Original subtitles

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

Here we go.

Flapjacks a la PBS.

What makes them Flapjacks a la PBS, Dad? Well, I don't really know.

I guess it's because they're good and good for you.

They're a nutritious start to a non -profit day.

Alex, you know it's not polite to type at the table.

Okay, Mel.

Let me use the top of your head.

I need a flat surface.

What are you doing?

Well, how about my younger brother? See, they're having class elections at

Andy's kindergarten, so I'm typing up a resume for him that will assure success.

In 1987, Andrew Keaton served as director of nutritional unit

preschool.

What is that?

Milk monitor, Dad.

Hey, everybody.

Guess who is buddy for the day in kindergarten?

Congratulations, Mom.

No, not me. No, it's Andy.

See, whenever a new child comes to the school, the teacher picks one of the

responsible kids in the class, and that child gets to show the other child

around school for the day.

That sounds like orientation at Grant College.

Congratulations, buddy, for the day. That's going to go right into your

When was Andy ambassador to the United Nations?

Too much.

Good morning, everybody.

Hey. All right there, Andy, ready to go to school?

Is it an exchange program with Grand College?

No, your parents asked me to take Andy to school today.

No, Skippy. I asked you to pick up Andy after school this afternoon.

Alex is taking him this morning.

We really appreciate you doing this, Skip. Oh, don't mention it, Mr. Keaton.

many ways, I consider myself part of this family.

Except, of course, I don't look like any of you.

And I live in a different house.

And I have a different last name.

And a different first name.

That's nice, Skip.

In many ways, we consider you part of this family, too. Don't we?

Pathetoth did.

Oh, wow.

Just bring back memory.

Andy, my first day of kindergarten, I cried.

Were you scared, Alex?

No, no, I just found out they weren't going to pay us.

Oh, good morning, Andy.

Hello, Alex. Good morning, Mrs.

Metcalf.

Good morning, boys, and it's Miss Metcalf.

What have you... got married yet?

Andy, um, actually I was married, but it didn't work out. Sometimes I would come

home and he'd be... Well, that's a different story.

No, no, go on.

Oh, Andy, um, why don't you join the group? We're just about ready to get

started. But what happened to your husband?

I will tell the whole class at story time.

I'm not going to be able to make it to story time.

Alex, how have you been?

Oh, hey, can't complain.

Straight A's, Dean's List, Miss Senior over at Leland's. Oh, good.

We're very proud of you. Well, thanks.

Uh, Mrs. Medcalf, uh, any word on that grade change yet?

Alex, I'm keenly aware of your campaign to have that grade changed, but, uh,

it's been over 15 years, and your teacher at the time, Mrs.

Wills... Has died.

All right. Okay. Hey, fine.

Fine. I don't get into a good graduate program.

I'm suing this school.

Excuse me.

Good morning. Hi.

Good morning, Josh. And welcome to the class.

Are you my teacher?

Yes. I'm your teacher.

Um, Andy.

You want to come here for a second?

Andy, I'd like you to meet... Mrs. Richards.

Hi, Andy. Nice to meet you.

And this is Josh.

Now, Andy, Josh can't hear, but he speaks by signing.

It's called sign language.

See, right now he said that he's very happy to meet you.

I would like to say I'm very happy to meet him, but how can I if he can't

Well, he can't. He can't hear you.

But he can read your lips a little bit, so you can talk to him.

Josh, I'm very glad to meet you.

Is that okay?

He's signing yes.

Okay, now, Andy, you're going to be Josh's buddy for the day. Would you like

see our goldfish?

All right.

Bye -bye. Bye -bye.

Well, I can see he's in good hands. Oh, Andy's a very sweet kid.

I think they're going to be good friends.

I've got to go to work. Okay, thanks a lot. Bye -bye. Bye.

Hi, Andy.

Hi, Eugene.

This is Josh.

What's he doing?

He talks with fans.

He can't hear.

What do you mean he can't hear?

if he can hear this.

Hey, kid, get out of the way. I want to see the fish.

Yeah, me too.

Move it.

You can stop it. Don't do that to him.

All right, all right, all right, children. Come on, let's go sit back

Let's get back to work.

Don't feel bad.

It was nice driving around Columbus, wasn't it?

Cincinnati was very nice, too. It was.

And best of all, it gave me a chance to learn sign language.

My name?

Okay. F -K -I -P

-P -Y.

Two P's? Are you sure?

No wonder I never get any mail.

Josh, do you want to color?

Oh, you know, it's funny.

When I was a kid, there were certain things I didn't do very well.

Coloring, sports, math, spelling, gargling.

But as you get older, it doesn't matter as much. There are so many new things I

can't do.

a cat once.

His name was Skippy.

