Original subtitles

Go, you mighty Hooters! V, V, victory for Bob, our varsity! Victory for

varsity! Go, Hooters!

Mike Seaver to the principal's office.

Mike Seaver, come to the principal's office immediately, mister.

Well, I mean, it's like a scientific fact that you can be cute or you can be

deep, but only one in a million can be cute and deep. Yeah.

It's like last summer I thought I might try being really deep this year, but...

Okay.

So then, um, what would you call someone like Carol Seaver?

Pathetic.

Look, Carol, I need you to write me a note, okay? To the principal's office.

Mom's handwritten.

What'd you do this time?

Uh, I don't know yet, so why don't you make it one of those all -purpose deals,

okay?

Hey, Tom, how you doing?

Stand still.

What are you, nuts? You're my sister. You're a bookend. You even studied

lunch.

Uh, scratch that last announcement.

Carol Seaver, come to the principal's office, please.

That's Carol Seaver.

All right.

Sorry, Mike.

It was an honest mistake.

Hey, no sweat.

Is Mom home yet?

Nope. Dad?

In with the patient, but I get to talk to him first.

Yeah, well, I want to talk to Mom anyway.

Ben,

you know you're not supposed to be pigging out like that.

Yeah, well, it's not for me. It's for Mike.

Hey, thanks, Benny.

Did the principal decide to name the school after you?

Nerd High?

Well, as a matter of fact, he called me in to say that if I wanted to, I could

skip a grade.

Whoopee.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Carol.

If you skip a year, that means we're both going to be in the 11th grade

together.

Well, only for a year, and then I'll move on to 12th grade, and you can have

11th over yourself again.

It's Jerry.

Look, Jerry, I can't talk now, all right? I just got the worst news.

Now, believe me, nothing you can say is going to cheer me up right now.

Oh, yeah? How incredibly gorgeous is she?

Are you serious?

Oh, whoa.

Yeah, I don't know, man. I mean, it's a school night.

She's a stewardess? Oh, really?

Just let me run up by my dad. It makes him feel involved.

Well, Mr. Bendel, for our next session, I'd like you to think about why it is

you have so much difficulty just talking to people.

Well, okay, then. I'll see you next week.

Hey, Dad!

Dad! Mom! Is that Mom?

Dad, please watch it!

Carol. I want to talk to Mom.

Fine. Mike. I want to go out tonight. It's a school night.

What happened to fine?

So, Carol, what do you need to talk about?

Well, did the principal call you today?

Oh, no. What did Mike do now?

Nothing. It's me. I wanted to tell you first.

I'm sorry. You're just not going anywhere until I have some details.

All right, Dad. Man to man, the truth.

I've agreed to go out on this blind date with a shy, young, fragile girl who's

only in town for one night.

A traveling high school girl?

Exchange student, yeah.

No.

Well, if it's okay with Mom, is it okay with you? Yeah, good luck.

What did you do now?

Nothing.

Carol's the one who got sent to the principal's office.

Carol, honey, what's the matter?

Carol, honey, I'm sorry. There's something very wrong.

Carol's going to skip a grade. Well, I have to pass the 10th grade proficiency

test, of course, but... Well, that's nice.

Jason.

It's very nice.

Honey, he's thrilled.

Mom, listen, just real quick. Dad says I can go out tonight if it's okay with

you. Okay.

Thanks.

Nice? I said very nice.

I don't understand you, Jason. Skipping an entire grade is a real achievement.

Well, it can be, but there are some recent studies that add a little... I

want to hear about recent studies that add a little...

I mean, this is Carol, our daughter. She's different.

She has goals, ambitions.

Like her mother.

Exactly.

Something wrong with that?

You said you didn't want to hear about it.

Well, I wasn't ready then. I am now.

Okay.

Well, the question is not whether she should skip the 10th grade, but why she

wants to. Is it because you want her to?

Is it because with the additional workload she won't have time for the

activities she's not too comfortable with anyway?

And won't she be even more uncomfortable with kids who are a year more mature?

And what if she fails?

Is she really ready for that kind of pressure?

Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be married to someone who's always

so rational?

Not a clue.

Excuse me.

I'd just like to express my thoughts on Carol skipping this grade.

You know, I have an older brother who cares for... No, no, I'll just say it.

loves his younger sister.

