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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:07,080 I don't want to get gardening stuff with you anymore. Honey, you're 2 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:10,760 overreacting. That old white lady thought we were two laborers you picked 3 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:11,760 the street. 4 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:17,340 Yeah, she even offered me a hundred bucks to clean her gutters, but I said 5 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,440 Well, I took a $20 deposit, so you'll be there Tuesday morning. 6 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:26,740 No, not here. I need the soil by the pots. 7 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,940 No, lady, it's too hot. 8 00:00:29,820 --> 00:00:31,020 My skin is burning. 9 00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,970 You want to play video games? But Grandma's still asleep on the couch. 10 00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:40,350 I thought when Grandma moved in, she was going to get her own room. 11 00:00:40,570 --> 00:00:42,490 She's still asleep. It's after 3 o 'clock. 12 00:00:42,890 --> 00:00:46,030 Just tired of getting up. We did, but she didn't even move. 13 00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:48,590 Oh, my God. 14 00:00:49,410 --> 00:00:50,630 Maybe she's not asleep. 15 00:00:51,290 --> 00:00:52,290 Do you think? 16 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:53,970 I'll get the champagne. 17 00:00:54,410 --> 00:00:57,970 The kids. 18 00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:01,070 They can have some, too. Good for all of us. 19 00:01:11,730 --> 00:01:12,730 Mom. Okay. 20 00:01:13,410 --> 00:01:14,990 I just took CPR and PE. 21 00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:18,830 We're supposed to pull her tongue out and scoop any vomit from her airway. 22 00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:30,950 We did everything we could. 23 00:01:33,670 --> 00:01:35,270 I'm calling it. Ten after three. 24 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,580 Why don't we just let her sleep it off, okay? Let's go. 25 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:51,560 Dude. 26 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:53,760 I know how to wake her up. 27 00:01:56,540 --> 00:01:57,980 Put her hand in warm water. 28 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:02,440 What are you, 10? 29 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:08,280 Carry the couch down the block, put it by the train tracks, and let Amtrak wake 30 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:09,280 her ass up. 31 00:03:24,010 --> 00:03:25,350 Well, can I make you something to eat? 32 00:03:27,970 --> 00:03:29,790 I'm not quite ready to die. 33 00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:36,890 But I'll let you know. 34 00:03:47,590 --> 00:03:48,890 Something's wrong with your mom. 35 00:03:49,130 --> 00:03:51,070 She wasn't hungover. She just slept. 36 00:03:53,390 --> 00:03:54,390 not even hungry. 37 00:03:57,930 --> 00:03:58,930 So? 38 00:04:01,010 --> 00:04:05,210 So, I think it finally sunk in that her house burned down and she lost 39 00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:06,210 everything. 40 00:04:06,650 --> 00:04:08,230 I think she's clinically depressed. 41 00:04:10,770 --> 00:04:14,870 You know, I'd say that that sounds silly, but you're a wedding planner, so 42 00:04:14,870 --> 00:04:15,870 must know these things. 43 00:04:21,230 --> 00:04:24,690 I don't know what depression is like because I've gone through it. Get out. 44 00:04:24,730 --> 00:04:25,730 When? 45 00:04:26,630 --> 00:04:28,230 After Carmen was born. 46 00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:30,950 What are you talking about? After Carmen was born, everything was great. 47 00:04:32,510 --> 00:04:34,850 I barely said a word for two months. 48 00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:37,870 Oh, right. 49 00:04:40,010 --> 00:04:41,150 That was hard on us. 50 00:04:42,690 --> 00:04:44,090 You should check on her. 51 00:04:44,670 --> 00:04:48,190 Look, Angie, she's down because life's kicked the crap out of her. 52 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,980 She doesn't have depression. That's a rich person's disease. 53 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,740 Tiffany, your nanny, says you're depressed. 54 00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:01,620 Now, let's go out in the yard and talk about it on the Ferris wheel, shall we? 55 00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:04,620 Just talk to her. 56 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:10,840 Hey, Mom. 57 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,640 Are you clinically depressed or what? 58 00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:29,110 Ernie took it with him 59 00:05:29,110 --> 00:05:36,850 that's 60 00:05:36,850 --> 00:05:38,390 what you were like right after Carmen was born 61 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,120 you made you some lunch. 62 00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:10,580 Not hungry. 63 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,280 What are you looking at, Mom? The TV's not on. 64 00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:18,300 Are you watching that gorilla on the screen? 65 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,480 Because that's just your reflection. 66 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,600 Come on, Mom, snap out of it. I just insulted you. You got nothing? 