Original subtitles

Baby, quick.

Who's the most powerful man in the world?

You are. You're the most powerful man in the world, and I have been naughty, but

I'm in the middle of something, okay?

Angie, I'm talking about the president of the United States. George W. Bush is

giving a speech at the factory.

I'm meeting the president, Angie!

Oh, my God.

Why is he coming to Powers Aviation?

He's campaigning for more defense spending, and half the factory's Latino.

We're desirable now.

One day we'll put a Latino in the White House.

It'll still be white, but with, like, blue trim.

Little ceramic ducks in the front yard.

Yeah, and every morning the president will drop by the paint store and pick up

his secretary of state, Chato.

This is so exciting. I can't wait.

I'm going to meet the president of the United States. No, no, no. This is just

for us workers.

What? That's not fair.

When do I get a chance to meet the president?

Oh, that'll be next week.

They're going to have a town hall meeting for lazy housewives who sell

makeup.

Well, I guess seeing a president isn't a big deal for you since you saw the

first one.

Oh.

There's some bad news, too.

Since I'll be on camera behind the president, the Powers brothers want me

look more respectable.

They're making me cut my hair.

Oh, no.

What am I going to hold on to?

Not my lunch.

For 15 years, I had to keep my hair short so my head wouldn't get sucked in

punch press.

But I'm a manager now, and this hair says that I play by my own rules.

I might play guitar. You don't know me.

Honey, that's okay, because you know what's sexier than a guy with long hair?

A guy with short hair who's going to meet the president.

Well, you're talking about me, right?

Hey, as long as you're getting things cut, why don't you do something about

skid mark on your chin?

I'll shave mine when you shave yours.

I better go make an appointment with my man Lionel. Oh, hey, hey, don't call his

barbershop. It's closed down.

He's cutting hair over at my beauty salon now.

Oh, great. Now I got to sit around La Casa de Cofuras and listen to old bats

talk about how I, Eric Estrada, he still looks good, I... He looks better

than the white cop.

Hey, what does this junk do?

That hides blemishes.

You got anything that'll hide 30 years of smoke and tequila backsplash?

The lumery paper bag?

I need some new makeup. You know, the president's coming.

I don't care about the president.

Oh, my God.

You've got a man.

Shut up.

Come on, spill it. Who is he and where'd you meet him? Come on, tell me.

All right, his name is Randy. He works the forklift at the factory.

Is it serious?

Would I be asking you about this heart pain if it wasn't?

Penny, I am so happy for you. I think it's great when two people your age...

age?

I don't think so.

Randy is 42.

I don't want some old guy where foreplay is somebody yelling out, Claire!

If anybody's gonna get paddled, it's gonna be me.

Well, the heart wants what the heart wants.

And George is okay with it?

Hey, you know what? He doesn't know.

Benny, you better tell him.

Why? I don't need his permission.

He never asked me about any of the girls he dated. I didn't like any of those

tramps he brought home.

Before you.

Do I look good or what, eh?

You look like the pit boss at an Indian casino.

Kids, get out here!

Where did you get an American flag tie?

Oh, I borrowed it from one of my buddies at work. He's a Sikh.

He keeps it in the locker in case there's a terrorist attack.

Just thought you kids might want to see what your father's going to look like

when he meets the president of the United States.

What? That's right.

George W. Bush is coming to speak at the factory, and I'll be standing right

next to him. Represent!

Y todo. I'm going to be like this.

Hey,

ask him if he got my letter about funding for the arts.

Do you even know what that is?

No.

But it's really important to my teacher, Mr. Hawkins.

He's married to a man who wears sandals.

Can you believe that?

Sandals.

I can't believe you're excited about meeting the president. You didn't even

for him. Hey, hey, young lady.

I didn't vote for anybody.

Then why do you care about meeting him?

Do you even know where I come from?

Carmen, I used to swim in my underwear because I couldn't afford a swimsuit.

And now I'm going to meet the leader of the free world. That means a lot to me.

Dad, you're still swimming in your underwear.

Well, that's my choice now.

Well, I wouldn't want to meet a president who's wasting money on bombs

when there are hungry, sick people out there. Hey, that wasted money is spent

planes that I make and that puts food on this table.

How can you sleep at night knowing you help bomb babies?

Carmen, Carmen, we don't make the bombs.

We make the landing gear so the planes can come back and reload.

Read the shirt, Dad. What?

Smart bombs are done.

Wow.

I didn't realize how powerful a rhinestone T -shirt could be.

