Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years And I bet we'll be

together for a million more Oh, it's like I started breathing

on the night we kissed And I can't remember what I ever

did before What would we do, baby, without her?

What would we do?

Baby, without us.

And there ain't no nothing. We can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

The prince took Cinderella to be his bride, and they lived happily ever after

the prince's castle.

Wasn't that a nice story?

Alex says the prints are silly.

Why? Cinderella had no money.

Well, Alex says a lot of things that don't make sense.

Remember what I told you to do when Alex starts to talk?

Good boy.

Oh, Lisa, what do you think looks better with what I'm wearing?

This or this?

I think I have to see them on.

Dad, please be careful with that. I'm using that for a fashion project for my

sales and marketing class.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mel. I found them in my closet, so I just assumed they were

I need extra closet space for this project, and I figured yours was a

choice, so I hope you don't mind if I move some of your stuff around.

Why me?

Well, it wouldn't be fair to use Mom or Jim's closet because they're girls,

and... And he's still in his formative wardrobe years.

Alex charges too much rent for his closet.

And, well, that left you. And, well, you're the perfect choice because it

doesn't matter. I mean, you don't really need to look good. You know, you've

reached that age.

What about your closet, Mallory? My closet, Dad?

Oh, come on, Elise. We always say we should support Mallory in school. This

school project, and it's really just a minor inconvenience.

Anyway, it'll be good for me to experience new closets.

Hey, Mom.

Sorry I missed dinner. My committee meeting ran late.

What committee was that? Students for Weapons and Space?

No, it's the Entertainment Committee for Homecoming Week, and this whole thing

is unraveling. What's the matter?

Well, we got a lot of good activities planned. We got bobbing for money.

You get to guess your classmates' income booth.

Something for everyone.

Yeah. But the band we booked backed out at the last minute, so now we're

scrambling. Hey, does anybody remember the group that sang at Andy's birthday

party? Humpty and the Dumpties?

At least we have to go. We're going to be late. Oh, yeah.

See you later.

Really looking for a band, huh?

Yeah. You got any suggestions?

Well, what about the band I'm in now, the Permanent Waves?

Yeah. No.

No, thanks.

Come on, Alex. Why not?

Look, Jen, I'm sure it falls in the fine tradition of the other absurd musical

groups you've been involved with. Keaton and the Kazoos.

The new Keaton Minstrels.

Keaton and Garfunkel.

Permanent Waves are different, Alex.

Yeah, I'll bet.

Come on, Alex, what do you have to lose? If you don't like us, don't use us.

That simple.

All right, Jane, even if I do let you audition, you're going to be treated

everybody else.

I mean, being my sister is going to be of absolutely no advantage to you.

Oh, and what a plus it's been so far.

Hey, hey, hey, let's hear it for Mitch Diacus and the Polka Boys. Good job,

guys.

Great, thanks a lot. Hey, we got our band.

Thanks a lot, everybody.

Wait a minute, Alex.

We've been waiting all day.

All right, all right, all right. Just make it quick, okay? Come on.

I'll kick this door. I'm sorry, I promise.

Oh, hey, hey, Skippy, what are you doing here? Well, I'm with the band.

Well, what instrument do you play?

i don't play an instrument i have a more important role than that i'm the band's

advisor skippy if you don't get that thing up here you're fired there you are

Thank you.

admit they got talent. I mean, take it easy, they're not the Pokeboys.

What, are you kidding?

Come on, they're just what we need. They're great.

So, Alex, what'd you think?

Oh, uh, well, you know, you're raw, you're green, but, uh, but there was a

glimmer of something under there. I mean, you got talent.

You really think so?

Uh, yeah, Jack, I think that with the proper guidance, career management,

promotion... Please don't, Alex.

We're just teenagers trying to get through puberty.

Hey, girls, nice, nice. Sounds great. Sounds like a good stage presence, too.

In fact, there's only one thing missing, one piece lacking from the puzzle, one

step between you and a huge success.

Don't ask him what that is.

What is it?

Uh, me.

Hey, Mel, we better be leaving soon if we want to get to the zoo before it gets

too crowded.

Where's your father?

