Original subtitles

Still no sign of Mike.

I'm going to call the police.

And what are you going to say? It's 3 a .m. and our 18 -year -old son isn't home

yet?

You're right.

You're right. He's in junior college, for God's sake. That's right.

It's not like he's a baby anymore.

Maggie,

if you're not going to call the police, I will.

I really thought all this was behind us. Now, now. Hi, guys. Hi.

Mike!

Wait a minute. Where have you been? It's a school night.

We were terrified something happened to you.

Well, nothing did. Good night.

Mike, sit.

Come on. We want to know where you've been since your last class.

All right. Look, I'm sorry. I didn't plan on being this late.

It's not my fault that the lift broke.

Look, we don't care whose fault. What lift?

Oh, the ski lift.

Why were you on a ski lift?

What would you want me to do, Mom? Walk up the slopes?

We want you to be at Alf Landon Junior College, Mike. Not on slopes.

What slopes?

Oh, come on. Does that really matter, Dad?

Yes. Where did you go?

North.

We'd like a little more to go on, Mike.

Okay, I went to Lake Placid.

Mike, Lake Placid is over 200 miles away.

Which is another reason why I'm so late.

What do you guys want me to do? Get a speeding ticket?

All right, let's cut the tap dance, Mike. Dad, Dad, Dad.

All right, now, look, I was at college, right? And me and a couple of the guys

were hanging out at Landon Lair discussing philosophy and junk like that

somebody mentioned that they got the first decent snow at Lake Placid. So

I didn't have an afternoon class, we decided... You have sociology on

Wednesdays. No, no, no, I dropped that doofus class weeks ago.

So anyway... I'm on my way up the lift for the last run of the day before we

head home when, boom, this whole snowbank just falls right on the tow

it stops us dead halfway up the mountain. So there I am, stranded,

very real possibility of freezing to death.

You dropped sociology.

Yeah, so... And you think that now that you're in college you can just do

whatever you like, come and go whenever you want, no questions asked?

Pretty much, yeah.

How do you expect to be awake for economics in five hours?

I did, I did. I am not nearly as irresponsible as you think.

It just so happens that I've dropped that class, too.

So anyway. So you dropped two classes without even telling us.

Mom, it's not like I'm keeping it from you.

I mean, hey, college doesn't mind if I drop a class here or there.

Heck, I even got a professor who told me that if I don't care about his class,

don't come.

I'm what?

Grounded. Remember grounded?

No dates, no parties, no life.

Dad, can I ground an 18 -year -old college man?

No, I'm grounding an 18 -year -old ski bum.

But, Dad, grounding is for kids. Well, that's exactly what you are.

Mom, can you believe he just said that to me?

To me, a guy old enough to die for his country.

Maybe sooner than he thinks.

You get this. What the heck is going on around here? We just want you to behave

like the adult that you are, Mike.

Oh, so now you admit that I am an adult.

Well, let me put it to you this way, all right? As long as you live under this

roof, you live under my rules.

Our rules?

Yes. Well, then fine. Then maybe I won't live under this roof. Fine. Fine. Fine.

Fine.

Starting tomorrow.

Hannah, this has to be done.

Then before you move out, there's some things I want you to have. Hey, Benny,

look, I... Shut up! You feed me like gum all my life, but you're only before my

guts. Just listen.

Okay.

Here's something to remember me by. It's a picture of me and you at the beach at

Maui.

Oh, that's funny. I only see me.

You were holding me under. That's my hands laying around, see?

Oh, nice.

Yeah, we had some good times.

Yeah, we sure did.

Thanks, Benny.

What's that?

$43, my birthday money from Grandpa.

Benny, come on. I can't take your money. Grandpa told me to save it for a rainy

day, and this is the rainiest day I've ever had.

Are you done now?

Almost. Mike, please don't go! Please, please, please!

Come here.

Come here. Sit down.

All right, now look. Do you really think that I would leave you here all alone

with Carol?

You mean you're taking...

part of my plan, Benny, my boy. Have you ever known your brother to do something

without a plan?

Sure, lots of times.

Okay, well, I'm moving into my car.

Doesn't sound like much of a plan.

