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1
00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:05,680
Look at Matt.
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00:00:05,780 --> 00:00:08,380
He knows he's not supposed to be on the
Internet when we're not at home.
3
00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:10,260
What do you think he's looking at?
4
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:12,459
I don't know.
5
00:00:12,460 --> 00:00:15,280
He's a boy. He's 14. He's alone. I'm
sure he's checking his stocks.
6
00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:16,679
What?
7
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,760
What do you think he's looking at,
Angie? That's a magic box full of naked
8
00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:20,760
women.
9
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,380
Well, we'll never see.
10
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:26,320
He's so fast, the second we go in there,
he's going to sign off.
11
00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:27,540
Not this time.
12
00:00:32,580 --> 00:00:33,580
What does it say?
13
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:37,900
He's got a website. He's talking online
to somebody named The Girl.
14
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,460
Relax. That's Zoe.
15
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,400
She's 13. She lives in Chicago.
16
00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:42,920
I met her in a chat room.
17
00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:44,260
Max, this is the Internet.
18
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:47,520
For all you know, you could be talking
to some old dude who stands at the
19
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all day wearing boxers and eating
cereal.
20
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:52,640
Mr. Basket?
21
00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:53,760
The carpet street?
22
00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:58,660
Yes. He watched me mow the lawn
yesterday. It was hot, but I put my
23
00:00:58,660 --> 00:01:00,540
on because no one gets this show for
free.
24
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,590
What's with all... the noise. You just
woke me up.
25
00:01:05,910 --> 00:01:09,710
You left Max alone. He was talking to
some stranger on the internet.
26
00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:12,610
We pay to watch our kids not get drunk
and pass out on the couch.
27
00:01:13,830 --> 00:01:15,870
Hey, I'm one for two.
28
00:01:16,090 --> 00:01:17,090
Carmen's okay.
29
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:18,110
Is she still here?
30
00:01:19,850 --> 00:01:23,650
Don't worry, okay? The way she was
dressed, she will get a ride home.
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00:01:26,470 --> 00:01:30,310
Can I please get back on the internet? I
can show you Zoe's girl. She sent me
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00:01:30,310 --> 00:01:31,310
her picture.
33
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,220
That picture could be fake.
34
00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:37,900
Ernie uses Antonio Banderas' picture to
pick up women online.
35
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:42,240
Then when he meets them, he tells them
he gained weight for Zorro the later
36
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:43,240
years.
37
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:45,320
Dad, you're wrong.
38
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:49,380
Zoe's a girl, and she gets me. She LOL'd
at all of my jokes.
39
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:51,780
I'm going to show you the type of person
you're really talking to.
40
00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:52,980
What are you doing?
41
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:54,980
Pretending to be you. What's your screen
name?
42
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:57,940
Ripped to the max.
43
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,020
There's only one thing you rip.
44
00:02:10,959 --> 00:02:13,160
Dude, I think the twins are switching on
it.
45
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:17,740
Why would they do that? They're testing
us. They want to make sure that we know
46
00:02:17,740 --> 00:02:20,380
they're different, that they each have
unique personalities.
47
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,840
Here, you take this, and you put a mark
on one of them so we can tell the
48
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:28,840
difference.
49
00:02:31,790 --> 00:02:33,750
You want me to brand my date?
50
00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:42,090
What are you wearing?
51
00:02:42,310 --> 00:02:43,550
What are you doing? I'm chatting with
someone.
52
00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:47,310
Yeah. Someone who wants to know what
you're wearing? Who asked that?
53
00:02:47,770 --> 00:02:48,770
I asked that.
54
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:52,130
You see?
55
00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:54,170
Creepy.
56
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,630
That doesn't sound like Mac.
57
00:02:58,170 --> 00:02:59,170
Who's Mac?
58
00:03:00,590 --> 00:03:01,890
He's my friend who lives in California.
