Original subtitles

Okay, laundry, dishes, pay the bill, bed the dog.

What you doing?

What's a productivity chart?

Yeah, tell me about it.

Okay, I'm tracking a hydraulic valve to the production process until it's fitted

in a strut.

Honey, that's fascinating.

What happens after that?

What are you trying to do, talk to me?

Is it so crazy for a wife to show an interest in her husband's work?

Angie, I'm not interested in my work.

See this stain? That's drool from when I fell asleep.

See that stain? That's blood from when I stabbed my hand to stay awake.

You know what gets out bloodstain? Human saliva.

Go ahead, drool on your shirt. I'll show you.

Baby, you're bored spitless.

No, I'm not.

Get everything on my list.

I'm going to see if Carmen wants to read one of her poems to me.

If you're not bored now, you will be.

Hey, Carmen, want to read me one of your poems?

Oh, I don't have time. I'm going to the mall to get some shoes.

Oh, hey, Matt.

You want some help on that art project?

Not now, Mom. I'm fighting my way through the dungeon trying to get the

chalice.

Do you even know what a chalice is?

It's something that five dragons, a troll, and you are keeping me from

Well, hey, how about I fight alongside you? No, Mom, don't!

Grace, you just killed me. I'm dead. I'm dead!

Mr. Needles, you want to play?

Okay.

Hey, Benny.

Huh.

What's the matter?

I did everything on my list.

I'm even three days ahead.

There's absolutely nothing left to do.

Want to have sex?

me to fall asleep.

George, we're busy with work.

The kids are growing up. The dog beat cancer.

I got nothing.

Everybody's taken care of.

Be happy you finally have some time to yourself.

You know what?

You're right.

This is my time.

So what do you want to do? What makes you happy?

I like helping people.

No, really. What makes you happy?

And there's so many causes that could use my time. The homeless, endangered

animals, the elderly.

How am I going to choose?

Okay, let's narrow it down.

Panda or spotted owl?

Oh, they're both cute.

Panda. Okay.

Pandas are shut -ins, but the shut -ins are really cute.

George, my only criteria isn't that they're cute.

Pandas.

rehabilitate former gang members. This group's learning how to make a living

grooming dogs.

Hey, well, I think this is a great idea. Let all the hoodlums know where you

live.

You know what? Save yourself some time. Lay out your valuables and hogtie

yourself.

Benny, these kids are just trying to better themselves. The least I can do is

spend my Saturdays helping them.

Saturday? Angie, that's our family day.

We spend time together. I barbecue. You ask me to do things.

I hide in the yard.

And as there's guns and poop all over the place.

George, Saturdays the kids are out with their friends and you're watching

sports. And that's okay.

That's your thing. This is my thing. Hey, one of your things just talked 40

ounce into the rose bushes.

George, this is Giggles. This whole program started with him.

Oh, hey, Giggles. You're the little pioneer dog, aren't you? Yes, you are.

Giggles.

That's Ralphie.

Oh, right.

Hey, Giggles.

How'd you get that tag?

I love to laugh.

Giggles, why don't you tell George a little about how the program helped you?

I was banging since I was 10, but I got out because I found something to believe

in. Dog grooming has saved my life.

But Cousin Felix was saved by knitting sweaters for cats.

For reals?

Yeah, sure, why not?

Hey, I'm done with this one.

This looks horrible.

What were you thinking? How do you think that makes him feel?

I don't care.

I didn't spend four years getting my GED to shave dogs.

That's not exactly what I want to do with my life.

Okay, then what do you want to do with your life?

I don't know.

Well, everybody needs a purpose. You have to want to do something.

I don't know.

I always figured I'd do something more high class.

You know, like working in an office.

Oh.

Just give me a minute.

George.

George. No, no, no.

I'm not taking her down to the factory. Don't start. She can be an intern. It

won't cost you a cent. The foundation will pay for it. Angie, we shouldn't be

getting involved in this. We don't know anything about her. She could be a

lunatic. Look, why don't we just let her babysit for a while?

