Original subtitles

Hey. Hey, honey.

Dad, I'm going to hang out with my friends on Father's Day, so is it okay

give you your gift now?

Is that another humidor made out of a shoebox?

Because I really love when my cigars tasted like your feet.

No, I didn't want to make you some junky kid gift this year, so I wrote you a

letter, you know, to tell you how I feel about you. Very nice. Very touching. No

envelope.

Angie, can you grab your Mother's Day letter off the fridge? I think they're

same. They're totally different.

Ready? Yeah.

Dear Father, thank you for everything you do for me, especially fixing my

This letter comes from my heart, which is much more better than anything I

have bought at the golf store.

Your son, Mac.

Your son, Max?

That's gosh -o.

I get a nicer Christmas card from the mailman. I know he's looking for a tip,

but at least he signs a love, Hector. X -X -O -O.

Oh, Uncle George.

What do you think of this watch?

Oh, man, that's beautiful.

I've been saving up for my part -time job for months so I could afford this.

It's my Father's Day gift.

Oh, Veronica, I mean, this is too much. Thank you.

I mean, I know I'm your uncle, but when you do stuff like this, it makes me

realize that we really are family now.

What are you going on about? This is for my dad.

Your dad is a criminal who ran out on you. That's why you're living with me.

I know, but he's still my dad.

And it's Father's Day.

My gift shows how much I love him.

Hey, Superboy.

Are you hearing this?

Yeah.

Okay. Then I'm giving you a one -week extension on Father's Day.

Okay? Next Sunday, I better feel like you love me so I get totally engulfed in

love.

And don't say you don't have any money because you can sell something, so make

it happen, Captain.

Thanks a lot.

I'm not even attracted to you anymore.

All right, it's back.

I am so sorry you misunderstood me, Uncle George.

Look, I will make it up to you. I will get you something even better on Uncle's

Day.

Uncle's Day? When is that?

Oh, this year. It falls on February of that year.

Hello, my little angel.

Hey, Daddy.

How was the medical conference?

Oh, fantastic.

We had a great speech on the next generation of artificial hearts.

And then we went out for takes and cigars and danced with young Hotties

dawn.

What the hell? New hearts are on the way, right?

Are you tongues on the way, too? Because I couldn't understand a damn word you

said.

I'm beyond your insult, mijo.

I got the phone number of a 21 -year -old. That's right. She broke up the

for her Cuban daddy.

Did you call the number to see if it was real? Aye, George. Please.

Not the kill.

The hunt.

It was fake, wasn't it?

Oh, yeah, man, big time.

But if you ever need auto parts in Palmdale, I got the number.

Are you staying for dinner?

No, I just came over to ask George something.

My husband is having a father -son golf tournament tomorrow.

How would you like to play with me? No, Vic, I don't ever want to play golf with

you ever again in my life.

Why not?

Because everything is a big production to you.

And it takes forever for you to line up a shot.

Look,

before you say no for sure, I have a surprise for you in the car.

Honey.

I think this means more to my dad than just winning a golf tournament.

He wants to play with you because he thinks of you as a son.

Look, Angie, he's got a son. Yeah, and they don't even speak anymore, and it

kills him. That's why he's reaching out to you on Father's Day.

This could be a very emotional day for you two.

Listen to me.

I play golf to escape emotion, okay?

It's five hours, no kids, no wife.

It must be what heaven is like.

So, in your heaven, there's no wife?

Angie, it's heaven. I only promise till death, selfish.

Look, and I'm not saying I'm gonna ignore you up there, but I see you at

gates, I'm gonna say hello to you in the garden, you're walking by like that,

and I'll be like, hey, what's up?

Look, I know Father's Day means a lot to you because you didn't have a death.

Look how... upset you were about what Max did.

Just think how great it would be if you and my dad had a more father -son

relationship. Look, Angie, I don't need a dad now, okay? Look, I taught myself

how to fix cars, I take myself to the Dodger games, and when I do something

and I feel proud, I give myself one of these. Good job, son! Top notch!

That's really sad.

Is it?

Well, when it's sad, then it calls for one of these.

Chin up, son.

Stiff upper lip.

If you won't play golf with my dad for yourself, would you at least do it for

me, please?