Well, just for one night. Y 'all be out there fighting the bitter cold, the

victim of fatherly cruelty.

Why just for one night?

Well, think about it, Ben. What is Dad's major weakness?

Expensive haircuts?

No, I said major.

Uh, mom.

See, Mom will see me out there freezing and get Dad to cave in.

I bet it won't even take a whole night. In fact, I'd be surprised if Mom even

lets me get out the front door.

And then Dad will beg me to stay on my terms.

Wow. I don't take a stand now.

Dad's just going to treat me like a kid my whole life.

Look, if we don't take a stand now, he'll act like a kid his whole life.

Jason, aren't you being a tad irrational?

How can you say that?

Okay, okay, but have you thought about how this will traumatize Ben and Carol?

I'm going to set the dinner table.

Thank you, Carol.

Could I throw a mic at you to say now there's history?

Sure, why not?

Great.

Carol seems to be bearing up rather well.

Jason, where will he live?

I'll tell you, Maggie.

Here.

In the same pigsty of a room he lives in now.

I'm not following this at all. Look, I don't want him to move out, and he

doesn't want to move out either.

He's trying to bluff us, Maggie, and I'm going to call his bluff.

Jason Seaver is one savvy poker player.

Sure, Ben, you can walk me to the front door.

Now, we need to present a united front on this one, agreed?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well,

I guess I'll be seeing you.

Guess so.

if I turn Mike's room into an exercise room?

What?

That's a good idea, honey.

Thanks. You can at least have the decency to wait until the body's cold.

Life goes on.

Mike, do you have a forwarding address?

Uh, yeah.

BLA -523.

What?

My license plate.

Pardon me?

Yes, Mother.

I'm going to live...

In my vehicle.

Jason is going to live in his vehicle.

Well, I trust your vehicle won't be parked in my driveway.

What? Well, moving out generally means off the premises.

Jason, this thing has gone too far.

Maggie. No, Mike.

You can live in your car on my half of the driveway.

Living room.

Rumpus room.

Home, sweet home.

Boy, is it freezing out here.

Thank you, Carol, for that startling weather bulletin. Now get out.

Mike, don't you think I know what you're doing?

Carol, I don't even think you know what you're doing.

I have no intention of really moving out. I just want to guilt Dad into

in so he can live here and goof off.

You really don't know me at all, do you, Carol?

Don't get out. Look, I agree that it's silly for a college student to be

grounded like some child.

An 18 -year -old should feel free to come and go as he or she pleases.

Oh, so I get it. So you're not on my side because I'm your brother and you

about me, but because you turn 18 next year and you want to grease the track

yourself.

You really don't know me at all, do you?

Carol, your selfishness sickens me.

You'll get over it. The point is that we both have an interest in getting Dad to

give you the kind of freedom that all 18 -year -olds so richly deserve.

And I can help.

Here's some tasty treats to help keep your strength up.

Carol, these are still frozen.

Just start your car, set it on the engine, and in 20 minutes you've got hot

ravioli. And just remember, I'm with you on this.

Spirit, anyway.

It's cold out there.

Anything going on in the world I should know about?

Teenage boy banished by juvenile father freezes.

Film at 11.

Juvenile. Well, Maggie, I am a highly trained mental health practitioner,

schooled in the complexities of the adolescent psyche.

Now, one may agree or disagree with my strategy, but I am being anything but

juvenile. The weather service is calling for a major snowfall in Long Island

tonight. Ow!

Yes!

I'm going upstairs to read. Maggie, come on. I meant, you know, the farmers

here, they need the snow.

The farmers?

Well, there is a drought going on in this country, Maggie, and I think we

to be concerned about people with bigger problems than our own.

You do that.

Hello, Snow.

Who does he think he's dealing with, anyway?

Oh, Walt Snow.

All right.

I got him right where I want him.

Who does he think he's dealing with, anyway?

If you insist, Mom, I guess I'll come inside. No, you can't come inside.

No?

Well, I was only thinking of you, Mom.

Are you hungry, Mike?

Oh, no.

No, it's too cold to chew.

Are you sure?

Yeah. Yeah, oh, Mom, here.

You, uh, you better go inside.

You'll catch your death.

