Original subtitles

Hey, what's that?

You won't believe it.

There was this box in the garage that I've been throwing trash into for years.

Turns out it's full of stuff from when you were a kid.

Oh, my God. Mom, my first baseball glove. What's that? Hey, batter. What's

My pocket knife.

Hey, wait a minute.

That's my pocket knife.

I lost it in your backyard.

That loco, I lost it in the backyard.

My mom gave this to me for my eighth birthday.

No, but look. I scratched E -C on it right there for Ernie Cardenas.

You told me that was Eric Clapton's pocket knife.

Eric Clapton will also take back his retainer.

Mom, I told you it didn't fit.

And I told you to make it fit.

There's a lot of memories in here.

Oh, my God, Mom, my Chico and the Man lunchbox.

I thought this was gone forever. Watch it when you open. Looking good.

You know, George, some people say that memories are priceless.

I disagree.

I'll give you the whole box for $1 ,200.

George, look, I lost some money at the track.

I can't pay my bills.

In a couple of days, I'm going to be sitting in the dark, no heat, no food,

hot water.

Well, then you can gamble on other things, like how long can I live on a

of ketchup?

George!

No, Mom, that's your own fault.

I'm not going to pay you for my childhood memories.

All right.

I'll just throw this stuff out.

Fine. I don't care.

Really?

Because you used to love me.

Mr. Bear Bear?

She already took one eye for her dress.

You know better than to come to me. No handouts.

You know what you can do?

You can kiss me at two corner.

Hey, Mr. Bear Bear Cochino.

What's that?

This is all the stuff from my childhood.

I thought your grandma threw it out.

Where do you keep our childhood stuff?

Your mom had the storage unit downtown.

Because apparently...

was too cheap to take pictures, so I had to draw my memory.

I'll never forget this day.

The day the sick man choked your balloon?

It's not a balloon, that's my head.

And the sick man is my baseball coach, Mr. Trevino.

He's hugging me after hitting the game -winning home run.

Sweet.

Oh, cool.

Is this your mouthpiece from when he played football?

No, that's your mom's bite guard.

Started grinding her teeth right around the time we moved in with Grandma Benny.

You and Mom lived with Grandma?

Well, when we first got married, we couldn't afford our own place.

You got married, but you still had to live with your mom?

That's ghetto.

At least in the ghetto, the dogs are outside on a chain.

Mine was inside, tucking me in at night.

You have to smoke right next to me. I'm pregnant with your grandchild.

Why should I change my life just because you couldn't keep them crossed?

Did you hear what she said to me?

Come on, Angie, can't you sit someplace else? I mean, my mom's trying to relax.

What took you so long?

Oh, after work, I went over to Ernie's mom. We wrote a new song called G .E .D.

It's like the other one. We got DUI, except it's more of a ballad. Very slow.

I'm like that with a tear coming down. No.

It's got a positive message, too, for the kids, because at the end, we

instead of roll the card like the other one.

Honey, have you thought about maybe looking for another job after work?

Maybe something with benefits?

Come on, baby, don't do this.

I need you to believe in the band.

Those badasses is our future.

Okay, I'm going to go eat in the kitchen where I can protect our child from

secondhand Benny.

Too bad babies don't come out of mouths because yours is already dilated 10

centimeters.

Aren't you going to say something?

Eating.

to help me out. Where else am I going to get a thousand bucks?

You always do this to me. I can't help you this time. It's too much money.

You better figure out a way, or I'm going to tell George our little secret,

I'm not bluffing this time.

Betty, you swore you wouldn't.

I wonder how mad George is going to be when he finds out that you lied to him

for 16 years.

Let's see.

Oh, George!

Okay, okay.

I'll get you the money somehow.

Just don't say anything.

What? Don't bother me.

I'm going through my box.

organizing a field trip to Rome to see the Vatican.

But before you say anything, it's only $900. Airfare, hotel, everything.

Well, if you're going, you're going to need new clothes.

And some spending money.

And since we're pretending, I bought an Italian sports car made

out of chocolate.

Really?

What are you doing?

Show her the checkbook. We don't waste money on ourselves.

Look at this, Carmen. $78 for the gas bill.

$200 for school books. $1 ,000 for your mom.

Angie, this is about that new bigger chest we wanted for the bedroom. You

the saline one.

$1 ,000 isn't enough.

I don't want the knobs all crooked and the drawers torn into two pieces.

It's not for that.

Then you're being selfish and you're wasting money.

It's for our vow renewal.

But if you don't love me enough to celebrate our love publicly, I'll

I'm sorry, baby.

I didn't know. I'm sorry.

Mom, it's the bank.

Grandma's trying to cash that chick he wrote her for $1 ,000.

But she's on their walk list.

$1 ,000?

And you gave my mom the money even after I said no, didn't you?

If you don't love me enough to overlook what seems to be an inconsistency in my

story, then I can't talk to you right now.

grandma yelling.

Oh, I think she just bit a guy.

Look, I'll take care of it. Hi,

this is George Lopez.

Do not cash that check.

That old lady used to be our babysitter.

But we got some nanny cam footage of her.

That woman's a monster.

You haven't told me one good reason why you'd give my mom $1 ,000.

Did she threaten to put a curse on you?

Why isn't it enough that I felt sorry for her, huh? She needed help, George.

Is Grandma in trouble?

Your Grandma's always in trouble.

And she knows she can take advantage of your mom.

Because your mom never stood up to her like I did a long time ago. I was like,

Dad, I can't hear you. What?

What's going on?

Oh, the cow knocked over the ashtray.

It's nothing.

It's my fault. I'm sorry.

Did she make you cry?

No, she is not crying.

Her eyes are watering because she's allergic to hard work.