All right, fine.

But when you see me in heaven and I'm leaning on a wing like that and I'm

talking to a girl, you better be cool with it.

Of course I'll be cool with it because I'll be on my own cloud with Hector the

mailman.

What? The XXOO whisper me fool.

Okay, Vic, look, I changed my mind, man. I'll play with you in the golf

tournament.

Hijo mio, that's fantastic.

Okay, look, but here are the ground rules, all right? None of that, all

No kissing, no slapping my butt, and no salsa dancing if you make a long pot.

Oh, I can't believe you made it.

None of that, because you're going to embarrass me.

Fine.

And here are the shirts we are going to wear.

Do whatever you want. I'll embrace it.

Thanks for being our caddy today, man. I don't think I could take five hours out

here alone with Vic. Hey, it's going to be fun, man.

We'll have a cigar, have some beers. But don't worry, I'm going to stay sober

and I have to drive the little cart.

Dude, there's no cart.

What? I'm going to have to carry your bags for 18 holes? Dude, I have fluid in

my knees.

You're not just carrying our bags. The caddy is important.

You help me with club selection, course management, reading the greens,

undulations también.

Oh, okay.

Okay, well, now I got a purpose.

All right, check it out. This first hole is a dogleg right. I got it.

Oh,

man, I hate this guy, Anthony Tovar. He's the most arrogant anesthesiologist

the world.

Good to see you, Dr.

Palmero. This is my son, Dr. Tony Tovar, head of sports medicine at St. Luke.

And this is my son -in -law, George.

He's a very important man in the aeronautics industry.

Oh, really? Who are you with?

Lockheed? Boeing?

JPL? I got offers from all of them, but I chose this place called Powers

Brothers Aviation. They're big.

Unless you're in the industry, Southgate, you never would have heard of

Wait, I've driven by that factory. It's in Panorama City between the liquor

store and that check cashing place.

Since we're involved with government contracts, I can neither confirm nor

that information.

Enough of the chit -chat. It's time to grip it and rip it.

I think I lost it in the sun.

Yeah, hey, Vic. The sun dropped it, man. It's right there in the grass.

Excuse me.

The men are hitting now.

Hey, Tony.

I don't want to get in your head or anything, you know, psychological

anything like that. Hey, but do you blink before or after you hit it?

I don't know. Ask your wife.

Great shot, son.

That's my boy.

Yeah, that's a long shot.

Which is what my wife would say if he tried to hit him because she's not into

all this glamour pretty boy stuff.

Well, that's obvious.

Rich,

handsome, and funny. It's gonna be a long day for you.

My George, show them what you got.

Here's your big dog. Let her bark.

And that is my boy.

Nice putt.

All right, last hole.

You're up by three.

All you got to do is two putts this and you win. And it's all because of this

kid right here.

Oh, we are going to win that trophy.

And it's not going to say Tobar and Dunn. It's going to say Palmeiro and

George, I'm really proud of you.

You hear that, man? He's proud of me.

No one's ever said that to me except for Angie.

She says it to Mac, so you know it means nothing.

Hey, why wouldn't he be proud of you, man?

You're a good guy.

You take care of his daughter.

You're like a son to him.

No, I'm not.

Although he did buy me a hat and a hot dog.

He stole my nose, but I know it was just in his hand.

Come on.

You're up, tiger.

Sink this pot and we'll win.

Instead of six years of medical school, you should have spent more time at the

driving range.

You know, I trade my best day on the golf course for the chance to help

lead a pain -free life. Yeah, really?

Sounds good. Sell it somewhere else, sister.

Bring us that trophy, George.

Bricks a little uphill, left to right, two inches. I could make this in my

sleep. And that's why you're here.

And how lucky am I that they made this a father -son tournament so I could bring

in my ringer.

Ringer, that's why you asked me to play?

Of course.

I'm tired of losing to this jerk, and you're the best golfer I know.

That's all I ever wanted to be when I was growing up.

Someone's little ringer.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I just got some sand in my eye from the trap.

That and no one wants to be my dad.

Okay, well, the break's right to left, so...

You're gonna make it, then we're gonna

lose. Hey, keep your chin up. You played really great, and I'm so proud of you,

son. Yeah, very touching.