67 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,910 You know, I ran out of shampoo this morning. There was a new bottle. 68 00:06:38,810 --> 00:06:39,950 That's one big head. 69 00:06:43,910 --> 00:06:49,530 I can't control my kids. My daughter's wearing a thong and my son might be too. 70 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:50,610 Have you seen his hair? 71 00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:54,670 My wife's a lazy princess. 72 00:06:54,950 --> 00:06:55,950 What? 73 00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:57,290 Uh -oh. 74 00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:01,530 She's going to yell at me. She looks mad and I'm going to take it because I'm 75 00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:02,530 whipped. 76 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:05,900 Can I talk to you in the kitchen? 77 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,460 What choice do I have? You run everything around here. 78 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,540 I can't do nothing. Sounds like I'm neutered in my mind. George! 79 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:20,040 Man, she's really out of it. I've never seen her like this. I went online and 80 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,500 looked up clinical depression. Come here. 81 00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:24,540 Crawl down. Your mom has all the symptoms. 82 00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:27,840 Giant limbs and scrotums? 83 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:34,840 Too far, that's elephantitis. 84 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:37,640 Let's go back up to the dean. 85 00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:39,620 And how does that guy buy underwear? 86 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:41,240 George! 87 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:45,560 This is serious. Your mom needs professional help. 88 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,460 My mom's not going to see a shrink. 89 00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:49,520 She'll snap out of this on her own. 90 00:07:49,940 --> 00:07:53,100 Until then, I think we should just enjoy the quiet and treat her like a throw 91 00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,100 pillow that cries. 92 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:03,000 Hey, Jack, come on in. Hey, George. Hey, Angie. I hope I'm not intruding, but 93 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,950 I... Well, I just wanted to see your mom. 94 00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:06,630 Oh, that's so sweet of you. 95 00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:09,270 Yeah, the rumor mill at work says she's gone crazy. 96 00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:14,730 That she's yelling at lamps and eating out of garbage cans. 97 00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:18,050 I kind of wanted to see that. 98 00:08:20,370 --> 00:08:23,250 She's just a little down, that's all. You know how rumors can get out of 99 00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:25,870 control. So where is your mom? She's in the living room. 100 00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:28,370 Mom. 101 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,160 Jack Fear. 102 00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,419 How is she? 103 00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:42,039 The same. 104 00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:47,340 Look, George, we all love your mom, but she's missed two weeks of work already. 105 00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:50,780 She's used up all of her personal days, all of her vacation days. 106 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,900 Mel and I have been very generous so far. 107 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,240 What are you saying, Jack? 108 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:59,300 I got a company to run. Somebody's got to inspect the parts, so if she's not 109 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:01,820 back in by Monday, I'm going to have to replace her. 110 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,590 What? You can't fire her without a written warning. 111 00:09:06,530 --> 00:09:07,530 That's true. 112 00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:09,450 Check the card in the flowers. 113 00:09:15,850 --> 00:09:19,770 Benny's already depressed. If she loses her job, what's going to happen to her? 114 00:09:20,090 --> 00:09:21,170 I'll tell you what's going to happen. 115 00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:22,470 She'll never leave. 116 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,670 She'll sleep on that couch until she dies. 117 00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:28,770 You know, people can't live without hope, Angie. 118 00:09:28,990 --> 00:09:31,070 You think she's that far gone? I'm talking about me. 119 00:09:34,860 --> 00:09:36,020 Got to get her back to work on Monday. 120 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,460 If she's not going to see a therapist, there's no way she's going to be in 121 00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:41,020 to go back to work in two days. 122 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,640 So we'll fix her ourselves. 