Original subtitles

Got it. Yeah, I got it.

Easy.

Easy.

That's perfect.

Fire it up, George.

Wait.

I want to say something to you.

Ernie, you were there when I met Angie. And you were there when...

We got married. You were there for the birth of my kids, and now you're here

the biggest moment of my life.

Hey, that's what friends are for, George.

All right, you were there when I, uh... You know, for my, uh... What about the

time that... Let's just watch the TV.

What is it?

I don't know. I hooked everything up right.

What if it's defective?

It's perfect.

All I wanted was a big screen TV with surround sound.

Can't I be happy once?

Damn it, what is it? George Lopez time.

Hey, George, are the batteries in the remote?

Oh, that's a good idea.

Hey,

don't start the movie yet, all right? I'm going to go make some popcorn.

George, can I talk to you for a minute?

Sorry, we don't talk in the media room.

The only people who speak here are Clint Eastwood and those people begging not

to be killed by Clint Eastwood.

Look at that picture, Angie.

H .V.

That's just beautiful.

This really makes you happy, doesn't it? I never thought I'd be able to buy

something like this when I was growing up, Angie.

Thanks for letting me have this.

Uncle George?

Hey, Veronica, what's up?

Hey. How's college?

It's the best thing I've ever done. You were totally right.

See, you didn't go to college. That's why you don't realize I'm right most of

the time.

Check out what I did with Carmen's old room. This is the George Lopez home

theater experience.

The George is

listening.

Honey, wouldn't this TV be great in our bedroom? We could watch movies in bed.

No way. You got enough distractions in the bedroom already.

I don't want to say nothing, but you've kind of been off your game lately.

Okay. The thing is, Veronica's trust fund has just been frozen. One of her

relatives is contesting her mom's will.

So, I'm totally going to run out of money, and I totally need a place to

And I was thinking, since we have this extra room...

George.

Well, why don't you totally get a job?

I mean, they froze your assets, not your ass.

Uncle George, I can't work full -time and still go to all my classes, and

the one who said it was important for me to go to college.

Here's the thing.

You're not ending world hunger, okay? It's a fashion school, so let's stop

dropping the college bombs.

Uncle George, I've got nowhere else to go.

My God, if you want me to beg, I'll beg.

Please?

That's how I beg.

You know, why don't you give us a few minutes to talk about this? Aunt Angie

I really need to talk this through.

No!

The lowrider.

The lowrider gets a little higher.

You can't just drown me out.

That's the beauty of this system, Angie. Now I can.

I'll lay down cover for you. Make a break for the door. Angie, go, go, go.

Go!

Come on, Angie. Look, I like Veronica.

But I already did the parenting thing with her once. If she moves in, I'm

to end up raising another kid.

We won't be raising her. She's 21.

She's got her own life.

But we're just down to the boy.

In a few years, he'll be gone.

Then he'll just be...

Me and you. You in your room researching bed and breakfast that I'll never go

to.

Me in here watching movies with a door shut. Isn't that the life we always

wanted together?

I don't care where you put your big screen TV.

But she is family and she's going to stay in this room. End of discussion.

End of discussion.

Damn, all right. She can stay here.

But that doesn't mean that you won.

I know I didn't.

And I didn't give in. Of course you didn't.

Hey, and don't walk away from me. That's not what I'm doing at all.

The team leader.

You know what today is?

Oh, man.

I'm sorry, I forgot. I just thought getting a card with cheap in it, Angie,

whatever it is.

We promised to visit her in jail.

Right. Hey, this is gonna be tough on her.

She hasn't had a birthday without booze or men since she was eight.

Is Veronica up yet?

No.

She's up late every night. She sleeps in every morning. I've been able to watch

my big screen in a week.

Well, maybe we can rent a movie and watch it tonight in the living room.

On what, a 27 -inch?

What am I, a caveman?

Why don't we just watch fire?

Hey, look who's up. Yeah, sorry. I was talking to my boyfriend all night.

You have a boyfriend?

