Original subtitles

I'm starting to think this wasn't such a good idea.

Oh, come on. It's going to help me get elected for student council.

All the girls that vote for me and some of the guys.

Carmen Lopez, absolutely the best for treasure.

Hey, Dad, guess what? I'm running for student council at St. Teresa's. Good

luck, Bray Proud. Game's on.

Ooh, Grandma's got just the spot for this.

Take it out, Dad. I built a model earth that floats.

Good luck, Bray Proud. Game's on.

Unlike bigger wedding planners, I don't take on several clients at once.

So, if you choose me, you get my undivided attention.

Oh, Angie, I didn't know you were in here. Shh.

What are you doing? I'm trying to work.

Well, we were listening to the Lakers on the radio in the car. It's the last

minute and they're tied with Houston.

They came back and tied it up?

I gotta see this.

George! It's just for a minute, baby. I'll put it on mute, okay? You wouldn't

even know that we're here.

I can take care of everything from the engagement party to the actual wedding

ceremony. In fact, I can help you plan your trip for your honeymoon.

Traveling!

It's important to do before you have kids.

Now, for your wedding, the first two things to decide on are the date and

location.

Could you keep that out of here? I'm trying to work.

I'm never going to let you put that up. You don't know what you're talking

about. Mom, do you think a nun's going to find this offensive?

I'm trying to work here. I'll take one of those with Carmen cut out of it.

It's getting late. We've got a couple of other wedding planners to meet. Who are

you seeing?

Vows by Veronica?

Because she buys her shirt from the back of a van.

A honeymoon in Hawaii is no fun with the trots.

Working out of the house is a disaster.

I can't sell myself as a professional when you and the kids keep interrupting

me. What about the office I made for you in the garage?

Well, let's take a look at that right now.

Okay.

George! Oh, right now, right now? Yeah.

Okay, baby, I'm right with you, because if it's something that's important to

you, it's important to me.

And that's what a marriage is, a commitment between two people who are

Okay, commercial.

This place is a mess.

I can't bring clients in here.

You promised me you were going to turn this into the office of my dreams.

I'm going to.

I just got to finish my architectural schematic rendering.

Insult me. You don't have any plans.

Yeah, I do.

I almost finished them last night.

Yeah, well, what stopped you?

Someone got all handsy.

That's right. I said to slow your roll.

Okay, that's it. I am tired of your excuses.

I should just rent an office down at the strip mall. No, then you have to sign a

year lease. Angie, that's a huge commitment.

Look, I know you love what you're doing, but you're not making enough money to

cover that.

George, this isn't a hobby. This is my career.

Honey, no offense.

And don't get mad when I say this, but there's a difference.

Hobby, work, work, work. Fun, career, work, work, work.

Paycheck.

I love you so much.

That's it. I'm renting the office space. You have to spend money to make money.

And like it or not, this is my business.

Okay, look.

I've been busy at work, okay? I'm sorry.

But I promise you, I give you my word that I will fix up this garage and it'll

be nicer than any office you can rent.

You mean it?

Because I've got a booth at the bridal expo, and I cannot bring clients in here

if this place isn't done.

Angie.

You got this!

Well, you've only got ten days, so you might want to get a contractor. Get a

contractor. Da loca, get a contractor.

We don't need a contractor. A contractor's just a person who yells at

Mexican who does the real work.

We already got that.

Hey, Dad.

move your truck over far enough so I can park in here tonight? No.

Look, Carmen, no one's parking their car in here anymore. This is your mother's

office. Thank you.

But I can't leave Bluebell outside.

Bluebell?

You named your car?

Yeah, she's like my baby. Once you name something, Dad, you can't put it out on

the street.

You're in for a big surprise when you turn 18.

George, I'm home!

Hey, how was the bridal show? Oh, great.

I handed out a ton of cards, and I'm setting up meetings for Monday.

You're going to be finished, right?

Yeah, Angie, that's four days.

And we're almost finished now. Oh, can I see? Oh, baby, no. Not till it's

perfect. Oh, okay.

Come on, I'll go with you in the house. I need to get a bucket of water. Ernie's

really thirsty. Move, move, move, move.

All my friends know the lowrider.

The lowrider is a little higher.

day, bro.

I stayed up late watching home improvement shows. Yeah, I think we

this place up with some sconces and some Roman shades.

Look, take it easy, queer eye.

