Original subtitles

Find who did this.

Avenge me.

Avenge me too.

Don't worry.

We'll be together in the next world.

Unless Salma Hayek gets there before you.

We said don't get through it part. After that, you're on your own.

Come on, Angie. This is my favorite holiday.

Mexicans take Halloween to the next level. We get to dress up like

It's the only time of the year we're thin.

Wait till you see what I got planned.

The treats are going to be in this bowl.

If anyone can get past the terror rear.

Does the demon dog want his belly rubbed?

Yes, he does.

Yes, he does.

Stop it.

You're diminishing his evil.

Dad, sure, what happens when people get close to the candy?

Take only one candy.

Mom,

Dad, Toby's leaving now.

Oh, honey, we're so sorry you're moving.

We're all gonna miss you.

Oh.

Yeah, but don't worry, we'll vintage you up there.

Really? When?

Let's not spoil the surprise.

I gotta go.

I'll never have a friend like you.

You were there when I threw up at the dance.

You were there when I broke my leg on the school field trip.

And you were there when that... That goose turned on me in the penning zoo.

I made this for you, so you'll never forget me.

I'm really gonna miss you.

Look at her. This is horrible. She just lost her best friend.

Let me talk to her.

Just watch the real world.

Right now, right now.

Go!

All right, I'll handle it.

Damn. What's up? The Powers brothers want me to fire Reggie.

What's the problem? He's a terrible employee.

I know, but if I fire him, I won't have anybody to play Santa at the company

party.

Excuse me, Santa.

I've got to go find Reggie.

Reggie, can I talk to you in my office?

No, George, I can't. I've got to get going home. We had a big fire, almost

whole house. Even my parrot, Janie, died.

The last thing the fireman heard was, Pretty bird.

Pretty bird.

Pretty bird.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, George. What did you want to tell me?

Nothing. You better get going.

Hey, I heard.

Hey, man, the colonel fries birds every day. Nobody cries for them.

Hey, Angie.

I'm staying for dinner, but I don't smell anything cooking.

I'll get you something alive. I know how you like to chase.

I want to love you, but you make it hard.

So how's Carmen doing?

Not good. Ever since Toby left, every day she just comes home from school and

watches TV until bedtime.

Damn, it must be nice.

You wouldn't joke if you had to watch MTV all day. I've seen so many rap

I feel like having a pool party.

Where's all my dirties?

Probably in the laundry, not done.

How you living?

Great.

Making any friends?

Not trying.

So, what are you going to do? Sit on the couch forever?

Maybe. Going to take care of us when we get older? Whatever.

Carmen, honey, I'm going to the mall.

You want to come with me?

I'll be in my room where it's quiet.

Hey, you got her off the couch.

This isn't good.

Come on. Angie, she's a kid. She's going through something. Let her.

For now, but I'm telling you, she needs to get her butt out the door and make

some new friends. Hey, I didn't have a lot of friends in high school, and I

turned out fine.

I did. I turned out fine.

Hey, you passed my expectations when you finished sixth grade.

What's 12 times 12? 144.

Every time.

Amazing.

George, have you seen Reggie?

You still walking around with that shoebox full of bird ashes?

Yeah. You know, it's the weirdest thing.

It rattles.

The beak don't burn, Ernie. The beak don't burn.

You know what? The Powers Brothers are going to fire me if I don't fire Reggie.

I got to do it now.

When you have a second.

You can't leave me.

No, you can't just throw away a marriage after 10 years.

Listen, why don't we just talk?

What's going on, Reggie?

My wife is leaving.

Reggie?

Keep doing your thing, brother.

Till Friday.

Thanks for making my costume, Grandma.

Yeah, well, you know, I had 30 seconds to kill.

Oh, man.

That is one scary -ass costume.

I like yours too, Max.

George, we gotta talk.

What? It's been two weeks.

Hey, I work all day. I'm tired at night. I can't just turn it on.

I'm talking about Carmen.

Kids need to be kept busy or sooner or later they get into trouble.

There's a report out that says that most underage sex, drinking, and hooliganism

happens between 3 and 6 p .m.

Hooliganism?

How old is that report?

You know what she needs to do? She needs some extracurricular activities.

Here we go again.

I had a ton of activities and a ton of friends.

Yes, Miss Homecoming Queen, head cheerleader, yearbook editor, but where

that popularity get you?

You married the guy with no friends.

Face it, honey, you peaked.

You can make fun, but I didn't have time to sit around the house and do nothing.

And Carmen is not going to do that either.

I went to her school website.

Look, look at all the stuff that she could be doing.

Homecoming committee, school newspaper, pep squad.

Angie, this is what should happen. You should back off and let her find her own

way. Well, how long is that going to take?

If she's anything like me.

She should get it together late 30s.

Well, I think we need to be a lot tougher on this girl. I am tired of

her. What are you doing?

I'm taking her dinner.

Carmen, dinner's here. You didn't knock.

George, come up here. Put that back up right where it was and don't move a

muscle.

What's wrong?

Have you lost your mind, Carmen? What did you... those.

Took them from Grandma Benny. I was just going to try one.

Exactly what time did you take them?

I don't know.

Sometime after three and before six.

What's all the commotion?

George is letting Carmen find her own way.

Let her find her own moat.

You two, keep up the good work.

Angie, I understand we've got to do something, but why pep squad?

Because pep squad teaches you teamwork, discipline, you make friends, and you

can't cheer with a cigarette in your mouth.

Oh, it walks like a cheerleader. It's dressed like a cheerleader.

