Original subtitles

Matt, it's time for breakfast.

What happened in here?

What did you do to your pillow?

It kept me from sleeping.

So I punched it.

And then I hit it with my bat.

And I ripped it apart with my teeth.

Well, okay. That's perfectly normal, son.

And do you want to get in here and bring a crucifix?

you do this?

I can't sleep.

I haven't been able to for a week.

Well, why didn't you tell us?

Well, I already have dyslexia and dyscalculia.

The last thing I need to find out is that I have dyslepia.

It's called insomnia.

I knew there'd be a word for it.

There's a word for everything that's wrong with me.

Honey, there's nothing wrong with you.

I'm in special ed.

I studied three times harder than anyone else, and I still might flunk the fifth

grade. Oh, yeah, I'm a winner.

Look, you're under a lot of pressure.

What do you say we take the day off from school and I bring your breakfast up

here, hmm?

Thanks.

Good. Okay, now you rest, okay? Before you know it, you'll fall asleep, and

everything will be all right.

An 11 -year -old should not be awake all night.

Be gone!

And staying awake all night's not going to happen past the fifth grade.

Hey, Daddy.

Hi, Angie, my angel.

Hello, Benita, my little devil.

Hello, George, my... Yeah, there you are.

Hey, Vic, you know they sell bacon in the stores, and, uh... Wow, you can even

cook it at your own house.

George, maybe he needs a psychologist.

He's not crazy, Angie. He's just old and lonely and too cheap to buy his own

breakfast.

I'm talking about Max.

What's wrong with Max?

Oh, Daddy, he's so stressed out about school. He ripped up his pillow last

night. Does your hospital have any good child psychologists?

Psychologists? Look, no way.

Look, Angie, we're the Lopez's, and we don't go for help until right before

too late.

I'm not going to a psychologist until the dog tells him to.

Amen to that.

Max is just going through a phase.

I used to hear George through his door beating up his pillow and yelling, I

you, Mom!

Who knows what that means, huh, kids?

Daddy, you're a doctor. Help me out here.

Therapist for the week.

Castro stole my island and a wet designer stole my wife.

Do you see me crying like a baby to someone who thinks that smoking a cigar

sign of latent homosexuality?

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Well, unless it's a Dominican or a Honduran. Those are specifically grown

homosexuals.

Finally, the voice of reason.

Okay, if you don't like therapy, there are other ways to deal with stress.

Maybe if Max could do something creative, it could take his mind off his

problems and help him sleep.

Like, what about an art class?

What? How is art going to help him get rid of his frustrations?

Oh, I am so angry.

I will paint a lively French cafe scene.

Okay, look.

I'm going to take his breakfast up. We can figure this out later.

I'll tell you how I get rid of my stress.

I burn it off at the gym.

And then I get a spray tan.

Doesn't hurt my skin, and I look fantastic.

So you're orange downstairs, too?

Ma!

Oye, Chico.

I got it.

Boxing.

Boxing? When I was a boy in Cuba, I suffered from the anxiety, so my father

taught me how to box.

I forgot about my problems, and I got stronger.

I could face any opponent on the island without fear.

Yeah, then Castro showed up, you hid your watch in your butt, and you paddled

Miami.

Yes, but I was so tough from boxing, no man dare take that watch from me.

Oh, Vic, your shoe's untied. Look at that. I'm late for work.

Look, Vic, boxing is a good way to blow off steam, but Angie would never go for

it. She'd be too worried that Max is going to get hurt.

How can he get hurt, George? He's half Mexican and half Cuban.

Orale, he was born to fight.

And live at home until he's 40.

Listen, Angie doesn't have to know about this until we see if Max likes boxing

or not. In the meantime, we'll say he's taking art classes.

No. Look, I promised Angie I wasn't going to go behind her back anymore,

can't lie to her.

What? What if I lie and you not vigorously?

I can do that.

Okay, now I'm really worried. Max wants to know if we have any pillowcases that

take better.

Angie, I've made a decision.

Tell her, Vic. Max is taking art classes.

Really?

For once, you're admitting I had a good idea?

I've made it, George.

some combinations.

How's our boy doing? Having a great time, Mom, and he's sleeping like a

Oh, wow, look at him go.