We could fix this whole Middle East thing with the bedazzler.

Let me get my shorts. I'll join you.

You don't get it, Dad.

Everyone hates us because we're always starting wars.

Iraq, Vietnam, World War I, World War II, the Civil War.

Well, trust me, America's not bragging about you either, kid.

You don't know what you're talking about, Carmen, and you don't get what a

country this is.

Where else can a second -generation Mexican -American factory worker who

name his congressman and who ignores all his jury summons meet the president of

the United States?

You know what, Angie? Next time you buy stands, forget about Lucy and Desi. Get

the one with the flags. I'm ready también.

I'll go to war right now. I don't care. I'll go to Vietnam and start a fight.

Carmen, you don't know how good you have it here. My uncles are in jail in Cuba

because they dared to express their opinions.

That's not why they're in jail. I'm making a point.

Okay, well, since I can express myself, I'm going down to the factory and

protest the president's speech.

Oh, you do it and I'll kill you. George.

No, I'm serious.

I'll kill you.

You better not show up at the factory, Carmen. So what? I'm like a political

prisoner now? This is America, okay? People fought and died for that right.

I thought you just said war was wrong.

Oh, my God. Is that Georgie?

What's it been, 25 years?

What's up, Sylvia?

Last time I saw you, you were crying.

Every time I saw you, you were crying.

Because every time you saw me, she was my mom.

Come here. Let me look at you.

She's calling you. I ain't going over there. Go over there. That's your friend

Shane, my friend.

Look at you.

You're all grown up now.

I heard you tracked down that deadbeat dad of yours and decked him.

Dropped him with one punch.

That's not something I'm proud of. I just, you know... Handled my business.

Good for you.

You still wet the bed?

You told her!

I tell everybody. That's how I break the ice.

it to your shop. Hey, this is great.

Besides, the price was right, and I get a chance to hang out with all the

bonita señoritas.

And I get a little taste of that every now and then.

What else are we doing today, Benny?

Just a manicure and a reading.

Do you have a question for the tarot?

I want to know if it's going to work out between me and Randy.

I see obstacles.

The fool card in the past position.

That's George.

I was always jealous of the guys I dated.

If I didn't slip him a little bourbon in his sippy cup now and then, I never

would have gone out.

Does he like the guy?

He doesn't know.

You've got to tell George.

Yeah, what if I don't, okay?

It's the death card, Benny.

If you don't tell him, your relationship will die.

Oh, wait. How do I know these voodoo cards are talking about me?

The empress.

The nurturing mother.

I told you that, Sylvia.

George, I'm not kidding. I've been alone too long.

Mom, where are you going to find a guy?

Oh, I don't know.

Come on, there's about 50 guys to pick from at the plant.

George, don't be surprised if someday I come back from break with a smile on my

face and my dress on backwards.

No, no.

No guys from the factory.

I don't want this affecting your work.

Besides, you're five years away from wearing your dress backwards anyways.

cutting i'll say when oh no i'm not cutting that beautiful mane man you have

my bosses want me to look more respectable hey lano i'm meeting

all right but i'm not doing it for the president i'm doing it for

condoleezza because i like to get a little taste of that

to the people of Powers Aviation, people like George Lopez, Bill Johnson, and

LaTonya Harris, our nation is more secure and our world more peaceful.

I did.

Jack, I can't go any shorter, man. This is the volume I want and the control

that I need.

Hey, it wasn't me.

The president just chose me.

It'll take a long -term commitment to root out the evildoers.

I wish I had a sippy cup of bourbon right now.

Listen to this.

I got the key to the storage closet.

Benny, I've known George for a long time.

Now I feel like I'm lying to him. No, you're not lying to him. I'm lying to

He's used to that.

Honey, I can't even decorate my locker with pictures of you getting all soapy,

washing my truck, as George might see.

I want the guys to know about us, so they'll stop saying bad things about you

front of me.

That's so sweet.

I'll tell him tomorrow.

I'd like to thank Jack Powers for inviting me here today.

That's the great thing about this nation.

You don't have to agree with me.

God bless the folks of Powers Aviation, and God bless America.

Senator George, can't you just tell your daughter? I told her not to come down

here. Schools, democracy, Martin Sheen, it's all working against me.

Great speech, Mr. President.

Very sorry about that outburst. Thanks for your support.

I'm sorry too, Mr. President. That was my daughter.

But I guess you know about crazy daughters.

Thanks for your support, Miko.

Hey, I'm the guy you shushed.

Okay, then.

