Original subtitles

No, really, what did she say?

No.

Oh, my God, no.

Come on, Carmen, you were supposed to be in bed and out.

Are you serious?

I wish I was there.

No.

And then what'd she say?

No way.

No way, man. Oh, no.

Oh, my God, no way.

Are you serious? No way, that's so... Dad.

That was Toby long distance. Thanks for hanging up on my one friend.

You know the rules, Carmen. Lights out at ten.

Carmen. Carmen.

I'm sorry. Are you supposed to be sneaking out tonight? Because I can go.

It's Adam.

Adam? The guy who gave you the hickey?

Carmen, we told you you weren't allowed to see him. Dad, I know. I broke up with

him, but he won't leave me alone. He won't stop coming by. He won't stop

calling. He says he's in love with me.

Really? Why?

He says I'm special.

No, come on, really, why?

Carmen!

All right, I'll handle this.

Dad, be careful. He's on the water polo team.

Okay, I'll try not to fight him in the tub.

Kill you?

Come on.

You ever see a kid fall into the bear cage at the zoo? The bear doesn't kill

right away.

He plays with him for a while.

Come on, let's play.

I don't want to play.

Relax. Let's just talk.

What's going on with Adam?

I love Carmen.

I just can't stop thinking about her. I mean, I know it sounds crazy, but she's

special.

Look, I'm her dad, so I have to say she's special.

But between you and me, there are a million girls out there just like her.

Sometimes when I pick her up from school, I have to look at the picture in

wallet to remember what she looks like.

I just know if I could talk to her, I could get her back.

You give her this poem I wrote for her?

Adam, I think there's a psychological term for what you're going through.

It's called being a giant wuss.

Not a word.

My palm!

Adam, that was for your own good. Come on, man. She doesn't want you.

And if you keep coming around here begging, it's going to get around school

you're a loser.

I mean, get a spine, man. Have some pride. Just get over her.

I don't know how I'm going to do it.

But I guess I have no choice.

Now, you know, if I ever see you around here again,

I'll be burying you next to Justin.

Who's Justin?

He's what makes my roses bloom.

What are

you

doing? I write little notes for Mac to find in his months.

Why?

don't you write him a note?

No, why don't you just put my name like you do on the birthday cards?

Mom, Dad, I need to ask you something.

What is it?

I know something about someone, but I'm not sure if telling on them is the right

thing. Max, what have we told you about being a tattletale?

It's not about you, Dad.

Then spill it.

Carmen did school yesterday, and this morning I heard her crying.

And last week, she used my skateboard.

That's not part of it. I'm just mad about it.

Let me handle this.

So, honey, I forgot to ask you. How was school yesterday?

Fine. Liar!

I was working on something, but thank you.

Why'd you cut school yesterday?

What are you talking about? I went to school yesterday.

Oh, yeah?

What did you learn?

Algebra. X squared minus 3 over Y is 6. If Y is 2, what is X, Dad?

Maybe she did go.

Carmen, we have a witness. Someone who shall remain nameless. You couldn't wait

till I left.

She didn't say your name, bro.

Oh.

Okay, Carmen, what's going on? Nothing's going on. God, I caught... What's the

big deal? What, you never cut school?

No, I didn't.

Dad.

No, your mom didn't.

Hey, you've been pranked. Well, not now, Mom.

No, I just want to see what it says.

I couldn't read it backwards.

Oh, God.

Now I get it.

Why would somebody do this?

It's Adam's fault. He lied and told some of his friends that I...

Honey, that's horrible.

Why the hell would he do that?

He doesn't want people to know I broke up with him. He wants everyone to think

he dumped me because he got what he wanted.

Oh, that little punk.

I thought I straightened him out last week.

I know just what you're going through. When I was in high school, they called

easy, cheap, loose.

Of course, I was pregnant.

I'm going to call Adam's parents about this window right now. Adam didn't do

Piper did.

Piper? This novel used to be your friend? That's her handwriting. I know,

because she wrote, Carmen can't say no pez on my locker.

Hey, thank God our last name isn't Tucker.

Don't worry, honey. We're going to take care of them.

But you still have to go to school today.