And tell Dad that I'll be fine.

I can't tell your father I'm out here.

I just want to tell you that there's a space heater in the storage room above

the garage.

Oh, but...

That would be using Dad's electricity, and that would be so wrong.

But thanks anyway.

Well, Mike, you do what you have to do.

Working like a dog.

Come on, Mike, have some sense.

Freezing. Freezing? I didn't mean freezing. I meant fine.

No wonder she's freezing.

It's snowing in her room.

All right, so I went out to check on Mike. So sue me.

Honey, I'm just as concerned about Mike as you are. But he's got an important

lesson to learn here. And you know, Mike, he doesn't learn easy. I know.

bullheaded like his father.

Oh, so what do you suggest?

We just let him blow college?

He'll be 40 years old. We'll still be buying his Lyft tickets.

We'll start knocking over convenience stores. Get arrested.

Do you have time for a trial? What with the new baby and your work and all

the... Jason, you are being a wacko. Now, I agree that we have to get him

straightened out.

But can't you just be honest with him? Do you have to trick him? We have to

Mike a message.

This is it. Make no mistake where you are. This is it. The waiting is over.

You're basing your actions on a song by the Doobie Brothers?

No. Well, I hope not.

That is a Kenny Loggins tune.

Michael McDonald sang on it, so a lot of people think it was a Doobie Brothers

record, but no. Jason! Okay, I'll talk to him.

Actually, it's a Kenny Loggins tune.

Okay, fine.

You know, you're bullheaded.

Like your mother.

But come on, we call a ceasefire, okay? Let's go inside and talk about it.

Hmm?

See, you're way ahead of me.

You can't live under my rules. Oh, Dad, I was just... Oh, here I was all worried

about you out in the snow.

But now you're here, you got the TV blasting, warm as toast. You don't have

care in the world.

Well, Dad, I wasn't up until a minute ago. I mean, I was outside, cold,

hungry. Pizza.

What?

Dad, I did not order that pizza. Well, if you think I'm paying for that, you're

nuts. Oh, hey, relax, pal. It's already paid for by Maggie Thiever.

Maggie's fever? Well, doesn't that just figure?

Mike, get inside right now.

Dad, I... Well, hey, what? Don't you want it? I told you, it's already paid

Nice tip.

All right, Mike, why don't we just lay all our cards on the table now? Fine.

Fine. Are you two going to go through this fine, fine business again?

Here's your pizza.

Jason, it was so cold, and he looked so hungry.

Well, the last thing I'm worried about right now is pizza.

What pizza?

Ben, this doesn't concern you. Go to bed.

Is Mike still kicked out?

Mike's not kicked out.

Then it worked.

What worked?

Um, nothing. Certainly not Mike's plan.

Mike, you're not fooling anybody. I'm not stupid.

I know you didn't intend to live in your car.

You're just putting on that pathetic little act so that I'd cave in.

Well, Dad, I would not use the term cave in.

What's all this shouting about? You guys are going to wake the baby.

Carol, we are having a discussion with your brother. Do you mind?

Not in the least.

Oh.

Well, before I go upstairs, I want to say something.

What is it, Carol?

Well, as delighted as I am to see Mike out of my house, I do believe that an 18

-year -old is legally endowed with certain inalienable rights.

And among these are... You want to hear what I believe, Carol?

What? I believe that you're not so concerned about Mike's rights as you are

about the fact that you're going to turn 18 next year and you're thinking about

your personal freedom. Now, am I getting warm?

Good night, Carol.

Smooth, real smooth.

All right, where were we?

Oh, you were just saying that Mike was putting on an act. You know, sort of the

same thing the old savvy poker player was doing.

What? Okay, I admit it. I didn't want you to move out, Mike, any more than you

wanted to move.

Finally, the truth.

I just couldn't bear to watch you fritter away your first semester in

Dropping classes left and right and waltzing in and out as late as you

and making your mother and I worried sick about where you are every night.

Well, first of all, I did not fritter, okay? I barely fine -tuned my class

schedule.

And I did not waltz in here.

I don't even know how to waltz.

I can't live with you like this, Mike. And I can't live with your stupid rules

that haven't changed since I've been a toddler.