Uh, he's not ready yet.

Let's go now and take Daddy to the zoo tomorrow.

I missed some of his clothes around, so he's kind of having a hard time finding

them.

I had to draw him a map.

Mallory, I want to help you out here. I want to be a good father.

I, uh... I know it's for school, and it's important

for you.

But it's also winter in Ohio, and I'd like a little more insulation.

Dad, we went over this, because right here, all clothes worn above the waist

here in the hall closet.

Okay, that's convenient.

What about clothes worn below the belt?

I haven't found a place for them yet.

Do you have a target date on that?

Well, temporarily, they're in Andy's toy chest, but...

I'm not happy with that.

Those were Daddy's pants.

Yes. Excuse me.

Hey,

hey, is Jennifer in the band down yet?

No, they're still upstairs. Why?

Well, Mom is manager of this band. I have to know where they are every moment

the day.

I still can't believe they agreed to use you as their manager.

Yeah, well, they did, Mal. And I have their careers planned from now until

Social Security.

And they signed on the dotted line to hire Alex P. Keaton as their manager.

knew what they were getting into.

And still they signed.

Yes, they did, Mom. Take a look.

Well, Alex, it looks like you're the only one who's making any money here.

You say that about your son?

What's this on line five?

That's my agent's fee.

Line six, seven, and eight?

It's my, uh, my manager's fee, finder's fee, and keeper's fee.

Line ten?

It's my fee fee.

Alex?

Hey, hey, you look terrific.

We look like a bridal party.

Alex, what is this?

This is part of the bold new commercial image I'm creating for the band.

Oh, look, it's the Andrews sisters.

That reminds me, you know, I've been thinking the band needs a new name.

Permanent Wave, this doesn't stick in the brand. We need something catchier,

something a little more contemporary.

The Leg Warmers.

There.

Huh? What do you think? The Swinging Corporate Raiders.

Wasn't that the original name of the Supremes? Come on.

I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.

Hey, Skippy, come on in.

So, you got everything?

The controllers, the amps, the sound equipment, and a hernia.

Yeah, that's everything.

Okay, girl, come on. We got a lot of work to do here.

We gotta go over the new stage show, the new dance steps, the new music.

That's another thing we don't like, the new music.

This is our show tunes, Alex.

Hey, Jen, Jen, Jen, come on. When you're out on tour, there are going to be some

very important people in that audience. I mean, older people.

People who want a little entertainment for their dollar.

I don't care.

I'm not singing, Why Can't a Woman Be More Like a Man?

All right.

All right, okay. Well, then, let's go over one of the other tunes. Let's do

one we did last night. On your feet, ladies. Okay, let's go.

Come on. In the key of C.

Where is it?

Okay, with the head bobs.

Mr.

Stanton. Yes?

Bring me a dream.

Make him the cutest that I've ever seen. Come on, let's see that pout, Ashley.

Give him the word.

I blew a suit today. Does anybody know where it is?

Check the front porch, honey.

He's really a wonderful man.

Come on, you took forever.

A train leaves in a half an hour.

Those dresses are easy to pack, you know. Okay, these are your train

There you go. Oh, not that one.

How come yours said first class and ours didn't?

Well, Jen, you know, it's important for me to maintain a certain image.

You know, people see the... People see the manager, you know, riding

in first class. They figure it's a first class band.

Oh, and what do they think when they see the band and coach?

They think you're real people.

You said he was smooth.

Okay, ladies. Ladies, come here. Come here. Huddle, huddle.

This is an historic moment.

We're about to leave for our first gig.

The swinging corporate raiders, which began as a glimmer in my eye, is now a

reality.

Tonight, Toledo.

Tomorrow, Toledo.

Monday, back to school.

Let's go.

Calm down, honey. She's still upstairs with the other girl. You know, nobody

knows what us managers go through.

Tonight is the biggest night of our careers.

I was thinking of my blue blazer for the dance tonight.

Good idea.

Dad, come in after you get dressed. I've got some exciting news for you.

What's the big news? You found my socks?

No, Dad.

I got an A on my fashion project.

Oh, that's terrific.

