Original subtitles

Did something go wrong at the psychology session?

I go to see this girl, this Lauren Miller girl, right? The one that's

the experiment on overachievers.

Anyway, things started out fine.

I said hello, you know, exchanged a few pleasantries. The next thing I know, we

get into this huge argument about money.

Yeah, in other words, the same thing that happens when you meet anybody.

Nobody has irritated me this much, this fast since the first time I met Alan.

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking I'm falling for this girl. There's no way. That's not true.

You actively dating?

That's an area of my life that's in a holding pattern.

I wish I could be as analytical about love as you overachievers, but I guess

could say that I'm in the hopeless romantic category.

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

You know, I had a terrific time talking to your family the other day. They

really seem to love you a lot.

You sure it was my family you were talking to?

They gave me a lot of great information.

And they told me about Ellen.

Oh, yeah.

Do you mind discussing her?

Because if you'd rather not... No, no, no. No problem. No, I'd love to talk

about Ellen.

What do you want to know?

Well, psychologically speaking, it's interesting that you used to be in a

relationship with a girl like Ellen.

I mean, considering that most overachievers look for other

out with.

I mean...

She was an artist, wasn't she?

Yeah, an artist.

Dancer, a poet.

We were complete opposites.

Why did you break up?

Oh, she got a dance scholarship in Paris.

Do you miss her?

Sure.

Yeah. I miss her in the way that you'd miss a close friend, you know?

I mean, Ellen taught me a lot.

She taught me how to appreciate art.

At least, not to laugh at it so much.

He taught me how to come out of my emotional shell, you know? Be more

more open, more caring.

Made me a better person.

Alex, what you just said was really beautiful.

I mean, it was almost poetic.

Well, that hardly seems possible.

Nothing rhymed.

It just doesn't add up. I mean, on the surface, you're this business -oriented,

money -minded, conservative guy.

Yet you fall for a girl like Ellen and express those kind of feelings.

You're definitely the most complex overachiever I know.

How many of us do you know?

Well, I've interviewed 12 people so far.

And I was going out with this guy who...

That I only qualified as an overachiever.

You and an overachiever?

That seems biologically impossible.

He was a graduate student in business management.

And you let him go?

I got a job offer from a big investment firm on Wall Street.

His own office and $50 ,000 a year to start.

What was that?

Well, you can't really blame the guy.

I don't blame him.

It was mutual. I got tired of interpreting his dreams.

They were always about BMWs.

So, you haven't seen anybody since then?

Alex, how come you're the one that always ends up asking me the questions?

I'll share my hundred bucks with you.

Seventy -five.

Don't be so hung up on money.

No, I haven't seen anybody since then.

I guess you could say I've been kind of wary about getting involved.

Right.

Have you seen anybody since Ellen?

No.

I guess you could say I've been pretty wary of myself.

I guess it's best that way. That way nobody gets hurt. Exactly.

Although sometimes if you take the chance of getting hurt,

You could be surprised.

That's true.

Look, Alex, I got some research I want you to comment on. What?

I mean, I had some research I wanted you to comment on. I got it. No, no, I got

it. No, you didn't get it. I didn't.

Lauren, look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to kiss you. I was helping

with the papers and your lips got in the way.

It's okay. This is really interesting stuff. You'll probably be able to put it

down.

Alex, I gotta go. Lauren, wait a minute.

Look, we were just getting good at that.

still must be at school.

High school's going to be a lot rougher than I thought. This algebra course is a

killer. Well, maybe we can help you, Jen. I think I better wait for Alex.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You're sitting here with two college graduates.

I'm sure we can handle it, right, Elise?

I think we should wait for Alex.

Go ahead. I'm listening.

There are two trains.

If the first train's destination is a thousand miles away and it travels at a

speed of 120 miles an hour for two hours, At what point will it pass a

coming from 700 miles away in the opposite direction traveling 90 miles an

making stops of 18, 12, and 10 minutes?

There are two trains, right?

I'll send Alex up when he gets home. Thanks.

Hey.

Alex, when you have a chance, Jen could use some help on an algebra problem?

Yeah, I'll go up in a minute. Can I talk to you guys?

Sure, what's up?

I did something incredible today, something I told myself I'd never do.

You helped a Democrat cross the street?

Of course.

You see, it happened during one of my research sessions with Lauren.

We were talking, you know, this, that, you know. And anyway,

one thing and another, you know. Well, what happened after you kissed her?

I fumbled out a little apology. I mean, it was a little kiss.

It was a little nothing.

And then she kissed me.

A big one.

She really tore the ligaments in my neck.

Alex, does Lauren know how you feel about her?