And they won't until you change. Well, fine. Fine. Great.

Now we're back to fine.

I mean, two bullheaded know -it -alls staring each other down, neither one

willing to admit that the other one just might have a point.

Jason, we need to present a united front on this one.

All right.

Maybe it's not appropriate for someone your age to be grounded.

Exactly. That's what I've been trying to say all along.

What?

Now it's your turn to concede a point. Mom, I have nothing to concede.

Okay. Okay, maybe scaring you guys by not telling you where I was was a little

wrong. You bet it was wrong.

And maybe a college man should have a little leeway in making his own

And I guess I could run it by you before I drop classes.

But just to hear your advice.

This is all I ask.

Now we're getting somewhere.

See?

Isn't this fun?

Boy, I sure didn't think you'd send your own son out there to freeze.

Mike, the only reason I sent you out there to freeze was because I love you.

I hate to see how you treat a stranger.

Mike. Well, if a stranger moved in here, I wouldn't care where he went or what

he did.

Or how he screwed up his education. Oh, Jason.

Oh, yeah, well, if a stranger moved in, then you wouldn't expect him to live by

your stupid rules, either.

No, but I'd expect him to pay rent, then.

Well, beat the heck out of being grounded. Oh, you think so?

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. What did you say?

Beat the heck out of being grounded.

No, no, no, no. Not you. You.

Oh, you think so?

Oh, yeah, he would.

You said that if a stranger moved in, that you'd expect him to pay rent.

and you said that if a stranger moved in, he wouldn't be expected to live by

your dad's stupid rules.

Stupid rules?

I was just quoting.

But the point is, honey, we may have stumbled onto a solution.

Well, what is it?

Oh. Uh -huh.

Maggie may be on to something.

Great. Tell me what it is. It would help the two of you look at each other in a

whole new light.

What light? As long as it's not just symbolic. I am in the room here.

What do you mean?

Yeah.

Well, your mother is suggesting that you pay us rent.

Yes.

What, do you expect me to pay to be treated like this?

No, you pay to be treated like a stranger. No, that's not exactly what I

Oh, so you mean like you guys couldn't get on my case about anything? I didn't

say that.

Well, not exactly.

It means we'd strike up a rental agreement, and if you violate that,

on your case term. But if I didn't violate it, then you guys couldn't say

anything, right? Now, I know I didn't say that.

What? Mom, this idea of yours is going to work out great.

Funny, I don't remember thinking of it. No, this could work. Yeah.

Jason, I don't get you. I mean, whatever happened to as long as you live under

this roof, you live by our rules.

Oh, yeah.

Maggie, we're trying to work something out here. We don't need your negative

energy.

You know that storage room above the garage? Now, technically, that is not

this roof. Good thinking. Wait a minute. I am not sending my son to live in a

garage. No, Mom, I'll just fix it up like a regular apartment.

It works for the fun's unhappiness.

Okay,

okay. All right, so, Dad, how much would you charge me for this room?

$75 minimum.

For that dump?

Okay, $60. $20.

$60. $30.

$60. $50. Done.

Fine. Plus meal privileges.

If you're on time. No problem.

And do dishes?

Once a week. Twice.

Oh. All right, and the room is off -limits to parents? And girls?

Oh, Dan. No slack on that one. All right, no girls. I'll only have men

You know what I mean.

Well, then, we have a whole new relationship here.

Landlord -tenant?

Yep, that's what we have.

So we have an agreement.

We sure do.

Honey, I'd like you to meet our new tenant. This is Mr.

uh... Seaver. Seaver!

What a coincidence. I'm Dr.

Seaver.

And this incredibly attractive young lady is?

Not amused.

But at least the two of you are shaking hands instead of acting like raving

idiots.

She loves this idea.

Yeah, it's gonna work out just fine.

Well, let's see, as long as it's...

Fresh in our minds, why don't we put it in writing? Now, do you want to be the

party of the first part or the party of the second part?

Eh, I don't care. Just as long as I'm invited.

All right, I'll be the party of the first part.

New, new, new. Any reference to parties would set the wrong tone.

So, uh, first of all, we're going to talk about your obligations.

Mike?

Mike?