Thanks for your support.

I hope my mom's helped Carmen in the parking lot for me.

Hey, whoa, George, check it out. The president left his speech.

He mentioned me. My name's in that speech.

Hey, you could give it back to him and make up for what Carmen did.

Or I could punish the hell out of Carmen and keep the speech as a souvenir.

Let's do that. No, you can't do that. That's like government property.

They put that stuff in the presidential library.

Presidential library.

Trust me, it's no big deal. Just be casual.

Pretend we're having a conversation.

or sports.

I'm not good under pressure, George. I can't do this. Don't make me do this,

George. Forget it.

I got speech.

Oh, okay.

We got a code 63 on POTUS's speech.

It means we go after whoever stole the president's speech.

Come on, new guy.

Learn the codes.

How was the president's speech?

Boring as hell until Carmen showed up and started heckling him.

What?

All those timeouts you gave her when you should have just been swinging the

belt.

George must be furious. Where's Carmen? Oh, she's in the living room. I'm sorry

I can't stay for the fight, but I gotta go cut some jeans and lather up for a

photo shoot.

I'm not having another one.

What the hell were you thinking?

I thought I told you to stay away from the factory. I obeyed my conscience. The

only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

Do you have any idea how annoying you are right now?

You know what? You're grounded.

For a month.

That's not fair. Mom, please. You understand, right? I mean, sometimes you

to... break the rules to stand up for what you believe in. Carmen, we love

you are thinking for yourself, but there is a time and a place for everything.

And that time and place is not at my work.

You could have jeopardized my job.

You know, maybe if you had actually listened to the president's speech, you

would have learned something about honor and dignity and how this country is

strong because of the quiet decency of working people.

And God bless the folks at Powers Aviation, and God bless America!

You really paid attention to his speech.

No, I stole it.

George, you get a chance to meet the President of the United States and you

steal something from him?

My name's in it. You want to see? Hell, yes.

So it's not okay for you to speak your mind to the President, but it's okay for

you to steal from him?

Here's the difference.

He doesn't know I stole it.

Secret Service. Are your parents here?

I can't let strangers in the house.

Do you have ID?

Please get your parents.

Anyone can make one of those.

My dad has one. It says he's a bikini inspector.

Get your parents.

What happens when you mess with the president of the United States of

George Lopez.

Special Agent Saunders. Listen, I know what this is about, and I want to

apologize for my daughter, okay?

She was way out of line, and she'll never speak out like that again. You can

silence me.

But there are more voices out there.

That's right. It only takes one snowflake to start an avalanche.

Take her away!

Actually, I'm here about the president's speech.

It's been stolen.

A speech, you say?

This is the first I've heard of it.

Um, why don't you kids go upstairs, huh?

Upstairs, you say?

Well, it's the first I've heard of it, though.

Please.

Mr. Lopez, we figured since you were the plant manager, maybe you heard somebody

talk about taking it.

No. Do you have any leads?

Well, after the speech, one of our men thought he saw a large Mexican woman

the podium.

Excuse me, officer.

What would happen to the person who did this if they were caught?

Well, that speech is federal property.

Stealing, it's a felony.

Look, if you hear of anything, let me know.

No problem.

Hey, good luck trying to find the speech.

I don't need luck.

My sole mission is to return that speech to the White House.

Evening.

Come on, Angie. You heard the man.

They got nothing.

Secret service. In the last month, I punched on my dad.

I got the president's speech.

I think I'm finally turning the corner here. So no one else knows you stole

it? Nope.

Just you guys and Ernie.

in speech, would you go out with me?

Oh,

okay. Sorry to bother you.

Dude,

what'd you tell the Secret Service?

I didn't tell them nothing.

Good. I thought you'd crack once I started questioning you about the

The Secret Service is going to question me about the speech?

You want the president mad at me, George?

I don't want to go on that...

Nothing. Right?

You gotta be more like me.

Be cool.

Ice water.

Water. Water.

George.

Gentlemen want to talk to you.

The speech is in my house. It's in a plastic bag taped behind the toilet.

We're not here about a speech.

Then why am I being arrested? I didn't do anything.

You're under arrest for assaulting your father, Manny Lopez.

Okay,

I might have done that.

she wouldn't be getting punished.

Yeah, but making me fold Dad's underwear is cruel and unusual.

This is cruel.

And this is unusual.

Hello?

Angie. Hey, honey. Listen, don't freak out. And don't tell the kids.

But I'm in jail.

What should I do?

Who should I call?