I don't know how I feel about her.

I mean, on one hand, I can't stop thinking about her.

And on the other hand, I'm just not ready for this kind of relationship

now.

Hey, what's going on?

Oh, we're having a private discussion, you know.

Great, what's it about?

Private, meaning I'd rather not discuss it with you.

Alex, why won't you share some of your emotional life with me?

After all, it's so little of it to go around.

Because, Mel, whenever I tell you something personal, it's instantly

up to some big gossip satellite in the sky, and it's beamed back down into the

otherwise empty heads of your rumor -mongering friends.

Alex, I won't tell a soul, I promise.

There's an outside possibility that I may have developed something other than

professional relationship with Lauren.

Oh, I've already spread that gossip.

How did you know?

Because you always wear that blue sweater when you want to impress a girl.

one with the monogrammed APK on it.

It's totally wrong for you, by the way. Makes you look like a big blue bath

towel.

That's the look I was going for.

Congratulations.

Anyway, this whole thing is complicated by the fact that Lauren has already been

through a bad experience with another guy.

Well, then that's perfectly understandable behavior coming off a

Alex, I think you should tell her how you feel. Be as open and honest as you

can. She's a psychology major. You can see why I do that.

We were just talking.

One thing led to another, and then he kissed me.

going to tell him how I feel about him. I don't even know how I feel about him.

All right, here he is.

I want everything to be completely businesslike.

Maybe you should go.

Hello?

Hello?

Come in.

We've got a lot of ground to cover today. Why don't we get started?

Fine, fine. I'm ready to work.

That's why I'm here.

Good.

Okay, last time we discussed your childhood and your scholastic career.

Today I'd like to discuss your future.

How do you picture your life ten years from now?

Well, I'll probably be a partner in a major New York banking firm, making a

quarter of a million dollars a year.

I'll have a condo in Manhattan, beach house in Long Island, house in between.

And a huge electrical fence to keep poor relatives out.

How about you out of use for yourself ten years from now?

Alex, this is how we get into trouble.

You start asking questions, you throw me off track.

The next thing you know, we're on the floor and you're kissing me.

While we're on this topic, let me just say that while I was kissing you, you

were kissing me. What happened at our last session was a very natural thing.

We were opening up emotionally to each other. Things got a little out of hand.

It happens all the time.

Lauren, if that happens all the time, you're going to be the most popular

psychologist in Ohio.

It's a very simple psychological phenomenon known as emotional

It's well documented in the literature. I'll show you.

Try looking under kiss.

Transference.

The psychological carryover of learned emotional responses from one behavioral

situation to another.

The kiss.

I would just like it noted, for the record, that we were kissing each other.

It's duly noted.

Thank you, Miss Miller. You're welcome, Mr. Kiss.

Well, now that we've gotten that cleared up, may we please continue?

Yes, ma 'am.

Okay, so far you've got a quarter million dollars and a huge fence.

Very full life.

Are you married?

Definitely, definitely.

And what's your wife like?

She's a warm, wonderful, caring woman.

She looks great in an evening gown.

She understands my needs. You know, my priorities are her priorities.

Where are you planning to meet her? At dog obedience school?

I can just imagine what your husband is going to be like.

And what's that supposed to mean?

Why, you probably have him strapped to a polygraph machine.

Makes sure all his feelings, all his emotions are real.

That's right.

I'd like to be with a man who's not afraid to express his feelings. What's

with that?

Absolutely nothing.

Why don't we give Phil Donahue a call?

Well, let's just hope for your sake.

that in ten years, Pat Nixon is available.

Oh, now you're making fun of Pat Nixon.

Is nothing sacred to you?

You know, I hope you can make that fence of yours real tall, Alex, because I

wouldn't want you to see any part of the real world by mistake.

You're telling me about the real world. A girl who holds up in a psych lab,

behind all her books and her reports, judging other people. Oh, good.

Things are finally getting out in the open here.

Yeah, one more thing. You know, I came here today thinking that maybe, By some

incredible chance, we might have something together.

What was I wrong?

You know, for your information, I was wondering the same thing. You know, I

thought you were different.

I must have been crazy. You're just like all the others.

All right, okay, here we are. Back to the first day. The big generalizations.

All of us overachievers are the same.

Well, aren't you? Look, every response is identical.

I want a quarter of a million dollars.

I want a beach house. I want a fence to keep my relatives out.

You know, the biggest... distinction is whether to get the Jaguar in black, red,

or racing green.

They come in racing green?

You know, I'll tell you this much.

The guy I fall for isn't going to plan his life out according to some graph.

And his wife isn't going to be a walking Barbie doll.

