Original subtitles

Man, I can't wait to start watching all those games on the premium package.

My paperwork says you only paid for the basic package.

Huh.

I wonder what we can do about that.

By the way, I got you a beer, man. It's a hot day to be putting up a satellite

dish. Thanks, but I can't drink while I'm working.

You know, when no one's looking, people do all kinds of things.

I'm not gay.

Well, neither am I, but if I was, I could never land a stud like you. What

that, a utility belt? Nice.

You want the premium package? You gotta pay for it.

All right, man, take it easy. Relax.

I'm just gonna put the beer down here on top of this $20 bill.

I'm not gonna lose my job over $20 and a beer.

Fine, be that way, then.

There's a beehive up there. I'm not gonna tell you where it is now.

Sir? I'm allergic to bees. I could die.

All right, then. It's right there, baby.

Can you hang here with the satellite guy? I'm going to go running. Oh, Angie.

Remember how you got us all those free channels from the cable guy?

I am not going to flirt with some stranger just so you can get more sports

channels. This isn't just for me.

There are all those lady channels out there with strong women.

Earning respect in a man's world?

Now you get out there and shake it.

You know you're my best girl. Go on the stroll for daddy.

All right.

300 channels coming right up.

I just hope he doesn't have a heart condition.

Hey, but keep it classy. We're still married.

Do you want the channels or not? All right, then. Go ahead.

I'm about to go for a run.

You don't mind if I stretch here, do you?

Go right ahead.

I wonder if there's a yoga channel on the premium package.

That'd be nice.

There is.

Pay for it and you'll get it.

You know, sometimes people do favors for each other.

All right, I'll tell you what I'll do.

There's a dead bird in your judder.

I'll throw it away for you.

So?

He didn't go for it.

He must be gay.

I wish. I'd be watching the Lakers right now.

Finally, we're getting satellite TV.

Are we getting all the movie channels?

No, you know... It's too expensive. They don't pay for all that.

What?

You don't have to pay for it.

They said we're not getting any of the movie channels.

I'm so bummed, Alan.

Oh, E -N instead of A -N.

Someone likes to break the rule.

You're really supposed to pay for it.

I'm just a college girl. I don't have any money. The only thing I do for fun

go to parties.

Maybe you could go with me sometime, Alan with an E -N.

I guess I could give you all the channels free for a year.

Thank you so much. You rock.

So when's this party?

Oh, I'll meet you over there.

I got the channels. Mission accomplished.

You know, when you use your looks to get things, you're just demeaning yourself.

It's only demeaning when it doesn't work, baby.

I don't get it.

Why did it work for her and not me?

It always works for me. Come on, look, we did it as a team.

I was a starting pitcher, you were the middle relief, and Veronica was our

closer.

I don't understand your sports metaphors.

Then I'll put it in cheerleading terms.

You know when they make a pyramid? Where are the fat chicks on the bottom?

All right, listen up.

It's that time of the year again. The boss is having his birthday party this

weekend, and he wants everyone to come in costume.

Costume? What are we, eight?

Let's just be thankful it's not a pajama party this time.

We all remember Ernie. Ernie's peekaboo accident.

I can't believe it took you 20 minutes to say something.

Oh, Mom, you finally hooked a rich old guy. Do you know where

your wallet is, sir?

I changed my community service.

I got sick of picking up trash off the freeway, so now I take old people to

their doctor's appointment.

Where's the bathroom? I'm getting close.

Or I just started.

Hey, Angie.

Ernie.

White wine, please.

You're not going to believe what happened at the mall today.

Oh, a story about the mall? Wow, I can't wait to hear it.

Tequila?

Veronica and I were shopping, and some weird guy was following us.

We go try clothes on in the dressing room, and he peeks at Veronica while

changing. Did you tell security?

No, I was too upset.

He didn't even try to look in my room.

Angie, are you on this again? Look, we talked about it last night. You look

great, baby. This is all in your head.

Was

that

in my head? Because when I walked in, they barely said hi.

Angie, what do you expect? Okay, you're the boss's wife. Veronica, she's single.

Hey, Ernie said hi to you?

Doesn't count. He's had a crush on me since high school.

I think I'm losing it.

No, you're not.

First the satellite guy, then the pervert at the mall.

I'm getting older.

Okay, no more carbs.

Go to the gym twice a day.

And I might need to start Botox.

Angie, this is crazy. You're beautiful. Listen to me.

You're as beautiful as a woman could possibly be for your age.

Gina, not now, really, not ever.

All I can say is if your marriage goes south and you end up on the rebound,

boing, boing.

Hey, Max, come here. I want to try this thing out.

It's going crazy!

What?

One of the guys from shipping asked me to the party.

What do you guys think of my little red riding hood outfit?

I think next year for my birthday, I want to have a costume party, and

only one person invited.

Hello.

I'd send you to your room right now, but I don't think that'd be a punishment.

Goodbye.

Do you guys have a picnic basket, I guess? Yeah, it's in the garage.

Oh, hey, Veronica.

Can you do me a favor?

You know, Angie's going through some stuff, and, uh... She's not feeling so

pretty right now.

That's ridiculous.

She's gorgeous. I know, but she doesn't feel gorgeous because she thinks you're

attracting all the attention. So tonight at the party, could you just, you know,

tone it down a little bit?

Tone it down?

You just need some help.

see my body.

Now you gotta get by your personality like a challenge, don't you?

In all my years in the medical profession, I've never seen a nurse get

and every day... Okay.

