Original subtitles

Mike, go.

Time to go, all right.

Mike, I'm Chrissy's nanny. I don't want your parents walking in on us making

out. I just wanted to hear you say, making out. Good night.

All right. Oh, and one more thing. Mike. Just kidding.

So, Julie, how'd you make out?

Make out?

With Chrissy.

Oh, fine, fine.

Everybody, how was dinner?

Wonderful. Well, thanks again, Jason, for picking up the check. Oh, don't even

mention it. Actually, Maggie insists.

You're welcome, Wally.

So, Julie, have you seen Mike tonight?

Uh, no.

I haven't seen him all evening. It's just been me and Chrissy.

Hey, Mom.

Yeah, when the heck did you guys get home?

Grandma, Wally, what are you doing here?

Your father won't let us leave until we pay half the check.

Go on, Grandma. Hey, Julie, here's the story you asked for.

I thought you hadn't seen him all evening.

We have some major family news to talk about. Yeah? About what?

Well, a loving couple that has come a very long way in just a few short

Uh, do I know him?

Yes,

it seems that your grandmother and, uh... Wally. Wally?

Have set a wedding date.

All right, Grandma.

Yeah, this is exactly two weeks from tomorrow. On a cruise to the Caribbean.

And on the very same boat that they met and fell in love. Oh.

And the whole family's invited.

Yeah, my treat.

Unless you think I'm going overboard.

Got it?

Overboard?

Oh, and Julia, I had an idea. If you can take the time, we'd love for you to

come with us and help with Chrissy.

An ocean cruise to the Caribbean?

Mm -hmm.

Oh, and Wally, you can't pay for all of us and Julie. Oh, I insist.

I know, Wally, but I think that it... Maggie, the man insists.

I'll pick up the next cruise.

promised. Did I say anything negative?

Well, I believe in our discussion you also force her eyebrow lifts, squints,

throat clears, and bulging eyes.

But Maggie... And butts.

Especially big butts.

Pardon me? Honey, if you can't give your mother your blessing, at least give her

a silent smile.

Well, she hardly needs my blessing, Maggie.

Simply because you're near me.

Not

a

bad commute.

Mike, listen to this.

Hey. Fun activities for the whole family.

Shuffleboard, a ping pong tournament, and every Tuesday night a limbo -thon.

Ooh.

Mike, there's got to be something we can do on this ship.

Yep, Benny, there's got to be.

And I'm not going to rest until I find it.

Me either.

Maybe it's out here, Maggie.

Women, one suitcase is too many and a thousand is not enough.

That was close.

No, this is close.

That's not yellow.

That's canary.

Your shirt is yellow.

I thought it was golden red.

Well, that must be Mom's or Wally's.

Mom, is this your canary?

What's that about a canary, dear?

Bag.

I think that Jason was a little upset about what we were doing.

What were we doing?

Hmm. Making out?

I know.

I just wanted to hear you say making out.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Last time, you're too young, so stay out.

Yeah, the only reason you're throwing me out is because I was winning.

Man, there's got to be something I'm old enough to do.

Limbo phone, beer drink. Young man, would you like...

Maureen, your ship's kids officer.

What's your name?

Ben Seaver.

Seaver. Seaver, Seaver, Seaver, Seaver. It might be under Wally Overmyer. The

Overmyer wedding party?

I just met them.

They're such a cute couple.

I'm taking care of all the bridal arrangements.

I'm also your ship's social director.

Hey, let me show you our darned exciting playroom. You want to make a potholder

for your mom?

Oh, that's okay.

ship's linguist. This is the University of Stockholm's gymnastics team.

Wow.

What should I say? What should I say?

I'll have to show them to the pool.

I'll do it. I'm your ship's hornball.

Ladies.

So Wally had no place to eat, but I just happened to have an empty seat.

And the rest is history.

Is this what you propose?

Kevin, out on the balcony.

Under a full moon.

Did I miss lunch?

Yes, Ben. Ben, you're all wet.

Tell me about it.

Well, go change into some dry clothes.

That's all right. I think I'll just try swimming in my trunks for a change.

Neither of you has ever been on a cruise before.

Uh, no.

Grandma, Mom, the bachelorette party is in less than an hour, and you don't.

Want to be late.

That's all I'm saying.

Carol's such a good girl.

I wonder what she's got planned. Oh, I wonder.

Mom?

Yes, dear?

I have a little something for you.

A wedding gift? Well, it's not a gift so much, but yes, it is for the wedding.

Oh.

We'll be right with you. Can you give us just one minute?

Well, Jason, what is it?

Well, Mom, you know, marriage is a wonderful, beautiful thing.

Mm -hmm.

the opposite of marriage.

Divorce.

That's a horrible, ugly thing, Mom.

And God forbid it should ever happen to you and Wally after you get married,

but, uh, well, just, I would like you to have the peace of mind that something

like this would provide.

What's this?

Uh, just a little something I had my lawyer whip up.

It's really very simple.

Standard prenuptial agreement.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I think as soon as you get over your initial reaction, you're going to see

the wisdom.

What's the matter?

Wally, I think I need some air.

Why not? What do you say?

So, uh, see you two kids in rehearsal.

What?

Wasn't I polite all through lunch?

What do you say you and me both have our own private little lifeboat drill

tonight? Maybe we can.

Carol invited me to the bachelorette party. I have to go.

Why? How's my bachelorette?

