All language subtitles for George Lopez s05e21 Discovers How

Hey, George, here you go.

I feel pretty good about this. I think I
got a good shot at winning the contest.

Nice job, brother. You're in the lead.
Really?

All right, Reno!

Oh, now you're in second.

Third.

Hey, Ernie, you're back in the lead.
Really?

No, how could that be possible?

All right, everyone, the contest is
over. I need your productivity numbers.

Let's see who's going to Reno.

Hey, George, ask me where I'm going.

I already know where you're going, Mom.
It's hot, full of sinners, and you'll be

dating Hitler. That's his punishment.

No, I'm going to Reno because I am going
to win the contest. I asked around.

Nobody's got as good a number as mine.

No way. You made these up.

Uh -uh. Go out there and check the
warehouse.

See, I haven't worked so hard since I
tried to teach you how to spell cat.

You never taught me anything. You just
punished me.

Wasn't hooked on phonics. I was hooked
to a radiator.

Look, I know that I have got the highest
number. So, like I told the guy I

picked up at Thirsty's last night, cut
the chit -chat and give Mama what she

came for.

All right.

Everyone gather round.

Look, I just want to thank you all for
working so hard this last month.

You're all winners and you all should be
going to Reno.

I said should!

Only one of you is going.

Just hand out the trip.

Okay, Mom.

The winner is... Gina Sorenstam. I dare
him to go to Reno!

This is crap!

I should have won and you know it! I had
the highest numbers!

Age don't count, sweetheart.

I just want everyone to know that I did
not sleep with George to get this.

a trip for two and I don't have anyone
to take with me.

Sleeping in a king -sized bed is going
to be awfully lonely.

Without a king.

A fine -ass king.

Gina, the hotel in Reno doesn't have
turndown service, but I do. No.

You fixed it. You're crazy. No, I should
have won, but you just couldn't let me,

could you? Huh? Because you know why?
You have never won anything in your

life. Hey, I won lots of things. You
just weren't there to see it. A Little

League championship, a battle of the
bands, funniest kid in third grade.

Where does a skunk go to college?

P .U.

It still holds up.

So that's why you wouldn't let me win
this trip, huh? Because I missed a few

things? Mom, it's over. You lost.

Get back to work. No, it's not over.

You screwed me, and now I am going to
get you.

It's payback time.

Oh, uh, what are you going to do, raise
me again?

There's nothing you can do to hurt me
now.

We'll see about that.

one of your loved ones will die.

This can't be happening.

You had a lifetime guarantee I was
supposed to go first.

You!

How does it feel to have something
stolen from you? Hurt, doesn't it? If

touch another one of my clubs, Mom, I
swear to God, I will take your... I will

hurt your...

Damn it, there's nothing she cares
about.

What is going on? We had a productivity
contest at work, and my mom's mad

because she lost. Don't call me mom.

You are not my son anymore.

Yes!

Finally, the nightmare ends.

Maybe now I can find a real mom. I'm
going to put an ad in the paper.

Looking for non -smoker.

Must be adult height.

Angie, he cheated me. I should have won.
I had the highest numbers.

Is that true?

Did he have the highest numbers? Look,
she's been cheating on her time card for

years. What does that have to do with
this contest?

I did the work.

Well, whoever did the most work should
win. I mean, George, you have to be a

of your word. Why?

She's never been a man of her word.

I said if I got a B, that I could go to
Treetop Rangers camp.

Well, I got the B.

But you never let me go, did you, Mom?

Oh, my God.

That was like 30 years ago.

When did this stop?

Boy, the bucket never comes up empty
from your pity well, does it?

While all the kids were camping and
getting Indian names, I was alone in the

backyard.

So I had to come up with my own name,
Boy Who Plays With Himself.

After I told the other rangers my name,
nobody would do the secret handshake

with me anymore.

George, George, I am so sorry that I
didn't let you go camping.

I'm sorry I wasn't the perfect mom, but
I won this trip fair and square.