Mm -hmm. Why didn't you tell me about him?

Well, we just started going out.

Dad, there's some dude in the bathroom.

Should I get the bat?

Sorry, little buddy, I should have locked the door.

Who the hell are you?

Uncle George and Aunt Angie. This is Mike, my professor from the Fashion

Institute. I mean, my boyfriend.

I have to use this thing, Matt.

Nice to meet you, Mike Langworthy.

I know this is awkward and everything.

Yeah, stick around and see how awkward it gets.

Well, I'll call you later.

That's a hell of a TV you've got upstairs.

Okay, what's wrong with you? You don't bring some older guy to spend the night

in my house. You've only been here a week and you're pulling this? What are

thinking? He was drinking and I didn't want him to drive home and you guys were

asleep so I thought you'd want him to stay here. Not now.

Angie, we'll deal with your screwed up family later.

We gotta get to the jail for my mom's birthday party.

Okay, Mom, we got you a cake, huh?

Make a wish.

Let's see, I'm about to go on trial for an armed robbery that my ex -boyfriend

committed. Oh, yesterday, I washed underwear for 600 women.

And my cellmate, Dee Lousing, didn't take.

I wish for a pony.

a lot of stuff, Mom, but we did get you a present.

Now, we know you're gonna get out, but in case you don't, some chalk, huh?

You can draw a door on the wall and you can escape.

You know, in your mind.

Put Veronica on.

Oh, you know, honey, it warms my heart that you came all the way down here to

visit your grandmother -in -law.

What do you say we tap into your trust fund and pay my bail?

Oh, just think about it.

What would Jesus do?

My trust fund's frozen. I can't get any money. I'm living with these guys again.

Oh, yeah?

If you're so broke, how'd you get that diamond tennis bracelet?

Do you like it?

It's new. My boyfriend bought it for me.

Let's see.

What do you call a girl who goes out with an older guy because he gives her

things?

It's on the tip of my tongue. It rhymes with rostitude. Uncle George, that is

not why I'm seeing him, okay? He's mature. He likes being with me. He makes

happy. I can see whoever I want anyway.

Hey, not in my house. He's not spending the night again.

You would rather he take me to some sleazy motel? I'll make the reservation.

Mom, where do you usually go?

Wait a minute. George, he's buying her expensive things and he won't take her

back to his place?

She's seeing a married man.

Tell me you're not seeing a married guy.

Prostitute, that bitch.

I just want to thank you. I didn't think

you could make my birthday fun, but this is pretty great.

Upstairs. Are you guys going to talk about Veronica's thing for married guys?

Upstairs. Just so you know, I'm in a relationship.

I'm thinking about marrying her.

Does that do anything for you?

Max, you're not into guys who walk funny.

I don't walk funny. Hey, look at that. You do, huh?

Don't you realize dating a married man twice your age is going to blow up in

your face? I'm tired.

of dating guys my age.

They play games and I wind up getting hurt.

At least with Mike, I know it's not serious.

We're just having fun. It's casual.

And what about Mike's wife? Is she having fun too?

Oh, his wife doesn't get him anymore.

She has trust issues.

Every time he's working late, she thinks he's cheating.

Maybe next time you're hiding under the bed, you can slide out and explain it to

her.

Uncle George, I can handle it, okay?

No, you can't. You're in way over your head.

Look, I told you we'd end up raising another kid, and we can't even punish

by sending her to a room because then she has high def and surround sound.

I mean, I guess I could program it to two -channel stereo, but then everybody

loses.

Dude, leave my niece alone, man. You're married.

And why do you have a suitcase?

I just left my wife.

I love you, Veronica.

Now nothing stands between us being together.

There is one thing.

All

right,

that's enough. I'm getting rid of this guy right now. No, they're talking it

out. If it gets out of control, then we intervene.

You love this.

What are you talking about? All the drama.

You love being surrounded by crazy people so you can fix them.

Because you're the drama queen, and this is your kingdom.

