Original subtitles

Did you hear that?

What, that kind of scraping sound?

Yeah.

From up on the roof?

Yeah.

No, I didn't.

I didn't hear that one either.

Jason.

Okay, I'll handle it.

I can't believe this myself.

plenty of time to get home before midnight because, as you know, I

my curfew.

So there I was, feeling pretty obedient, when what do you think I saw?

A spaceship.

Come on, Dad, don't be ridiculous.

I saw... fire.

Yeah, I saw a towering... Oh, my.

So then I said to myself, Mike, you got two choices.

If you can turn your head the other way and make your curfew, We can be a measly

two hours and ten minutes late and save a few lives.

Wow. What a kid.

So with no concern for my personal safety or the time... It's 11 .30.

I know. So with no concern... What?

It's 11 .30 right now, Mike. A whole half hour before your curfew.

I guess the joke's on all of us. I'll be back before 12.

Okay,

okay, so there was no towering inferno.

No.

So you admit that you lied to us.

Lie is such an ugly word.

Come on, Maggie.

Suitcases are in the car. We can go just as soon as your parents get here.

Come on, honey. Cheer up.

In two hours, you'll be cavorting in Atlantic City with a group of 5 ,000

conventioning psychiatrists.

Come on, if you're ever going to have a breakdown, this is the weekend to do it.

Jason, it's not that Mike lies. It's that he does it so often.

Well, at least he doesn't do it well.

I'm serious.

Oh, come on, Meg. He's 16.

I'm sure when you were 16, you must have lied to your folks once in a while.

I did not.

I was never like Mike.

Never.

Is Grandpa here yet?

Never hear any minute.

I'm going to ambush Grandpa when he comes.

Well, eat your breakfast first.

Um... Let's ground him.

I'll eat, I'll eat.

We're talking about Mike.

Ground him.

But we can't. We're going to be away at a psychiatric conference this weekend.

But my parents will be here.

And my dad's been retired from the police force for over three years now.

I mean, it would be really sweet to let him lock somebody up again.

Morning, Mother.

Morning, Dad.

Morning, little Ben.

I guess you're all wondering why I'm standing here in this wrinkled, tattered

shirt. No.

Well, let me explain.

Okay, now, I was up all last night with worry, thinking about what I did and why

I was so wrong and what I can do to make it up to you, my parents, the two most

important people in my life.

Well, we've been doing some thinking, too, Mike.

Oh. Well, let me run my thoughts by you.

Mike, I... Wait a minute, Maggie. This might be good.

Ben,

maybe you better take your breakfast and get ready to go jump Grandpa.

I don't want to watch Mike suffer.

Ben, your mother told you to please go ambush your grandfather.

Okay. All right, now, one, I was actually on time. And two, I admitted

and honestly that I lied. And three, you are grounded this house for the

remainder of the weekend in bed by eight and no TV.

Well, look at it this way, Mike. You won two out of three points.

Mom, is it okay if I stay over at Wanda's so Grandma and Grandpa are here?

Carol, is it really going to hurt you to spend one whole weekend here with your

grandparents?

Not physically, but... The answer is no.

Mom, you can't ground me this weekend.

Oh, yes, I can.

You have to learn that lying is wrong.

Mom, I've got major plans this weekend. Want to bet?

Hello?

Oh, Susan, what's up?

Oh, I thought Christopher was going to cover that story this weekend.

Today?

Well, I can't do it.

I know you can make it an order, but see, I'm going to Atlantic City with...

It's not a flimsy excuse.

See, I'm going to my Aunt Marge's wedding. I'm in the wedding.

I'm sorry, too, Susan. Any other weekend I'd be available.

Right, you too.

Bye -bye.

Lie. A deception.

A fabrication.

An untruth. A falsehood.

Well, I admit we do have something of a dilemma, honey, but it's not a problem

that can't be solved. In fact, the solution is really very simple.

You're grounded, too.

Very funny.

Yes. But seriously, honey, we...

You are serious.

Well... Oh, Jason, that's absurd.

You're right. I don't see how it would help anything. You're right. I don't

believe we're even discussing it. You are right. I hate it when you say you're

right when you really mean you're wrong.

Forget I even mentioned you being grounded.