I only get one phone call, right?

Baby, relax.

That's me.

I'm coming down there right now to bail you out.

Look, it's not that simple.

They want to extradite me to Arizona.

Manny Press charges against me for punching him.

Your own father did this to you?

Punching was too good for him. Next time, split his skull with a pickaxe and

we'll bury him in the desert.

You know, they're listening on these phone calls.

of time. You gotta get me a lawyer right now.

I came to talk to you.

I'm sorry I had to do it this way.

Hey, don't apologize.

Three square meals and a rope over my head. Hey, you're finally being a dad.

Look, some skinheads came to my sleepover.

I tried to talk to you in Phoenix, but I lost my train of thought when you

punched me in the face.

Look, save it. I heard it already.

You didn't leave me. You left my mom.

could start over i told myself you were better off without me the truth is i

thought i was better off without you that's an awful thing to think about

son but it's easier not to feel guilty when you don't have to look at the

you hurt i'm sorry you never had a father please

forgive me for not being there

I'd like to be part of your life.

I'll be in LA until tomorrow.

I'm going to drop the charges now.

But you won't be released until I'm safely in the car.

Okay, Lopez.

Free to go.

That was fast.

Not you.

Mrs. Lopez.

It's about...

I'd call him.

You don't want unresolved issues in your life.

Trust me, honey.

Nancy!

Oh, I'm so glad you're home.

Carmen, I was so worried about you. Thank God you're still grounded.

What was it like in there?

Nobody talked to me.

The food sucked.

I was afraid to go to sleep.

So it was a little better than my childhood.

Why did you punch your dad?

Well, Max, he was bad to me, so...

I spanked his face.

I don't understand. Why would he have you erected and then just drop the

charges?

He wanted to talk to me. He said that he was sorry and that he wants to be part

of my life.

Are you going to forgive him? No. No, you know what? Screw him.

He wrecked you emotionally, and I know that's got something to do with how you

treat me.

You have to. You just have to.

Rex, give me a minute with your father, huh?

What are you thinking?

Well, part of me feels like it's way too late to forgive him after what he's put

me through.

But I just want to be angry for the rest of my life like my mom.

Well, you tracked him down for a reason, honey. What did you want from him?

My whole life, I just wanted to know him.

It's all I ever wanted.

Well, this is your chance.

It's never good to have unresolved issues, honey.

That's what the other Mrs. Lopez said.

Probably wondering what happened yesterday, so let me try to explain.

Everyone's scared of you since they heard you beat up your dad.

They're working real hard.

My old man's low productivity disappointed me.

And I don't like being disappointed.

Let me explain.

You don't have to explain anything to me, George.

We were all taking a good swing at our fathers.

I took a shot at mine once during a hunting trip.

Just grazed him.

But he knew.

What did your dad finally die of?

Fishing accident.

I want you to tell me the truth.

Sure, Jack.

Is this some kind of midlife crisis you're going through here, bud?

This long hair, this rebelling against authority, stealing

the president's speech?

Look, I didn't take it. That's just something I yell when I see the cops.

I started putting tapes in the security cameras last month. George, I saw you

take it.

I saw you steal the speech, and off the record, I saw Randy making out with some

little guy in a storage closet.

Does the Secret Service know about that tape? No.

Well, I got to it before they did, but if you don't give that speech back and

cut your hair, I'm going to give it to him.

Jack. You hate my hair so much that you turn me into the government?

Yeah.

Hey, Mom.

Thanks for visiting me in jail.

not go down there. I didn't want to be framed for some 30 year old crime in El

Paso that might have been committed with my fingerprint.

We were on the run that summer.

There's no game called gas station.

he's still trying to be daddy.

If you let that dirt bag back in your life, it'll kill me.

That's good to know. Now I can stop looking for that silver bullet.

What's that card for?

Oh, this? It's nothing. It's just the number of a retirement home for some old

bat. You don't know her.

Oh.

Okay. I'm here.

And his number? What is it for? Mom, look, I'm just going to call him to say

goodbye. That's all. Don't worry about it. That's good. Because if I ever see

that man again, I'm going to reach down his throat.

I'm going to pull out his stomach. I'm going to stretch it over his head like a

hat. And then I am going to sock him in his stomach.

Come on. The man just got out of jail.

There's no excuse in my family.

You're going in there and I'm telling him right now. No, no, no, you're not.

You're not going to make a scene here at work.

Why are you hiding me, Benny? I don't get this.

Somebody hit on me yesterday and I need to know. Am I taken or not?

