Original subtitles

Last season.

I'm George Lopez.

What are you doing out here in the dark?

I just got my letter from Northern Vermont.

Well, Lindsay, there is something I have to ask you.

George, call me.

I just went through Mel and Jack's desk. They're moving the company to Mexico.

Are you George Lopez?

Uh, yeah.

We're looking for your mother. Do you know where she is?

Mr. Lopez, if you know where she is and you don't tell us, you're an accomplice.

All my friends know the lowrider.

You just want to talk to her?

Yes.

Okay, follow me.

Hey, but in case she tries to run, don't bother with the pepper spray. We're

Mexican.

That won't do anything. That would be like me spraying you with mayonnaise.

Ma 'am?

Oh, officer.

I was looking for Benny Lopez. She's not out here.

I'll check Mexico.

Mom, relax.

She just wants to talk to you.

You are under arrest for being an accessory to an armed robbery.

You lied to me.

See, this is why people like firemen better. They don't yell, jump, and then

move the little trampoline thing out of the way.

Hey,

hey, hey, English.

She said you're very handsome and lovely.

Chill out. George, you sold me out.

You're not my son anymore, George. I never want to...

So who's going to bail you out?

I'll see you one more time.

Take it easy, Mom. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I'll be right

down to bail you out. Yeah, right. The last time you said that, I spent a night

in jail.

I was five.

You're not going to believe what I just found out.

Everything's about you, Angie. They just arrested my mom.

down to the police station. Okay, well, on your way home, pick up diapers.

I'm pregnant.

How do you know that I'm the... George.

Okay, Angie, you're pregnant. Okay, let's deal with this.

Body George, I know I'm not my -

They said I gotta put up my house as collateral in case you skip bail.

And?

Let's see.

That's pretty solid.

I didn't do it. What?

Look, Mom, they said you're a flight risk. If you leave, I lose my house,

I won't do that to my family. George, I swear I won't skip bail, okay?

I give you my word.

You told me my dad was dead. Then you never told me I had a sister.

When I was a kid, you used to make me dress up like a girl so we could get in

free at Mother Daughter Day at the track.

I'm going to use every penny I got to get you the best lawyer I can, okay? So

you don't end up going to prison.

George, if you bail me out, I won't have to worry about going to prison because

I'll be in Mexico by sunup.

Mom, if I thought you'd stay in Mexico, it'd be worth losing my house.

Trust me, the next two weeks...

working on a science project.

I'm trying to come up with a cure for a hangover.

Hey, there's no cure for a hangover, man. You wake up in the morning, you got

that killer headache, the dry heaves, you're like... And

then you taste in the back of your throat like a hot dog at a carnival, but

don't remember being there. You're like... And then...

I got to go.

Like that.

George, George, George.

Everything is going to be okay.

The factory's not moving to Mexico.

Yeah, the Powers brothers looked into it, but it turns out that all the

Mexicans in our industry, they're already here.

You didn't tell me they were thinking about moving the factory.

Ernie, I don't listen to your messages.

What? Why not? Dude, you call me when you see a hot girl on the freeway. Then

you take up five minutes of my voicemail. Judge! Judge! Judge!

Any luck finding a lawyer for your mom?

Yeah, but they're all $200 an hour.

$200? That's outrageous.

Benny isn't going to go to jail for something she did 30 years ago.

What defender?

No way.

Well, with everything that's going on, we've got a lot of bills coming in. We

need to talk about this.

Ernie, do you mind giving us some privacy?

But I just opened this can.

I mean, I could put it in the fridge, but it's not going to be fizzy later.

Oh, you've got that get out look.

Do you need to hear it? No.

Angie, we always do.

Yeah, but we have a new one.

I didn't get a chance to tell you this because you were dealing with your mom,

but Carmen got into college.

Carmen got accepted?

That's great!

Yes. Our little girl is going to be the first Lopez to go to college.

For more than two weeks.

Thank you.

And on top of that, we have all the expenses with the baby.

Angie, this is crazy.

We can't handle another kid at our age.

What about adoption?

I am not giving up this baby.

I'm talking about Mac.

You know, he smells funky.

You know, he sleeps till noon. I don't see what we're getting out of the deal.

I'm just worried that our bills are going to bury us.

Don't worry, all right? I've got a plan.

We're going to get my mom a great lawyer and deal with the rest of the bills

later. That's not a plan.

I didn't finish.

Then we're going to play the lottery, right?

And then we're going to invent something that everyone needs, like socks that

have sandpaper at the end.

So that way when you walk, you trim your toenails.

There might be a bleeding issue, but this is just off the top of my head.

Come here, not dressed.

My mom's hearing's in an hour. Tell her I'm sorry, but I can't make it. I have

to help Carmen finish packing.

I can't believe our baby's leaving for college today. She just got accepted two

weeks ago.

Come on. Look, she got a job on campus. Angie, this is a good thing.

We fed this baby bird for 18 years.

And now it's time to nudge her out of the nest.

She'll either fly or she'll land in the yard and the neighbor's cattle eat half

her body.

Great news.

Lindsay finally said yes.

What got him married?

Oh, come on.

Congratulate me.