Forget that it would teach Mike that lying is wrong for everyone.

Forget that I... I hate this more than I hate the other thing. You're right.

You're doing it again. I'm sorry.

I will go and tell Mike that it's all right to lie as long as you don't base

on an Irwin Allen disaster movie.

Jason. Yeah?

I don't want to be grounded.

Honey, it's only two days of workshops on schizophrenia, paranoia, phobias,

fetishism. Sounds fun.

Well, just imagine the look on Mike's face when we tell him that his surefire

escape from punishment doesn't work.

I've seen that look on Mom's face when I caught her in that lie. I love that

look. It's that look of defeat.

All right, Mike, your mom and I have been discussing the situation.

I'll bet.

And we both agreed that it's not fair for you to be grounded while she spends

the weekend in Atlantic City.

Hey, I'm glad to see you guys came around.

So, your mother's been grounded, too.

Excuse me? But you're kidding, right?

No, Mike, I'm grounding myself for lying to my boss.

Whoa, wait a minute. You're grounding yourself?

That's right. I saw the chance to nail myself to the wall and I took it.

Will I just front door standing wide open?

Stick it up, copper!

All right.

Shoot if you want to, but I'm giving you a hug.

Daddy!

Hi, Mom. Hi, sweetheart.

How are you?

Oh, Mikey.

Oh.

Dad, it's good to see you. Carol, haven't you got a hello for your old

Hi. Kate.

Oh, Jason, it's so good. Maggie, I'm so sorry we're late. Ed had to pick up a

little surprise for you.

Oh, Daddy, what?

Not so fast.

How do little girls ask for something from their pup?

Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top.

I'm gonna gag.

Sinatra tickets.

What? Well, I know you had to be dreading that shrink convention, so when

found out that Sinatra was going to be playing in Atlantic City, well, I just

pulled a few strings.

We know how much you love Old Blue Eye.

Oh, Jason.

Sinatra! Ed,

I've been knocking myself out trying to get these.

Yeah, I'm sure you did.

Oh, Daddy, thank you so much.

Uh, excuse me, Mother, but aren't you grounded?

What was that, Mikey?

Well, Mom was just saying before you got here how she was grounding herself for

this weekend. Maggie?

That's right. I did.

Sounds like another one of your screwball shrink deals.

It's good to see you too, Ed.

Dad, we're grounding Mike for lying to us, and just this morning he caught me

lying to my boss, so I've grounded myself.

You lied in front of the children.

Yes, she has.

And look what has done to little Ben.

I bet Jason and Carol are probably getting ready for the dinner show about

Eight o 'clock from the perimeter secure, Grandpa.

Might not sink in out tonight.

Good job, Deputy Ben.

Carry on.

I know that Betty's going to make a great cop.

She lived that long.

Oh, I got a six -letter word. Triple word score.

Sexual.

Oh.

My tiles are all gone.

I win.

Wow, that's six in a row, Grandma.

Well, Mike, it's time for you to go to bed.

What? It's 8 o 'clock.

Well, you are being punished. You're not supposed to be having fun.

I'm not. I'm hanging out with you guys.

Mike, bed.

Okay, okay, I'll go.

I just want you to know, if I ever do spot a towering inferno, I'm just going

let those people die.

Mom, Dad, more coffee?

Yes. No.

And you know how it keeps you awake.

Well, tonight's the night to stay awake. It's all love week on Channel 8. And

tonight's late movie is Love Story 2.

Maggie, I thought you were grounded, too.

Well, sure, but I don't want to get carried away.

You can do what you want.

Mom. Dad, would you explain to her how silly this is?

I don't understand anything about this grounding business.

Or why you'd listen to one of your husband's half -baked ideas.

Or for that matter, why you'd even marry him in the first place.

Thank you, Dad.

If I were you, I'd go to bed and take my punishment like an adult.

I am an adult.

Well, you're not acting like it now, are you?

Margaret Catherine, don't argue with your mother.

Will this table be satisfactory, sir? Oh, this is great. Thank you.

Are you absolutely certain this table is to your satisfaction?

Are you kidding? What's not to like? We're practically ringside. Because I do

have a lovely table back there behind that pillar.

So...

Girl, what do you think of the gambling capital of the East?