He's going to be overwhelmed with passion, devastated by emotion, and

by the intensity of his love.

And I was overwhelmed.

and devastated and exhausted.

I just freshened up before I came over here.

I don't know why I bothered.

You know, I really don't see any point in going on with these things. No,

great. Why don't you just send the check to my house? Of course.

You'll get your precious check.

Hey, Chester, don't ever evolve.

It's not worth it.

All right.

Hey.

Hey, where's everybody going?

Oh, we're taking Andy to see Snow White.

Snow White.

That was a gal.

What's the matter with you, Alex? You don't look too great.

Things didn't work out between me and Lauren.

Alex, I'm so sorry.

You must have worn the blue sweater.

I appreciate your concern, Mel.

This isn't a fashion issue.

You want to go to the movie with us, Alex?

The popcorn's on me.

Come on along, Alex.

Indulge your Snow White fantasy.

Yeah, Alex, you can pretend to be the eighth dwarf.

Greedy.

Thanks anyway, guys. I'm not really in the mood for a fairy tale right now.

Anyway, they're replaying President Reagan's news conference from this

afternoon. I thought you said you weren't in the mood for a fairy tale.

Ah, just kidding.

Okay, we'll see you later. Bye.

Mom.

I say you're going.

Well, to tell you the truth, I'm a little fed up with Snow White.

I mean, she's just so passive.

You know, lying around waiting for some prince to come and give her a kiss.

What kind of role model is that for women today?

I mean, she should go to school, get a degree, start a business, and hire a

prince.

Then she could kiss him whenever she wants.

Hell down.

I can't imagine what's going to happen when they re -release Bambi.

I'm all right. I'm fine.

How are you doing?

What do you mean about Warren?

I don't know.

I figured it was meant to be.

It would have happened by now.

I've known you a long time now.

That doesn't mean I fully understand you.

Doesn't mean I even have a clue.

But I do know one thing. You are not the kind of person who sits around and

mopes and casually takes defeat.

I'm trying to look at it philosophically, you know?

I mean, it's part of growing up.

It's part of the maturing process.

You really seem to have a passion for this girl, Lauren.

If I were you, I'd get the hell over there.

Thanks, Mom.

Tell Lauren your mommy sent you.

Alex. Hi.

Hi. You busy?

No, come on in.

Thanks.

This is the surprise.

Yeah, well, my mommy...

So,

this is your place, huh?

Yeah.

Nice.

It's very nice.

Thank you.

Look, Lauren, I don't want to take up too much of your time, okay? I just came

over to say something, and I'm going to say it.

What is it, Alex?

Lauren... Yes, Alex?

Do you have the correct address to send my check to?

Yeah, I've got your check.

Well,

thanks.

You get that?

That's it?

Yeah, I guess so.

I mean, I got what it came for, so... Yeah.

Well, I'll see you.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll see you.

Look, Lauren, this check is not what I came here for.

What's the matter? You wanted cash?

No, look, I was just thinking about what you said to me, about how I plot out

every aspect of my life and the way all I think about is money.

Alex, I was upset when I said that.

No, no, you were right.

See, after Ellen and I broke up, I just told myself I wasn't going to get

involved in any other relationships.

And I'd just concentrate on school and on career and on making money. And I

thought I'd be happy.

And then I met you.

And those things just don't seem like enough anymore.

They don't? I mean, don't get me wrong. I mean, I love money.

But you can't come home at night and cuddle up with money.

You know, you can't sit down and pour your feelings out to money.

Can't take a romantic moonlight walk in the beach with money.

God knows I've tried.

Alex, what are you saying?

Lauren, you know how you have an image of yourself in your mind?

You know, and that image is of being the best, you know, being the cleverest,

the happiest person that you can be.

Uh -huh.

Well, I just feel like when I'm with you, I can be that person.

I make you feel that way?

Well, I can't stop thinking about you.

I want to be with you.

I want to hold you.

I want to open a joint bank account with you.

I can't believe it.

It's true.

Lauren, I think I'm falling in love with you.

Well, that I can believe. It's the part about the joint bank account.

Alex, you know when you said that I was hiding in my psych lab just making

judgments on people?

You were right.

I have been hiding because I was scared of getting hurt.

And since you started coming in, I felt incredibly alive.

Also annoyed, bothered, and frustrated, but mostly alive.

Alive is good.

Those are good signs.

But, Alex, you know, maybe we shouldn't go so fast, though.

You know, we should probably discuss and try to place in some perspective our...

What bank do you want to start the account in?

I've always been partial to First Federal.

I was hoping you didn't come by here just to pick up your jacket.

Jacket? I couldn't care less about that jacket.

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Sit.

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