Original subtitles

This place is a mess.

It's like I'm a kid again living with you, Mom.

My house never looked like this.

Right. If this were your house, there'd be beer cans and cigarette butts

everywhere. And a sad little Mexican kid would learn how to juggle so she could

run away to the circus to have a normal childhood. It'd be like that.

I was gonna clean it up, but I'm swamped with work. I just booked another

wedding and a quinceanera.

So you can't cook, you don't clean, and you won't discipline your kids.

Mom!

I'm just trying to see what the attraction is.

George, if my business keeps expanding like this, I'm never going to have time

to clean the house.

Okay, I'll handle this.

Matt! Clean the house!

He has homework to do.

Well, why else do we have him?

It's not like he's upstairs inventing a car that runs on water or a pencil

that's also a churro. Wait a minute.

That is brilliant. How much do we have in the savings? No.

Hi, guys.

Hey. Ay, Dios mio. This kitchen is a disaster.

I told you.

Angie, you need a maid. No.

No maids.

I don't want some stranger in my house going through my stuff, invading my

privacy. George, we had a maid growing up, and it was great.

Yeah, they are like part of your family.

Well, except they have to do what you say and they leave at night.

Don't.

Never call them at home. Oh, man.

You'll just hear gunshots and sirens in the background and, well, it's

depressing.

Well, I remember when I was a kid seeing all the Latinas at the bus stop waiting

to go clean some rich guy's house. I don't want to be that guy.

It's not like that, Uncle George.

I loved our maid Rita. She was the hardest worker ever. You couldn't even

distract her. I'd say, Rita!

And she would keep on working.

I thought her name was Vicky.

Oh, my God.

That's why she never turned around.

I really miss Rita Vicky.

Come on, Veronica.

I'll take you to dinner.

I was thinking of making paella for you here, but something in that old bowl of

rice just blinked at me. Let's go.

It would only be one day a week, and it's not like we're forcing them to

What is wrong with giving a nice Latina a job?

You know what? I agree, Angie.

When can you start?

Señora, that dishes, por favor, rápido, rápido.

I told you I am too busy.

Unless you want to clean the house, we need a maid.

All right, fine, I'll do it. I mean, how much can there be?

Do the laundry, dust the house. Vacuum the living room, mop the kitchen floor.

It's clean Max's bathroom.

I don't know why you're giving me a hard time on this, Angie. I work hard for a

living. Get off my back. We need a maid.

Thank you, Cheyenne. We'll give you a call.

You know what?

I like her.

She has no experience.

She has no experience.

Not as a maid.

Not as a maid, but you hire and she learns.

I'll handle this one.

Hi, Angie.

be with you, sister.

Here, have a seat.

So, Ruth, did you come here about the cleaning job?

Well, I saw on the bulletin board that you were looking for help one day a

and I need something to keep me busy.

Honey, having Ruth here would be much better than some stranger.

No offense, Ruth, but the person we hire has to do some pretty tough work around

here. Oh, I raised three boys.

I can handle anything.

And as a little bit of a bribe, I brought you some muffins.

Well, no offense, Ruth, but I'm not making any decisions based on a muffin.

a big deal for me to bring someone into my house.

There's pudding in the middle, I can't believe it.

You start tomorrow, senora, you're fired.

finish the laundry. Can you do the living room?

Oh, don't worry about it, Angie. I'll take care of it.

I'm making a list for Ruth. Do you have anything that needs to be done?

Uh, no, I got it.

Honey, she works here now. What is it?

I want to see it in front of her. Angie's private.

He needs his underwear washed.

Hey!

Well, do you?

Yeah, real bad.

I'm running late for my meeting. Ruth, do you have my cell?

George, if you need anything, please tell Ruth.

I'm not going to be in your way here, am I?

No, it's your house. Do whatever you normally would.

Oh, there you go.

Are you feeling all right?

Yeah, you know, just fighting the cold.

Oh.

You feel a little warm.

I'm going to make you some chicken soup.

Really? Well, you know what they say. Chicken soup is the mother's penicillin.

When I was a kid, my mom's penicillin was, hey, fathead, walk it off.

I'll bet you're getting sick because you're working too hard.

Yeah, well, I have put in a lot of hours trying to break the productivity record

of the plant.

Did you do it?

Yeah, I did.

Good for you.

Oh, that's fantastic news.

You know, they gave me a certificate.

It's not a big deal or anything. I mean, in the whole history of the company,

they've only given out two, and the letters are in gold. Do you want to see

Oh, would you look at that?

