All language subtitles for Family Ties s05e22 My Name Is Alex 1

I bet we've been together for a million
years.

And I bet we'll be together for a
million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the
night we kissed.

And I can't remember what I ever did
before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do?

Mom,

Dad, and Alex and Mallory will be back
from the funeral real soon.

And after we finish our cocoa, you and I
are going to play jack.

And then we're going to play poker.

And if they're not back by then...

You and I are going to Mexico.

What's a funeral?

Well, a funeral is where you go to show
respect for someone who died. Who died?

Greg, Alex's friend.

I would like to meet him.

That's going to be tough.

You see, when someone dies, you never
see them again.

Why? Because they're dead. They're gone.

Why? Because their life's over. That's
all.

But why?

Because.

Where do babies come from?

Hi, kids.

We didn't come back. We were going to go
to Mexico.

It was a long afternoon.

Come on, Andy. We'll go look at travel
brochures.

You all right?

It's just crazy.

So hard to accept.

I was only 21.

I tried talking to his mother, but all I
could say was, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

What else can you say? People are in
shock.

Look at Alex.

Everyone has their own personal way of
grieving.

Was that a funeral or what?

I mean, people showed up. I like that.

All the guys are there showing their
respect, and showing respect for the

is very important.

Because the dad had an image problem.

Don't you think, Mom?

I've always felt that.

Honey, I think you should go upstairs
and lie down. Get some rest. No, Mom, I

don't want to lie down. I'm fine.

I'm fine. Hey, I'm a lucky guy.

Real lucky.

I was supposed to be in that car with
Greg.

But I wasn't.

He said, Alex, come with me.

Have to help my brother move a piano.
Short time, 15 minutes out of your life.

What do I say?

No way, Greg.

I'm busy now.

And why?

Because I didn't want to be bothered.

Because I'm selfish.

Do you believe that selfishness saved my
life?

I knew it would come in handy.

Honey, I really think you should lie
down. You need it. Mom, mom, mom, mommy.

Mommy, I don't want to lie down now,
okay? I want to stay up. I want to keep

moving. Okay.

How about my eulogy?

Huh? Was that great?

What's up with that working on that?

How would you rate that? Great?

Incredible? Unbelievably touching? What?

I didn't feel it was necessary to
mention his net worth.

Are you kidding me, Dad? People love
that.

Maybe so. But I thought you could have
stopped there. No need to get into

projected earnings.

I agree with Dad. It was really gauche.

Yeah, well, I didn't find your comments
particularly apropos either, Mal.

Me, not apropos?

He's lying there in the coffin.

You don't have to say a tie didn't go
with his suit.

Well, they didn't, Alex.

Please, brown and gray?

I want to be caught dead in those
colors.

Maybe our time would be better spent
remembering what a special young man

was.

Yeah. Yeah, I like you thinking, Mommy.

Why don't you kick it off?

I remember when Andy was born, Greg gave
me a Bible.

And he said, Mrs. Keaton, I know that
you're not a particularly religious

person. But if this turns out to be
another Alex, you're going to need it.

What a guy, that Gregor. What a sports
nut. I don't think anybody loved the

Indians as much as Greg did.

I don't think I ever saw him without his
Indians cap on.

Yeah, they should have buried him in it.

I wouldn't have gone with the suit.

What's the difference?

The tie already ruined the suit.

And that ends the remembering portion of
our program.

Why don't we just go upstairs and get
changed?

Greg?

Greg?

What are you doing here?

And you're alive. That's no reason we
can't be friends.

I'm not saying we can double date
anymore, but... Gregor is back!

Hey!

How you doing?

It's a new dance I'm working on.

The Keaton Samba.

Come on, try it, everybody.

Alex, why don't you come on up?

Oh, I can't, Dad. I'm not finished with
the dance. I'm making a real

breakthrough with it.

I just, I don't know whether to end it
with a dip or a twist.

Alex, you've experienced a great loss
here.

You can't expect to answer all the
questions or expect pain to go away in

night.

Don't rush yourself through this. Time
is what you need.

Right. Thanks, Dad.

Thanks.

Come on, Alex. You promised. I have to
help my brother move a piano. No way,

Greg. I'm busy.

It's a short drive. Fifteen minutes out
of your life. No, Gregor.

No. No, I'm sorry.

I'm not going.

Now, you are one hour and forty -seven
minutes late, and I have a schedule to

keep. There are women in need of my
attention lined up all over this city.

Who are you kidding, Alex? You haven't
had a date in three months.

You imagine what that's doing to these
women?

We could have a riot on our hands.

You told me you'd help, and I promised
my brother you'd be there.

