All language subtitles for Family Ties s05e21 Keaton Vs. Keaton

I bet we've been together for a million
years.

And I bet we'll be together for a
million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the
night we kissed.

And I can't remember what I ever did
before.

What would we do, baby, without a...

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love
each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

What color should I make the hair, Uncle
Nick?

Any color, Andy.

It's the green and purple are good
colors for hair.

Yeah, they're fabulous.

No, no, no, no. Andy, Andy, Andy, you
don't want to talk to someone with

hair. Why not?

Because normal people do not have purple
hair. Aside from your family, everybody

I know has got purple hair.

I repeat, normal people do not have
purple hair.

What does that got to do with anything
anyway?

You know, an artist sees colors that
nobody else can see.

That's right. Everybody gives off a
different color.

They're called auras.

And they represent the spirit of that
person.

Is that so?

I mean, Nick, for instance, is a fiery
red.

And Andy is a bright, brilliant blue.

And you're... You're sort of... You
don't have a color, Alex.

This is a simple Republican hero's
coloring book.

Now, the only colors that should be used
for hair in this book are brown, black,

red, blonde, and bald.

All right, Andy, humor.

Make the hair blonde.

Put it in a mohawk.

No, no, no. No, wait a minute. Wait a
minute. You are not giving Ronald Reagan

mohawk.

You're right. He's in enough trouble.

Okay, time for bed.

All right, hey, come on, I'll take care
of that. All right, I'll be up in a

couple minutes to make sure your pajamas
match. Kiss.

Thank you.

Bye.

Good night, Mallory. Good night, Ann.

These nights Mom and Dad go out are
tough.

I think it's sweet.

It's nice for them to get out.

You know, once a week meeting downtown
for dinner or a movie, just the two of

them. The kind of thing that keeps them
so close.

you're not entitled to an opinion.

I'm just saying that I have to question
the depth of anyone who doesn't like

that movie.

That's all.

I see.

What movie did you go to?

Out of Africa.

And you liked it, Mom?

Oh, oh, it was beautiful.

I laughed.

I cried. I was transported to another
time and place.

Dad?

Remember Uncle Eddie's slides of his
trip to Africa?

Same thing.

Except instead of Uncle Eddie and Aunt
Rhoda, this had Robert Redford and Meryl

Streep.

I'm so sick of you putting down Meryl
Streep.

I'm so sick of you putting down Aunt
Rhoda.

Okay, look, before this gets entirely
out of hand, let's not forget the films

that we have both loved over the years.
Good idea.

Gone with the Wind.

Annie Hall.

It's a wonderful life. Adam's rib.

It happened one night.

Casablanca.

E .T.

Phone home.

Phone home.

Well, they seem happy.

Oh, kids, kids, kids. I almost forgot.
I've got big news for you. Well, what is

it, Dad?

The station has decided to award a
scholarship in independent study in any

field. Now, the competition's open only
to children of WKS employees.

How much money will I win?

The actual award is $2 ,500, but there's
no guarantee you'll win.

We expect to have over 100 applicants.

Could I get that in one lump sum, or can
I have some of it deferred to the end

of the fiscal year?

Why don't you just have your business
manager give us a call?

I have one here for you, too, Mal.

Huh? Now, you're eligible.

You're 19. You're in college.

Yeah, go ahead.

Apply.

Thanks, Alex.

No, I'm serious, Mel. Apply, apply.

There's nothing in here that says you
have to be going to a real college.

Alex, don't worry. I have no intention
of applying for this silly little

scholarship. Oh, why not, Mel? It's open
to everyone.

Now, it's not just for academic
achievement.

Artists, musicians, anyone? Well, thanks
anyway, Dad. I wonder if I can have

this deposited directly into my Swift
account.

Alex, I am not writing a letter of
recommendation for you. Come on. Look, I

a recommendation from someone other than
my parents who knows me and likes me.

I see your problem.

What's it for, anyway? Something where
if you win, you leave home, I hope.

Scholarship from your father's station.

Now, will you write it, please? What do
you want me to say?

Oh, I don't know. Just the usual stuff.
You know, bright, elegant, brilliant,

charming. I got a form letter upstairs.
You can follow that.

This is interesting. Look what he has
down for career goal.

World domination.

That's our boy.

It says it's open to all WKS employees'
children. Is Mallory applying?

No, and she just doesn't seem interested
either.

Hi.

Mallory, I can't believe you're not
going to apply for this scholarship. It

seems right up your alley.

Jen, what would be the point? I can't
compete with Alex.

Why not?

You're just as good in fashion as he is
in money hoarding or whatever it is he

does.

I saved the other application upstairs
in my bureau.

I'll get it.

Jen,

I don't think it's such a good idea if I
enter.

I don't want to pressure you into
anything, but I've just seen you come so

this year. You know, you've just grown
so much.