59
00:03:02,130 --> 00:03:03,130
I met him online.
60
00:03:03,290 --> 00:03:07,090
Are you out of your mind? You have no
idea what kind of perverts hang out in
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00:03:07,090 --> 00:03:08,049
these chat rooms.
62
00:03:08,050 --> 00:03:10,630
People lie about themselves all the
time, Zoe.
63
00:03:10,970 --> 00:03:12,490
And not just on the Internet.
64
00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:19,230
I know a guy who pretended to be
homeless so he could meet this hot girl
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00:03:19,230 --> 00:03:20,270
worked at a soup kitchen.
66
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:27,370
I totally had her until I invited her
back to my penthouse.
67
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,180
Let's see how old Max really is.
68
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,220
Uncle Pretty. I'm going to beat you.
69
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:43,260
Are you sure you're 14?
70
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:48,640
Because you sound way more mature than
any 14 -year -old I know.
71
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,840
You know he can't hear you. I'm in
character.
72
00:03:57,980 --> 00:03:59,860
I am mature for my age.
73
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,120
I do lots of adult things.
74
00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:05,660
Adult things?
75
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:07,880
Oh, come on. This is no 14 -year -old.
76
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:10,900
Yeah, I'm with you.
77
00:04:12,260 --> 00:04:18,019
People only make age a big deal because
they're trying to stop you from doing
78
00:04:18,019 --> 00:04:19,779
stuff that's fun.
79
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:24,880
There it is. You see that, Max? Anything
fun is sexual.
80
00:04:25,820 --> 00:04:26,820
True that.
81
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:33,680
that doesn't sound like zoe because i
tricked zoe into revealing his true
82
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:39,760
identity now i'ma draw him out i like to
do fun things too like skateboarding
83
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:45,160
video games oh tickle party okay
84
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:52,700
let's
85
00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:58,280
see if he'll give up where he lives if
you tell me the address
86
00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:05,650
Of this pickle party, I'll tell you
where my pickle spot is.
87
00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:11,590
Pickle spot? That's not a girl. They
never tell you where it is. They try to
88
00:05:11,590 --> 00:05:14,250
make you find it. And when you can't,
they make you feel bad.
89
00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:20,910
Give me your address, and I'll give you
mine.
90
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:22,530
Sure.
91
00:05:24,370 --> 00:05:26,130
Just give me yours first.
92
00:05:27,770 --> 00:05:28,770
That's it?
93
00:05:28,910 --> 00:05:30,530
He knows I'm on to him and he won't
break.
94
00:05:32,670 --> 00:05:35,790
I knew it. I spooked him away.
95
00:05:36,990 --> 00:05:40,410
I bet with this guy's email address I
can find out where he lives.
96
00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:42,210
I'm gonna call the cops on your ass.
97
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:54,790
All my friends know the lowrider.
98
00:05:57,130 --> 00:06:01,470
The lowrider. Brother, just a little
higher.
99
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,890
Officer, I don't think you're taking me
seriously.
100
00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:18,850
Is she talking to a police?
101
00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:21,490
Yeah, we think a guy's stalking Max on
the Internet.
102
00:06:22,030 --> 00:06:23,390
Bloody Omeo, that's horrible.
103
00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:28,110
I did think Cuba there was no internet
with strangers trying to lure you away.
104
00:06:28,710 --> 00:06:32,050
If an old man put his hand in your
pants, he was looking for food.
105
00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:36,310
Why were you walking around with food in
your pants? Why didn't you just use a
106
00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:37,310
paper bag?
107
00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:39,790
And leave my dad without a briefcase?
108
00:06:43,030 --> 00:06:44,070
I don't think so.
109
00:06:47,330 --> 00:06:48,350
Max, get down here!
110
00:06:50,470 --> 00:06:53,430
I understand you're swamped, detective,
but...
111
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,240
1 ,500 cases?
112
00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:56,980
No wonder you're so behind.