No! Yes, Carmen, you can't let them intimidate you.

Fine.

to clean more windows.

All right, this ends now.

You're going to Adams, aren't you?

I'm not going to tell you because then it would be premeditated.

Let me go while it's still a crime of passion.

George, you're not going anywhere.

She's right.

I'll go.

I got a bigger trunk and no plate.

There's a sensible way to handle this. We have to go to the school and talk to

the conflict resolution manager.

The what?

It's a special counselor who will sit these girls down and mediate.

I don't want mediating. I want ass kicking.

What counselor handles that?

George, relax. We have to go through the conflict resolution manager. I'll go to

the website now and make an appointment.

Oh, this is crazy.

You know what? When George was a kid, I marched right down to the school and I

could see any teacher I wanted to.

What are you talking about? You never came to my school.

Nobody called you a whore.

Yeah, right now.

Joe!

Yes?

Oh, excuse me. Hey, I don't want to bother you during lunch, but I want to

to you about my daughter, Carmen Lopez. I have an appointment tomorrow, but I

can't wait.

All right, have a seat.

Man, you look familiar.

Have we met?

I don't think so.

Have you seen me around the school?

No, I don't come here, dude.

Maybe you see me at church.

No, that's not it either.

I work at the polling place every election.

Yeah, maybe that's it.

Well, some people just look familiar.

I'm sorry.

I'm being rude.

You want some of this?

What did you say?

You want some of this?

No, thanks.

I'm allergic to knuckle sandwiches.

Oh, no.

Oh!

I'll meet you at the nurse's office, George.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! You're Rangel.

I haven't been called that since I was a kid.

Hey, man, I'm George Lopez. You beat me up when I was eight.

I don't remember that.

No? Does this look familiar? Oh!

Ah! Oh!

Oh, Spud!

Yes, Spud!

Maybe you don't recognize me because my head doesn't look like a potato anymore.

Man, I remember now.

I got kicked out of school for that fight.

That made my life hell.

So what can I do for you, George?

Hey, listen, man, you got any other conflict guys I can talk to?

Don't be ridiculous.

That was 30 years ago.

I'm going to do everything I can to help your daughter.

What's the problem?

Well, she broke up with this boy, Adam Connors, and he started telling

at school he had sex with her.

Now a bunch of girls are picking on her, and one of them, Piper Morey, wrote,

Hope has on my house and shaving cream.

Piper Morey? Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure. My daughter told me she wrote it.

George, unless you have an eyewitness.

Piper's an honor student, class president, and one of the stars of this

Carmen, well, she goes here.

My daughter doesn't lie, Rango. I want those girls brought in here and punished

right now.

I can't do that. You know there's two sides to every story. Oh, so you're

with Piper. See, this makes total sense.

You're a bully, so you're siding with the bullies. Bully?

Why don't you come on this side of the desk and say that?

Are there any other conflict guys I can talk to?

I'm sorry.

Got a little out of control.

I got some blood sugar issues I'm working on.

Listen, I'm just worried about my daughter. What can you do about this?

I'll look into it.

But, Rangel, the sports I'm telling you, this whole thing will blow over in a

week. Before you know it, Carmen will go back to being the same anonymous

student she was before.

That's all I'm asking for.

Where are you going?

Home. Wait, hold on.

We heard that someone wrote hope heads on your house, and we felt really bad,

we got you a little present.

It's a pillow, so you'll be more comfortable.

You know, with all that time you spend on your back.

Screw you, Piper.

What?

I walk in, and there he is.

Tommy Rango Durango. Can you believe that?

The conflict manager is my bully from grade school.

I would have loved to have met him, George, but somebody didn't wait for our

appointment.

Well, I'm sorry, Angie. I couldn't wait.

You know, this guy said Karma's problems are going to blow over.

But I'm starting to think this guy's doing nothing on purpose just to get

at me.

Well, why would he do that?

If I get expelled for this!

What does that mean?

I don't know.

Come on, George. You're just being paranoid. Who holds a grudge for 30

So you're not still mad I forgot to wear my jacket in our wedding photo?

Absolutely not.