And sometimes when my mother would call me to dinner, he would get there first.

So I would get his tender vittles.

When Eugene and other kids made fun of you today, were you sad?

I'll never make fun of you.

What happened?

Eugene and other kids made fun of him today.

Oh, that's not nice.

Believe me, I know what it's like to be teased.

Josh, are you sad because you can't hear?

I guess I shouldn't be sad either.

I'll get it.

Hi, are you Skippy? Yeah. I'm Josh's mom.

Oh, me too.

Hey.

Hi. Do you have... fun today?

Yes. What'd you do?

Andy, Josh said you were a great buddy for the day. Thank you.

Skippy, Josh says the next time you pick him up, he wants to go to Michigan.

What does that mean?

He's just kidding you. We weren't that close to Michigan.

We were closer to Florida.

Tell Andy you'll see him tomorrow.

Yeah,

I'm going. I'm going home. Come on. Here you go.

Thank you.

Skippy, friends are supposed to share, right?

Right.

So if my friend has a problem, it's my problem too, right?

Right. Especially if it's a good friend.

Now I know what to do.

Hey, guys.

Hi. Hey, how'd it go? Skip, any trouble picking up Andy at school? Well, the

picking up part went fairly smoothly, but then on the way home, we saw a

bit more of the Midwest than we had planned.

Andy, I see you had your milk and cookies.

Yeah, yeah, you sure did. And that reminds me, you're low on milk,

syrup, peanut butter, and jelly.

Well, I'll try to restock before your next visit.

Thanks. It means a lot to me.

Andy, what would you rather have for dinner? Pizza or your mother's special

plankton nut loaf?

It's pizza, honey.

So how was school today, Andy?

You okay? Something wrong?

Are you okay, buddy?

What's up?

I got pizza.

I got pizza, pepperoni, sausage, and anchovy.

And for dessert, I got pizza with Alka -Seltzer.

Alex, I gave you $40. Might there not be some change forthcoming?

Well, Dad, there was gas.

It was my gas.

It was my car.

All right, okay. Well, there was my delivery fee. There was my hanging out

the pizzeria fee.

And then, of course, there was my tip.

So, actually, Dad, the way I figure it, you owe me $1 .35.

Have you got any change, Elise?

I'm going to call Andy for dinner. Oh, wait a minute, honey. We ought to talk

you about something.

What did we do?

Oh, no, it's not you guys.

Something has really been bothering Andy lately.

I know what it is. What is it?

Gold. It dropped $14 in the London market today.

Maybe that's part of it.

There's got to be something else.

Egg futures. They're down, too.

There must be something else.

It's not like Andy. Something is wrong.

All we know is that he went to school this morning and then Skippy brought him

home. Oh, well, Mom, that's it right there. He spent time with Skippy.

I mean, after that, it takes three, four hours before the power of speech

returns.

I'll give Skippy a call. Maybe he knows something.

I'll call him anyway.

Maybe he just hasn't been himself.

I mean, he wouldn't talk to us, and then he just went upstairs to his room and

went to sleep.

I know what it is.

It's a rumor going around that if a Democrat gets into office, interest

are going to skyrocket.

You'd make a fine child psychologist, Alex.

Hello, Skippy. It's Mr. Keaton.

Yes,

from across the street.

Would you mind coming over here for a moment?

Fine. Goodbye. Andy, look what we've got here. Pizza.

Your favorite.

What kind do you want? You want sausage? You want mushroom?

I bet I can get him to say no.

Andy, how would you like some alfalfa sprouts and gluten on your pizza?

He's definitely not talking.

All right, all right, all right. Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, okay?

Watch this.

Andy, who's your favorite brother?

Definitely a problem here. All right.

Oh, I got it. I got it. I got it.

The phone.

Oh.

Hello?

Oh, just a minute. Andy, it's for you.

But, Andy, there's a call for you.

I'll take it.

No, it's not for you.

I'll take it anyway.

Hello? No, I'm sorry. This is her brother.

Yes, yes. We'll keep her here until you arrive with the net and the tranquilizer

gun.

Oh, no, Gippy.

Look, when you brought Andy home today, did anything happen that might have

upset him?

I don't think so.

Let's see. When I met him at school, he was busy on the jungle gym, so I played

with the blocks for a while.

If this yields any useful information, I'm transferring to Grant College.

Gippy, what happened after you left kindergarten?

I went to the first grade.

What do you mean today, Skippy?

Let's see. When we came home, Andy and Josh... Josh? Who is Josh?

That's Andy's friend.

His buddy for the day. And they came home together?

Yeah.

We had milk and cookies and colored and Andy drew a cat.

While Josh drew a goldfish.

Skippy.

Work with me on this.

What the heck are you doing with your hand?