Daddy, Carmen is leaving today for college. George has to go to his

hearing. We've got other things on our minds.

Yeah, I know what the problem is. You can't accept the fact that I'm marrying

woman who's only 27.

I can accept that she's 27, Vic. What I'm not so sure about, dude, is that is

she really a woman?

When you asked her to marry you, did she look in your eyes and say, I will?

You come home as soon as the hearing's over. Carmen really wants you to come to

the airport.

I'll be there.

So, I guess congratulations are in order for you.

Look, we don't know if my mom's going to prison yet.

No.

I heard you're having a baby.

Oh, yeah.

But you don't sound too excited.

I'm not. Look, I thought I was done raising kids, but what can I do?

Wait.

There's something important I need to say to you, son.

And it's something that helps me whenever I'm facing tough times.

I'm marrying a 27 -year -old!

That's great, Vic. You know, in ten years, when she goes to her high school

reunion, she can take your ashes.

That's not an ashtray. You just fit your gum in my husband.

Where's the judge, man? I gotta take my daughter to the airport.

Oh, it'll be a while, George.

The judge is running late.

You know, I'm not paying you till the judge gets here.

Sorry, old chum, but if I'm in the court, I'm on the clock.

Well, if I'm paying you, then you're going to work. Hey, give me some coffee.

ever fetched coffee for a client before?

And again, I've never had a client agree to pay me $200 an hour. Would you like

cream?

Mom. Narc.

All right, if we're going to get this thing thrown out, you have to make a

impression on the judge.

So when you talk about yourself, accentuate the quality.

Make you look empathetic.

You don't have any of those. Stick to the facts, Mom.

The facts are going to get me sent to jail.

Facts are subjective.

Last night, I had a romantic liaison with my secretary in the office.

My wife called.

I told her I couldn't come home because I had something on my desk that needed

my attention.

Now, did I lie?

Corchino, yeah, you lied.

I hear what you're saying.

Mom, don't do this, okay? If you get caught lying, you're going to make this

worse.

Yeah, you're right. George, lying never works.

You're the smartest guy I know.

Sorry I'm late.

Be seated.

Okay, let's get started.

We're here to determine if the United States v.

Benita Lopez will be going to trial. I'll hear from both sides. Is the

present? Here, Your Honor.

Okay, Ms. Lopez. Now, why don't you tell me what happened on the day in question

when the convenience store was robbed?

Well, it started out like any other day.

I was on my way to church.

From the soup kitchen.

Before I started my shift at the Braille Institute.

Your Honor,

I demand that this case be thrown out.

On what grounds?

Due to my mom's sexual history.

It is impossible for her to get a fair trial in Southern California.

The jury...

No jury here. This is my calling. Besides, who are you? Are you acting as

attorney? Uh, no.

Um... I'm her son. Hello.

Well, go have a seat, son, and don't say another word or I'll hold you in

contempt.

Yes, Your Honor. I could never do nothing in court.

You'd be lucky to hold me because I can talk whenever I want because I'm a human

being. Second, I don't... You don't like... Get down!

but we have to get going if Carmen's going to make a flight.

What is it?

I got my period.

I'm not pregnant.

I guess the test was a false positive.

Well, that happens sometimes.

Oh, Princess, I'm so sorry.

George is going to be relieved.

What about you?

It's funny, I wasn't sure how I felt. It was so unplanned.

But now, I'm a little sad.

Remember how I used to cheer you up when you were a little girl?

I don't think the tickle monster is going to help me right now.

Probably not.

But remember, the thing about tickle monsters is that... You never know when

they're going to attack.

Okay,

okay, okay. Thank you, Daddy. You can stop now.

I know you're too old for this.

But age means nothing to the tickle monster.

The truth is, Your Honor, it couldn't have been me in the car at

the convenience store.

I was busy donating bone marrow to a stranger.

Thank you, Ms. Lopez.

Have a seat.

Does the prosecution have anything they wish to say?

Yeah.

We have a videotape from the parking lot security camera of the defendant

driving the getaway car.

We have blown up the tape and you can see her laughing and stuffing money into

her bra.

Also, she was wearing the same shirt she is wearing now.

Trial is set for three days. Three weeks from today.

Angie, I'm here.

Carmen?

They couldn't wait anymore. Mom had to take Carmen to the airport.

I can't believe I missed her.

Since you'll probably miss it when I go to college, want to say goodbye to me

now?

College? Dude, I've seen your report card. You're going to live above the

like Fonzie.

Where were you?

I got held up in court.

Are you okay?

Angie.

Yeah, honey.

I'm really glad we're gonna have this baby.

Really?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Because...

I thought you might actually be relieved if you found out we weren't having this

baby. No.

No, look.

I didn't know Carmen's leaving would hit me like this.

The baby's the one thing we gotta look forward to.

So you're ready to raise another kid?

Yeah. Aren't you?

Yeah.

I'd like that.

We're going to see you in nine months. Or maybe ten or eleven months.

It depends on the date of conception, so don't start counting weeks or anything.

What are you talking about?

Nothing. Hormones.

So, I forgot to ask. What happened with your mom?

Oh.

She's going to trial.

You'll probably get out before your grandma does.