worried sick about you.

Mom, it's only 10 .30.

You've been gone three days.

Not one of these clothes can smell.

Young lady, you are in big trouble and I am in no mood to... fool around. They

haven't been in years.

Jason, we are dealing with our daughter. Right.

Don't you know we worry about you?

Mom, isn't the important thing that I'm home safe?

She has a point, Maggie.

Heck, she does. Where have you been?

I'm sorry I upset you. Here, I brought you back something.

Oh, my wallet. Thanks, Chrissy.

Dad, I think a well -respected psychiatrist like yourself should have

higher spending limits on his credit card.

You're letting me down.

I'm sorry, Chrissy. I'll make a call in the morning. Oh, Jason.

She's calling us again. Don't let her do it.

You're right.

Chrissy, you're just going to have to...

Make do with these credit cards the way they are.

Jason, she conned us again.

Mom, is it a con that I care about you? Is it a con that I love you? Because

that's how I feel, even sometimes when I don't know how to say it.

Oh, Chrissy, it's just... I know. You have your rules for my own good.

Exactly. So that I can go on to a good person.

A happy person? Yeah.

The punishment will be... Think about what you've done and why it is wrong.

Okay.

Done.

Well, now that that's settled, I'm going to get something to eat.

You guys are the best.

Oh, Jason.

Jason, she's done it again.

She did what?

She caught us out of punishing her.

Oh, she's a smart one, isn't she?

She's got my soul in Carol's brain.

Hey! There's no food in here!

And Ben's appetite.

Jason, we can't let her keep getting away with this behavior.

Oh, think about what it's gonna be like when we're old.

Jason, we are old.

Being 13 months younger doesn't amount to a hill of beans now, does it? Mr.

Soft Food Only.

Jason, I... I know what you're going to say, but you won't listen to reason.

What? But didn't my long -winded discussions make a difference with Mike

Carol?

Ben?

No. No?

Well, there's always a first time, Maggie.

What did Chrissy do again?

I'll come with you. All right.

Not there.

There.

Yes!

Who's the Heversate? We have to talk.

Why don't you call your mother?

Dad, what do you want to talk to me about? I want to talk about... About

gone for three days. About being gone for three days.

Oh, my God. would become the Reagan song.

Well, oh, the big deal is, it's not like it's the first time I disappeared.

Exactly.

Uh, wait.

Is this going to be the responsibility lecture?

Well, I've been told between that one and the one that goes, uh, someday

thank me for this. I know your mother likes that. I mean, I could do either,

because I'm in a mood. Just be quiet!

All right.

Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy!

Oh, Jesus, I hate this part. Just get to the point.

Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy. I can't start in the middle, baby!

Chrissy, Chrissy, you're worrying your mother and me to death with all this

running around. I wanted to stop and stop this minute, young lady.

Go from there. In the future.

In the future.

I want you to promise me that you will never repeat this behavior again.

Do it for yourself, if not for your mother and me.

I promise.

Rick Jet.

Mom,

Dad, I want to meet my fiancé, Jim.

Mrs. Seaver. Dr.

Seaver. Oh, Jason, did you hear that?

Yeah, Dr.

Seaver. I like this boy.

Jason, fiancé.

Fiancé. Yes, do something.

Sausage?

Look, do you mean to tell me that you love this... this... Off -road hobbyist?

Yes, Mom. I love him very much.

And Dr. and Mrs. Seaver, I'm an honest kind of guy. So I want to tell you, I

don't really love your daughter.

But with a body like that, I'm going to learn to.

Come on, crazy hot bomb. We're going to be late for the party.

Okay, I'm ready.

That's what I like about you.

Jason, let's go.

Thank you. I'm invited.

Jason! All right, let's go, Maggie. Come on, maybe I'll try the old be -yourself

lecture, the one Mike never listened to. Oh, no more lectures.

I'm taking over.

Jason.

Jason, you've lost it.

I saw this coming from the day we took Chrissy to play school and you wanted to

watch that stupid basketball game.

Maggie always had such enthusiasm for my skills as a parent.

Yes, a long time ago.

But frankly, Jason, and I'll just say it, I've been faking my enthusiasm for

years.

Jason, have you heard a word I've said?

Did the Knicks win that game or is my memory faulty?

me, and you can turn off the phony tears.

Chrissy, we are talking about responsibility here.

Now, I'm going to tell you something, and someday you'll thank me for this.

I gave him that one.

Is that who you really are? A bratty, spoiled little pain in the rear?

Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy, be yourself.

Gave him that one, too.

And these two people are the best darn parents in the world, but do you

appreciate it? No.

Let me share something with you.

You know, it took me 15 years to figure out that...

Everything they told me was right.

And everything I thought was completely wrong.

Now grow up. Go upstairs and get started on your homework.

I get straight A's.

Is that the best you can do?

hear him quoting you there, Maggie.

Well, when I heard you two were in trouble, I left the office and got here

quick as I could.

Oh, Mike, I've been meaning to ask you, what is it that you actually do?

Well, I don't really know.

I'm very successful.

up, Mike?

I should have known. I left work early for nothing.

Ben, what is it you do again?

I work for Mike.

As Dad has said over and over, it doesn't really matter what we do because

family. We rally together and we love you guys.

Why else would we all still be living in this house?

Jason, this is like a dream come true.

Oh, if it's a dream, I don't want to wake up, Maggie.

What? Wake up, Maggie. What? Wake up, Maggie.

Wake up, Maggie.

Wake up, Maggie. Maggie, wake up. Wake up, Maggie.

Jason, you're so young.

Thank you.

Oh, and Chrissy's still a baby?

Yeah. Oh, and I'm young, too?

That's not Elizabeth.

We get through to our kids. It doesn't always seem like it, but we do. Even

dumb lectures sink in. And, honey, it's okay if we get old. I mean, it's not,

but when we do, we can count on our kids. And I love you, and I want to grow

with you.

Dumb lectures?

Wait a minute.

What are all those cars doing pulling into our driveway?

Mike's got about 30 kids going up to his place. Maggie, I'm going to put a stop

to that. Oh, Jason, don't be too rough on him. We're going to need him to save

the day after we've lost it.

Oh, and, honey, one more thing.

I have never, ever faked my enthusiasm for you.

That's a good thing for a guy to know.

Oh, Chrissy!

What's that?

Nope, nope.

We'll be back in a moment.