All language subtitles for Growing Pains s05e04 Fish Bait

Make breakfast? Coffee?

Wake up? You better wake up first.

I made breakfast?

Did I make coffee?

I did.

I wonder what else I've done this
morning.

Hey, good morning, Dad.

Mike, you're up. Yep.

I've overslept. It must be noon.

Dad, it's only 6 .30.

Oh, well, that's terrific, Mike. Your
very first day of the new semester, and

you decide to stay out all night. That's
very smart.

Dad, I did not stay out all night. Well,
I call 6 .30 a .m. staying out all

night. Dad, I didn't just sit in. Look,
I woke up early, and I made breakfast.

Who's the girl, Mike?

Dad, do you see a girl in here?

No, I'm talking about the girl in your
apartment that you got up early to make

breakfast for. Dad, I got up early
because I am excited about my first day

class.

So any class in particular?

Yeah, Dad.

Look, introduction to acting. I mean,
Dad, this class is not just a bunch of

books and papers and other pointless,
useless garbage that Carol lives for. I

mean, all that we do is act.

Jason, who are you a hind to at this
hour?

Well, Mike got up early, he made
breakfast, and he's excited about a

Where is she?

Mom, come on.

So, what

about the acting class?

one in that class didn't start till
noon.

That's it. He's taking a nude acting
class.

Mike's in a nude acting class?

Yeah. Yeah, but I'm in a nude acting
class. And I've got a girl hidden up in

room, plus a spare one stashed under the
counter, and I've made breakfast.

They're all yours. Take your pick.

Testing out the acoustics here. Mike.

Mike.

Sounds good to me.

Mike Seaver. Tony DiStefio. Hi.

So, you ready for this class?

Oh, I sure am. I'll tell you the truth.

I've never been early for a class in my
whole life. No.

Except that nude photography course last
year.

I don't remember you in nude photography
one.

I was in two.

Hey,

listen, wait. Before I get to like you.

You're not one of these big -deal actors
with a list of credits from here to

Broadway just slumming in this class.

Oh, no, no, no. I've only done a couple
of things.

Off -Broadway.

Off -Broadway.

All I got is a couple seasons of summer
stock.

Oh, whoa.

Now there's some summer stock.

Oh, so I guess you two know each other.

Hi, my name is Mike Seaver.

Kate McDonald. Nice to meet you, Mike.

Pleasure's all mine.

Well, okay, it's mostly Tony's.

So, uh, what do you guys hear about this
teacher?

Well, I understand that Professor Thorne
is a master of the Strasberg method.

Oh, well, heck, that's good to know. I
mean, any one of us chokes on our gum,

got it covered.

Now, why did you believe that you were
about to be scolded?

You.

Uh, because, um, well, because I've had
teachers do that to me.

Because you were acting.

Precisely.

Good morning, everyone.

My name is Professor Peter Thorne, and
welcome to Drama 102.

You just had your first lesson in how to
make an entrance.

Oh, and you're laughing at my jokes
already. Very good.

Tony, did you hear? There's no papers or
texts or anything. Oh, just in case. I

want to look up something later.

So, is acting merely the ability to
memorize lines and not bump into the

furniture? Oh, by the way, you should
all know who said that.

Spencer Tracy.

Very good.

I hope you'll agree with me that it's
incorrect.

But that's all acting is.

So,

what exactly is acting?

Is it something you see on a stage?

Maybe. Something you see in the cinema?
Sometimes.

Something you see on television?

Doubtful. And so, throughout this...
Throughout this semester, we will be

drawing upon standards from the masters.

Masters you're all familiar with. O
'Neill, Ionesco, early Pinter, middle

Strindberg, late Ibsen.

Not to say there aren't others.

I write, can't I be?

Who was that last master's guy's name?

Ibsen.

Ibsen.

I -B -S -E -N.

Now, you do know who he is, don't you?

Oh, sure, sure.

He was the old guy in Beverly
Hillbillies, Buddy Ibsen.

I see.

And what is your name, young man?

Mike Seaver.

Mr. Seaver, you either A, have a lot to
learn, B, don't know when to make a

joke, or C, A and B.

Is there a D?

We'll have to wait until the grades at
you, won't we, Mr. Seaver?

Hey, Mike, you want to spit some out?
No, thanks, Benny. I've got a long

reading ahead of me, all right? Mike,
Mom and Dad aren't around. Don't pull

stuff with me. Benny, listen, it's true.

Yes, she's crying about a music.

Oh, well, listen, I've got to see her.

On purpose? Yeah, I need to use her
dictionary.

The 50 -pound one? The bug killer?

Yeah. Yeah, Benny, that's the one. The
roach is back, huh?

Benny, look, I have to look up a few
words.