Why don't you take a chance, you know?
Just take a risk.

this is crazy i'm not gonna win mom i'm
not good at these kinds of competitions

it's easy to sit on the sidelines and
not take a chance you know you're you're

safe there you won't get hurt but if you
do that you'll never know how good you

can be you know i do have this idea for
a line of clothing for women in the

business world sounds interesting

Oh, I don't know. Mom, Alex will laugh
at me. He's not going to laugh at you.

will respect you for taking a chance.

Alex, um, guess what? I'm thinking of
applying for the WKS scholarship.

Hey, Mom, where's Mel?

She's upstairs working on her fashion
project.

She's really going through with this
thing, huh?

She is.

And it took a lot of courage for her to
enter this competition, too. You know, I

think she deserves our support.

She is your sister.

Yeah, well, that may be true from a
straight genetic point of view, but...

had to put a lid on all the warm,
brotherly feelings that would otherwise

through. Must be quite a struggle for
you.

Now we're in a competition.

The moment she entered this, she ceased
to be my sister and became my rival.

We are technically at war.

So really, nothing's changed.

Hi, Alex.

Hey, Mel.

Excuse me, Mel.

I am working on my project here. We are
in competition.

Don't think it's right for you to be
snooping around.

Jen, come over here and look at these
things. I can't believe how great my

designs are coming out. Let me see.

I mean, look at this sleeve.

Ooh.

Which do you like better, this or this?

Oh, definitely this one. Okay, great.
Step up here, and I'll show you what

going to look like.

You know, Mallory, as we speak, the
other applicants are working on their

projects. They're computer science
students creating software.

Biology students discovering enzymes.

Brilliant economics wizards completely
restructuring this country's monetary

system. Do you really expect to triumph
over that kind of competition simply

by... Draping a blanket over Jennifer?

Nobody asked you, Alex.

I? Okay. Hey, Mel. Sorry. Just trying to
brace you for the huge and inevitable

disappointment that's coming your way.

Let me tell you something, Alex.

For 19 years, I've watched you win
everything with no hope of even

with you.

It'd be very easy for me to say, forget
it, Mallory, you'll always be second

rate. I refuse to do that.

I've decided that no matter what you
say, I'm going to keep trying.

Because if I don't, I may as well just
roll over and play dead.

Good going, Alex.

I hope you're real proud of yourself.

You just made Mallory feel completely
worthless.

I don't even want to be in the same room
with you.

Could you unpin me, please?

Okay, Alice, we better get going. The
interview starts in half an hour. Yeah,

all right, Dad. Going over some last
-minute notes here.

Thank you. Thank you.

You are too kind.

Please stop.

All right, all right.

I'll just put these in the U -Haul with
your other books and charts.

Okay. Do you get that box of 3 -D
glasses?

Right here.

Well, hey, Mel.

All that stuff for your presentation?

Uh, yeah.

You want some help?

No, thanks.

You sure?

Yes, I can handle it perfectly well.

All my help.

Okay, look.

It's fine, Alex. Everything's under
control.

Did you make this?

Yes. If I were a woman and...

Had a better figure.

I'd be clamoring after this.

Try to design a line of clothing for the
working woman.

Because women have a hard time being
taken seriously in the business world.

Women not being taken seriously. God
knows why.

So, I designed a line of clothing that a
woman can wear in the man's world

without hiding the fact that she's a
woman.

Great. You, uh...

You saw demand in the market and you set
out to fill it. That is good business.

Hey, these sketches aren't bad either.

Attractive, professional.

Thanks, Alex.

Although you could have shown a little
more leg on this one.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. These are
great.

Thanks.

I'm sure your presentation is really
great, too. Oh, yeah, it is. You want to

hear it?

No.

Good luck, Alex.

Yeah.

Good luck to you, Mel.

I just popped in to see if you had your
interview yet.

I'm sure you'll do great.

Where's Alice?

Well,

stop by my office when you're done and
you can tell me all about it.

Good luck. Thank you.

Bravo! Bravo!

Bravo! You're too kind.

Please stop.

Your presentation was amazing, Alex. And
the effects were incredible. When that

dollar bill started spinning out towards
me, I jumped out of my seat.

Mallory? What?

We're ready for you now.

Hey. Well, Mel, you're next.

Oh, hey, Mel.

Knock him dead.

Thanks.

Mallory, we all found your application
very interesting.

Thank you.

And we're looking forward to your oral
presentation.

You may begin.

Well, a lot of people think fashion is
silly, but it's not. It reflects social

values and, more importantly, sometimes
determines them.

How so?

Well, in the business world, the
traditional man's dark suit

with... Sorry, personally, I find it a
little boring.

Keeps it a male -dominated world because
in order for a woman to fit in, she has

to pretend she's a man and dress like
one.

Here, here.

And I also think if people dress more
comfortably, they could improve their

efficiency. So I've designed a line of
clothing for the working woman.

comfortable, authoritative, and yet
still feminine.

If you refer to my chart on
demographics...

And so, as you can see, this color does
much more for

her complexion and mood.

Not that it's better than what you're
wearing already.

No, it's much better.

Mrs. Simpson, don't you just feel great
in this fabric? Oh, yes.

See? That's what I've been talking
about. Fashion really does make a

Wonderful.