113
00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:59,020
Give me the phone. You're being too
nice.
114
00:07:00,780 --> 00:07:02,620
My son is being stalked on the Internet.
115
00:07:03,860 --> 00:07:07,060
No, I can't prove the guy's an adult.
That's your job. Get off your lazy butt
116
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,060
and do it.
117
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,740
Hey, don't threaten me with unpaid
tickets.
118
00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:14,560
There are a lot of George Lopez's in L
.A. Just try to find me.
119
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:19,320
Yeah, that's my address, but what room
am I calling you from?
120
00:07:24,620 --> 00:07:26,240
The cops aren't going to help us. We're
on our own.
121
00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:31,940
Okay, put a filter on the computer so
now you can use it again.
122
00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:33,420
Finally.
123
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:37,260
You know, if I get an F on my history
report, it's because you wouldn't let me
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00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:38,340
do research on the Internet.
125
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,140
You could have gone to the library and
opened up a book.
126
00:07:41,940 --> 00:07:43,640
Why is everything a joke to you?
127
00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:49,520
Okay, but from now on, you can't IM
anyone or go into any chat room without
128
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,100
approval, and only I know the secret
password.
129
00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:54,100
Is it WAPA?
130
00:07:58,280 --> 00:07:59,280
Not anymore.
131
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:02,780
This isn't fair.
132
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:08,280
Why can't you guys trust me? Max, honey,
you're only 14. You're still a little
133
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,080
naive. No, I'm not.
134
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:12,840
Max, I get you every time with that fake
stain thing.
135
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,860
I would do it right now if you didn't
already have a big one right there.
136
00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:22,640
Well, at least I'm not the guy who has
magic underwear to help the Raiders win.
137
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:27,220
Hey, I know my underwear don't have any
magic powers.
138
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,840
Not since someone bleached the magic
right out of them.
139
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,299
Spring freshness. I love that spring
freshness.
140
00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:38,880
Mom and Dad won't let me use the
Internet.
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00:08:39,159 --> 00:08:41,419
They think I'm talking to some old perv.
142
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,240
Well, that's bad.
143
00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:46,160
There's a desperate old perv out there
who can't get anyone but you.
144
00:08:49,170 --> 00:08:50,170
It's a girl.
145
00:08:50,670 --> 00:08:53,110
Hey, can I use your cell phone to email
her?
146
00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:58,590
Um, normally I'd say no, but there's a
chance you could be wrong and get
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00:08:58,590 --> 00:09:00,030
abducted. So here.
148
00:09:14,550 --> 00:09:17,010
Sorry about that. My parents kicked me
off the computer.
149
00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:22,470
That's okay.
150
00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:27,010
My uncle has a business trip to LA and
I'm gonna ask if I can go with him we
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00:09:27,010 --> 00:09:32,430
actually meet That would be cool
152
00:09:32,430 --> 00:09:39,290
What are you thinking
153
00:09:39,290 --> 00:09:43,490
I told you not to talk to this guy
anymore max you're grounded dad stop
154
00:09:43,490 --> 00:09:44,790
out It's a girl.
155
00:09:45,090 --> 00:09:49,150
This is how people my age hook up It's
not like when you and Mom were dating,
156
00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:51,270
you just went down to the disco and did
the toot.
157
00:09:53,870 --> 00:09:57,770
Let's make one thing clear. Your mother
and I never did drugs, and we never,
158
00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:02,190
ever set foot in a disco. This is a
metal family.
159
00:10:03,590 --> 00:10:06,770
That's why your name is Max, the loudest
setting on an amplifier.
160
00:10:06,970 --> 00:10:07,970
You were almost reverb Lopez.
161
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:11,310
Dad, I'm gonna talk to Zoe.
162
00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:15,170
I'll at least use one of my friend's
phones at school if I have to. You can't
163
00:10:15,170 --> 00:10:16,170
stop me.