Uh, well, hey, nothing gets by you,
Benny.

You know, if you go upstairs and you ask
Carol for that dictionary, I'll let you

squish the ones in the pizza box.

Deal. All right.

What are you surprising me with tonight?

Well, I thought maybe after the kids
went to sleep, we could, uh... Sloppy

Joe's! Hey,

Mike. Hey.

How's that acting class you were all
excited about?

Oh, uh, it's, uh, great, Dad. It's
great.

What are those?

Um, they're books, Mom.

Yeah, it's cool having a paper drive.

No, Dad, this is, uh, some stuff I just
want to read tonight.

Oh, that's good. You're acting now,
right?

Very convincing.

Look, Dad, is it that unbelievable that
I want to take home a few thousand pages

to read for my own amusement?

Well, I'm sorry, Mike. I didn't know you
were so serious.

Well, I am, Dad. No.

I mean, look, I may not be as well -read
as Carol. I may not be as academically

inclined as Carol. I may not be as smart
as Carol. May not be?

Carol, this is not the time to make fun
of your brother.

I'll take him where I can get him.

Here.

Clean up the roach guts when you're
finished.

Carol, I am not killing bugs, all right?
I'm looking up words. Big one. Big,

humongous words. Giant words. Words no
one's even heard of.

As hard as that is to comprehend.

Well, I have never seen Mike like that.

Whatever's wrong, I can fix it. No,
honey, no. Wait, wait. He's 19 years

Come on, you gotta give him a chance to
try to work out whatever's bothering him

on his own.

Gotta have a little faith in him.

Jason, this is Mike we're talking about.

I said a little, babe.

And so, my fellow actors, I trust you
all have audition... Sorry,

I'm late.

And so, my fellow actors, I trust you
all have audition opportunities to share

with each other this morning.

The East Village rep is holding tryouts
for Oedipus next week.

Oh, wonderful challenge for the young
actor.

And if any of you boys should be lucky
enough to get cast in Oedipus, don't

forget to invite your mother.

I heard they're holding auditions for
After the Fall this weekend at the Soho

Theater in the alley.

It's a wonderful play.

Arthur Miller's best.

Don't you agree, Mr. Seaver?

Uh, well, uh, actually, um, I prefer
Death of a Salesman.

Yeah, so do I.

That's the one I read last night.

So, any more auditions?

Mr. Seaver. Yeah, I read that they're
having auditions tomorrow for McGregor's

Fish and Chips.

McGregor's Fish and Chips.

Is that the new mammoth play?

Oh, no, no, sir. That's the old
restaurant. I mean, you know their

Our fish don't stink.

Somehow that one got by me.

Oh, yeah, well, it says right here, play
Swimmy the Happy Fish.

Twelve commercials, personal
appearances, big money. A television

What will you have for us tomorrow, Mr.
Seaver? Something for a sitcom?

But don't you have to start somewhere?

Somewhere, Mr. Seaver. Not nowhere.

Hey, look, when you go, say hi to Buddy
Ipsen for me.

enough frivolity, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's loosen up with another exercise.

Move the desk for me, please.

And I shall want you all in two teams.

Mr. Seaver, you shouldn't be here.

Oh, but sir, I'm sorry, but this is what
I've always wanted to do. No, no, no. I

mean, I'm going to demonstrate the
exercise from here. You'll have to move.

Oh.

Oh. Right.

He didn't show up for dinner, dessert,
or even a snack.

That's it. It's been 27 hours. I've been
a good sport, but now it's time to find

out what's bothering my little boy.
Maggie, honey. Don't say anything

correct that I'll know was right in my
heart of hearts. Honey, I was just going

to say.

Jason, sometimes you amaze me. Our
little boy's in agony, and you're about

stuff your face.

Where are you going?

I'm taking Mike a snack.

But you said it was a bad idea to go up
there. Yes, I know. I'm inconsistent,

Maggie.

the wackiness that makes me so damn
interesting.

When he himself might his quietest make
with a bear bodkin,

who would fartles bear?

There's only one word in the sentence. I
don't have to look up.

Come in.

We brought you something to eat.

Oh, uh, thanks. Just put it down. I'll
get to it later.

What do we do now?

Hey, Maggie, I got us this far, didn't
I?

So, Mike, you're studying, I see.

Yep.

When he himself might his quietus make
with a bear botkin, who would fartles

bear? To grunt and sweat under a weary
life.

Am I the only guy on this planet who
does not get this Hamlet junk?

You know, if you ask me, this does not
speak very well of the education that I

got at Dewey High School.

Well, maybe you just weren't paying
attention the day they covered that.

Well, maybe if it was so important,
they'd cover it for two days.

If you'll excuse me, I have to get back
to some more of this reading that I

probably won't understand.