We're in way over our heads, man. There's no way we're going to get this

three days, not with all the plumbing and electrical stuff.

You know, cat's just another way of saying wall.

You want to get shucked to your pee again?

No.

I don't want to spend the money.

Look, I called Victor and Bobby from the old neighborhood. They're on their way

over. I don't know about those dudes, George.

They cut a lot of corners.

That's why I want them.

They're quick and they're cheap.

Yeah.

But remember when they hooked up the septic tank at the Martinez place?

They got the lines all crossed up. The first time the mom used a dishwasher,

whole family got hepatitis.

This is barely breaking even.

I'm not going to put thousands of dollars into something that might not

Remember her candle business?

Sense of Cuba?

Turns out nobody wants to smell like poverty and cigars.

Sup? Sup?

Sup? Sup?

Remember Ernie?

Sup? Sup?

Sup? Sup?

So, uh, I hear you need an office for your old lady. Yeah, man, it's gotta be

really nice, too, Victor. It's gotta have hardwood floors.

Recess sliding, crown molding, everything. I throw the whole nine

How is Angie? Is she still fine?

Oh, she's super fine.

Still live with your mom and dad, Ernie?

Hey, I pay rent, all right? So it's more like we're roommates.

Did your roommates lay out those nice overalls for you this morning?

No way.

She's not even allowed in my room. There's a sign and everything. She knows

that, fool.

You know what?

Whatever, eh? You know what? I don't need this crap.

Mr. Bobby, Mr. And why don't you marry him? What's that say?

Look, it's got to be done by Monday. That's three days, huh?

Can you do it?

Depends.

What about permits?

I'm permitting you.

Monday it is? All right, look, and Angie can't know you're here, okay? So you

got to be out here by six every night before she gets home from the bridal

Hold on. Hold the horse, huh?

There's a lot of work here for three days.

We don't have a deal until we talk about an equitable compensation package.

Mm -hmm.

Now, let's see. We got rough electric, plumbing, carpentry, materials.

You want us to use nails on this, George?

Yeah! Hey, relax.

We'll get a box.

We won't use them all.

Ten cases of beer should do it.

You want to be paid in beer?

Yeah, that's where the money's going to go anyway.

What's all this? It's finished, baby. Time to see your new office.

Oh, my God.

My office is done?

I told you I'd make the deadline.

Allow me to take you to the world premiere of Angie's Office Part 2.

In a world of doubt, one man against all odds came through for his wife.

Starring Selma Hayek as Angie Lopez.

And introducing the suave George Lopez as himself.

Thank you, thank you. We're very excited about our new project.

Is that a skeleton walking a horse?

Oh, no, that's Joan and Melissa Rivers.

Yeah, me too.

I went all out for you, Angie. Look, recessed lighting, hardwood floors, and

look what I built for you here.

It's a... recycling cabinet.

Honey, this means so much to me, and the fact that you did it with your own two

hands makes it that much more special.

It was really tough, Angie.

I mean, I wanted to quit, but I kept saying to myself, this is for Angie.

Keep going.

Keep going.

I got a nod right there. Maybe I can work that out for you.

Did you build that deck?

Uh, sure.

Did you build it dirty?

You know what this is, Angie?

A stud finder.

Hey, maybe it's your first client. No, it's a city inspector.

What? When I called for my business license, they said I needed a final

inspection. Oh, where'd you put all the permits?

What?

Quiet. Pretend we're not here.

I'll explain to you later. Remember, I did this for you.

It's a little dark in here.

Give me a short.

My dad did the wiring.

Make sure you're on the carpet before you hit that light switch.

We're over here.

George.

You know what?

We've been robbed, Andy. Somebody took our permits.

They're obviously beer drinkers.

not get permit?

Because I wouldn't have finished in time.

Look, you don't need a permit anyways and just a stupid piece of paper from

government.

If we didn't have a marriage certificate, you'd still love me, right?

I don't know. I'd like to see what the inspector says first.

Mr. Lopez, did you do all the work yourself in there? Yes, sir.

Well, it looks great. It has a very nice layout and plenty of storage space.

Thank you.

Built it as a gesture for my wife to show her how much I love and believe in

business. Well, then it's going to be very hard on you when she's crushed,

burned, or electrocuted.

Mr. Lopez, I've been an inspector for 20 years, and that is the worst death trap

I have ever walked into.

Are you serious?