123 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,280 Because that's what Lopez's do. Watch out, we heal our own. 124 00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:52,280 Remember when my aunt died, my Uncle Oscar was so depressed he wouldn't leave 125 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:53,219 the house? 126 00:09:53,220 --> 00:09:56,360 We went over there, threw him a party, cheered him right up. 127 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,300 He's a homeless alcoholic now. 128 00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:02,360 Yeah, but he's out of the house. 129 00:10:04,110 --> 00:10:05,930 We don't even know where he is. That's how good he's doing. 130 00:10:10,390 --> 00:10:11,390 Hey, Mom. 131 00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:15,010 You know, when you're going through tough times, it helps to be around loved 132 00:10:15,010 --> 00:10:16,010 ones. 133 00:10:16,210 --> 00:10:18,290 Ernie and I bumped into some of yours at the liquor store. 134 00:10:24,730 --> 00:10:25,730 Jack. 135 00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:27,210 Jim. 136 00:10:28,790 --> 00:10:29,790 Johnny. 137 00:10:30,450 --> 00:10:31,450 The captain. 138 00:10:43,260 --> 00:10:44,680 Oh, shiver me timber! 139 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,960 All right, that's enough. 140 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,160 All right, I'll be quitting then. 141 00:10:54,580 --> 00:10:56,040 Kids, are you ready yet? 142 00:10:57,420 --> 00:11:00,660 Benny, the kids put together a show for you. 143 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:07,080 Grandma, we know that you think this is a bad time, but we want to show you that 144 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,580 you can overcome any obstacle because you've done it before. 145 00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:16,370 and enjoy Benny Lopez and American Tragedy. 146 00:11:21,630 --> 00:11:23,550 Where's that stupid pirate with the booze? 147 00:11:28,330 --> 00:11:28,950 But 148 00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:35,970 you 149 00:11:35,970 --> 00:11:37,650 didn't give up. You survived. 150 00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:41,810 You got pregnant at 16 and dropped out of school. 151 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:27,570 the daughter she gave away in the time she got gonorrhea. Well, kids, you've 152 00:12:27,570 --> 00:12:30,270 done a great job. Thank you so much. Thank you, kids. 153 00:12:37,410 --> 00:12:39,050 Anybody else want to pile on? 154 00:12:40,350 --> 00:12:41,970 Mom, we're just trying to cheer you up. 155 00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:45,310 You know, maybe you and Angie should go out for that day of beauty you keep 156 00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:46,169 talking about. 157 00:12:46,170 --> 00:12:47,190 We just got back. 158 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,360 You don't have to tell me. Look at you. You're glowing. 159 00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:02,400 Mom, Jack came by and said if you don't go to work on Monday, you're going to 160 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:03,400 lose your job. 161 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:10,140 I already lost my house, my car, my life savings, my dog. 162 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,900 You think I care if I lose my job? 163 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,060 What is she talking about? She doesn't have a dog. 164 00:13:22,190 --> 00:13:23,610 She's probably talking about McCloud. 165 00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:25,870 Who's McCloud? 166 00:13:26,150 --> 00:13:29,950 Oh, he's a stray your mom took in. My dad saw her feeding the table scraps. 167 00:13:30,930 --> 00:13:33,830 That dog's probably the closest thing she ever came to loving something. 168 00:13:36,310 --> 00:13:37,310 I'm sorry, dude. 169 00:13:41,050 --> 00:13:43,030 I hope he didn't die in the fire. 170 00:13:43,350 --> 00:13:46,610 No, I saw him in the alley just the other day. He probably ran away when her 171 00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:47,610 house burned down. 172 00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:54,340 cared about survived the fire. That may be just the thing she needs to pull her 173 00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:55,340 out of her depression. 174 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,399 That's it. 175 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,480 I gotta find McCloud. 176 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:00,840 And you know what? 177 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,340 Statistically, people who have pets live longer. 178 00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:11,720 I think I still have to find the dog. 179 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:18,960 Cloud? 180 00:14:22,849 --> 00:14:24,410 Cloud? I know, I saw him around here. 181 00:14:25,570 --> 00:14:26,650 I've been looking for hours. 182 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:27,950 Oh, hey, there he is. 183 00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:29,350 That's McCloud. 184 00:14:29,990 --> 00:14:30,990 Okay. 185 00:14:31,090 --> 00:14:33,870 I'll distract him with the bologna while you get him on the leash. 186 00:14:34,630 --> 00:14:36,170 Why didn't you tell me that was the plan? 187 00:14:36,970 --> 00:14:38,550 I'm telling you now, give me the bologna. No! 188 00:14:42,430 --> 00:14:43,430 Ernie, where's the bologna? 