I know you're upset, but you're starting to annoy me.

And that be what? More drama?

Hmm, good news for the queen.

Is everything okay?

Yes. I told him he was taking things too seriously, and I want it out.

See, I said I would handle it, and I did. It's over.

Then why are you still on my yard?

Not my boyfriend.

Not my problem.

George, we should do something about this. I'll turn that sprinkler down. No!

We should go talk to him.

Oh, but of course.

After you, my queen.

Are you all right?

Not really.

I know your eyes are all bleary with tears and all, but the gate's right over

there.

I don't know what to do.

You just lift up the latch and the door opens.

I think...

you should go back to your wife and tell her you made a terrible mistake and try

to work things out.

I don't want to go back.

I love Veronica.

I guess you just need time to process this. Take all the time you need.

We'll leave you alone.

Can I turn the sprinklers on now? Fire away.

It's Mike again.

And the machine is full.

I'm going to talk to this fool.

No, maybe if we just ignore him, he'll go away.

I mean, he can't keep this up for another week.

Look.

What the hell?

Some bunny still loves you.

Man, I told Carl to ship and I'm straight.

I gotta stop wearing those blue pants, Angie. It's not fair to him.

Apparently, he can't quit me.

This is from Mike. He was here in our yard.

This is getting scary.

Veronica, this guy's not getting the message.

Oh, my God. Please tell me this is stuffed and not Mike in a bunny suit.

I didn't think of that.

Mike, are you in there?

Mike?

It's stuffed, or I got him.

I don't know how to get rid of him.

I mean, I dropped his class, but he keeps calling me, sending me emails,

following me around campus.

It's freaking me out.

It's Mike.

Hey, what are you doing?

You don't take his calls. You got to cut them off clean.

But I'm trying to get him to understand that it's over.

Every time you talk to him, you're just encouraging him. You got to get inside

the stalker's mind.

I knew this guy who was so in love with this woman, he followed her to work.

Left notes on her car, camped out at her house.

I finally had to say, look, if you don't knock this off, Ernie, you're going to

go to jail.

That was a really uncomfortable summer for me.

It's him again. Let me answer it. No, I don't need your help with this, okay,

Uncle George? I can take care of Mike myself.

Mike, you have to stop calling me.

Would you throw this thing out?

See, I'm not going to waste this.

What are you doing?

Happy birthday, Angie.

Love, George.

I'm going to put this in the closet. Now, that doesn't mean you're not going

get the diamond earrings you asked for.

But you're not.

Last time I'm going to tell you, I never want to speak to you again. It's over.

Don't say it's over.

Get out of here.

I'm not going anywhere until we work this out.

What the hell are you doing here? This is none of your business. My niece, my

business. Take your hands off me. Look, there's not going to be any fighting.

Just relax, all right? Talk about this like true civil life.

I just lost the element that's the price. Call 911.

Why, Auntie, why did this have to happen?

Honey, you did what you had to do.

It just hurts that I couldn't protect her.

It didn't hurt anyone.

You were just hanging there minding your own business.

up the guy who was threatening your niece. You're a hero.

The cops are about to leave.

I can still hear a movie.

Thanks for all your help, officer.

So, Mike's gonna be in jail for a couple of days, and I can get a restraining

order tomorrow.

Well, I hope you learned your lesson.

You don't get to say that.

You didn't throw down with some British dressmaker.

Sewing must make your hands strong because that dude almost choked me out.

I hope you learned your lesson.

I did. I'm sorry.

And?

And from now on, I'm living in your house. I'll follow your rules.

And?

And?

What? What else is there?

I got a broken plasma screen.

And you got a diamond tennis bracelet. Guess what happens next?

And Angie. You heard him. Hand it over.

What's written on your hand?

Oh, that's Chuck's phone number.

Who's Chuck?

The cop who just left.

That guy's got to be 35 years old.

Relax, Uncle George. He's not married.

He's separated from his wife and he's six weeks sober.

No one told me we were watching Veronica.

I want a part.