This is going on the fridge, mister.

No way. My mom never put anything on the fridge unless it was embarrassing.

Oh, that's horrible.

I know, huh?

I got an F on a test, and she put it on the fridge, so I got her back.

I found a letter to her from the free clinic, and I put it up.

That way, we both failed the test.

Well, this is an accomplishment, and it needs to be shown off.

Put it over Max's history test. He only got a B.

Oh, I wish I had a camera so I could take a picture of you with your

certificate.

I got a camera over here.

Okay. Smile.

Hey, what's going on? Nothing. This is Ruth.

I'm doing some cleaning for George and Angie. Oh, you're the help. Give me a

beer.

Don't listen to her, Ruth. This is my mom. You might have heard of her at

church. After her last confession, they found Father John in the shower

screaming, I can't get clean. I can't get clean.

Nice to meet you.

Well, the laundry can wait.

I think I'll just run down to the market and get what I need to make my chicken

soup.

And you, you rest yourself, mister.

What the hell was that all about?

She was just being nice to me.

She even touched my head because she thought I had a fever. You never did

Well, I didn't know you were sick.

Let me feel.

No fever, but you do have a little red mark. Where? Here!

Again, again.

I think I got it all.

I know, but it just feels good.

Oh. Okay,

all done.

You see, that wasn't so bad, was it?

You said if I sat still, I'd get a surprise.

Yes, I did. And it's in the kitchen.

When you told me you'd never had a birthday cake when you were a kid, it

broke my heart.

So, to make up for that...

I baked you a cake from scratch.

What does from scratch mean?

It means I made it with my own hands just for you.

And there's one special ingredient.

Love?

Cinnamon.

Oh, but sure, sure.

There's love in there somewhere.

My boys used to love to ice their own cake, so here, you try it. And write

anything you want.

Thanks,

Mom.

Oh, how sweet.

Oh,

are you getting sick again?

Your eyes are all watery.

No, it just looks like there's a lot of cinnamon in that cake. You know, a lot

of cinnamon.

Ruth, what happened? It's a mess in here.

Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to get to it, but we have had such a busy Saturday.

Sometimes I wish I could just cross my arms, blink my eyes, and make things

happen.

Thanks.

Mom, you made me a cake?

Uh, that's not for you.

George, can I speak to you in the living room? But can we make it quick? Because

Ruth is taking me to the movies and she said I could pick the candy. I'm going

to pick the one that looks like worms and after you eat them, you're like

So, um, I didn't see you at church last Sunday.

Because my Saturday night was still going on Sunday morning.

His name is Chuck. How much can you handle?

Well, I would say save it for confession, but we can't afford to lose

priest.

Look, I know you really like Ruth, but I think she'd rather coddle you than do

the work.

Negative.

weeks, and I've talked to her, but the house is still a mess.

We need to let her go.

No, no way.

She's not doing the job we're paying her to do.

I know what this is about.

You can't stand it that someone likes me more than you.

It's sick.

St. Angie is finally off her throne.

They don't have thrones. Yeah, that's nice. Correct everyone you run into.

That'll make you more friends.

I just want a clean house.

And if Ruth can't do the work, we'll have to get someone else.

You know what? When I get back from my meeting, I'll tell her it's not working

out. No, you don't even know her. I'll take care of it.

I know I have a lot of work, but I thought you two might like a piece of

Here's one for you and one for you.

Mine's bigger.

Thank you, Ruth.

George, was there something you wanted to talk to Ruth about?

Ruth.

It's not working out.

What?

It's just not working out.

Oh, sweetie.

I'll get you a glass of milk.

If I don't tell her I do, sorry.

The floors? Go for it. All right.

Hey, I don't get this. Just because your cleaning woman is nice, you're going to

do all her work for her? Hey, man, it's more than that. You know, she cooks for

me. She makes sure I'm feeling okay.

You know, she cares.

She sounds more like a mom than a maid.

Oh, we're getting into your weird area, aren't we?

Dad, did Rick do the laundry?

She's working on it. It's in the washer.

But I need a shirt for tonight.

I'm going to the movies with Laura Ortiz.

Hey, Ernie, give me a lemon, cut it in half. It'll dirty a knife. I'm making a

call.

Arms up.

Arms up. What are you doing?

Hey.

I'm dry cleaning the Lopez way. There, you're all lemony fresh. Now, just a

warning. If you hug her and she's got a cut, she's going to scream.