Wonderful.

No, not at all.

So, what's the good word? Your sister
gave a splendid interview, Alex.

Oh, really? Really? Great. Good.

Hey, that is a nice color on you.

Isn't it, though?

Your sister suggested it.

I guess that.

She's wonderful.

She's still in there chatting with some
of the panel. Oh, yeah.

So, how many applicants do you have left
to interview?

None. You two were the last ones.

So you'll be awarding that scholarship
pretty soon, huh?

Well, we haven't voted officially yet.
Yeah, but you know, right?

Well... Come on, Mr. Worth.

Honestly, Alex, you're like a kid on
Christmas Eve. No, I know, I know, I

But look, I'm going to find out later on
today anyway, right?

I suppose that's true.

Congratulations, Alex. You won the WKS
scholarship.

Yes!

Thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Woods. Thank you. You
deserve it.

Just remember to look surprised when you
find out.

Oh, hey, Mr. Woods.

Just out of curiosity, how did Mallory
finish in the running? She was our

choice, right after you.

Oh.

Well, those are the breaks, right?

Well, I'd better be getting back in.

Congratulations. Thank you.

No, no, no. Just one.

I think it's great for evening and for
work. Anything.

You are so talented.

You are. You have lots of good ideas.

All right. I'll be back later.

Oh, Alex. Alex. It was great. I mean, I
did really well in there. I answered all

their questions, right? They were really
impressed with my presentation.

I think I was, too.

I think I really got a shot at winning
the scholarship.

Oh, now it's terrific.

That's terrific.

I'm so excited I could burst. I gotta go
tell Dad. I'll be right back.

I thought she was just wonderful.

Uh, Mr. Warren?

With all due respect, sir, I'm
withdrawing from the competition.

But that means... Yeah.

Yeah, I know what it means.

do that if I were you?

Why not?

It's not your man.

Go, Alex.

Alex, how'd your interview go?

Oh, fine, fine.

Where's Mallory?

Well, she got home about an hour ago.
Where have you been?

I was out walking.

Do you think you won?

I don't know. Hard to tell.

It's just another scholarship.

Why is winning always so important to
you people?

Here it is. It says WKS right on the
envelope.

Open it up, baby. I'm afraid you open
it. Oh, man.

Oh, no.

Okay.

Oh, my God!

Oh,

my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my
God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh,
my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh,

my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my
God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh,
my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my

God! Oh, my

Thanks, Alex.

Look, Lisa, I think we have some
champagne in the basement. Why don't we

it? Okay.

Come on, guys. Come on.

Well... This is the moment you've been
waiting for.

Let me have it.

Oh, come on, man.

Don't hold back.

Let's see some gloating.

You know, I've waited all my life for
this moment.

I imagine it so many different ways.

That day far in the future when I'm in
the spotlight and you're in the shadow.

I always thought this moment would
somehow occur in New York.

You'd be waiting for me at some small
cafe and...

I'd come running in breathless and I'd
say, look, Alex, my designs are on the

cover of Vogue.

And you'd smile, stammer out
congratulations.

But I'd know that underneath that
toupee...

You were

green with envy and completely bald.

We'd engage in some small talk.

exchange some pleasantries, and you try
to interest me in some shoddy land deal.

I'd politely decline, say, no, I have to
hit up town.

Business, you know.

And I'd turn to sign someone's
autograph, right? And I'd see someone

you and say, aren't you Mallory Keaton's
brother?

You must be so proud.

So I'd come back, and I'd...

You know, shove a few bucks in your
pocket.

And I'd ruffle my fingers through your
hair and say goodbye.

Only after I'm halfway uptown do I
realize that I've got your toupee in my

purse.

That's quite a rich fantasy life you got
there.

And you're entitled to the cover of
Vogue, but, uh...

Why do I have to be bald?

You know, now that I'm here, now that
I've won, I don't feel like gloating.

I mean, I'm excited for me, but I feel
bad for you.

I know how much these things mean to
you.

I'm sorry you lost.

Thanks, Mel.

But don't feel bad for me.

Okay. Because I'm happy.

I'm happy for you.

You know, and maybe this could be the
start of a new Mallory Keaton.

One who pushes herself.

One who strives. One who reaches for the
brass ring and gets it.

And when they ask me how I would feel to
be Mallory Keaton's brother, I'm going

to say damn proud.

Thanks, Alex.

Whoa, easy.

Celebrations in the dining room, Alex.
You coming in? Yeah, in a second, Dad.

Terrific about Mallory, isn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah, it sure is.

She really seems excited.

You know, I always knew she had it in
her.

She sure did.

Mr. Wirth told me what you did.

Well, I don't know what you're talking
about.

You stepped down so Mallory could win.

Oh, that.

Oh, yeah.

It's no big deal.

It was a wonderful thing that you did.

You acted in an incredibly...

compassionate and generous fashion.

You didn't think of yourself at all.

Well, I figure in life you should try
everything once.

Hey, thanks, Dad. You gave her a great
gift.

Dad?

Can I borrow 2 ,500 bucks?

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.