You just don't get it, do you? Angie,
explain to my mom why I can't give her

trip. Explain.

Too wrong, don't make a right.

That's a weird way to put it, but thank
you.

I was talking about you.

What?

As horrible as she was to you, and you
were horrible.

That was in the past. You can't punish
her for that now.

Are you siding with my mom?

George, right is right.

No!

You're my wife.

I support you. You support me.

Think very carefully about the next
thing you say.

Are you siding with my mom? I'm siding
with your mom.

I don't think you understood me.

Because I will leave this house right
now unless you back me up. So, are you

siding with your husband or are you
siding with my mom? I'm siding with your

mom. Last chance!

Your mom. Yeah!

And our waitress is beautiful.

So fool, ask her out.

No way, she's out of my league.

Here you go, boys. Two more shots of
mezcal. Anything else I can get you?

Uh, yeah, my friend has something he
wants to ask you.

Ask her, man, ask.

Ask her.

Um, I was wondering, um, Friday night
around seven, um,

what's your soup gonna be?

We don't have soup. Sorry for wasting
your time.

My bad. Wow, she didn't go for the soup
line. She's obviously a lesbian.

What's your soup? Da loco, what's your
soup?

Ali, you don't have to take it out on me
just because you have problems at home.

I can't believe Angie took my mom's side
after all that that woman's done to me.

Hey, George, you might have had a rough
childhood, but you got a great life now.

Okay, you got Angie, a great family. You
managed the plant. You got Angie.

You said Angie twice.

Did I?

I'm sure it doesn't mean anything.

Dude, all I know is for somebody who has
a better life than I do, you should

complain a lot.

You know what? That's easy for you to
say. You had a great mom.

Don't drink that, George.

You got the one with the worm, man. That
thing has all kinds of weird

psychedelic properties.

No, it doesn't.

Hey, maybe I'll have a psychedelic
vision and forget all about my horrible

Nope. Nothing.

See? I'm fine with that. Hello.

Okay. Hey, but if you start feeling
weird, lock me! No!

trying to make you more comfortable.

What was that? Hey, what did you do to
me?

Kicked you, funny bunny.

Warm cinnamon roll?

What's going on?

Oh, you dozed off watching TV.

Where am I? You're home, Angel.

Home?

Angel? Hey, are you drunk?

Drinking before five.

I don't think so.

Look at all these pictures of me.

Yes, it's almost time to put up the
summer ones.

So I live here with you? Well, until you
meet a girl who's good enough for you.

And you know, I don't think someone like
that really exists.

You know, I had the weirdest dream.

That you were always mean to me, telling
me that my head was too big.

You could never.

God made your head that way so it could
cradle that big, wonderful brain.

Lemonade?

What's this?

Oh, that's the weekend you went camping
with the treetop rangers.

I went?

What are you doing there?

I went to the dance. mother silly. Oh,
we had the best time ever.

Well, you must remember that cub at Mama
Bear's side.

That's my Indian name.

Yes, and it's still true.

I love you.

I love you, Mom.

I love you more.

This is weird.

Your hair smells like shampoo instead of
cigarettes.

I don't know what's going on, but it's
awesome.

Joe!

I'll see you at lunch, Mom. Oh,
actually, honey, we need to talk. Now,

upset, but word around the factory is
that there are going to be some layoffs,

and your name has been mentioned. Me?
What did I just...

Don't you worry about a thing.

It doesn't matter to me if you keep this
job or not. I'll always love you.

You'll always be cub at Mama Bear's
side.

All right, everyone.

I'm afraid we're going to have to let
some of you go.

It's a hard decision to make, so I'm not
going to do it.

I'm going to turn it over to the best
damn manager this plan ever had.

That would be me. Watch out.

Hello.

Thanks, Mel. I got it from here.

Now, I'm going to give you all a chance
to fight for your job, all right?

George, you're first.

Ernie. Ernie, I just want you to know,
if my job is in jeopardy, I'll do

anything you want.

You say jump, I'll say... On what?