It's totally free after 7 o 'clock.

Oh, what a coincidence. I'm a bachelor. It's totally free after 7 o 'clock.

Oh, it's always nice to see young married people with a cute little baby.

Oh, we're not married.

Hey, mind if I drive?

Hold on, Chrissy. I feel very close to you right now, Mike.

Hey, well, you are.

I'm serious.

I'm falling in love with you.

Well, come on in. The water's fine.

Oh, a nice young married couple.

We're just... Thank you.

It's easier.

Mike, where are you?

I'm right back here at 7.

Mike, where are you?

Hey, Benny, I'm right over here.

Mike, this is so cool.

Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.

Mike, Mike, Mike, you will not believe this. Today is our lucky day. What? What

is it? Mike, there are 20 of the hottest babes in the world on this boat.

So? We're talking Swedish blonde gymnasts. Hey, look, there's much more

woman than the way she looks, all right?

I mean, you've got to take into account all kinds of things, like her

personality and her intelligence.

And, uh... And her, uh... Uh...

Uh... Uh, what was I saying?

Oh, who's saying it?

Jason, I have an idea. Why don't you just stink bomb your mother's

party?

Come on, Maggie.

Prenuptial agreements are not exactly unheard of. Well, I wouldn't exactly

it a romantic gift.

Well, sometimes romance doesn't last forever.

Jason, don't give me straight lines like that.

Can you blame a son for trying to look out for his mother's best interest?

Yes, I can.

Chrissy, if you're ever going to have gas, now's the time.

You would think Jason would know better.

What was he thinking?

What a boob. Irma, that boob is my husband.

Sorry.

Your bachelorette party is almost ready. Just give me ten seconds.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's with Grandma?

Oh, your dad did something stupid.

What was he thinking?

What a boob. Mom, that boob is my father.

Sorry.

You know, Irma.

No matter what Jason does.

No matter how silly or twisted or borderline nut bar, he does have a love

you.

You're right, Maggie.

And you can't let him spoil this week for you.

True. Come on.

This is not appropriate entertainment. That's right. It was underneath you as

soon as he finished.

20 Swedish girls, and I can't do a thing about them.

Thanks, Benny. I'd rather stay up here and watch.

From a safe distance.

Ease world tensions.

but he was part of the magical night that we met.

And we just couldn't tie the knot without the prince.

The king.

Now then, pay attention.

This is the aisle.

And these are the chairs.

And this is a very unhappy man.

No, I'm not unhappy. No, I was actually just thinking of a way I might

apologize. I got everybody so upset with that whole prenuptial thing and...

Please just forget I ever brought it up, okay? Oh, Jason, that's so nice.

Thank you, Jason.

Isn't he a sweetheart?

Yo.

Hey. Jason.

Wally. It's gonna be Grandpa Wally after tomorrow.

Grandpa Wally.

The last thing I wanted to do is upset anybody, really. I just wanted to make

sure no one had any lingering suspicions that Wally might be some kind of gold

digger on a pension dragging an emotionally vulnerable woman.

That's it.

Let's have some fun.

Lingering suspicion.

Gold digger on a pension.

An emotionally vulnerable woman. Enough said.

Okay, maybe I should apologize for my apology now. No, no, don't. No, no, no,

just a minute here. Well, forget it. See, it's for me.

Thanks.

Isn't he a sweet...

Lower. Lower.

Ah.

You know, Ben, I just realized.

This is the first time in my life I've been touched by eight female hands at

same time.

Second for me.

Yeah, right. When did four girls put suntan lotion on you at night?

Well, hello.

Julie.

Julie. Oh, that's funny.

Julie. Julie, look, it's not what it looks like, all right?

Hey, Benny, Benny, look what it is. It's Julie.

What is it, then?

Well, I was just helping some foreigners.

with their first difficult days in America.

We're in international waters.

Yeah, well, if I'd known that an hour ago, I wouldn't be here.

You expect me to believe that you didn't stand me up to get griefed down by a

million other women?

Mikey, you do me now, y 'all.

I trusted you.

Listen, you'll have to start without me, all right? Well, maybe I should, too.

Would you keep it down? Keep it down? Yes, come on.

I mean, Ben is right over there, you know.

relationship what relationship Julie Julie

and

then your ship's captain will stand here and say if anyone among us knows

why this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony speak now or forever hold

your peace

I was thinking of something else totally, please. Go on. Look, pal, I've

just about enough of your hooey. Wally!

Irma, I can't take this.

Look, no matter what Jason says or does, he's doing it out of love.

This isn't about your son, the boob.

This is about you and me and our life together.

You know, it's time we forgot your goofy family.

What?

Well, at least my goofy family had the courtesy to show up.

Oh, and that's a good thing.

Don't you talk to me in that tone.

Can we just table this conversation and get on with the rehearsal? Shut up.

Don't you tell my son to shut up. Irma, Wally, why don't you just calm down?

We're losing sight of why we're here.

Doreen, why don't you just... And then your ship's captain will ask you two to

step forward and take each other for life.

For life?

Well, you make it sound like an alternative to the death penalty.

Well, maybe you would like a...

Well, maybe I would like a helicopter.

Well, don't wait for the helicopter.

Swim for it.

This is exactly the kind of unforeseen situation prenuptial agreements are

designed to protect you against.

accommodations provided by Carnival Cruise Line, the most popular cruise in

world.