Original subtitles

Hey, hey, clear all this stuff, okay? It's poker night.

I can't play. I got a ton of homework.

Oh, yeah.

Angie told me you were going back to school. I didn't know you had the grades

for clown college.

I'm getting a degree to inspire my son to go to college. All right, all right.

You know what? We'll play in the garage.

Okay. I think it's great that you're going back to school, George.

Thanks, Ernie. Yeah, you know, the talk of the factor is that you're going to

fail, but I think you're going to make it.

I think you're going to study as hard as you have to because that's the kind of

guy you are, George Lopez.

You got money on this?

300 bucks, you won't make it a week.

What about you, Mom? Are you betting that I'm going to flunk out of college?

No way.

I learned my lesson.

I lost a fortune when you finished high school.

All right, everybody out. I got to get through this chapter.

Honey.

You've been studying all night.

Why don't you take a break and come with us to the movie?

I don't think our little George is going anywhere until he's finished his

homework.

You know, that's a lot of attitude for somebody whose report card looks like it

has a stutter.

George!

Dad, I know I said I'd go to college if you do, but... Why can't you just admit

we're bad at school?

Because I don't give up, okay? Look, why don't you think about this while you're

at the movies? Your dad is home studying on his way to getting his first A in

college.

George, I have to say, I am really proud of the way you're... Not now, woman!

I'm freaking out!

Angie, I've been on the same page for two hours.

I'm in over my head, and don't just say it's going to be all right, because,

okay, it's not.

All right.

I'm sure you'll do your best.

That's all you got to ask me?

You want me to stay home and keep you company?

No, look, I don't need any more distractions, okay? I got to focus.

Then I will get out of your hair.

of prices when either supply or demand changes. In this example, Q is the

horizontal and Y is the vertical.

A common mistake students make is to confuse elasticity with slope.

Can anyone tell me the difference?

Mr. Lopez.

Come on, me? Come on. Look, when I want to answer a question, I'll look like

this kiss -ass.

That's right, I'm getting tired of seeing this. Oh, I know, I know. Look at

desperate.

Do you even understand what elasticity is?

Of course I do.

Why do you think I wore sweatpants to Thanksgiving dinner?

Okay.

Why don't we wrap it up for tonight?

See everyone on Wednesday.

Mr. Lopez, can I have a word with you? Uh, sure, but let's leave the door open

because people are starting to talk.

Well, it's obvious what's going on.

You don't get the material, so you're covering with humor.

So you admit I'm funny.

That's not my point.

The way things are going, you're not going to pass this class or the midterm.

I have a feeling I'm going to do just fine on the midterm.

I hope you're not one of those idiots who bought last year's midterm online

because I changed it.

Hey,

I get it now.

The test was so cheap because of the elasticity of nobody wanting it, right?

Not even close. I hope that's Spanish for it. Yikes.

All my friends know the lowrider.

The lowrider.

He's a little higher.

What's next?

I want to give him back his paintball gun.

Two weeks in a row? What are you doing? Training to take back Cuba?

Who told you that? I want names.

Relax, I was just kidding.

Oh.

Well, now that you know, I joined a group of Cuban patriots.

We conduct military exercises at an indoor paintball facility in Tarzana.

Vic, I know what it means to you to take back your homeland.

So to help with the invasion, I'm going to pitch in for some Batman walkie

-talkies.

Very funny, huh?

We will need six of those.

Just leave the gun. I'll tell Max it's here.

So, are you finding college tougher than you imagined?

Nothing I can't handle.

Why have you written in Scrod?

over your notes.

It says I'm screwed.

Come on, man. It can't be that bad.

Vic, I know you're going to get a big kick out of this, but I'm thinking, man,

I've got a midterm tomorrow and I think I'm going to fail. George, I make fun of

you sometimes, but I don't want you to fail.

At least take the test.

And give it two more days after that.

You're in the pool, aren't you?

Just for ten bucks.

Well, you can say goodbye to your ten bucks, because I think I'm going to

I just don't know how I'm going to tell my family.

You have to do what you think is right.

But let me tell you something I learned from paintball.

If you run from conflict,

you wind up with purple worlds on your buttocks.

Okay, you know what? I'm going to talk to Angie.

Thanks for your help, Vic. Very welcome.

Angie.

Honey, you have to see this.

When he got home from soccer practice, he went straight to studying.

All the time we've been telling him to work hard didn't do anything.

But seeing you study actually got through to him.

See that?

That's all you.

I guess it is.

Like his whole future's riding on the 12 hours between now and...

Tomorrow's midterm.

Honey, are you feeling a little pressure?

Angie, please.

I got this!

I'm a Lopez. Lopez don't feel pressure.

Maybe we get a little, you know, a little sweaty, you know.

Chest gets tight, we can't breathe.

You know, hair falls out in the shower.

Okay, when you joke like that, I know you're fine.

It's just one big joke.

Not worried at all.

Help.

What?

Help.

I can breathe.

Well, stop joking.

Yeah, I'm joking. I'm just fine.

Mr. Lopez?

You don't need luck when you know the answers.

I know.

That's why I said, good luck.

Wait.

Just want you to know one thing before you grade these tests.

I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot, but that's because I was mesmerized by

you and encapsulated by your beauty.

Name.

One for one.

Is there a problem, Mr. Lopez?

Mom, you are not going to believe this. My poem is going to be published in the

American Anthology of Young Writers.

I'm going to be a published poet.

That's nice, honey.

Mom, I got a B on my math test.

Oh, my God, Max, that's wonderful.

Well, you didn't ask me the title. My poem is called Invisible Girl.

Tonight is your night. I'm going to make whatever my little overachiever wants.

You know, I get these all the time. It's no big deal.

You know, you make a lot of noise for someone who's supposed to be invisible.