Okay, I'll tell you what.

We are going to go to George's house together tonight, and we're going to

him everything.

Now, you tell Mama who hit on you.

Can I hear the door? Relax, honey man. He's not here yet.

What's that smell?

I'm putting out cheese.

Angie, I told you, just because he's rich, I don't want us to pretend we're

something that we're not putting out cheese.

to do this.

What?

I changed my mind. Don't answer it.

George, we invited him over here. What are we going to do?

Hide.

Honey, honey, it'll be okay.

All right, honey, if you don't want to do this, we won't. I will hide behind

this couch with you. I won't breathe.

I won't move a muscle if that's what you want.

I love you.

Am I the only one who answers the door around here?

Max!

I'm getting it!

Hi.

I'm Angie.

Welcome to our house.

Thank you.

Manny, this is my son, Max.

Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.

Is that for me?

Oh, sorry.

Oh, thanks. Well, I get it.

I bet you're going to find a $20 bill in my ear.

Max, be honest. Go get your sister.

Manny, have a seat, please.

Oh, Manny, this is my daughter, Carmen.

So this is where dad's dysfunction comes from.

Yeah, after tonight, you might want to abandon her, too.

It's okay.

I know this is a difficult situation, so everyone should just say what they're

feeling.

and then I hate bees.

How do you feel about horses?

I have a stable full of them.

Maybe you can come out to my ranch and ride them sometime.

Okay, easy, Seabiscuit.

Take this one step at a time. We'll talk about it over dinner. Come on.

See,

you've got golf clubs. Play much?

I get out once in a while.

Last weekend I was having the round of my life and then I put three shots in

water. On 18.

You, I put more balls in the water than the men's Olympic swim team.

George!

Hey, George, some idiot parked right in the middle of your driveway.

Hello, Benita.

How the hell could you let him into your home? Look, take it easy, Mom. Relax.

I thought you were going to wait in the car. Didn't seem right. I should be here

when you tell him.

I don't want to say anything in front of the kids, but what this man does better

and longer than that man.

This is why we hide.

Mom, I thought I told you I didn't want you dating somebody from work.

Yeah, and I told you not to forgive this jackass. Benita.

I'm not here to fight. I'm just here to make things right with my son.

Your son?

Where were you when he woke up crying in the middle of the night, huh?

Where were you when he fell off his bike and needed somebody to kiss his boo

-boo? Where were you all those times when he needed...

You're staying.

I invited you. No, no, no. Let him go. I want my grandkids to see him walk out

the door the way he walked out on us. Okay, kids, upstairs. You, outside.

Fine. Come on, Randy. No, Randy stays here. Go on, Adeline.

You told me that you were calling him to say goodbye.

You lied to me. Now, what else don't I know? You want to know? Yeah.

When you die, you're being cremated at the park.

me like this.

I hate that man.

Look, Mom, so did I.

But I'm sick of it.

Look, I'm going to give him a chance.

George, he is the reason that you can't handle me dating Randy.

What are you talking about?

You've done this since you were a kid. You don't want to share your mommy.

All those men who would call the house and you never gave me any of the

messages, and then you would tell me how mean they were to you when I wasn't

looking. It got to be such a hassle. I just...

Really, Mom? You gave up your love life for me?

No, I just stopped dating.

My love life went on behind your back in the garage.

George, don't you see?

You didn't want me to date because you were afraid of losing another parent.

Do this to me, huh? Mom, I'm not doing this to you.

I'm doing it for me.

Look, whether you like it or not, you're the only dad I got.

Fine.

I can't stop you.

And I can't stop you from seeing Randy.

But if you're going to do this, I should warn you.

There's a tape of him making out with the little guy in the storage closet.

George, you cool with what we got here?

You better not hurt my son again.

It would be a real shame if all of your horses died in a barn fire.

And then you died in a house fire. Right before you, all of your horses had just

died. Right in the barn fire.

Want to try this another time?

No, man. Let's just finish eating.

ABC's brand new TGIF continues with Kelly Ripa and Faith Ford in the

Hope and Faith, next.

Hello America, I'm George Lopez.

The actual idea for the story, the show you just saw, me taking the president's

speech, happened in real life.

I was invited to perform at the White House and President Bush, after he

I looked down at the podium and there was the speech with my name in it.

So I grabbed it, I put it in my pocket, and the Secret Service was looking for

me. And I said, you know what, how do they know I took it?

Then they came up to me and they said, Mr. Lopez?

And I said, it's in the car!