You missed the spot.

You know what?

I'm sick of you treating Angie this way. We're out of here.

From now on, I won't do anything for you and you don't do anything for me.

I'm going to make it on my own by myself and provide for Angie.

Because I'm a man.

And I don't need anything from you anymore.

Come on.

That day was the turning point of my life.

After that, I told my first song. We used the money to get our own place. And

everything was perfect.

Until the next day.

happened? You were born.

George!

We need to talk!

Kid, go upstairs.

Grandma just bought $1 ,000.

We should get in the tub. There could be shooting.

Okay, Connie.

If you're gonna hear this, I want you to hear it from me.

What are you talking about?

There's... A reason I lent your mom the money.

I am really sorry about this, but you should know what happened right before

told your mother off.

Okay.

Short! Short!

Short!

Run across the street and give me some smokes.

Mom, I'm practicing. What's up?

And this is where the tear comes out. Watch out.

You know, I never get tired of hearing that chord.

I'm going.

And don't stop to look at the dirty magazines.

Mom, not in front of my wife.

I can't do nothing.

I hate the way you talk to him.

He is going to be a father, and you still treat him like he's a child.

We've got to get out of here.

Oh, yeah? Where are you going to go?

You don't have two cents to your name.

Well, I could swallow my pride and call my dad in Miami.

We could stay with him and he can get us jobs at the hospital.

George isn't going to Miami.

He's not going to leave this house.

I say he is.

I'm his wife and the mother of his child.

Let's see who he listens to when he gets back.

Okay.

Okay, princess.

Don't get your big girl panties in a bunch.

You know, there is another option.

I could give you some money so you could get a place in L .A.

You're going to give us money? Yeah, right.

Hey, I don't want you here when that baby comes.

If anybody is going to crawl around this house with a bottle, it's going to be

me.

How much is this?

Five grand.

Benny, uh, thank you.

I don't know what to say.

Just keep your mouth shut.

Don't tell anybody what's in this book, or I will kill you with what's in that

book.

If George Kent knew about this, he'd be mad at me for taking money behind his

back. Make something up.

I mean, you told him you could handle the birth control, and he believed that.

But... I want him to walk out of here like a man, not because his wife found

money and told him to go.

So I'll make him mad enough to want to leave. I'll kick it up a notch.

I mean, you've been holding back?

Clean it up, stupid!

So the moment I thought I became a man was all fake?

It was you and my mom playing me.

I was trying to help, George.

What else was playing behind my back, huh?

Did you and my mom arrange my promotion to manager?

That took 15 years, baby. That was all you.

Look,

sorry doesn't cut it when you go behind my back and take money from my mom.

Wait a second.

If she gave you the five grand, that means you never met

Tommy Lee at the dry cleaners.

And you never saw my power ballad, The Motley Crue.

And never made the charts in Germany, did it?

It doesn't matter anymore.

You became a wonderful father and husband.

Plus... You're pretty damn good in the sack, and I'm not just saying that.

More lies!

Angie, I've been lied to so much in my life, I don't even know what's true

anymore.

Is this a box full of memories or lies?

Was I really the champion spaghetti eater in the third grade?

Did I earn the golden noodle?

Did my Little League coach really leave me $10 ,000 on his deathbed?

Someone left you $10 ,000?

No, I've never seen this card before.

Georgie, I hope this $10 ,000 makes a difference in your life.

I put the check in your mom's name because you're only 12, but it's your

Angie, he never called!

But we weren't home anyways.

That was the week my mom took me to Vegas in her new car.

Oh, no!

What did she tell you?

I told the truth.

Okay.

Well, now that you know that I gave you money, you can start paying it back.

One thousand dollars.

And you know what? In the memo you can write for being the bestest mommy.

You know, that really doesn't cover what you mean to me.

How about if I write to the most evil woman in the world who stole money from

her own son?

Cash would be better.

I found the card from Coach Trevino.

Member?

Mom, you stole $10 ,000 from me. No, I didn't.

I gave Angie $10 ,000.

You gave me $5 ,000.

Your lying is becoming a sickness.

Mom,

that money was for my future.

I could have gotten a tutor for my dyslexia. I could have gone to college.

But you didn't.

Because you said we didn't have the money. Where did the money go?

George, I put food on your plate, a roof over your head.

Well, what about the money you earned from working two jobs?

Well, I was saving it for your college. I didn't go to college!

Well, then why was I working two jobs? Look!

You know, we're just talking in circles here. The money is gone.

You know, Mom, you didn't just take money from me.

You took the moment I thought I became a man.

That's it.

I put my foot down for the last time!

I want you out of here.

I should have let you go to Florida.

Yeah, why didn't you? Then you could have kept all the money and gotten me

of your life forever.

Maybe that's not what I wanted.

Then what did you want? Forget it.

What, you didn't want me to leave?

Your lips aren't moving, so I know you're not lying.

You would have missed me.

Why can't you just say that?

You know, I don't have time for this.

I gotta go make a thousand bucks.

I'm gonna go flip off a cop.

And I'm gonna take him on a high -speed chase.

And hope that when he catches me, he beats me into the big bucks.

I'll write you the check.

If you say you didn't want me to leave.

I'd rather take the beating.

Remember this crap tomorrow.

I'll write you the check, then I'll hit you with a shovel.

All right, write the check.

No, you say it first and then I'll write the check.

We do it at the same time.

If you would have moved to Florida,

I would have...

Miss you.

Thank you.

You just bought a kind word from your mom for a thousand dollars.

Shut up.

There's an extra hundred in it if you take me to the zoo and buy me a balloon.

Wow.

from you but she finally admitted she needs you around how did that make you

feel you're not off the hook damn i can't do