164
00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:17,510
There was fear about that.
165
00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:23,510
Well, you raised your voice and you gave
him a vague threat.
166
00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:28,130
You did everything they told you to do
in weak parenting magazines.
167
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:32,990
No, please, please, don't give me that
disappointed look.
168
00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:35,550
It affects my self -esteem.
169
00:10:38,350 --> 00:10:42,010
I think seeing you climbing out of a
trucker's cab at dawn with your clothes
170
00:10:42,010 --> 00:10:43,150
backwards would take care of that.
171
00:10:46,090 --> 00:10:48,070
Oh, man, the guy after Max is coming to
L .A.
172
00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:50,430
All right, fool, come out here.
173
00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:53,250
I'll set a trap and take care of you
once and for all.
174
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:57,990
Zoe, I said I don't want you talking to
this guy. He's not what you think.
175
00:10:58,190 --> 00:10:59,790
You'll see when we meet him in L .A.
176
00:11:00,130 --> 00:11:01,130
We?
177
00:11:01,190 --> 00:11:04,390
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. You're not
going anywhere. This is a business
178
00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:06,730
trip. Then why are you taking Chris with
you?
179
00:11:07,290 --> 00:11:09,250
Because he's my business partner.
180
00:11:10,530 --> 00:11:12,190
And I can get him into the Playboy
Mansion.
181
00:11:15,810 --> 00:11:16,870
Dude, you record that?
182
00:11:17,550 --> 00:11:21,390
Come on, man. You know how smooth I am.
I just called them up. I was like, yo,
183
00:11:21,830 --> 00:11:23,850
Chris and Freddy are rolling into town.
184
00:11:24,790 --> 00:11:25,790
So much.
185
00:11:25,970 --> 00:11:28,510
It's five grand apiece and we're gay
designers from Germany.
186
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:34,490
But not so gay we can't be turned.
187
00:11:44,140 --> 00:11:48,120
I can't wait to meet you in L .A. I even
know a place where we can be alone.
188
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,240
This guy doesn't give up.
189
00:11:51,340 --> 00:11:52,340
All right, dirtbag.
190
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,820
Sounds great. I'll email you when I get
there.
191
00:11:58,420 --> 00:12:01,200
When this guy gets to Ernie's apartment,
Mom, I'm going to beat the crap out of
192
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,200
him.
193
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,600
Yeah, want me there for backup?
194
00:12:05,980 --> 00:12:08,600
You know, Mom, I would, but at Ernie's
apartment, they don't allow pets.
195
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,440
I think I can handle this myself.
196
00:12:12,970 --> 00:12:13,970
Are you kidding me?
197
00:12:14,390 --> 00:12:18,730
Come on, George. You got your lunch
money stolen by that little girl next
198
00:12:18,730 --> 00:12:19,930
who had a hole in her heart.
199
00:12:20,690 --> 00:12:22,690
Hey, when you got nothing to lose, you
fight that way.
200
00:12:24,670 --> 00:12:28,010
I thought her oxygen tank would slow her
down, but she wrapped that hose around
201
00:12:28,010 --> 00:12:29,150
my neck and I was all like that.
202
00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:45,510
Have you heard from the predator? Is he
in L .A. yet? Shh, no, man, keep it
203
00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:47,490
down. I didn't tell Angie because I
don't want her to worry.
204
00:12:48,230 --> 00:12:50,770
Yeah. Hey, it's scary with all those
creeps on the Internet.
205
00:12:51,090 --> 00:12:54,330
Things were a lot simpler when we were
kids. You knew who the bad guys were?
206
00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:57,830
They'd show up in a van and ask you to
help them find their puppy, you know?
207
00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:00,810
That happen to you?
208
00:13:00,990 --> 00:13:02,030
No, I was too fat.
209
00:13:03,410 --> 00:13:05,830
Yeah, the van slowed down and looked at
me, but then kept right on going.