I forgive you for what you said. I don't need to hear that I'm young every five

minutes. How about on the hour? If it feels right.

Aren't you going to the costume party?

Nah, I'm driving seniors around tonight.

They're out front.

I'm taking my dinner break.

So you totally left them in the van?

What if they wander off?

No, no, I took away all of their canes and walkers.

Those three steps down to the ground might as well be the Grand Canyon.

this party's gonna be now.

Uncle George wants me to stay all covered up for Aunt Angie.

Why? She's feeling threatened and old.

Well, this is gonna be fun.

Hey, old lady, the bus is leaving.

took you for one of the senior citizens that I drive around.

Mom, what are you doing?

Oh, hey, don't worry. I would never tell her what you said to Veronica.

Oh, whoops.

I am just stepping in it left and right.

What did you say to Veronica?

Nothing. I just told her to tone it down.

Because she's young and fresh and you're old and nasty. There, like a band -aid.

Rip it off.

So you do think I'm looking older.

No, Angie, that's not what I said. Then why else would you tell Veronica to tone

it down?

That's it.

I peaked.

Soon I'll be nothing but crow's feet and spider veins.

You're never going to see me naked with the lights on again.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop, Angie. This is crazy.

There's not a man in the world who wouldn't think you're beautiful.

Hey, check it out.

What do you think?

Dude, that didn't fit you when you were 10.

What do you think of Angie's costume?

Oh.

It helps me clean up my mom.

But hot, right? Hot.

If you like nurses, I guess.

Every man in the world, huh?

You drool over my wife every day.

And the one time I want you to tell her that she's hot, you don't do it!

I just wasn't showing it.

Well, you're not showing it to everybody that I work with.

I am going to this party.

Then I'm not going.

Fine.

I'll go without you.

Benny, can you drop me off at the party?

Seems that George has already put his foot down, which means it's your call.

ready whenever you are. Let's go.

Don't do this.

How'd you like if I showed up at your work dressed as a hot nurse?

Believe me, I got the thighs for a fish nest. Watch out. And the calves for high

heels.

I made a mistake. This isn't my house at all.

Benny, dart the butt.

Come on, Angie. This is stupid. You're going to embarrass me in front of

everybody I work with. You shouldn't be embarrassed. You should be proud that

your wife looks so good.

Excuse me, nurse.

I'm ready for my sponge bath.

Keep it in your pants, Orville Redenbacher.

Is that the kind of attention you want?

I can't help it if I turn heads.

It's been that way my whole life, and that's how it's going to stay.

We're coming.

on the wheel.

I am not in denial.

I'm going to look good no matter how old I get because age is a state of mind.

Amen to that.

Nice belly shirt.

It really brings out those liver spots.

Some people just don't get it. But you're like me.

You know you look great and everybody around is just jealous.

There's the finish line. You want to keep running?

No.

Can she?

We're going to get older.

There's no way to stop it.

It's easy for a man to say.

Women are judged by their look. I have no idea how hard we have it.

I used to just roll out of bed and look good.

Now I have to watch what I eat, go to the gym and...

My creams and dyes and exfoliate and dermabraid and... You know what? You

have to do any of that stuff for me.

Yeah, right.

No, Angie, I mean it.

Every time I look in your face, I feel like the girl I married 20 years ago.

And I always will.

Really?

so lucky to have you to grow old with.

Thank you for letting me let go.

And if nature wants to blow up my body like an old wrinkled elephant, it

scare me because I know you'll always see a 20 -year -old girl.

Yeah, well, you're welcome.

Benny, you take us home.

Wait, a donut shop.

Pull over.

I haven't had donuts in years.

Hey, look at my watch.

That's the exact moment you screwed up.

get in bed fast these days without that whole before bed face routine.

Oh, yeah. Who misses that?

These are pretty good. You want one?

Donuts and donut holes.

That's good thinking.

You don't want to accidentally get a bite of air.

Can you take that box downstairs for me, please?

What's all this?

Face cream, hair dye, workout clothes, stuff I'm not going to use anymore.

You're really committed to this whole letting go thing, aren't you?

George, it's so liberating. I haven't even weighed myself in three days.

But like I said, I'll always see that young girl I married in there somewhere.

Trying to breathe, calling for help.

Ah, the last donut hole.

No, Angie, you were right.

You don't need anything to look beautiful.

So natural.

I'm always going to love those eyes.

And that neck.

I love you. I love you, too.

Must have got on my hands while I was throwing it away. You're tired. Take it

off in the morning. Good night.

I don't believe you.

You're worried about my skin wrinkling.

No.

Look, I want you to relax and not freak out about your looks, but I want you to

look hot while you're doing it.

You said you love me for what's on the inside.

Yeah, but all that's inside you right now is fried dough and sugar.

Angie, this isn't just for me.

You're not going to be happy if you keep this up. You've always taken pride in

how you look.

Yeah, but I don't want to go back to obsessing over my appearance.

Look, I'm not asking for that.

Just a little maintenance. Look, my truck is old, but do I give up? No.

I buff out the scratches and do a pressure wash on the undercarriage.

Well, I do feel kind of lousy after eating all that junk.

Maybe there is... some sort of middle ground why don't we go on a brisk 20

minute walk and we'll talk about it over oatmeal a couple of times a week i

don't need faith creams there you go and i'll keep doing what i have to do to

stay beautiful for you what is that exactly the roof the

grill and the bumper what you think

We both do look pretty good.

How long you think we got?

I think we got ten years of being hot, twenty years of being not bad, and five

years of, did that smell come from me or you?