Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years.

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed.

And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do, baby, without a...

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

Hey, how was the home design show?

You're sure to come with us, Alex? It was fabulous.

Alex, miles and miles of new appliances, wall coverings, bathroom fixtures.

If only I could live this day over again and have gone with you.

We're going again tomorrow.

Yeah, we're trying to decide whether or not to remodel the kitchen.

Well, we... No way. You'll have to remodel me first.

Sounds like another argument in favor.

Listen, do you guys mind removing all this home show stuff? We're making a lot

of important banking papers here.

These are just travel brochures of Chicago, Alex.

Alex, if you're leaving home, please go further than Chicago.

Just your information, Mal. Chicago happens to be the host city for the 15th

annual Midwest Banking Seminar, which I will be attending.

Jealous, huh?

Have to watch it on television like everybody else.

I didn't know you were going, Alex.

Yeah, I'm going to be representing Harding Trust, my bank. They asked you

We should take our money out of there immediately.

Oh, we already did when Alex got the job.

I'm telling you, Mommy, this banking conference is going to be great. All of

best banking minds in the Midwest are going to be there.

Well, it was quite an honor for them to choose you.

Yeah, well, they haven't officially chosen me yet.

But Rebecca's on her way over here and said she wanted to talk to me about

something. So, you know, what else could it be? I'm the obvious choice.

Good. You and Rebecca are getting along better now.

Oh, yeah. We're getting along fine now. In fact, yesterday, she only threatened

to fire me twice.

You're a shoo -in.

Oh, come in, come in, come in, come in.

Alex, I hope I'm not disturbing you at all. Oh, Rebecca, no. I mean, obviously

you wouldn't come over here to talk to me unless you had something important to

say. Well, I have a few things I'd like to discuss with you. Oh, I'm sorry.

Alex, what are you doing with a map of Chicago?

Well, you know, I'll tell you, Rebecca, Chicago has always been a favorite city

of mine.

Yeah, I've often dreamed of walking the windy streets, playing hog butcher to

the world.

I'm afraid.

It's a poor boy's dream. I didn't mean to burden you with it.

Good.

My kind of time.

My kind of time. Alex, I think a theme is starting to emerge here.

You want to go to the conference in Chicago, don't you?

You got to take me, Rebecca.

Look, I already got a new travel alarm. It's already set for Chicago time.

Alex, let me be frank with you.

I have thought long and hard about taking you to this conference.

You are the sharpest, most knowledgeable employee I have.

You are

also the most volatile, unpredictable, potentially lethal employee I have.

Well, I know. That's the fun side of me.

Not at a banking conference, it's not. Rebecca, look, you've got to take me to

the conference. It really means a lot to me. I promise you, I promise you I will

be professional and business -like for the entire trip.

Well, remember that.

Because you're going, here's the ticket.

No!

Look at this, Jan.

This is a beautiful kitchen. Here.

We could do something like that in here, don't you think?

Wouldn't it be great to have everything brand new?

Oh, yeah.

We've been talking about it for so long.

This kitchen has been exactly the same since I was born. It's been the same

since I was born. It's been the same since I was born.

Well, your father doesn't feel the same way about this. He doesn't like change

of any kind.

I once bought a different brand of napkins and he developed a rash.

We could get him to do it, Mom.

If we gang up on him, he'll fold like a house of cards.

Mallory and I can do the loving daughter bit. He loves that.

I don't want to trick your dad into doing something he doesn't want to do.

Oh, Mom, that's the beauty of it.

You're going to take middle ground.

You can pretend you're reasonable about this.

You could say things like, Stephen, we should seriously consider remodeling

kitchen. But let's not be hasty. And then kiss him quick.

And the final time we get Alex to take Dad's side, Alex will say, remodel the

kitchen? That's the worst idea I ever heard. Don't touch a thing.

Dad will be remodeling in a second.

Oh, that's really appealing.

But I'll tell you, even if your dad agreed to remodel the kitchen, we don't

the money. It's that simple.

Everybody, guess what?

I got a raise!

A raise! That's terrific!

Oh, man.

What do you think we should do with the money?

You're excited, huh?

What do you think we should do with the money?

Well, I've thought about it, and I think we should put it right in the bank and

watch it grow.

I think it's a great idea.

I mean, what other options do we have with all that new money? I mean, either

put it in the bank and we watch it grow, or we remodel the kitchen.

What? Remodel the kitchen?

Yeah.

Never. I love this kitchen. There's a lot of history here.

Daddy, we're so glad you're home. We love you.

And we're so proud of you.

So proud. You're probably the only daddy in the whole block who got a raise

today.

I will never remodel his kitchen.

Maybe we should seriously consider remodeling the kitchen. But let's not be

hasty.

I will never remodel this kitchen.

Okay, well, here I go.

Alex, what do you think about remodeling the kitchen?

Remodel the kitchen?