Come on, man. It can't be that bad.

I left my good pen in there, and I'm afraid to go in there and get it.

The wiring is illegal, the plumbing is a joke, and there are no support beams.

Let's just say this. If two birds were to land on that roof at the same time

had a little affair, just a little one, and you were inside,

you would need specially trained dogs to find you.

You are red -tacked.

What does that mean? It means that you cannot step foot in there until it has

brought up the code and you file for permits with the city.

That's what it means, young lady.

Have a nice day.

You promised me you would have this done.

You know what your problem is? You have two... Too much pride to admit when you

don't know how to do something.

But that's not true.

I knew I was in over my head. I even hired some guys to make sure I'd finish

time.

What guys?

Professionals.

Well, then by law, they have to fix this.

What was the name of the company?

Uh, B &B Business Partners.

A local firm. I like to keep it mom and pop.

B &B.

Recycling cabinet.

Don't tell me you hired Victor and Bobby.

Those two drunken idiots from the old neighborhood?

You know what hurts, Angie?

Is that they only have nice things to say about you.

How much did you pay them? You know, it was a good deal. You really can't put it

into dollars and cents. Why not?

Because I paid them with ten cases of beer.

You think my business is such a joke it's only worth a few cases of beer?

Well, I didn't want to overpay them. They obviously don't know what they're

doing.

This is a little low for you.

Look, what am I supposed to say, Angie?

That you've been at this for six months and only booked a handful of weddings?

God, you shouldn't think we should spend a lot of money before you knew you were

going to be successful. There, I said it, huh? It's in the air. I'm purged. I

feel free.

So, you never thought my wedding business was going to take off?

Well, you never know, Angie. What about the Cuban candle business, huh?

I'm still paying storage on 50Ks of black bean and rice candles.

Oh, I get it now. It's not my businesses you don't have faith in. It's me.

Look, I didn't say that. When I married you, you didn't even have a job. But I

had faith in you.

I always knew you were going to make something of yourself.

I just wish you felt the same way about me.

Angie.

George.

She's got a point.

you it was like a leap of faith.

Well, not so much like a leap of faith, more like putting on a blindfold and

trying to jump the Grand Canyon on a tricycle.

You see how that would be tough to do, right?

And you got surprised.

I've had enough of your surprises. Last time, the red carpet led to a condemned

building.

Look, trust me this time.

Angie's office, part three.

In a world where men screw up, one woman finds the strength to forgive.

What are you doing? Check this out.

Fancy reception area, big conference room.

What is it?

It's a virtual tour of the new office that I rented you.

You rented me an office?

Yep. See, that's you.

Why am I sunbathing on my new desk?

Oh, it's the only picture I had of you scanned in the computer.

But, you know, since it's your office, feel free to wear whatever you want. You

know, tube tops, tambien, accessorize.

Daisy Dukes.

Now, since your business is going to grow, you're going to need an assistant.

a magic history book.

I was going to use Clinton, but since you're in a bikini, I said, okay, no

All you have to do is sign the lease.

George, this is a two -year lease.

Look, Angie, you had faith in me when I was going nowhere.

I owe you that.

But I was going to get a one -year lease down at the strip mall.

No. They're running the last place to an erotic bakery.

By the way, I think I know what kind of cake I want for my next birthday.

Honey, this office looks really expensive.

Look, Angie, you're going to be great.

I have faith in you.

Thank you.

It means so much that you believe in me.

Well, you deserve it. I mean, you stood by me for 15 years until I made

something of myself.

But with two kids, two mortgages, and college tuition coming soon, you don't

have that kind of time.

You got three months until the bills start piling up, so good luck.

Vamanos. I said good luck.

Hey, Tom.

Hey, Dad.

What's the matter?

I lost my student council election.

Well, not everybody can be student council president.

I ran for treasurer.

You lost treasurer?

But it still hurts just as much.

I don't know what I could have done differently.

The guy I lost, he's so charismatic and so charming.

Hello?

Dad, this is the guy that beat me.

You beat Carmen?

Yes.

This is the charismatic, charming guy?

Yes.

Okay, now I see it.

Well, you did your best, Carmen. I mean, it's his world. We're just living in

it.

I'm sorry, Carmen.

I made you some chocolate fudges or something.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Turn it down a notch, player. She's already got a man.

Okay.

Thanks.

So, um, I'll see you tomorrow at school?

Yeah.