Mike, honey, if it'll make you feel
better, I don't have a clue what a

is.

Well, the kids in my class do understand
this stuff.

You know, and some of them have even
done plays by checkoff.

Until two days ago, I thought Chekhov
was the Russian guy on Star Trek.

You can't know every play that's ever
been written.

Tell me about it, Mom.

I've been up till 3 a .m. reading these
stupid things, and I made a bigger fool

out of myself in class today than I did
yesterday.

If I keep reading this stuff, they're
going to lynch me.

Mike, what if you only thought you were
making a fool of yourself, and you

really weren't?

A lot of times your father thinks he's
made a total fool out of himself, and,

uh...

What else happened in class?

All right.

Okay, today, like, I brought in this
audition, this audition notice for a

television commercial.

A real job.

McGregor's Fish and Chips.

Oh, I know their commercial.

If it smells bad, you're in the wrong
place.

Or something like that.

Dad, now you see how you and I are
staring at Mom like she is out of her

Well, Dad, the whole class stared at me
today.

You know, I just don't get it. I don't
get it. You know, I feel like I don't

even fit in.

And I have always been able to fit in
with everybody.

And at Dewey, I mean, even though
Principal DeWitt would punish me for

years every single day, I know that deep
down, the man liked me.

He loathed you.

He did.

Well, it's just that the kids in my
class know more and have done more than

ever will.

You know, maybe I'm just... kidding
myself about this whole acting thing.

So what are you going to do about it?

I don't know. I'm supposed to ask you
that.

Well, we can't answer that, Mike. Speak
for yourself, Jason.

No, honey. He's not a little boy. He's
got to make his own decisions. I think,

Mike, that this is your dream and only
you can decide if the pain is worth it.

So is it worth it?

Mike, you're going to have to figure
this out on your own.

I can be wacky, too.

Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go.

I don't know where was I.

Oh, yeah, I was looking up Bodden.

If I do improve and

make a big change...

Would you be? I mean, could you be? I am
now.

I always have been.

So I guess this is a pretty important
talk we've been having.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay, this isn't Oedipus, this isn't
Hamlet, it's not even Death of a

but it's a start. It's not nowhere, it
is somewhere, and I am not too good to

make my start right here, today, now.

Fish or chip?

What? What are you auditioning for, fish
or chip?

Oh, well, uh, are the chips making
personal appearances?

Who'd come out to see a chip, huh?

You're gonna see Swimmy, the happy fish.

Oh, all right, well then, uh, Swimmy it
is.

Excellent choice. Have a seat. Thanks.
Break a fin.

Is this seat taken?

My friend auditioned for this a little
earlier and told me all about it. They

make you wear fins and gills and lie on
your stomach and grin like crazy with a

hook in your mouth while all the chips
sing, our fish don't stink.

Well, uh, hey, whatever they make me do
is fine because after the way I've been

humiliated this week, it doesn't matter.

Whoa, so you're married?

Whoa!

Look at the gills on that one.

Hey, wait a minute.

I know them.

they doing here?

I mean, they've been in plays and summer
stock.

And they laughed at me when I told them
about this audition.

I mean, they're no better than I am.

Boy, have I been a chump.

Go home, people. The part of Swimmy has
already been cast.

What? Hey, I've been eating worms for
three days.

Once again, gentlemen, very clever
material.

I just hope my Swimmy lives up to your
vision.

seemed at all.

Apparently, not a lot of people are.

Wait.

I, uh... Why don't we just start over?

My name's Mike Cedar.

I've done two plays my whole life.

Both in high school.

Tony DeCipio. And I have done
Summerstock.

I built scenery.

Kate McDonald.

Yeah, and, um... I'm not used to this
honesty stuff. It's gonna take a while.

Me too.

Oh, me too.

Hey, I just called my service. New York
Zoo's looking for people that look like

walruses. It's not right for me, but I
figured I'd toss it your way.

Make breakfast.

Make coffee.

Oh, you guys, don't worry. I'm not just
getting home, okay?

Don't worry.

We believe in you.

Yeah, I'm just thrilled that you're
excited about your class.

Any class.

Oh, you bet. Thanks.

And you guys letting me make that
decision on my own, it's really changed

life. Well, Mike, I guess we can finally
say that we trust you.

Oh, well, thanks, Mom.

Mike!

We're still waiting for the coffee.

Oh, uh, just one minute. One second.

Let me help you.

Here, come on out here. I'll be right
up, okay?

Look, Mike.

Mom, Dad, listen.

You know, if I weren't in that stage in
life where you trusted me and wanted me

to make my own decisions, then I would
feel the need to explain here.

But I don't.

Hold on a second. You think you can walk
out of here without... Gotcha.

We'll be back in a moment.