It's the worst idea I ever heard.

Don't touch a thing.

All right, I'll think about it.

Okay.

So, uh, what time's your flight leave, Alex? In about one hour, Dad. Rebecca's

coming by to pick me up any minute.

Well, I'm very proud of you, Alex. Things really seem to be going your way.

Especially, you know, considering that rocky start I had with Rebecca.

You know, that little...

error in judgment I made.

Little error? Alex, you kissed your boss.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Late at night, we're alone in the bank.

We each had a little too much money to count.

Anyway, that's history, Dad. That's in the past. That's forgotten.

Well, that's great. It's a real sign of growth to see how you've accepted having

a woman as boss.

Yeah, thank that, thank that. And, you know, I like to think that I have had

some effect on Rebecca, too.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Well, you know that kind of girl, wealthy, New England, private school

know, snobbish, aloof, cold.

Yeah, I guess she could use some changing.

No, I'm trying to turn her into that.

I mean, that's her background, but besides all that stuff, which I love,

know, she's a little uptight.

Try to loosen her up a little.

Ah, well, there she is. Hi.

Alex, you ready?

Hi, Rebecca.

Pretty as can be. Well, we really appreciate your taking Alex along with

Rebecca. We can really use the rest.

Well, glad to help, but I'm really taking Alex along because he's very

very eager, and I'm afraid to leave him alone at the bank.

Alex, I knew it was going to be a mistake to take you. Oh, come on. What

mistake? I thought it was a great flight.

What about that little scene you caught through the door?

What, are you trying to tell me I wasn't right?

Alex, after a certain age, they don't give you those little wings anymore.

All right, okay, all right.

It was a little bit of a rough start. You know, I was a little bit excited.

But I know what's called for here, Rebecca.

Professionalism, decorum, reserve.

Hey, Alex Keaton, Harding Trust.

Where are you from, buddy?

Good afternoon. How may I help you?

You have a reservation for Ryan.

Rebecca Ryan.

That'll be suite 412 in the West Tower. A porter will be along shortly to take

your bags.

Thank you.

Good afternoon, sir.

Good afternoon. Good afternoon.

There should be a suite waiting for me. The name is Keaton.

Alex P. Keaton. I'm with the banking conference.

I'm afraid I have no reservation for Keaton.

Well, it must be some mistake. Let's just try again.

I'm sorry. We're all booked up, sir. There are no rooms available.

Next, please.

Look, could you at least recommend me to another hotel?

Every hotel in Chicago is full, sir. There's a blizzard starting up out

People aren't even able to leave the city.

Excuse me.

Do you believe this?

They don't have my reservation. I don't have a room.

Alex, I'm really sorry.

I've got to go upstairs and shower. Good luck.

Wait a minute.

I don't need luck. I need towels.

I need a soap dish. I need mints on my pillow.

Alex, I'm really very sorry. I would love to help you. But what can I do?

Well... Don't even think about it.

Come on, you've got to sweep. You've got plenty of room.

Absolutely not. I cannot have you sleeping in my room.

I'm an officer of the bank.

I have a reputation to uphold.

All right, okay, now wait a minute, wait a minute. What are you afraid of? What

are you afraid of? I'm going to peak?

What are you afraid of? I'm going to try something?

Come on, Rebecca, this is business, pure and simple.

I'm here representing Harding Bank, your bank.

Now, I've got to be alert.

I've got to get some rest.

There's nothing personal about this.

Okay, Alex, you win.

What other choice do I have? You can share my suite with me.

Okay, great.

We're going to be living together.

It's going to be great being roomies. You'll see.

I'm virtuous as roomies. One more time, I'm going to fire you. And then I'm

going to beat you up.

Rebecca, I'm going to make this as easy on you as possible. I'm going to be

quiet as a mouse. You'll hardly even know I'm around.

When I have guys over, you know, hang a sock on the door.

Okay. It's you.

Suite 412, corner suite.

I love it.

This is a suite?

This must be a sitting room. This is just a sitting room, right?

Oh, sure, you can sit in here.

But if you'll allow me to squeeze through here, I'll show you some of the

features of this room.

There are no features in this room.

Thanks for pointing that out. No, no problem. I'll get the rest of the

Oh, I... Excuse me.

Need anything else?

Some, uh... Some ice, perhaps?

Where would we put it?

All

right,

okay.

What a bit of a rough spot here.

A little awkward.

Could be worse.

Might not be in a suite.

Dad, what are you doing?

I'm just sitting here, thinking.

We've had some wonderful times in this kitchen, haven't we?

Take it easy, honey. We'll have some good times in the new kitchen, too.

How can you be sure of that, Elise?

What if this kitchen is the reason we've been so happy for all these years?

Let's not forget the other rooms, Dad. They've had something to do with it.

Yeah, I've had some great times in the living room.

Maybe the reason you had such great times in the living room was because

close to the kitchen.