Wonderful, honey. Dad, you've been such a good sport. I could not have done this

without you. Well, I'm very happy for you, and I guess I get my closets back

now. Well, not really, Dad. I mean, I'm taking the advanced class.

I'm just kidding. I love events.

Oh,

come on, Stephen. I guess this calls for a celebration.

Well, Mallory got an A. What do you think of that?

Well, and you really helped her, too. Aren't you proud?

Well, I was really getting used to dressing out there close to nature and

Well, with the weather warming up.

There are problems developing.

What? What problems? We are a hit.

We're on the way to the biggest gig of our lives.

Alex, we want to play our own music.

We're tired of looking like we're trying to raise money for war bonds.

I see.

We're not having any fun.

You're not supposed to have fun. You're kids.

You're supposed to be thinking about the future. You're going to have fun when

you retire.

Alex, we appreciate everything you've tried to do for us, but it's enough.

Fine. Good. Hey, I see. I got it. Fine.

Fine.

Don't pout, Alex.

I work.

I sweat.

I labor for hours. I worry about this band. I make all the arrangements. I

myself to the bone, and what do I get in return?

80%. 85%. Read your contract.

It's not working, Alex. Not working? Not working? Are you kidding me? You guys

are a smash.

Didn't they love you at the Cleveland State Penitentiary?

Alex, those guys hadn't been out in 30 years.

They thought we were the Andrews sisters.

Jen, come on. Look, there are bound to be bumps and bruises. You're just

starting out.

Everything is going to work out.

Okay? Trust me. You won't be sorry.

I'm already sorry.

Now it's just a question of how much.

Enjoying yourself?

Oh, it's a wonderful affair. We haven't poked in years.

These poker boys really know how to whip a crowd into a frenzy, don't they?

Yeah, I heard several people were trampled to death at their last concert.

May I have a kiss?

With pleasure. It'll be nice not to have your father dancing on my feet.

There we go.

Well,

girls, this is it.

Leland Symphony Auditorium, our biggest gig yet. Good luck.

Can't blame them, Alex. They kind of feel like you're forcing them into this.

Look, Jen, I've explained this to you a million times. You've got to have a

gimmick to make it in this business. You know, something special for the

audience to remember you by. Now, what's your gimmick?

What do you have that nobody else has that cannot be duplicated?

My brother.

Okay.

Hey. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Okay.

This next act, this next act is really going to knock your socks off.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the swinging corporate raiders.

I can't go through with this, Alex.

Oh.

Mr.

Sandman, thank you.

This is the best I've ever seen.

Jennifer, what are you doing?

I can't go through with this, Alex. I'm not singing. It's over.

It's not here. Oh, fine. Okay. Oh, so that's the way it is, huh?

Fine.

I should have seen it coming, Alex.

Whenever you decide to get involved with my life, a voice says inside my head,

don't listen to this man, he's dangerous.

How many times have I told you not to listen to strange voices?

And then sometimes late at night, another voice says, do whatever he says,

your brother, he's a good guy.

I like that voice.

That's because it's yours.

You left the tape recorder under my bed.

All right, Jen, look.

All right, maybe I got a little carried away.

It's just... When I heard you sing, when I saw how talented you

were, I couldn't help it, you know? I got excited.

And when you get excited, I get excited.

I start to believe anything can happen.

The next thing I know, I'm in an evening gown singing Mr.

Sandman.

Why do I listen to your advice?

Who else's advice are you going to listen to?

I mean, you listen to mom and dad's?

I mean, the only advice they ever give is, you know, be fair to people.

Respect other people's ideas.

Now, what are you going to use that in life?

I do listen to you.

You're my brother. I love you.

I think I should make the decisions by myself.

I think we should manage the band on our own.

You're right. It's your band.

So, uh, can I still come to your play?

Sure.

And if we ever hit it really big one day, you can be the band's accountant.

And if I ever hit it really big one day, you can play at the inauguration.

What's the deal?

No more Mr.

Sandman? No more.

Come on, guys. We're going to do our stuff. Let's go.

Over and over, and over again, I've

seen love happen, and I've seen it end.

I've been hurt so many times before, and maybe still often,

shouldn't touch my heart anymore.