210
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:09,890
I tried to jump in one time, but the
vato locked the door from the inside.
211
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,360
He's here.
212
00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:16,020
Can't wait to meet you.
213
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:22,120
I'm at 6739 Magnolia, apartment 2B.
214
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,860
My parents are out of town.
215
00:13:25,580 --> 00:13:27,500
Hey, wait a minute. That's my apartment.
216
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:32,840
What are the neighbors going to think
when some creepy, weird dude shows up?
217
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,140
I don't know. What did they think when
you moved in?
218
00:13:38,220 --> 00:13:39,540
Where are you guys going?
219
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:43,980
We're going to pick up a... Overtime
shift at the factory.
220
00:13:45,020 --> 00:13:48,680
George, what's going on? Where are you
really going?
221
00:13:49,020 --> 00:13:50,020
Out, okay?
222
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,080
Out.
223
00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:54,360
Ernie, where are you going?
224
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:58,320
If you lie to me, I will be very, very
sad.
225
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,460
We're going to go beat up Max's online
pervert.
226
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:07,580
Dude, I can't lie to her. I don't know
how you do it all the time.
227
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,450
Baby, I only lie to protect you.
228
00:14:14,970 --> 00:14:15,970
Don't give me that crap.
229
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:19,630
You're just afraid to tell me the truth
because you don't think I can handle it.
230
00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:22,210
Okay. Want to know how to some truth?
Here's this.
231
00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:25,910
You know why we got the house so cheap?
Because a horrible crime was committed
232
00:14:25,910 --> 00:14:27,110
here. Here's the hint.
233
00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:30,650
There may be something to that
frightened old lady who runs through
234
00:14:32,390 --> 00:14:33,470
Oh, no.
235
00:14:34,010 --> 00:14:35,290
Well, now I want to move.
236
00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:38,190
Are you kidding? We'll never sell this
house. There was a bloodbath here.
237
00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:43,320
I can't believe you, Lord Max. It's
stalker here.
238
00:14:43,660 --> 00:14:46,980
I'm going to call the police. They will
handle this. You already tried that. The
239
00:14:46,980 --> 00:14:49,660
cops aren't going to do anything until
it's too late. I'm going to solve this
240
00:14:49,660 --> 00:14:50,880
the Lopez way.
241
00:14:52,380 --> 00:14:54,920
When are you going to admit there's no
Lopez way?
242
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:59,160
That's just what you say right before
you do something stupid or wrong.
243
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:01,280
You got a better idea?
244
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,240
No, but I think we should talk about
this.
245
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:05,800
Yeah, what's that, the Angie way?
246
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,560
Talk, talk, talk until you come up with
a reasonable solution.
247
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,560
Well, we're not going to do that this
time.
248
00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:14,560
You are not going to walk out that door.
249
00:15:14,940 --> 00:15:15,940
Yes, I am.
250
00:15:16,020 --> 00:15:19,100
Ernie and I are going to make sure that
this guy never messes with any kids
251
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:23,060
anymore. You don't know what you're
getting into. What if this guy stands
252
00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:24,060
ground and fights?
253
00:15:24,260 --> 00:15:25,139
We're prepared.
254
00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:26,480
Right, Ernie? Hey, that's right.
255
00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:27,780
Watch out. Cup check.
256
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:29,220
Cup check.
257
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,240
Oh!
258
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:36,500
Hey, man, you don't say cup check unless
you're wearing one.
259
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,700
me and look like my tough friend. Oh,
all right.
260
00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:08,600
You know what, man? Just watch TV.
261
00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:09,820
Oh, okay.
262
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,520
Hey, if that's him, don't say anything.
Just buzz him in. Yeah, it's either him
263
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:15,600
or the pizza I ordered.
264
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,720
Ernie! Well, I didn't know how long this
was gonna go.
265
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,900
Dude, can't you go an hour without
cheese?