Honey, honey, I know this is difficult for you.

I know you have ambivalent feelings about changes in the kitchen, but that's

I went out.

And I hired George Bellis.

He's an excellent interior designer.

He's going to come in, he's going to consult, and he's going to go very, very

slowly. All right. All right, Alita.

I'm approaching this with an open mind.

I just want a little something to remember the kitchen by, that's all.

Uh, Mal, Jen, can I have a shot of you over by the refrigerator?

Mom, stop him.

What's the big deal? Just a couple of shots for the old wallet. Mel, take the

mice cubes out, honey. Come on, action.

Come on, come on.

Oh, it's George Bell.

George, come in, come in. This is my husband, Stephen.

Nice to meet you.

Our daughters, Jennifer and Mallory. Girls.

that you're going to be handling this, George. Anything for you, Elise.

Well, take a look around.

Come on, don't hold back. Just, what do you think?

Let's start with the small things.

This wall must go.

What? I love this wall.

Now, this is, this is a historical wall. We measured the growth of the kids on

this wall.

Look, Mallory at three.

Jennifer at three.

Alex at three.

Mr. Keaton, this wall is what's preventing this kitchen from springing

from reaching its full potential as a family center.

This wall is what's preventing the house from falling down.

Stephen, would you let George do his work?

Certainly, certainly. If I may proceed.

I see a huge bay window with shelves and greenery

captaining down and late curtains framing a wonderful panoramic view.

Oh, that sounds fabulous. I've always wanted a bay window in my kitchen.

Sounds great, doesn't it, Dad?

To accommodate this bay window, of course...

We will have to lose a good portion of this wall also.

Another wall? Why don't you just dynamite the room?

Stephen, would you hear him out?

Look, I'm sorry.

This is all happening too fast. I think we need a little more time to decide

exactly what we want to do in here. To mull over George's wonderfully

and insane ideas.

We'll call you in a couple of days.

Do you have a card?

Call me.

We'll talk.

Dad, how could you let George go like that? He was our only hope. The kitchen

tomorrow was almost in our grasp.

Believe me, we don't need George. His ideas aren't right for our lifestyle.

We need somebody who understands our house, who knows it, who cares about it.

Who might that be?

You're looking at him.

All right, let's just try to make the best of it. I guess we should unpack for

it.

Who gets the hanger?

It's my room. I think I should get it. All right, Rebecca, what am I going to

with all of my clothes?

Why don't you wear them?

I get 16 suits.

I look like a Tweety version of the Michelin Man.

Alex, I just don't think this is going to work.

Come on.

It's an adventure.

Did you ever have a roommate?

Did you ever go camping?

Get trapped in a mine?

Alex, I have a confession to make. All right, don't make it a big one, okay? We

don't have the room.

I was an only child. I always had a room of my own.

And I went away to a very exclusive boarding school, and everyone had a

suite.

Do you have the address of that place?

The point is, I've never lived with anyone.

And I'd rather not start with you.

All right, all right, okay, okay. You think this is a picnic for me?

Do you think this is my idea of paradise?

Do you think I planned this?

I'm not so sure.

It's all beginning to make sense to me now, Alex. It's all becoming very clear.

First, you beg for me to take you along.

I agree out of the kindness of my heart.

Then your reservation mysteriously disappears, so I have no choice but to

you in.

Coincidence?

I think not.

You got me, Rebecca.

You got me.

This is all just been a ploy to get to spend a night in this room with you.

The plane trip.

The blizzard.

Every hotel in Chicago booked solid.

I arranged that.

Sure, it cost me some buck.

It's part of my master plan, the banking convention.

Oh, Ruth.

None of these people are bankers. They all work for me.

Hey, Bill, Harry, Larry, yeah, go home.

No, she's on to it.

We'll try again next year with another girl.

Matter of fact, Rebecca, the whole damn city of Chicago does not exist.

This is my basement.

Okay, Alex, I think you've made your point.

I apologize.

My accusation was uncalled for.

I accept your apology.

I think we need a little air in here. I'm beginning to feel claustrophobic.

Maybe we could open a window or something.

Good idea.

At least we can't push each other out.

This is crazy.

I'm exhausted.

All I need... Just a little rest.

Good. Good idea.

Go ahead.

Are you going to breathe that loudly the whole weekend?

Why don't you just kill me now?

Okay? Throw my body in the hall.

We'd have more room.

Look, we have a meeting in two hours. Can we just have some quiet, please?

Okay, fine.

Try not to breathe.

Are you going to hover over me like that the whole time?

I plan to.

I'm having such a good time.

Look, Alex, why don't you just get a rest, too?

Fine, okay, sure.

Tell you what, I'll sleep in the bathtub.

It's a stand -up shower.

All right, you can lie here.

Thank you.

Great.

Okay, this is great.

Yep.

This is cozy.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.