Original subtitles

Show me that smile again.

Don't waste another minute on your crying.

We're nowhere near the end.

The best is that it should begin.

Oh, as long as we got it.

We should never quit dreaming as long as we keep on giving.

We can take anything that comes our way.

Baby, rain or shine, all the time.

We got each other, sharing the love too.

Telephone bill, letter from your mother? Mm -hmm.

Simone's of Syosset, sexy sleepwear?

Hmm.

I wonder how we got this.

I don't know.

Could it be because it's addressed to a Dr. Jason Seaver?

Is it now?

Mm -hmm.

You know, I've been getting this darn junk mail ever since I sent away for

Whitman's greatest hits. Mm -hmm.

The winter catalog.

Jason, a woman could freeze in an outfit like this.

They keep me warm.

Oh, I can't believe this. Seamless, strapless, only true.

Blueberry, raspberry, trail mix.

Well, who says you can't eat well and have a little fun, too?

Not me.

What are you eating, Mom?

Oh, just this diet magazine we got in the mail. It's garbage.

Mom, Dad, hold on to your hats. We have got a speckled chickadee out by the

garage. So?

So?

Good God, woman.

Don't you realize that the speckled chickadee is almost exclusively

to the lower Adirondack Valley?

We have got a freak of nature out there.

got a freak of nature in here, too.

Gee, Mike, I didn't realize you were such a woodsy kind of guy.

Me? Heck, yeah.

I mean, sometimes I feel more at home outdoors than I do in my own bedroom.

That's because outdoors is cleaner.

I'm serious, Dad. I mean, nature's always been a great release for me from

pressures of suburban life.

And that's why what you want is to go camping with Jimmy and Boner and Boner's

older brother, Mitch.

He's the most mature guy in the whole high school.

He ought to be. He's 21.

So, Mike, what do you and your friends plan to do all weekend?

Breathe free, Mom.

And once you get the hang of that, then what happens?

Then, the usual. A little fishing, hiking, bird biking, bird watching,

like that. Wait a minute, wait a minute. What was that right before bird

watching?

Bird biking.

Dirt biking.

I said dirt biking, okay?

Oh.

Jason, may I have a word with you in the living room?

What? She said, may I have a word with you in the living room?

What's wrong with you people?

Well, here we are in the living room to

discuss my turbine.

Come on, Jason. I think it's important that we present a unified front to the

kids.

I wish I knew what they were saying.

I know what they're saying.

We've got to present a unified front to the kids.

And Dad is saying, come on, Maggie, I know Mike screwed up before, but we

raise the kid in a bubble.

Honey, he could get killed right here.

He could fall down the stairs. He could drown in the tub.

He could choke on my pastrami surprise.

Well, that does it. Tomorrow we're going to get that kid a bubble.

Come on, who's kidding who? I mean, they're not going to let me go camping

because it's fun.

Mike. I know, I know. You guys don't have any fun, so you don't want me to

any fun.

Mike, they didn't want to have you.

Mike, we decided to let you go camping.

I can?

All right!

But you can't go dirt biking.

I can't go dirt biking?

Dad, what does she mean I can't go dirt biking?

Well, my interpretation would be you can't go dirt biking.

I knew you guys didn't want me to have any fun.

Mike, it's not a question of fun. It's a question of death.

But, Mom, I could get killed right here at home.

Well, frankly, your mother and I discussed that, and we prefer it that

All right.

I don't believe you guys.

Hey, Mike, there's something you ought to consider here.

We don't have to let you go at all.

And all of a sudden, the dream changes.

I'm in the bathroom brushing my teeth.

And then, they're not my teeth anymore.

And it's not my face.

It gets all ugly and weird.

It's either the elephant man or Mike!

And then, uh, this part gets a little fuzzy.

Ben, I paid you at the beginning of this dream. But this one's extra long.

Look, I'm a poor student working on a paper.

Okay, from now on, it's 50 cents per dream up.

front no matter what the line.

Ah, it's clear now.

The Simone's catalog.

Mm -hmm. I thought you threw that away.

Oh, I did, but somehow it found its way back home.

Well, maybe some good Samaritan passing by saw it fall out of the garbage,

noticed the address, and returned it.

And taped it back together.

You're a very good Samaritan.

And slipped it into my lingerie drawer.

Possibly a great Samaritan.

Something tells me that you'd like to see me in one of those outfits.

No. Not even a little bit?

I'm not that kind of guy.

Oh, of course not, Jason.

But if you had to be that kind of guy, I mean, let's just say, let's just say

there was a gun at your head. Which one would you pick?

Nah, Maggie, I didn't even... Page 17, item 2693.