Mac.

Easy, special ed.

Don't talk smack to me until you can make it in class where you're allowed to

use metal scissors.

What's he talking about, metal scissors? Honey.

Let's just celebrate this moment, huh?

Can we call Dad at school? I really want to tell him. Oh, he's in flag, but

maybe they're on a break.

Dad,

I got my quiz back.

You gotta be. That's great, Max.

I'm so proud of you. Look, I gotta go, okay? The professor's gonna get mad.

One of the students answering a question. I think he got it wrong.

I think the right answer is five.

I'm sitting way in the back. Okay, I got to go.

What are you doing screaming for? We're at a driving range.

Well, I hooked it over the fence into the retirement village.

I was trying to give that old man a heads up.

It almost blew my cover.

Dude, you dropped out of college a week ago.

When are you going to stop hiding from your family and tell them the truth?

What am I supposed to do?

Look, I wanted to tell Max the truth, but for the first time in his life, he

a good grade.

That's because he saw me study.

What am I supposed to do, let him down now and tell him that I'm a quitter?

So you're going to keep lying to Max, huh?

Sometimes you have to lie to your kids to protect them.

Daddy, did my goldfish die? No, son, you think a dead goldfish could swim that

fast down a toilet?

Well, it doesn't have to be that way, George.

My parents never lied to me.

Oh, yeah? So your parents never had sex before they got married?

Charlie! No way! You know how religious my mom is?

They weighed it and did it right.

Dude, you were in the wedding photo.

There's a picture of your mom breastfeeding you at the reception.

Remember? Remember?

Carmen.

I'm really sorry I didn't seem excited earlier.

I am so proud you got a poem published.

Want to hear it?

I'd love to.

Invisible Girl by Carmen Lopez.

Oh.

I have to get that. This will just take a second.

Come on, Mormons.

I'm Tracy Lim. Your husband was in my economics class.

Oh, come on in.

Hi.

I'm sorry, did you say was in your class?

Yes, before he was called up.

Called up?

Yes, he left me a message and said he couldn't come to class anymore because

was in the reserves and his unit got called up.

My husband's in the reserves, too, and...

I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing.

I know what you're going through.

I don't think you

do.

Can you excuse me for a minute?

late from school.

Uh, yeah, well, you know, a couple of students in class are struggling, so I

stayed behind to tutor them.

Why are you icing your shoulder?

Uh, it's called ooh -ooh shoulder. It's a injury college kids get when they know

all the answers. They're like, ooh, I know!

It's degenerative.

Tracy!

Tracy? Tracy who?

I guess my secret is out.

Angie, I haven't been going to college because I enlisted in the military.

I still love you, but I also love a little lady called America. Watch out.

Before you make this any worse, you should know Professor Lim's husband is

actually in the military.

You know, normally I'd draw this out, but I think there's no chance that it's

going to get any better from here.

What's going on?

My husband lied to you.

It's like you're married to him, but without whatever the good stuff is.

Look, I didn't want to tell you I was quitting.

I don't understand.

Lots of people quit.

Why would you lie and pretend you were in the reserves when there are people

actually out there sacrificing and serving our country?

I wanted my $28 back.

You know what?

I'm glad you quit. Because all you did was disrupt my class, and you can bet I

won't miss that.

Well, this must be your teacher.

I recognize the anger and disappointment.

I'm out of here.

What am I doing?

Please tell Invisible Girl I'm sorry, but... I just can't listen to that

depressing poem anymore.

Dad, did you actually quit college?

Max, sit down.

You deserve to hear the truth, son.

I've been called up by the military.

Oh,

where have you been this whole time? You told us you were in school. You want

the real truth?

I was at the library sitting on my own.

What would you say if I opened your bag and found a receipt from the driving

range? I would say that opening that bag is breaking the circle of trust we just

started.

After my most recent series of lies.

George, how could you lie to us like that?

Max was finally working hard and I didn't want to ruin that.

Angie, you kept saying I'm so proud of you.

One time I even closed my eyes and pretended it was my mom saying it.

Then you started nibbling on my ear and it got weird.

Look, it was just easier for me to leave the house and lie than it was to admit

I'm a failure.

Honey, with everything you have already accomplished, there is no way you could

be a failure.

But I do not want Max to think it's okay to quit.

You're right.

I'll go talk to him.

Hey, Max, I wanted to talk to you about why I quit.

Don't worry about it, Dad.

Now that you're not going to college anymore, I don't have to go.

I'm so glad you messed this up.

Hey, look, I didn't mess it up.

We had a deal, Dad.

I'm not going to college.

Mac, look, the reason I quit college is because I couldn't do the work.

And that's because I couldn't do the work in high school.

And that's because I quit trying when I was your age.

But you still did, okay?

Yeah, I did.

Look, but I want you to do better.

You know why people have kids, Max?

So they can live through them. All the things that I couldn't do, you were

to do for me.

I wanted you to play for the Dodgers.

Then that one day I saw you hit the ball and run directly to third base.

I knew that dream was dead.

Then football, basketball, rock star, one by one, they all fell.

Until all that's left now, man, is for you to go to college.

But I'm not good at school.

No, come on. You blew that excuse. You got a B. How did that feel?

It felt good. Right?

So from now on, we know if you get less than a B, we'll know you're not trying.

This isn't fair.

I bet you got Ds on your report cards.

Yeah, I did.

See, but I was lucky.

I didn't have parents who cared.

You got it bad because you got all loved and cherished.

You know, we actually think that you can do something with your life.

It sucks being you.

All right, so you better crack those books.

Why are you taking my game?

Because I had a deadbeat father and an absentee mother. I can play all the

games I want.

And I'm having candy for dinner because no one cares.

Surprise inspection!

Love you.

Cherish you.

Chocolate.

Sweet all mine.