I'd just like to say... Please don't let Carol skip his class.

I won't ask much from you guys. A little allowance, some shelter from the rain,

a burger now and then. Get up, Mike.

I'm not asking for myself, no.

Personally, I would find having Carol in the class a delightful experience.

I'm asking on behalf of the entire 11th grade.

And what's their problem?

Well, basically, they feel that with Carol in the class, we'll have exceeded

nerd quota.

Oh, really?

Hey, Dad, you know how it is. It's a very delicate balance.

One more nerd tips.

Chaos.

Honey,

dinner will be ready in just a minute.

Now I lost my appetite, Mom. I'm studying about the Donner Party.

Oh.

Oh, listen, Carol, just one quick question.

Sure. This business of skipping a grade, you would be doing it for yourself,

right? Of course.

Okay.

And it isn't to avoid a year's worth of social activity and keep your nose

buried in books instead of interacting with other kids, is it?

Great. And you've thought about the additional pressures, right? What

What pressure?

That's my girl.

I'm just curious.

Does this seem wrong to anyone else?

Mike, help your brother with the dishes, please.

Sure, Dad.

Ben, the dishwasher's that way.

I'm finished talking about this. I have to go study.

I'm finished, Jason. Go ahead, Carol.

See what I mean?

She thought this completely through.

I don't know why I let you get me so worried about it. Well, I just can't

but wonder... Boy, if I'd had that extra year, things would be a lot different

for me.

I would have graduated in 68, had been in 74, gone back to work in 84.

Why, I'd be a year younger.

Carol, if you skip a grade, won't you miss your friends?

Well, it's not like I'm going to be changing schools, Dad.

I think she should skip the grade.

It's a chance to mess up Mike's whole year.

My life is good.

Well, I do admire your determination.

And you remind me of your mom.

Yeah, but I won't make the same mistake she made with the marriage and family

bit.

Did she just say... Yes, she did.

Marriage and family are a mistake. Where would she get such an idea?

Oh, honey, don't blame yourself.

Me?

Me? You're suggesting that I gave her that idea?

No, no. No, no.

I mean, I love being married to you. I love my family. I mean, there's times I

think about it when I almost gush.

I know that. I've seen you gush.

Then where would she get such an idea?

Well, probably from some adult she admires.

Who?

I would guess somebody close to her.

A woman.

Yes.

Oh, I see. So now we're back to accusing me.

Well, maybe she's misread your decision to go back to work. Maybe you do put a

little too much emphasis on excelling.

Just like potty training.

What?

Do it for Mommy.

Do it for Mommy.

Do it for Mommy!

Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.

Carol, why don't you and I go out for an ice cream cone and we'll discuss

skipping that grade, okay?

I'm too fattening.

You have nothing to worry about.

thinking about me.

You were saved by the bell.

I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. I got it, I got it.

I'm gonna get it.

Hi, I'm Kitty from Bravo Airlines. You must be Mike.

Hey, did I luck out this time or what?

I mean, I usually don't go out on blind dates, but I just broke up with my

boyfriend 12 and a half days ago. His name was Rico and with, like, no warning

whatsoever, he dumped me. Talk about immature.

Yeah, how do you do? I'm Jason Seaver. I'm Mike's dad.

Mike?

Hi there.

Kitty, I'm sorry Mike can't go out with you tonight.

Oh, why? Is he sick?

No, he's young.

And, Mike, why don't you take Kitty out on the porch, and maybe you can explain

further. Uh, no, no, Dad, I don't think... Jason?

What's going on? Maggie, this is Kitty.

This is the woman you gave Mike permission to go out with tonight.

I didn't. You did.

Uh, Kitty, we must talk.

Well, the usual punishment, or are you feeling creative tonight?

I can't think about it now, Jason. I have to talk to Carol.

Yes. Okay, okay, okay.

Hello, Carol.

Got a minute?

I just got a pass. Well,

that's what I wanted. If we do all finish high school a year earlier,

college a year earlier, start business a year earlier, become Time Magazine's

Woman of the Year a year earlier.

Well, before you hit retirement, I'd like to have a word with you.

I mean, I might be overreacting, and I probably heard you wrong, but I thought

you said some silly thing about marriage and family being a mistake.

Right.