No, Greg, I'm sorry.

Busy man here, okay?

Next time, be on time.

Fine.

I keep asking myself, is there a better
way?

Is there another way to pass through
this existence?

And I've always admired people who had
religion in their lives. You know, it

always seemed to bring such comfort to
them.

Brother Timothy, I've lost a very close
friend.

I mean, one moment he was here, and then
he was gone, and I feel so lost.

Mm -hmm.

And I find myself questioning
everything. I mean, who am I? Why am I

are you here?

Well, I'm here because you called me on
the telephone.

Well, that clears that one up.

I want to help you, Alex.

How can I help?

Brother Timothy, I've given this quite a
lot of thought, and I'm quite...

when I say I think I want to be a monk.

Mm -hmm.

There is, however, one question I must
ask.

No girls. That was it.

Okay. Now, when you say no girls, does
that mean, you know, not even on

weekends?

Not even on Valentine's Day.

All right, but what if you were wrong? I
mean, what if you weren't meant to be a

monk? I mean, you are giving up a
tremendous thing with these girls here.

Do you have anything else on your mind?

I'm sorry.

Forgive me. Okay, it's no girl rule.
It's a toughie for me.

Hi, Alex.

Who's the monk?

Brother Timothy, I'd like you to meet
Erwin Handelman, my neighbor.

How do you do, Erwin?

Oh, fine. Thank you, sir.

So... What brings a monk like you into
this neck of the woods?

Well, Alex has been questioning me about
the practical and philosophical aspects

of the monastic life.

Mm -hmm.

And what did you say?

Well, Erwin, I've been explaining to
Alex that a monk must take sacred vows

obedience, poverty, and chastity. So you
mean, do what you're told, always be

broke, and never have a date?

Mm -hmm.

I may already be a monk, and not know
it.

That's my parents.

They're not going to really understand
this, so I was wondering, would you

consider leaving?

Mm -hmm.

Oh, hi, Mom, Dad. Hi.

This is Brother Timothy.

Hello. Is that your donkey out there?

He's here to talk to Alex about being a
monk.

Are you thinking of becoming a monk,
Alex? I'm, uh, toying with it, Mom.

I wouldn't concern myself too much, Mrs.
Keaton.

I really can't picture Alex in a
monastery, denouncing all his worldly

possessions, taking a vow of poverty,
getting up every morning at dawn and

scrubbing floors all day, dressed in
sandals and a robe.

I say, let him give it a shot.

As though it's not enough to lose one of
my dearest friends, let me pour juice

all over myself.

Nice going, Alex.

Gregor. Hi.

Gregor!

I hope you don't mind me dropping by.

Oh, no.

No, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad
you're here, but this is a little

My parents heard me talking to you
earlier, and they think I'm going to go.

So I wonder if I brought them down here,
would you say hi?

Sure. Hi and maybe boo?

Greg, Greg, Greg.

There's a lot I have to say to you,
okay? There's a lot of stuff I want to

to you about.

I know, Alan.

But a dead guy walks into your kitchen,
you don't offer him something to eat? I

mean, a peanut butter sandwich or
something? Oh, I'm sorry.

I wasn't thinking. I don't know the
etiquette in these things.

You're the only guy I know.

who's dead, and comes to visit me.

Hey, economic final, huh? I almost
forgot about that.

You got to admit, I got a fabulous
excuse for missing that one.

You don't even need a note.

Hey, I'll come back another time. I know
how important your grades are to you.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. What, are you
kidding me? What, are you kidding me?

more important to me than this.

I don't even know why I'm bothering.
This is meaningless.

I don't care.

I don't care. I was lazy.

I didn't want to go. Alex, stop it. Let
me finish.

No one's stopping you, Alex.

Hi, Mel.

You just in here talking to yourself?

No.

No, I wasn't talking to myself.

I was talking to Greg.

Oh, that's better.

I was supposed to be in that car with
him, Mel.

Yeah, but you weren't. No, I wasn't. I
wasn't. I wasn't. You know why?

Because I was lazy.

Because I was small.

Because I couldn't be bothered.

My life was saved out of smallness.

Out of lack of generosity to a friend.

I just don't get it, Mal. Why am I still
alive?

You're still alive to aggravate me.

No. No, that's no answer.

I'm just joking, Alex. No, I should have
been with Greg.

I should have been sitting right next to
him. I don't want answers, okay?

Because I can't go on like this.

Why am I alive?

Why am I alive?

Why am I alive?

Honey. Why am I alive?

We're going to help you, honey.

That's right, Alex.

We're going to help you. Alex, we're
going to help.

My name is Alex Keaton.

I'm 21 years old.