Doesn't bother you at all? Nope. So you're over it? Of course.

I have no problem with the fact that the happiest day of my life is just casual

Saturday to you.

Every time I walk past that wedding picture, I die a little.

Hey, I'm glad you're over it.

Carmen, what happened?

I got in a fight with Piper.

She kept calling me a slut, then she pushed me.

My God, are you all right?

You have blood on you. That's Piper's.

Really?

Yeah, I punched her in the nose.

Come on, let me have this. She drew blood.

I didn't start the fight. I didn't even want to fight her, but she made me.

You believe me, right?

We believe you, honey.

Good, because Mr. Durango didn't.

I'm suspended.

What?

You're suspended? That's not right.

You see, I told you, Angie, he's paying me back by getting back at my daughter.

You still think I'm being paranoid?

Hey, what's going on?

Well, Carmen got in a fight, Mom.

on you.

It's the other girls.

Damn, my granddaughter's a scrapper.

Mom, we don't encourage violence in this house.

Benny, take Carmen upstairs and help her clean up. Sure.

Let's go, champ.

Okay. I agree this Rango's got a history with you, and maybe he even thinks that

he can still bully you, but he has never messed with me before.

He is going to fix it, and fix it now.

Wait, don't tell me you're going back to the website.

To hell with the appointment.

When my babies hurt, I go medieval. We're going over there.

Let me get my jacket.

Oh, now you remember your jacket.

Hello, Mr.

Durango. Angie Lopez.

You know Spud.

Angie here.

We need to talk about your daughter. No.

No more talking. I told you I wanted those girls brought in and you didn't do

it. And my daughter got hurt. And now you're going to do something starting

unsuspending Carmen.

I can't do that. Yes, you can. Carmen is the victim here? She is not.

I spoke to Piper and other girls who were there.

Carmen started the fight.

What? That doesn't make any sense.

It does if you know that Adam broke up with Carmen to go out with Piper.

Piper and her friends are lying to you.

Well, you're not exactly an unbiased party.

So unless you have a witness to back up Carmen's story, I have to take Piper's

word.

I started the rumor about Carmen because she broke up with me.

Then I saw Piper and her friends making fun of Carmen.

And?

And Piper's lying. I saw her push Carmen and throw the first punch. She started

the fight.

And no one puts you up to this.

No, sir.

Okay.

Mr. and Mrs. Lopez, I'll speak to the vice principal and I'll get Carmen's

suspension reversed.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Lopez.

Could you give this note to Carmen?

Is everything okay with the kids?

Was I babysitting?

Yes.

Well, in that case, they were a handful.

You owe me 20 bucks.

Carmen, good news. You're not suspended.

Piper is. You can go back to school. And Mr. Durango's going to make sure none

of the kids ever mess with you again.

I'm not going back.

Carmen, everything is going to be better now. Adam's going to tell everyone that

he lied.

You don't understand. It's too late.

I'm the school whore now.

Carmen, I think you're getting a little carried away.

Yeah, this is Jason. I'd like to leave a message for the school whore.

Who are those boys? I'll get them suspended.

Go upstairs so your mom and I can talk.

She's not wrong.

She could never get her reputation back.

I don't want to see her suffer like this for three more years. Me either.

What are you thinking?

Private school.

That's what I was thinking.

Can we afford it?

No. We'll have to sell the boy.

Really?

What are we going to do?

We'll be okay.

We'll cut back on a few things. We'll make some adjustments.

Maybe I can go back to work.

Mom?

You say you love me.

and you say you love the flower vase in the hall.

If one of those things broke the other, would you still love me?

You can think about it.

Sell the boy.

Do you remember that guy, Rango Durango?

Oh, man, Rango Durango?

I remember that guy.

Oof, I'd put a hurt on him.

Rango Durango?

You remember? He was picking on you, so I beat him up.

Oh, so that's what happened. You didn't run away like a little girl? Hey, Ernie

the Eliminator doesn't run away.

So that's what happened.

You beat up Rango Durango. That's what I'm saying.

What would you do now if you saw him? Hey, I kicked his butt back then, and

kick it now.

Don't drop the soap.

Laughter.