With the whiffle.

Just off the top of my head. Uh -huh, Devin.

Call of the Wild.

In pink.

Boy, Ben had the weirdest dream.

I think he's got some deep -rooted anxieties toward Mike.

Who doesn't?

I wish I didn't. Maggie.

Oh, Jason, he's out there in the wilderness.

With Boner.

Did we make a mistake?

Maybe. Fifteen years ago.

So we agreed not to worry about it this weekend. Oh, I know. I just hope he's

okay.

I want you, Joanne. I need you because I'm a man, he snorted. And so at last,

finally, I mean now, I get to realize my dream.

Which is?

To be continued next month's issue. Oh, great.

Well, this thing doesn't even have a centerfold.

Oh, way to go, boner.

You're up, Seaver.

Ah, look, Mitch, I told you, I dirt -biked my brains out last summer, and

kind of burned out on the experience.

Wait a minute, Seaver. Didn't you tell me last week that you never tried one of

these? Yeah, one of these.

I mean, this is the Oshima 705.

Now, I've tried the 702, 703, 704, and almost everything else.

Oshima don't make a 704, Seaver.

Yeah, because when I tested the prototype... I told him it was a piece

garbage.

You're not afraid of the 705, are you, Mikey?

Hey, look, I'm just not supposed to.

Who says?

Your mommy?

No, not my mommy.

My mommy.

The jokes don't stop coming with you guys, do they?

Well, you see, the fact is that...

Well, several prominent doctors have advised that breaking any more bones

kind of ruin my chances of turning pro.

I didn't know they had professional wusses.

I'm not a wuss, okay? No, no, no, no, no. He's not a wuss. He just does a good

imitation of one.

Now get off.

Ooh, Mikey's mad.

Give me the bike.

I'm not doing any stunts.

Look at him go.

Wow. I didn't realize those things would go through a bush like that.

Now he's got his elbows wrapped around the handlebars.

Look, he's hanging from the tailpipe.

And he said he wasn't going to do any stunts.

I couldn't find him anywhere.

You don't think he went over the cliff, do you?

Well, if he did, that means more red for us.

Hey, guys, it's gone.

Jeez, Siva, we thought you brought it up there.

Oh, you mean my trick dismount?

You mean you expect us to believe that you did that on purpose?

Yeah, of course I do. Look, you're my friend. You're not all that bright.

Whoa.

Look at the back of his pants.

That's my pants.

They're not there.

We better go home and get him to the doctor.

No, no, man, look, I'm fine, really.

She needs to sit down for a minute.

Ah, McManus.

Bartholomew McManus.

Well, Bartholomew. Just call me Barth.

The doctor will see you in a moment. Why don't you just have a seat?

Okay.

No, no, I sit all day.

I'll need Mrs. Crampton's x -ray.

Michael!

Michael Thiever!

Dr. McCloskey, look, I didn't think you worked on weekends.

Don't you have that substitute doctor?

Oh, you mean Dr. Emmett? No, he's on vacation this week.

Well, you must be very busy. Look, I'll come back some other time. Nonsense,

nonsense. Here, jump up here.

Now, what seems to be the trouble?

I guess that says it all.

We'll have a look.

Just a little scratch, Doc.

Oh, that looks bad, Mike.

Broken in half.

Not really. Was that you?

How did this happen, Mike?

Tell you the truth, Doc. It's kind of always been like this. Just acting up.

Mike.

Okay, okay. I was at a party and I sat on a hot pizza.

Oh. Well, there seemed to be some abrasions.

Those are cheese burns.

And what about the gravel?

Uh, we didn't know to that.

people start yelling, hey, look, it's on Inside Out!

Now, is this before or after the one where you were Ben the Forgotten

It was before that and after the one where I turned into the human hot dog.

Ben, you know I'm getting graded on this paper. You're not just making this

stuff up, are you?

No, Carol.

These are real dreams.

You swear?

make up a dream.

Great. Well, this should be enough for penetrating the psychological profile of

the real Ben Thiever.

Penetrating and crossing the line.

Jason, you are crazy.

Why? Because I was born to be wild?

No, because you have a dirt bike in my living room.

Well, we also have a very unhappy boy up at Bear Mountain right now, so I

thought, why not go out and rent a bike and teach him how to ride myself?

What a sweet and incredibly terrifying idea.

Maggie, I know what I'm doing. I used to ride a Harley for crying out loud.

I know, sweetheart.

I visited you in the hospital.

Hey, that cow came out of nowhere.

I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you back.

You can't. You'll be dead. Not if I go slowly.

Whoa, hold on. I'll do the killing around here.

Ben ruined my paper.