George, if you don't give her a second chance, who will?

Not that dog.

Oh.

One week.

That's all she gets.

Thank you.

Yo, Giggles.

What's the story with this girl?

Marisol? I don't know, homie. I haven't tapped that yet.

That's not what I meant, but thank you, Giggles.

It's 8 .30. I told you we start at 8. You're late.

I know, huh?

So what'd I miss?

You missed the satisfaction of arriving on time, of making a good impression, of

meeting your co -worker. You know you got the dead eyes of a shark.

Don't try to be all nice.

Hey, the new intern.

Hi, I'm Ernie. Welcome to Powers Aviation.

You got big ears.

Big Q -tip.

Come on, I'll show you to your desk.

This is where you sit.

When you answer the phones, say Powers Brothers Aviation. May I help you?

If I'm not here, take a message. If it's important, come find me. You got any

questions? Yeah. Do you always spit when you talk?

Angie, you're killing me.

Okay, watch this.

Powers Brothers Aviation, may I help you?

It's for you.

Hello?

Hey, Junior.

Nah, that's that fool I was telling you about.

How's it going with Miss Home Invasion over there?

I never should have let Angie talk me into bringing this girl here. She's

sarcastic. She's rude.

She's like you with estrogen.

I told you it was a bad idea to bring her into your home, and it's a bad idea

bring her to work.

Powers Brothers Aviation.

It's Mrs. Lopez.

Oh, that's my wife.

It's a word. Here, let me help you.

Dad, you have dyslexia, too.

Wait, give me a minute. I can do this.

I think the last word is gizzic.

Are you sure it's not gigiz?

Yeah, that's it. Write that down.

smell, but old people smell.

They're part of Operation Christmas Rescue. They're repping gifts for

disadvantaged kids.

This is your third new charity. I thought you were only going to volunteer

couple hours a week.

Well, the gang people introduced me to the clothes drive people, and it's so

hard to say no when you're needed so much.

Just don't send any more of your charity cases to my office.

What? What happened with Marisol?

She's terrible.

You know the guy that got fired and came back and tried to shoot up the plant?

He had a better attitude.

Really? Well, she and Ernie were playing chicken with forklifts.

Only Ernie wasn't even in a forklift. He was just running.

Hey, that's not for you. I'm cooking for meals on wheels.

So what are we having for dinner?

I don't know. You can microwave something.

Microwave? Why? There's like 900 chicken wings here.

Are you a shut -in? Are you going to die in six months? Then get off my chicken.

Not now, honey. I'm busy.

But I need them for school. Can you at least show me how to do it?

You know what? I'll get to it when I'm done cooking.

Hey, Emma. Hi, Angie. We're here for the meals on wheels. Oh, the ones on the

counter are ready for delivery.

Hey, I can help, too.

I'll deliver this meal to the next hungry person I see.

God bless you, sir.

Give me that.

You know, Janet called instead.

When you're finished cooking, could you deliver some meals for us tonight?

No.

Sure. You can count on me.

I thought we were going to watch movies tonight. I already rented some.

No, I can't now, George.

Oh, this changes everything.

I could have gotten a movie I like.

Instead of one that'll touch your heart and celebrate the triumph of the

human...

Emma, I'll meet you down at the center in half an hour.

Mom, where's my book bag? Did you look in your room? It's too messy.

Mom, if you're delivering meals, when are you going to have my pants?

When are you going to help me look for my book bag?

I don't know.

George, could you give me a little help here?

Listen to your mother.

George!

What do you want me to say? I think you're spreading yourself way too thin.

You encouraged me to do this. But I didn't encourage you to do so much you

couldn't do anything else.

All right. All right. That is it.

A week ago, you guys didn't need me for anything.

But as soon as I find something that I want to do, you're helpless.

Carmen, there is a sewing book by the machine. Figure it out. And next, I bet

you clean your room, you will find your book bag. And George, make your own

dinner and watch your chick flick.

Everybody, stop asking me to do things that you could be doing on your own.

I swear I never met a more selfish bunch of people.