Two weeks in the gym and my grandson is already a killer.

Well, I guess toughness skips a generation, huh, princess?

That could have been a good boxer. He just never encouraged me or fed me.

That's not true.

Who gets strong on powdered milk?

good, kid.

Might want to keep your chin down.

Sorry, I don't take boxing advice from girls.

Well, listen, if you're going to train in my gym, you're going to have to

to me.

Mac, this is Layla Ali.

This is Muhammad Ali's daughter.

She's the greatest female fighter of all times, man. And she's so pretty.

Yeah? Well, can you do this?

Let me try.

No, he believes you.

Is it over?

You know, you're a cocky little kid.

We ought to see what you can do in the ring.

Well, you know, he's only been hitting the bag for a couple weeks, and his mom

really doesn't even know that he's doing this.

That's okay. They'll have on headgear.

They'll just spar a little.

Let's give it a try. All right.

I'm Dr.

Victor O 'Palmero.

Wettel World Champion of Señora de la Madrid School for Boys 1956, 57, and 59.

Cardiologist, pugilist, abuelo.

I'm married.

Congratulations. Perhaps you should wear a ring.

Hey, Joey, give Maxie a round.

This kid's got some anger.

Oh, thanks.

Wasn't easy getting him there.

Took years of failure and rejection, but he finally feels like a nobody.

He's pretty quick, you know.

We have an open tournament coming up in a couple weeks. You might want to sign

him up.

Whoa!

Way to go, dude! That's my boy!

I'm so proud of you, Max.

You're a real fighter, man.

Did you see me? I put him down on the mat.

Maybe we should put a cup on him before he takes his shoes off.

It's not here. Come on.

Okay, let's see.

Oh, man, it's getting worse.

A black eye is something to be proud of.

Max, my friend, you're on your way to becoming a man.

First a black eye, then facial hair, then making love to a woman you later

out your father paid for with a pig.

Vic! A pig was spent, if you ask me.

Well, there's no hiding Max's boxing now.

You're going to have to face your wife.

No way. When she sees that black guy, she's not going to let him box again.

Well, let's tell her it happened in our class.

No. Okay, we're not lying anymore.

That's all we got in this mess.

Look, I'm just thinking about coming clean and telling her the truth.

I changed my mind. Hide.

Now, you go put those back in her room, and you think about what you've done.

But on the way, don't trip on the end table in the hallway and get a black

Oh, okay, now that I told him, it's probably going to happen.

That's crazy. Hey, hey, come back here. Take those off before you break them.

Oh, my God, what happened to your eye?

I hit my head on the end table in the hall.

What did I just say?

George, what is going on?

I smacked him. I know I'm not supposed to, but he really mouthed off bad this

time.

Benny, I don't think there's anything he could say that would make you do that.

He said you were spoiled, a lousy cook, and a failure as a wife.

It's true, and I'm glad I said it.

Oh, stop it.

Your mother is too smart to believe that.

The truth is, I hit him.

Castro was stronger than Superman, and I lost my cool.

George, your turn.

I must stick with falling in the hall.

My son has a black eye, and I want to know how he got it right now.

He's been boxing.

You put my little boy in the ring so other boys could hit him?

Look, Angie, it wasn't my idea.

Look, I'm not going to rat anybody out, but there's somebody in this kitchen

that said, Oye, chico, I got it.

Boxing.

Oye, chico, Benny, he ratted you out.

Matt, go upstairs and ice your eye in your room. I need to talk to your idiot.

And you're a grand idiot.

Look, Angie, relax.

Okay, the kids wear headgear and they fight short rounds. They get in there,

ding, it's over.

I mean, it's safe.

In all my 30 years of practicing medicine, I have never once treated a

serious injury due to boxing.

You're a cardiologist.

One good thing about being divorced is that I can do this.

Should we start?

That you and Max lied to me?

Or that you got him doing something dangerous you knew I would never approve

Okay, look.

Angie, Max has been boxing for the last two weeks. All right? And he's been able

to focus better in school and he's sleeping better.

Isn't that what we wanted, right?

But at what price?

I don't want some kid punching my son in the face so he could sleep.

It was an accident.