266
00:16:35,470 --> 00:16:39,550
I'm gonna knock on the door. When a guy
opens it, we grab him. I gotta be
267
00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:43,810
honest. I'm as committed to this as you
are, but it's very important to me that
268
00:16:43,810 --> 00:16:47,770
nothing above the neck or below the
waist is in any danger.
269
00:16:49,590 --> 00:16:51,270
We've got the element of surprise.
270
00:16:51,570 --> 00:16:55,090
This guy's expecting a 13 -year -old
girl, and I've seen you fight.
271
00:16:55,310 --> 00:16:57,230
You're at least a 15 -year -old girl.
272
00:16:58,570 --> 00:17:03,650
A 15 -year -old girl whose Pilates
instructor says he has the strongest
273
00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:04,650
the class.
274
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:27,760
I think he's kidding.
275
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:16,920
Face most of the time anyway.
276
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:25,880
Give it up, Pearl. You're the one after
my son. Yeah, right, your son. I know
277
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,880
you really, Max. Whatever you say, Zoe.
278
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,479
Zoe's my niece.
279
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:30,439
Yeah, prove it.
280
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,980
I got a picture of her in my wallet. I
got a reach in my pocket to get it
281
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:36,000
you want to do it. You'd like that,
wouldn't you?
282
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,059
You see?
283
00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:41,940
That's me, Zoe, and her mom on her
birthday.
284
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,280
I made that cake.
285
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,680
Actually... It was a chocolate raspberry
torte with a rose petal sorbet.
286
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,160
Now I'm really afraid of you.
287
00:18:52,540 --> 00:18:55,420
Oh, man, that's the girl in the picture
Max showed me.
288
00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:57,500
Let's see some pictures of your kid.
289
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:58,720
All right.
290
00:18:58,860 --> 00:18:59,860
Family barbecue.
291
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:03,400
That's my son Max, my daughter Carmen,
and that's my wife Angie. Hello.
292
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,400
Oh, man, she's pretty.
293
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,260
Is that a garden gnome with a cigarette
in its mouth?
294
00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:11,820
No, man, that's my mom.
295
00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:16,670
Guess the kids really were talking to
each other online.
296
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,170
I guess this was all a mistake.
297
00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:22,170
Hey, you dodged a bullet today, Holmes.
298
00:19:23,090 --> 00:19:24,090
Yeah, sure.
299
00:19:24,990 --> 00:19:26,970
So, what does rent -to -own mean?
300
00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:34,050
So, uh, no hard feelings?
301
00:19:35,950 --> 00:19:36,950
Oh, cool.
302
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:40,530
Hey, why don't we grab a couple of
beers, man, and just forget all about
303
00:19:40,910 --> 00:19:41,910
Yeah, sounds good.
304
00:19:42,110 --> 00:19:43,110
Yeah, I mean...
305
00:19:43,790 --> 00:19:45,910
You know, I just need a minute to take
out my tub.
306
00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:47,310
Oh, me too. Yeah, me too.
307
00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:57,890
Good news.
308
00:19:58,290 --> 00:19:59,430
Zoe really is a girl.
309
00:19:59,630 --> 00:20:02,390
I met her uncle, and he invited us to
Chicago so you two could meet.
310
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:04,330
No way. That's so cool.
311
00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:08,830
Wait. Isn't this where you say you were
wrong?
312
00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:12,350
In fact, I was looking out for you, and
I'd do it again because I'll get you
313
00:20:12,350 --> 00:20:13,390
still a naive boy.
314
00:20:13,950 --> 00:20:14,950
I'm 14.
315
00:20:15,190 --> 00:20:18,870
I'm almost a man. I can take care of
myself. Everyone knows you're not a man
316
00:20:18,870 --> 00:20:20,370
until your hand is bigger than your
face.
317
00:20:23,330 --> 00:20:24,330
Spill soda on yourself?
318
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:25,490
Hello.
24459
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