Oh, it's ignoring me like a cheerleader.

Hey, I had to call in a lot of favorites with your counselor to get you on that

squad. It's just a lucky thing that other girl transferred out. I don't want

do this. Carmen.

Stop worrying. You're going to do great.

This is all you've got to remember.

When you clap, send it out to the world. Send it out to the world.

You still got your old pom -poms?

Because I got spirit. Yes, I do.

I got five minutes before work. How about you?

Bad news, dude.

Got another memo from the Powers brothers.

You're gone.

But you said planes need wings.

I know what I said.

But you're gone.

I don't know how to do anything else.

And my parents count on my income. We'll be out on the street.

Hey, you know what? We all got problems, man.

Clean out your locker.

How was that? Unbelievable, right?

No.

Okay, now I'm ready.

Reggie, I need to talk to you. Oh, good, because I need to talk to you, too. Let

me go first, man. Don't interrupt me.

Okay, but I got good news.

Really? I'm in love.

It's amazing.

I go to see a divorce lawyer. It turns out to be my high school sweetheart.

It's like we've never been apart.

So I'm going to go get a quickie divorce, and then we are going to Vegas

the knot.

My heart has wings, George.

And I'm flying!

Oh, congratulations, man.

You're fired.

What?

No, no, you can't fire me, George. I mean, things are just starting to go

I know.

I'm sorry.

God, I feel terrible, Reggie. I mean, this is the worst week of my life. Man,

gotta fire my favorite employee. My daughter's a hooligan. My wife's been

sending it out to the world.

You met my mom.

It's okay, buddy.

I understand.

You all right?

Are you leaving?

Yeah.

I'm okay.

Guess it's a little weird me getting in because Patty transferred.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Patty didn't really get transferred.

She got knocked up.

But you look good in her uniform.

It's a little loose in the front.

I guess Patty was, too.

Look, we know you have a lot of catching up to do, so we'll do something simple

first. Let's try a call and response.

Okay, what do I do?

Well, we'll call out a line, and then we'll point to you, and you respond

It's true.

Send it out to the world.

You're on door duty until Carmen gets back. She's probably out hanging with

pep squad buddies.

Now I'm ignoring the cocky witch and going over to the front door.

smarty princess.

Hey, we need another pillowcase. This one's full.

Hey, Max, you want some water, honey? You must be hot under there.

You're not my grandma.

Oh, crap.

I'll be right back.

I'll take the car. You go go to the door.

I lost grandma.

Oh.

It's okay, honey.

Grandma's fine.

What's she has on my candy?

Yeah, but she thinks you're lost and she's really worried. and that's like

to Daddy.

So,

how'd it go?

I learned to cheer.

When I point to you, you say it's true, it's true. Cool.

They called me a loser because Mom got me on the squad. They hate me and don't

want me there.

Oh, honey.

Do me a favor. Stay out of my life.

I gotta go talk to her. No.

Let her cool off.

I'll go up there in a minute.

No, Mom.

Oh, crap.

You know what would make you feel better is some pudding.

That's candy.

I know. I just like saying the word pudding.

You don't know how horrible it was. You've never been humiliated like that.

Carmen, believe me, I know how mean kids can be.

There were these guys at my neighborhood, they used to call me Spud.

Because I was dark, I had really short hair, my head was kind of lumpy.

I guess I looked like a potato.

But that didn't give them a right to hold me down and butter me.

Well, maybe if someone held Mom down and buttered her, she wouldn't have made me

do this.

I bet Noah's made fun of her.

God, she's so perfect.

Listen, Carmen, your mom was happy in high school. She thought Pep Squad would

do the same thing for you. But I'm not like...

No, you're like me.

Damn, I'm sorry.

I thought I was gonna meet all these cool people in high school.

Now everybody hates me.

I miss Toby.

I know, Carmen, but you gotta believe me when I tell you everything's gonna turn

out. Ain't nobody had a worse childhood than me, and I turned out fine.

12 times 12, 144.

12 times 13?

Hey, we're talking about you.

So what am I going to do? Sit in my room for the next four years?

No, I think your mom had a point about joining the group. You just have to pick

the right group.

I mean, what do you like to do?

I don't know.

Hey, if I know my little girl, it's probably Barbies and Easy Bake Ovens.

Huh?

Huh? Miss Pac -Man, Betty Spaghetti, Barrel of Monkeys.

Help me out.

Kind of like writing.

Well, see, there's got to be other kids into that.

There's a poetry club, but I don't think my poems will ever be good enough.

Carmen, if it's what you love, you got to have the guts to pursue it.

Besides, if you wrote those poems, I'm sure they're great.

Can I read one to you?

Oh.

Out loud.

Sup? What's going on in the kitchen? I thought we sprayed for freaks.

That's the poetry club. They're having a party.

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

Hey,

good for Carmen.

Yeah, well, she's still barely talking to me.

Come on.

You had the right idea.

You just met the wrong group.

You're a great mom.

And I'm not afraid to send that out to the world. Send it out to the world.

Just send it to me next time and I'll send it out to the world.

I'm going to close the shade so my friends are getting skin color.

Do you guys need any more brownies?

Yeah, all right.

Did you hear that?

Yeah, all right.

That's not too far from it. You're the best mom ever. Just because you did one

thing wrong doesn't mean I should forget the millions and millions of wonderful

things you've done for me.

You know, that reminds me of a little poem.

Angie, when it comes to the children, we're on equal footing.

Now let's go upstairs and make some sweet, sweet pudding.

front of a skeleton that could be