He hit himself taking off his gloves.

I bet you didn't even give Art a chance.

At least with Art, he'd be doing something meaningful.

Meaningful? Hey, did Michelangelo invent a grill that knocks the fat out of

meat? I don't think so.

Look, Angie, you're the one that's always worried about his self -esteem,

Well, boxing, giving it back to him, you should see him, he's little, he's like

that. I don't want him getting his self -esteem from

hurting people.

Calm down here.

Please, Mom, I really like it.

Come on, Angie, look, there's a tournament next week. All right, let me

that it's safe.

How can you say no to this faith?

This faith.

Please, it's the only thing that makes me forget about school.

You can box this one time if I don't like it.

It's over.

Thanks, Mom.

I'm gonna go get some sleep.

I gotta train hard if I'm gonna kick some butt next week.

Oh, my nightlight's out, so I'm gonna leave my door open and the hall light

You got it, killer.

No, I'm serious. Leave it on.

Component is bigger, but slow.

Stay out of his reach, pick your spots, and remember the rhythm.

That'd be great if he was fighting Ricky Ricardo.

Okay, just remember, it's not important whether you win or lose, Max, okay?

What's important is that your mom thinks you're okay.

So even if he's beating the hell out of you, just remember to smile.

Don't worry, baby, he's going to be all right. Hey, Daddy, what's the ring card,

girl? Something you'll never be?

I can't, but thanks for the soda.

Okay.

Gentlemen, I want a clean, hard fight. Obey my instructions.

Touch them up.

I hit you every time my baby gets hit.

Like getting hit in the head?

Oh, that was a long flight.

No, it wasn't.

He's getting killed in there.

Why does he keep smiling at us?

I'll tell you what's happening.

He's afraid to be aggressive and punch back because he knows you want to prove.

Man, he's going to get hurt.

And the capital of California is?

Sacramento. Can I go to bed now?

No, honey. You might have a concussion.

You have to stay awake.

It's kind of funny.

He started boxing to sleep and now he can't sleep or else he'll fall into a

coma.

Woo! Angie, life on the big blue marble.

Can I sit down for a while?

All right, honey.

But I'm going to get you a soda so you stay awake.

Don't be sad, Mac.

The fact that you may have a concussion means that you probably have a brain.

You know, pretty soon I'll be able to beat you up.

Yeah. You're tough, all right.

Lullaby and goodnight and keep it to your coma. Carmen?

How's your head feel, honey? It'll be okay.

The next fight isn't for a week anyway.

Look, there's not going to be a next fight, Max.

When I saw you go down and hit your head like that, I knew it wasn't worth it,

so boxing is over.

Why?

So I got hurt.

I could get hurt skateboarding or playing soccer or playing steak knife

with Ricky.

I have a concussion. I don't know what I'm saying.

What's the difference with boxing? Boxing is someone is trying to hurt you.

When you get hurt, Mac, your mother and I would like it to be more of a

surprise.

Which is good for you, too, because a shock makes us care more.

But it felt good when I was boxing.

It helped me sleep.

Then you gotta take the pressure off yourself, Mac.

Okay, what's the worst thing that could happen if you fail the fifth grade?

I'll be humiliated. I'll lose all my friends.

And every day I go to class, I'll know I'm stupider than everyone else there.

Well, you've obviously given this some thought.

Okay, here's the deal.

Until we find another way to help you sleep, you're not going through this

alone. Okay, we'll stay up with you. Right. We'll watch TV and we'll play

Hey, and we'll prank call Grandma Benny late at night when she's drunk.

over here, you damn kids.

If you had any wells, you'd come over here and say that to my gun.

Okay?

Okay.

You're a good dad.

I just thought he'd feel good if he knew he wasn't going through this alone.

And maybe that'll help him relax and he can finally get some sleep.

Like he is right now.

Max!

The capital of Wyoming is... I don't know.

No, that's good, Angie. He really doesn't know.

What?

My skin.

Just got a spray tan.

I have a healthy glow.

You look like a hairy yam.

Get a spray tan, he said.

Chicks will dig it, he said.

Ernie, I'm not going to insult you.

I just have a message for you.

Willy Wonka called. He wants you back at the factory. right away.