Not the portrait of the sleeping nine -year -old.

He said all the dreams he sold me were real. And now I catch him on the front

lawn buying a nightmare from Ralph Finsterwald.

Hey, I said... They're real dreams. I didn't say they were mine.

Pen? Well, I bought a few awesome friends.

I barely broke even.

Pen.

Okay, okay, so I made a 200 % profit.

Is that such a crime?

But you ruined my paper. Now all my conclusions are meaningless.

Oh, I don't know, Carol. I think there might still be a paper in this

Say, uh, the emergence of the criminal mind?

Or the effects of swift and severe punishment, such as doing your sister's

chores for a whole weekend.

What?

Oh, I think it'll take a lot more than a weekend to get reliable data.

I need at least a week.

Sounds like a good idea to me. What do you say, Ben?

I hate it.

Okay, we'll make it a month.

A week sounds fair.

Ben, Ben, never sell your dreams.

Not at these prices.

Mike?

Mom!

Have you lost weight?

What are you doing here?

Here?

Here, Mom?

Let me ask you this. What are any of us doing here?

It's a timeless question.

I think a dead philosopher once said... Mike!

What are you doing here?

Dead!

Have you lost weight?

Mike, how come you're home a day early?

Ah, well, to tell you the truth, Mom, I kind of got in a little argument with

Boner. Ah, I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you're home, Mike, because I

have a surprise for you.

Come on.

Take a look.

Why are you walking like that?

I'm just trying to keep the suspense alive, Mom.

There she is, Mike.

Is that a mean machine or what?

It is the Yashima 705.

You ever see one of these babies?

Uh, yeah, once. It was going the other way.

Your father rented it for the weekend so he could teach you how to ride?

Oh, gee, what a dad, what a pal, what a guy.

I'm off to bed now.

Mike. Mike.

Come on. Plant that duff up here.

Which duff? Where?

Come on, Mike. Go.

Come on.

Ah. Comfortable.

Come on. Sit down.

It's not going to bite you.

It's got great suspension, too. Hey.

Look at that.

Miggy, I think he likes it.

We've got a wind in our hair already.

Jason, might I have a word with you? Yeah, Dad, have words. Have lots of

Nothing that says it quite like words.

Jason, that was Dr. McCloskey on the phone.

Seems Mike stopped by there today.

Yeah, what for?

Well, it turns out he had some pretty bad bruises and abrasions on his...

gluteal region.

Well, why didn't he tell us?

Oh.

Now, could these be the kind of bruises that you get from, uh, say, falling off

a dirt bike?

Well, you know, I just happened to ask Dr. McCluskey the same question. And he

said? It's either that or a freak shaving accident.

Oh, Mike!

Yeah, Dad?

Ready to go biking?

Ah, now, Dad?

Yeah, yeah, come on.

We're going to take this little puppy over some of the roughest terrain on

Island. Uh -huh. You know, your father was out all day scouting for potholes.

Potholes. Yeah.

And if you were real men, you'd do it without shock absorbers.

Then let's take him off. Mike, what do you say?

Ah, no, no, Dad. I don't think we should do this.

I mean, dirt bikes are death machines.

People fall off and get hurt.

No, no way.

Only a bone brain would fall off.

Come on. Let's get your rear end gear. Let's go, Mike. Come on, Mike.

Look, please don't make me.

But why not?

Because I'm a bone brain, all right?

I mean, I fell off one of these things at Bear Mountain.

I promised I wouldn't ride it, but I did, and I got hurt.

I mean, you warned me, and I didn't listen to you.

You were right.

You're always right.

Personally, I find that annoying.

What is it with you people?

I don't know, Jason. What is it with us people?

We can't help it. We're older.

We're wiser.

I find that annoying, too.

Then wait till you hear this.

I think we agree that you should spend the next week in your room.

Can I spend it lying on my face?

All right.

Thanks. Hey, Mike.

What really upsets us is not just that you went and rode the dirt bike, but

you tried to deceive us.

And if you get hurt, we need to know.

Does that mean that if I had told you guys, I wouldn't be punished?

No.

Just checking.

What a pity to waste this.

It's rented for the whole weekend.

Oh, well, I don't know.

Hot.

Very hot.

Can you sit like that for the entire rental period?

Well, I've got a better idea.

Why don't we just take a little spin upstairs?

Oh!

I did a little shopping at Simone's of Syoss today. Picked up Call of the Wild.

Thank you.

In chocolate.

Get your motor running.

Come on, Mike. Let's go.

I'm not going.

Oh, come on, Mike. We'll miss the movie.

Come on. People will see me.

They want us to drive in.

Okay.