What is it?

Angie just drove up, but we haven't done the table.

Do it. Okay.

Evening, ma 'am. Evening.

Sir?

decided not to fire Ruth. I wanted to give her one more shot.

What, you just talked to her and she did all this?

Angie, I'm a manager.

I got a look that can get people to do what they don't want to do.

Well, how come I've never seen the look?

You got a ring on your finger, don't you? You've seen the look!

Mom, Dad, someone stole money from my room.

What are you talking about? Last Christmas, Grandma gave me a $50 bill.

And I was going to use it to take Laura Ortiz in the movies, but now I can't

find it.

I think Ruth took it.

Hold on a second. Before we start calling people thieves, you gave them

You never gave me that kind of money when I was a kid. No, you didn't need

You could never pull a girl like Laura Ortiz.

If that woman is stealing, I wouldn't want her in my house. Why don't I just

call Ruth... and give her a chance to explain.

Maybe she moved the money when she was cleaning.

In the meantime, we should double -check your room. Come on.

What?

You wouldn't have anything to do with this, would you, Mom?

George, please. Now, I would never steal from my grandson.

What kind of a monster do you think I am?

Some kind of half -woman, half -bat.

That feeds on children's dreams. You can fly, but every time you do, you become

a little bit shorter.

That's why you only do it in emergencies.

You know what? I have been coming to this house every day since Christmas,

the money has always been here.

Ruth's been here a couple of weeks. The money's gone. You do the math. You'll

probably get it wrong, but it's important that you try.

Oh, look at that. No one stole it. It's on the floor. Max must have dropped it.

Ah!

You checked your bra.

So? You took the money and you hid it in there. I knew it. Oh, I didn't hide

anything. The girls just needed some air.

They haven't been girls for 40 years.

You know, George, you're just going to have to believe me about the money

because you don't have another choice.

All right.

Here we go.

Oh, what's the knife for?

If I'm wrong and there's no 50 in there, I'm going to have to stab my eyes out.

What's going on?

My mom stole Max's money.

Why are you trying to frame Ruth? I wasn't trying to frame her.

I'm in trouble, see.

I owe a guy money.

His name is Mike.

Mike, roll wave, because he heats up fast.

And he has got a pretty... mean enforcer named Jimmy the Dishwreck.

I am so sorry.

I don't remember seeing any money. I hope you don't think I had anything to

with this. Mom, apologize.

Apologize. All right, fine.

I'm sorry that you've got nothing in your life.

So to make up for it, you're trying to steal other people's kids.

What are you saying?

I wasn't trying to steal George.

Are you jealous of Ruth?

No.

I just think it's strange to come in here and see you hugging my son.

Why should that bother you? You never hug me.

I hugged you plenty.

Yeah? What, when you were drunk and you couldn't stand up on your own?

Or that time in the grocery store when you hugged me, but when you pulled back,

there was a steak in my shirt.

And you said, be cool, be cool, be cool. I'll meet you at the car.

Well, you blew that one.

How many six -year -olds can be cool with cow blood running down their legs?

All right, fine. You got the 50. I'm out of here. Hey, if you're jealous of

someone else being my mom, then step up. Give me a hug. Why?

I don't need to prove anything.

I wasn't a bad mom.

You remember that one Christmas I gave you a coupon for a hug?

That's because you didn't want to buy me a gift.

And then I went to get the hug and you said the coupon expired the day before.

Why am I even here? You don't appreciate anything I do for you.

Fine. If you don't want to give me a hug, I know someone who will.

Mm -hmm. I love you. Huh? You like that? How does that make you feel?

Weird and uncomfortable.

George, let go of Ruth. No. George!

Look, I was just trying to make a little extra money.

But I'm sure the generic heart medicine will work just as well as what I'm

using.

Where are you going, you mother?

I am so sorry about this.

We'll see you at church, huh? Well, actually, I think I'll be transferring

new church.

One that you don't know about and can't find.

Are you happy you got rid of Ruth? Oh, for God's sake.

You want a hug? Will that end this?

Yeah, it would, but you'll never do it. Well, you don't know that.

I do know that. You know what? Just forget it. All right, fine.

I'm going to prove to you that I can do this. Let's just get it over with.

Just close your eyes so I don't have to see that needy little face.

Is she gone?

No, she's just about to hug you.

You smell good, Mom. No, I can't do this.

You

ready

for work?

Yeah, let's go.

I'll meet you at the car, Mom.

Oh, Kel, I didn't save it!