I'm a junior at Leland University. I'm
majoring in economics.

Actually, it's a double major, economics
and business.

Actually, I'm majoring in money.

Anything to do with money.

It's been a passion of mine ever since I
was a kid.

Let's talk about your childhood a
little.

Yeah, normal childhood.

I did the things that all kids do.

Like to color, like to finger paint,
play the stock market.

Usual things.

You liked money even then?

Love at first sight.

When I was in nursery school, they used
to blindfold me and drop coins into

a piggy bank.

I can identify the different coins by
the sound.

Deep bass of a quarter.

Plunk.

Lilt of a dime.

Plink.

Sweet squish of a dollar bill.

Swish.

Two dimes, a quarter, and three pennies.

You're very good.

Thank you.

Your mother says you're not sleeping
well. You're not eating.

You're troubled by visions, for want of
a better word.

That's not exactly true.

Yes, it is, Alex.

You don't sleep at all.

You're a seven -year -old boy. You need
your rest.

How much sleep did you get last night?

Last night?

20 minutes.

But they were 20 quality minutes, Alex.

Well, last night was special.

I was going over the transcripts.

I found a fly in John Dean's testimony.

This has got to stop, Alex. Our phone
bill to the White House has gotten out

hand.

Well, can I please stay home and watch
the hearings on TV?

No.

Oh, please, Mommy. Don't make me go back
to that classroom. It's a travesty.

The country is falling apart, and these
kids are sitting there waiting to tell

time. You're going to go to school,
Alex, and I don't want a repeat of what

happened yesterday.

Oh, Mommy, my president is being
impeached.

How can you expect me to continue living
the life of a normal second grader?

I'm waiting for you to begin living the
life of a normal second grader.

Walk to school today, Alex?

Okay, Skippy, if you want to.

But Skippy didn't stay up all night
worrying about Watergate.

Huh?

How much sleep did you get last night?

19 hours.

You see?

19 hours?

I came home for lunch yesterday and took
a nap. I just woke up a few minutes

ago.

Mommy, I'm going to skip breakfast,
okay? I want to get to school.

It's almost ready.

I can't, Mom. I've got the Cub Scout
meeting and I've got the Kitty Chamber

Commerce lunch.

Alex, don't go. Mom.

Don't go.

Don't go. Don't go, Greg. Don't go.

I could have stopped him. I could
have... I should have told him.

But we had a fight.

Stupid. Fight, damn it.

Now he's dead.

He's dead, and there's nothing that
anyone can do about it.

Where were we? You were talking about
the problems with your mother. I

call them problems, necessarily.

Sorry.

She's a mother.

That's what mothers do. They worry,
right?

I don't know.

All right, look. If you're going to take
that attitude, we might as well stop

talking right now, okay?

What attitude?

You know what attitude.

I'm going to sit here.

I'm going to do all the talking.

I'm going to pour my guts out.

And you're just going to sit back there
silently and be God, huh?

Pretend you don't know anything.

Wait a minute. You went to Grant
College?

That's right.

Maybe you weren't pretending.

Maybe you really don't know anything.

How do you know Grant College?

My sister Mallory goes there.

Let's talk about Mallory.

Yeah, okay.

How do you feel about her?

I like her.

I like her a lot.

Thank you, Alex.

That's sweet.

Well, you knew that, didn't you, Mel?

Well, it's nice to hear.

I love you.

I love you very much.

Hey, what are you doing?

I'm getting dressed.

I have a date.

Oh, yeah? With who?

Greg.

What are you talking about? Greg's dad.

Nobody ever dies, Alex. Don't be silly.

Greg's coming back in another life. We
all are.

Nobody ever dies?

No.

Boy, I wish I could believe that.

Wouldn't that be great if that were
true?

It is true, Alex.

You just have to accept it. You just
have to believe.

Read Shirley MacLaine.

Multiple lives.

I could come back as me.

I could fix the things that went wrong
this time.

I could warn Nixon about the tapes.

You see, Alex, each time around, you
work on whatever problems you didn't

in your previous life.

Say you're a bad dresser in a former
life.

You could come back as a designer.

God, Mel, it must be so easy being you.

It must be so simple.

Is it hard to be you, Alex?

Hey, hey, do you mind? Okay, I'm talking
to my sister.

Tell me more, Mel. Tell me more.

What's heaven like?

No matter what you eat, you can't gain
weight.

Answer the question, Alex. Is it hard to
be you? You know the answer.

Of course it's hard.

They have these great stores there,
Alex. They open at 9 in the morning and

open until infinity.

And Alex, Alex one size fits all.

Why is it so hard to be you?

You know.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.