Come on, George.

Think this part and let the glory begin.

Don't sweat it, Vic. I'd have to miss three shots in a row to blow this.

Oh, that's one.

Come on, come on, come on, George.

Hey, focus. Hey, you have to make this the win.

Don't sweat it, Vic. I bet I can make this with my eyes closed.

Oh, I guess I can't.

What are you doing?

Tell him you love him.

Look, George, I don't know what's going on here, but this is for the tie.

Come on, please, for me. Make the punt.

Oh, for you. Okay, that's different.

I dedicate this putt to Vic Palmetto.

Four!

Oh, cool. I thought I lost my ball, but it's stuck in your windshield, Vic.

Look, George, obviously you're going through something with your father -in

-law, and that wasn't a real victory for us.

But that's not what I want to say in the clubhouse. We smoked, you fool!

Really? Say that again.

What?

Whatever.

What the hell is wrong with you?

What do you care?

Still don't get it.

He started thinking of you as a father because he thought you were thinking of

him as a son.

I view me. I had no idea.

Yeah, well, it makes sense. I mean, who wouldn't want you as a father? You're

kind, wise, generous.

You're not getting a tape. Damn it!

What'd I clean your clothes for then?

Easy, man. I can't make that thought.

How was the tournament?

George, he wants to play with you because he thinks of you as a son.

Wrong!

I'm sorry, George.

Why do I listen to you?

Because I'm always right.

But I knew I'd be wrong eventually.

Ooh, I was right about that. The new streak begins.

This is all your fault. You know I hate to get emotionally attached, and you're

always pushing it on me. The dog, the kids, those twins from Guatemala who are

connected at the hip.

I heard they finally had the operation.

Really? Are they okay?

No. You know what? I don't care.

Luisa got the longer leg. Oh, good. She's that nice.

She's the one that wrote back.

Can we talk?

I'll leave you two alone.

I didn't know how to make it up to you, so I thought I'd cover all my bases.

I got you cigars.

I backed that old Dirty Harry movies.

Yo -yo.

How many books?

Some ice cream.

Vic, I'm not some six -year -old kid you can bribe.

I'll take the cigars and this.

Look, Ernie told me why you are upset.

I was so focused on winning, I... I didn't realize the effect the father

event might have on you.

Man, you kept saying you were proud of me. You even called me son. I know. I

know. And I'm sorry I misled you.

I guess I let myself get caught up in that stuff because that's what I would

have wanted if I had a real dad.

Chin up.

Well, it's understandable.

In med school, I took a psychiatry class and learned that men who grow up

without a father...

end up with more daddy issues than a bus full of strippers.

You know, Angie's been trying to explain my life to me for 20 years with

psychobabble, but in one sentence, boom, I can see the bus in my mind.

Well, I'm glad we've become closer over the years, George.

And I can honestly say that if you were my son, I would be proud of you.

Just because you said that.

I'm going to take the yo -yo and the Dirty Harry movies. I don't want to give

too easy at first.

I don't see a trophy.

Which one of you losers choked?

Nothing matter.

George and I went through something, and now we are in a better place.

I knew it was you.

Just like Little League.

Someday you're going to be making that sound and your machine's going to be

going like that. Beep, beep, beep.

And the nurses won't be able to get in because I locked the door.

You know, George, the father is someone who's tough and compromising

with a strong masculine presence.

Oh, my God.

I had a father. I just didn't have a mother.

Dad, I felt bad about the phone letter I gave you on Father's Day, so I got you

another gift.

Manny Ortega, Jack Hale, Omar Martinez.

I don't know what this is, dude, but it is the same as your mom's. I swear to

God. Those are kids in my class.

Read the ending.

I'm really lucky because I have a better dad than any of these kids I go to

school with.

Love, Max.

Happy Father's Day.

Hey, Max, hold on.

Aren't there a lot more kids in your class?

Yeah, but I couldn't put anyone on the list whose dad has a cool job.

I mean, some of them are pilots and firefighters.

What about Luke's dad?

He got busted for selling drugs out of the house. He used Luke as a human

against the cops.

Yeah, but he worked at the zoo. How cool is that?