Right? Yeah.

Where did you get an idea like that?

From you.

Oh, honey, you know that I don't feel that way at all. I mean, I love you. I

love being married to your dad. I love raising your kids. Ask anyone we know.

Give me a phone. I'll dial.

Mom, why are you getting so excited?

Why? Because I get the feeling that we haven't been talking about you skipping

grade. We've been talking about you skipping life.

But for as long as I can remember, you've told me to work hard and think

college and a career. Oh, sure I did. So what's the point of doing that just to

get married and to give it up like you did?

I haven't given up anything.

Mom, you worked for Newsweek and quit to raise kids.

Yes, but now I've gone back. to work and... For a local newspaper.

The Long Island Herald is number one in Syosset and number two in Massapequa.

Exactly.

Oh, Carol, look, honey, I know this is a little complicated.

I mean, sure, I'm sorry that I missed the big time, but I'm not sorry at all

about getting married or having three great kids.

Do you understand?

Yes.

Are you sure?

Of course. You think you have to say this because you regret what you had to

Oh, no.

No. No.

Of course you do. And don't worry about it because I am going to make you so

proud of me that you are going to go crazy.

I'm already there.

You see, Kitty, I used to be much older than this. Oh, dear.

It's an extremely rare... to these.

That was really amazing.

Oh, and tragic, too.

I would think so.

As far as I know, there's only two reported cases in the world. Me and Dick

Clark.

But you don't show your pain.

No.

No, I don't.

Do you have any idea what it's like going through puberty backwards?

I can imagine.

If they ever find a cure for this, give me a call.

You can count on it.

I have seen

the future.

And it is good.

Jason, do me a favor.

Shoot me.

We can do it on the front lawn, turn on the sprinklers, no mess at all.

So it went well.

Oh, honey, this is all my fault, and do you know why?

Of course you know why. You know everything.

Well, it's my... She thinks I'm some kind of a saint who gave up everything

you and the kids.

Does she know that's the choice you made?

Yes.

And she didn't believe me.

Oh, I wish she'd been around before she was born.

You know, that might work.

Don't humor me when I don't make any sense.

Oh, honey, if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

I didn't think so.

What are you still doing away? Well, I just have something here I think you

might be interested in. Not another song by Gary Puckett in the Union Gap.

No, why do you say that?

Because every time you get out the old tape recorder, it's to play some

old songs.

Well, Gary Puckett happens to be an artist.

And that's not what this is about.

I feel how hard studying can do, Dad.

Well, just listen when you have a chance.

Listen. The Blast from the Pet, 1971.

It is Gary Puckett.

You're in the way, Mr. Severs. I'm a doctor.

So am I. You're still in the way. Come on, honey. One more push.

Sure. Where else am I going to go?

One. Two.

looks like you.

Where is she going to go to college? Before we decide on her college,

we give her a name?

Well, Jason, maybe Carol won't go to college.

Carol? I've always liked that name.

A woman who regretted her choice.

I always thought... Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, were you wrong.

So you did what you wanted to do.

I still am.

So you're saying I should have a family?

No.

So you're saying I should have a career?

No.

Mom, I'm really getting confused here.

Good. Because that means you're beginning to realize that you have

Well, as long as we're set up, how about some classic Gary Puckett?

Hot. Was she hot?

Well, let's just say that on a scale of one to ten, she was a 747.

So my mom says, take that lewd blouse back, young lady.

Well, your mother's great compared to my mother. I swear, I have, like, no

choices. I mean, it's like she's sick of her life, so she wants to leave mine.

My mother's not like that.

Are you talking to us?

Yeah, my mother likes me make my own choices.

She wants me to make my own choices.

He expects me to make my own choices.

Isn't that incredible?

Too much studying.

No, no.

See? It's all up to me.

Uh -huh. Do I really want to spend every lunch hour studying?

Yes, we came up with that right after fire.

Bill, when will I get into the tape you made when I was born?

Your tape?

Um... Well, you see, Ben, old buddy, when first you have children, you want

capture every moment. And then... I think we probably packed yours in a

different box.

I'll get it in the morning. All right!

Jason, we didn't make... a tape when Ben was born. Well, not yet. We haven't.

Oh, wait a minute.

Now, you remember how it goes.

One, two, three.