Hey, what are you guys looking at? Mind your own business.

and blowing the heating.

That doesn't make any sense.

I know, huh?

Towers are moving and blowing the heating.

The powers are moving the Boeing meeting.

Hey,

now this other message makes sense.

You missed your heating.

George! George, where you been? The Powers brothers are really ticked off.

want to see you in their office right now. Right now.

Hey, I told you, if there are any important calls, to come and get me on

floor. If you can't answer the damn phone, what good are you?

Too good for you.

I'm out of here.

Perfect. Quit.

That's a surprise.

Hey, it's a surprise to me.

I thought she'd burn the place down.

What do you care? You would have fired me anyway.

How do you know?

You're quitting before you get fired.

You think if you don't try, you can't fail.

You don't know anything about me, fool.

I don't know you. I was you.

But you're right. You know what? I'm the fool.

So just get out of here and do nothing, because that's what you're going to end

up being, nothing.

Power Brothers Aviation.

It's your kid's school or something.

Hello? Uh -huh.

Okay, I'll be right down. Thank you.

I have my son sick and they can't find Angie.

Well, what should I tell the Powers brothers?

Okay, write this down.

Tell them it's all Angie's fault that she made me hire an intern that made me

miss the meeting and I can't explain myself to them because I gotta go to the

school to pick up my sick kid because my wife's out there trying to save the

world.

Okay.

Is there any chicken soup in the house?

I don't know, Dad. I'm just trying to help Mom by doing the laundry.

Oh, by the way, I can't find any of Max's underwear.

Does he go commando?

No, Mom saves them all till Sunday night, and then she does the load of

Okay, I didn't really need to know that.

Got sick and I had to pick him up from school. Where the hell were you?

I was delivering meals.

You okay?

He has a stomachache.

And you had to leave work at a bad time.

Listen to you. You picked one of our kids up from school one time. You make

sound like I'm neglecting the family.

I can't keep running home from work. You've got to be available.

You know, I am not getting into this right now. I want to check on Max.

Honey, how are you feeling?

Not good.

It's at its temperature and there's no fever.

It's a stomachache. It's going around the school.

It lasts three days.

Three days?

So you'll be fine to go to that laser tag birthday party on Saturday?

Is that this Saturday?

You know, if he's this thick, maybe we should take him to the hospital.

I hear they got a new stomach pump. More pressure?

Did they fix it?

Because I heard it turned one kid completely inside out.

Okay,

okay, I'm not sick.

Hey, so why'd you lie?

I had to get out of school.

I wasn't ready to take my reading test for special ed.

Dad tried to help me with my homework, but I don't have that kind of time.

Next, why didn't you ask me?

You said we...

Honey, that's not what I meant.

You can always come to me, okay?

Okay.

Sorry I lied, Dad. I just didn't want to get help back.

Well, there's something I want to know.

Hey, how'd you fake the vomit?

Let's just say I know a guy.

Angie. Don't say it.

I'll say it for you.

I screwed up.

Well, that's no fun.

I overdid it. I took on too much stuff.

So what's going on?

You know what I did today?

I brought a meal to an old woman.

She thanked me.

She hugged me.

She also thought I was Natalie Wood, but that's another story.

Angie, I know you like helping people.

It's not just helping people. I made a difference.

I wasn't making a difference around here anymore.

Are you kidding? You make a huge difference.

You just don't get the thank yous.

Kids never appreciate anything you do.

Remember when we made the deal that one of us would work and one of us would

stay home with the kids?

Angie, you picked a harder job.

I get to punch in and punch out, but you don't, sucker.

I'll cut back.

They do need me.

And I need you, too.

Come here, baby.

You know, when we got married, you said we'd spend our whole lives together.

And that didn't sound so good at first.

But I've kind of gotten used to the idea.

Me, too.

Hey, Carmen found Max's underwear.

George!

What's wrong?

I'm so sick.

But we were supposed to see the Nutcracker today.

Is that this Saturday?

You just stay here and relax, okay?

Are those your golf shoes?

That's not a thermometer.