I think it's the most disgusting place I've ever been.

Is that having fun?

Are you kidding? I love it.

Cocktails?

Yes, shrimp.

Shrimp? Oh, she means the little crustaceans, not you.

I didn't think she did.

One shrimp cocktail and you, sir.

I'll just have a vodka gimlet on the rocks, please. Just make it a short one.

Psychiatrist?

Yeah.

Figured.

Wow. Sinatra live.

Yeah.

You know, the greatest thing about it is that any or all of his friends could

show up. We could see Dean Martin or Sammy Davis Jr., maybe even Joey Bishop.

Dare we dream.

Going somewhere?

Oh, sleepwalking.

Can you beat that? Look at this mom.

I'm fully dressed.

Michael Aaron Seaver.

Don't you dare compound your escape from your punishment for lying by using

deception.

I didn't understand a word of that.

Sit down.

Michael, what are you thinking?

Is it really that hard to do as you're told?

You had a simple punishment, but can you be trusted?

No, every single time... Hey, hey, hey, what's this?

Forget that.

That's Kleenex. You've been watching Love Story.

I have not. It was Love Story 2.

Excuse me, but aren't you supposed to be grounded?

Michael, we are discussing you.

Oh, I get it. It's okay for you to skip out on your punishment, but it's not

okay for me.

Michael, if you think I get some great pleasure from punishing you, you're

wrong. Oh, come on, Mom. I've seen that little glimmer of excitement in your eye

when you catch me doing something wrong.

I've heard that happy ring in your voice when you call me by my full name.

Michael, you don't understand what a parent goes through.

And you shouldn't understand me.

No, I don't.

Not when you act like this.

And because you're confused, I have to miss out on the biggest party of the

year.

I thought you said last weekend's party was the biggest party of the year.

What? What, do you keep transcripts of our conversations there?

Michael, when you're 16, every party is the biggest party of the year.

That's easy for you to say. I mean, what do you know about being 16 and having a

parent who's always right?

A lot.

Have you met my father?

Pleasant man.

Pleasant man.

You know, once he grounded me for no reason at all. No.

And all I did was say damn at the dinner table.

You? And even though he was known to say that and a lot worse, he still grounded

me. Well, of course. He was an adult.

I mean, you want to talk about unfair?

I believe I have been.

Grounded. Forget the fact that it was Vicki Tamar's sweet 16 party.

It was a pizza party.

I mean, she was my best friend. I mean, what was I supposed to do?

So I climbed out the window and went to that party anyway.

Wow.

And it was a truly great party.

Because you got away with it. Yeah.

I understand.

And I'm beginning to.

Come on.

Where? Out.

I'm in the mood for pizza.

Mom, we're grounded, remember?

Shh. I won't tell me what I did if you don't.

This is deeply weird.

So when does the show start?

Carol, a superstar like Frank Sinatra never performs while they're still

food.

Does it make him hungry or what?

Showtime.

Ladies and gentlemen, the jackpot room of the Fallbrook Hotel in Atlantic City

is proud to present the unique, one -of -a -kind song stylings of a living

legend, Mr. Frank Sinatra, Jr.

Junior?

I wish you peace.

Yeah, I guess I do.

I don't think I like this.

Me either.

Hey, I got it. We just canceled the grounding for the rest of the weekend.

No, Mike.

I thought you knew how rotten it was to be grounded.

I do, but I also remember that every time it was done to me when I was a kid,

there were lessons that I never forgot.

And I think it helped mold me into a mature, responsible person.

Some French actor by the name of Yves Montand. Oh, I love him.

Yeah, well, he's running for president of France.

Why would anybody be dumb enough to vote for an actor for president?

Reagan was an actor.

Well, yeah, but not a good one.

You lucky people. How was Atlantic City?

Really, Vapid? Oh, that's wonderful.

How was Frank?

Well, Ed, he looks a lot younger in person.

Ringy ding ding, huh?

The only way we can thank you for getting those tickets is by having him

autograph the menu.

Oh, Eddie.

Oh.

Ed, I was so sorry that you missed the show.

It made my day to find out you were a fan.

Your pal, Frank.

Wow.

Pal.

You know, when a big guy like this has time for a regular show like me, it kind

of brings back my faith in the world.