It's sign language.

Josh taught me. He's deaf.

Oh.

Didn't I mention that?

No.

Then I probably also didn't mention that some of the kids in Andy's class, they

were teasing Josh.

Was Andy involved?

Yeah, he stood up for Josh. He seemed really upset about it.

Is there any more to the story? Is there anything else you want to say?

Yeah.

Is this pizza for everybody?

You know, this is a sign for want.

I want a car.

I want an ice cream.

Yes? Okay, so if you want Josh to pass something to you, this is a sign that

use. Does anybody have a special word that they'd like to know?

What about teacher?

Teacher, good.

Yes? How about recess?

Okay.

Good.

No, I don't mean the sign. I mean, how about recess?

In just a couple of minutes, Eugene.

All right, now, class, I think that we should thank Josh for teaching us these

signs, okay?

Thank you, Josh.

Good.

You're welcome.

Good, that's great. Okay, how about some free time?

Good. Do you feel like talking yet, Andy?

Well, after this period, we can go into my office and we can talk about you not

talking. But you probably not want to talk about it, but you can talk about it

if you want to talk about it.

We'll talk later.

Are you mad at me, Andy? Why aren't you talking to me? Because he's a dummy,

just like his friend.

Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you could come today. Josh's mother's coming, too, and

I figured that together we can figure out Andy's problem.

We hope so, too.

After we wrap that up, Alex asked us if we'd have a conference with you.

Something about a grade change?

Excuse me. Hi, Mrs. Richards.

Hi. Hi. Glad you could come.

Thanks. These are the Keatons. Hi. I'm Tom's mother.

Thank you. Hi. Very nice to meet you. Oh, excuse me. I think I see a tug -of

-war breaking out.

Mrs. Richards, I really appreciate you coming here this afternoon.

Oh, it's no problem. Look, I can't help but feel responsible for Andy not

talking. Oh, please don't. No, it's just that Andy's never had a friend before

who was, you know...

I think what Steven means is that Andy just has no experience playing with

someone who's deaf.

Yeah, thank you.

I don't know, for some reason it's difficult to talk about Josh being...

Andy stopped talking. Maybe I should, too.

Don't feel bad, Mr. Keaton. The word deaf is not an insult.

I'm sorry. I think we just... We're just afraid we're going to say the wrong

thing. It's okay. It happens all the time.

You know, that's what's so remarkable about Andy.

See, a lot of kids would be scared off by Josh.

And Andy's been a real friend.

You can be very proud of him. He's quite a boy.

There's something I'd like to show you. It's a painting that both Josh and Andy

drew. It's of the both of them.

I don't see why we need to learn sign language just because the

new kid can't hear.

I think sign language is fun.

I don't either. I don't think deaf kids should be allowed in a normal class.

Why don't you guys be quiet?

Why? He can't hear us. We can say anything we want.

But Andy can hear you and their friends.

See, he's getting really mad at you.

Big deal.

What you gonna do? Not yell at us?

Hey everybody, wanna see something funny?

Why don't you go home? You don't belong here.

Yeah, get out of here, stupid head.

There is no excuse for this. Now, what is going on?

Hey, how'd it go, buddy?

Andy.

Is someone talking?

Nope. Of all my siblings to give up talking, why did it have to be him?

You know, there was a time in my life when I didn't talk.

Really? I'm sorry I missed that, Skippy.

When exactly were you speechless?

From age zero to two. I think I could actually speak back then. There just

wasn't anything on my mind.

Oh, so basically nothing's changed.

I already know what we're going to do.

Well, obviously, Andy's not speaking out of sympathy for Josh, which is really a

very sweet and caring thing to do.

But how do we get him to speak without squelching his noble impulses?

Have you tried offering cash yet?

Oh, excuse me.

Mrs. Richards, come in. Hi, Josh.

How are you?

I'd like to meet our children. This is Mallory and Jennifer and Alex. The

skibby's not ours.

Um, where's Andy?

Oh, he's upstairs.

I'll go get him. Thanks.

Josh, I want to thank you for being such a good friend to Andy.

What did he say? He said you like money.

So Andy mentioned me to you.

Andy?

Andy, thank you very much for standing up for Josh today.

But we'd all like it very much if you would start to speak again.

Andy, you're my best friend.

Thank you for sticking up for me today.

But you don't have to.

It doesn't matter that I can't hear.

Please talk, Andy.

You're my best friend.

This is Richards.

You guys should have quite a young man there.

Watch the broad.

Up next on KSWB, get wacky with Jackie. Jackie Chan Adventures, just part of

Kids WB. And at 5, stay tuned for the magic of Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

There's a full afternoon right ahead on KSWB, San Diego's WB. Watch the frog.