189 00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:45,710 Inside me. 190 00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:49,850 How the hell did you eat it? What did you think the bologna was for? 191 00:14:50,110 --> 00:14:51,110 For coming with you! 192 00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:54,849 All right. 193 00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:56,090 Just keep an eye out for me. 194 00:14:57,170 --> 00:14:58,170 I'll get the leash on him. 195 00:14:59,010 --> 00:15:00,330 McCloud. Hey, boy. 196 00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:02,250 Let's just get him and go. 197 00:15:23,630 --> 00:15:24,630 Don't panic. 198 00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:29,410 What the hell are you doing with my dog? 199 00:15:30,110 --> 00:15:31,350 Okay. You. 200 00:15:33,330 --> 00:15:35,210 What the hell is going on here? 201 00:15:36,850 --> 00:15:39,050 I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the new mayor. 202 00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:45,130 I've decided to meet my constituents because I believe together we can make 203 00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:46,170 a better Los Angeles. 204 00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:51,630 Come on, Felipe. We have a follow -up in Koreatown. Who are you? 205 00:15:53,260 --> 00:15:54,260 George Lopez. 206 00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:56,060 My mom's the one whose house burned down. 207 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,620 So you're the loser's son she's always complaining about. 208 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:02,560 She talks about me. 209 00:16:04,860 --> 00:16:05,860 Look, here's the thing. 210 00:16:06,180 --> 00:16:07,200 This was her dog. 211 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,440 She's really depressed, and if I take it back to her, it'll cheer her up. 212 00:16:11,540 --> 00:16:15,460 I get it. My mom was real depressed when she stabbed my dad, and he just 213 00:16:15,460 --> 00:16:16,460 wouldn't die. 214 00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:21,460 Yeah, thanks, man. I'm glad you get this. 215 00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:24,230 So it'll be $500 for the dog. 216 00:16:25,530 --> 00:16:26,590 Well, I'll give you $100. 217 00:16:26,930 --> 00:16:28,390 Hey, this is about your mom's happiness. 218 00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:30,870 Think about how much that's worth to you. $40. 219 00:16:31,610 --> 00:16:34,970 How about $200 and I'll let you walk out of the yard with your teeth? 220 00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:36,930 Oh, it's like that. 221 00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:39,730 Deal. 222 00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:49,790 Did you find your dog? 223 00:16:50,030 --> 00:16:51,030 Yep. 224 00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:52,580 I've got him tied up in the living room right now. 225 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,200 Hey, Mom. 226 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,880 Got a furry little friend in there that's going to cheer you up. 227 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,840 How is the Greek guy from the gas station going to cheer me up? 228 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,740 Oh, we found McCloud. 229 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,880 Don't mess with me. I'm not in the mood. I'm serious. 230 00:17:11,260 --> 00:17:12,800 We found him at a biker's house down the street. 231 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:15,640 McCloud's alive? 232 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:16,980 And he's in the living room right now. 233 00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:21,389 dog inside? 234 00:17:21,390 --> 00:17:24,550 Yeah, we tied him to the banister. What's the matter? Isn't he out trained? 235 00:17:24,790 --> 00:17:27,950 He gets a little squirrely when he's cooped up. 236 00:17:42,370 --> 00:17:43,370 Banister looks okay. 237 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:55,640 the dog is. 238 00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:28,010 employees hearing about how I got chased out of my house by a dog. 239 00:19:29,230 --> 00:19:32,010 You know, since you've been gone, I've been getting some respect around there. 240 00:19:32,850 --> 00:19:34,090 Well, that ends tomorrow. 241 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:38,390 Because I'm going to go back to work and I'm going to tell everybody how my 242 00:19:38,390 --> 00:19:39,390 little girl 243 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,740 We can make this a better Los Angeles. 244 00:20:11,740 --> 00:20:13,080 Wow, you really do that. 245 00:20:16,580 --> 00:20:20,000 No, but I heard you were impersonating me and knock it off or we won't pick up 246 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,000 your trash again. 247 00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:27,220 Hey, Mayor, before you go, let me ask you. 248 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,640 How tough would it be to declare like George Lopez? I don't need much like a 249 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:32,900 statue in the park like that. Hello. 250 00:20:35,380 --> 00:20:38,100 I've got a better idea. Why don't we concentrate on fixing our school? 251 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,380 and making our streets safer for all of us. 252 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,180 I can never do nothing in my house. 18418