Good to know, Gina.

I'm going to get right to the point,
George.

In your department, I've got to fire one
guy. It's between you and Mikey Cruz.

No, not Mikey. He's got a wife and three
kids. He needs his job. What's he going

to do?

Oh, Kayla, George.

Your job's at stake, and you're sticking
up for the other guy.

This is your problem.

You're a good worker, but you're just
too soft.

I'm not soft.

I was playing Monopoly last night with
my mom, and she landed on my property,

and she didn't have any money, and I
said, soft can't pay up.

George, you're my best friend.

I'm going to protect your job on this,
but you've got to learn to stick up for

yourself. Grow some backbone.

I got backbone.

Oh, please.

That's not true. I just haven't found
anyone good enough.

My mom says she might not even exist.

There's plenty of women right here at
the factory.

What about Tanya?

You're coming over to dinner tonight.

Why don't you bring her?

I told you, I already have a date. I'm
bringing my mom.

Tanya.

Ernie, what are you doing? She's out of
my league.

Tanya, George has something to ask you.

Come here. George, come here.

Oh, man, that's a girl.

Ask her.

Ask her. Ask her. Ask her.

Um, I was just thinking, uh, later on,
around seven,

do you think there's still going to be
any coffee left?

How the hell should I know?

Sorry for bothering you.

Hey, my bad, man. She didn't go for the
coffee line. She's obviously a lesbian.

Will there be any coffee left at that
local? Will there be any coffee left?

but you gotta hide it better than that,
sorry.

Don't be so hard on George.

I'm flattered.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, we heard someone yelling.

You could hear the earth turning with
those ears.

Hey, don't make fun of my kids, brother.

Yeah, your kids.

Oh, man.

Kids, why don't you go wash up? Dinner
will be ready in a minute.

What's for dinner, Beto? What's for
dessert?

What do you want? You know what I want.
Watch out. Stop it!

Stop what?

I can't take it anymore, man. Angie's my
wife. Those are my kids.

This is my house, and this is my life.

You're losing it, man.

Daddy, will you take a look at George? I
think there's something wrong with him.

I'll tell you what's wrong.

My mom loves me.

In my professional opinion, you are
having a hallucinogenic reaction to

me.

I'm in your belly.

Watch me dance.

George! George, wake up! George!

George, wake up! Wake up!

What's going on?

Dude, you wake up!

No, I'm the manager of the factory.

Angie's my wife.

My mom's an evil woman, right?

Yeah, what's wrong with you?

Man, I had this weird dream that my mom
was sweet and she took care of me.

That must have been great.

No, everything was backwards.

You had my job and were married to
Angie.

I was?

And you guys were kissing and
everything. Isn't that crazy?

freaking worm you have.

Better than Ernie, huh?

I told you it was a Christmas party ten
years ago. He ambushed me under the

mistletoe. Let it go.

I love you, Angie. I love you so much
and the kids and everything. I couldn't

ask for a better life. Mom!

You know what I just realized, Angie?
That I had the guts to go after you and

the manager's job, too.

All because my mom was so tough on me.

I just found a tiny diamond in the pile
of crap that was my childhood!

What do you want?

You're going to Reno.

I knew you'd back down, you big wuss.

Thank you, Mom.

For what? For saying things like that.

I'm anything but a wuss.

If you weren't so tough on me, I'd be
the type of person who just sat back and

let somebody destroy my clubs. Instead,
I'm the type of person who breaks into

their car and takes this.

That's my steering wheel. You'll get it
back when I get back my golf clubs and

the new driver you're going to buy me.
How am I supposed to do that if I can't

use my car?

I'm going to say the same thing to you
that you said to me when I was eight and

I stepped on that nail that went through
my foot.

Not my problem!

I got your message.

How many worms did he eat? I cut him off
at five.

Dude, you know you're dancing?

Yeah, I know.

Well, do you know you're dancing alone?

You'll have to dip me, Ernie.

I don't have any arms.

Okay, time to go home. Follow the
shining star.