Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years And I bet we'll be

together for a million more Oh, it's like I started breathing

on the night we kissed And I can't remember what I ever

did before What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing. We can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

Oh, come on. Ten times up. Make a move.

I can't make a word with these letters. X, Y, G, Z, and Q.

I forfeit my turn.

Forfeit? Did you say forfeit?

Yes, I did. If I had the letters, I'd spell it out for you.

No, Jen. No, no, no. A Keaton never forfeits. Keaton's battled to the bitter

end. A Keaton would rather die fighting than give up.

Okay, here's my word.

Cat. Cat. Did you see that, Dad? Cat.

See what?

With a plethora of interesting letters to choose from.

Your daughter spells cat.

Jennifer, pack your bags.

Alex, this isn't World War III. We're just playing Scrabble. Well, you know,

that's your problem, Jennifer. Everything is a game to you.

Calm down, Potato Head.

Potato Head, you called me that when you were four years old. I'm in college

now. I deserve a little respect.

Sorry. Mr. Potato Head.

What you need is a neutral third party to demilitarize the game. Deal me in.

What's wrong?

Dad, Alex and I love you very much.

And you're a wonderful father.

But you know you cannot play a game of Scrabble without getting completely out

of control.

What are you talking about?

Oh, come on, Dad. You're the only guy in the history of Scrabble to be called

for unnecessary roughness.

Al, come on.

Hey, you two are just in time for a good old Scrabble tournament.

You weren't actually going to play, are you, Stephen?

Why not?

Well, you know what the doctor said. You're subject to nervous exhaustion due

intense Scrabble exposure.

Last time you played, you didn't have to work for a week.

Hey, how about you, Mel? You want to play? Good way to learn the alphabet.

No, thanks. I have a friend coming over any minute. We're going to study.

Yeah, right.

Oh, really? A very good friend.

We met in line of registration.

We're both under the case.

Well, that's an unbreakable bond.

She's really nice. Smart, too.

Yeah, right.

Allison! Hi!

Everyone, this is Allison King.

This is my mom, Alicia.

This is my dad, Stephen, my sister, Jennifer. Hi.

And he lives here, too.

So, uh, you go to Grant, huh? Are you majoring in undeclared arts and clothes

like my sister?

No, it's architecture.

Oh, I'm an architect.

Mallory, you didn't tell me that Allison's an architecture major.

I would love to see you work sometime, Mrs. Keaton. Well, I'd love to talk to

you anytime.

Great. Allison, I better start studying. Okay.

Okay, Jennifer, read them and weep.

Lexicon, 33 points.

You know, you could make a better word.

Xenophobia on a triple word score would give you 69 points.

Oh, sorry, I don't mean to disturb your studying, but there's a small war

brewing out there and I had to get away.

Is Dad losing again?

He's not just losing the game, he's losing his mind.

He swears that...

Z -O -Q -U -O.

Zocuo. It's a word from the Greek, meaning water sports.

Well, I hope they give it to him. I'd hate for him to miss work again.

Foundation and structure by Curtis Nevin. This was my first architecture

Really? Yeah.

For the architect's main responsibility...

Finally, it's to translate form and function into vision to create a place

men as far as liberty and justice for all.

What are you studying?

Oh, fashion.

How its function relates to form.

For the fashioneer's main responsibility to coordinate an outfit and

to make a place where men and women can keep from being naked.

Very interesting, huh?

Mrs. Keaton. Oh, Elise, please.

Elise?

I have a paper due in my city planning class, and I wondered if you would mind

if I interviewed you?

Mind? I'd love it.

I'm flattered. I'm very flattered. Oh, well, good.

I've never been the topic of a paper before.

Mom, I wrote a poem about you in the third grade.

I love that poem, but a paper is different.

Well, it probably won't rhyme.

Mom, you gotta help us. Dad's getting wild.

We had to give him Zocuo and promise to use it often in casual conversation.

That's outrageous.

It is. But I told him I'm going down to the Y and they'll call my brains out.

Come on, Dad, let's go. It's your

turn. You're taking forever here.

I... have.

Good, good.

My turn.

Dad, why'd you pass? You're playing right into his hands.

I'm in a rough spot here, Jennifer.

I have a cue I'm trying to get on the board, but I can't seem to find any U's.

That's because Alex has all of them.

He hoards the U's so whoever gets the cue can't get rid of it.

Not exactly sporting of you, Alex.

Come on, Dad, look.

Nowhere on this instruction sheet is there a rule against hoarding.

It's a perfectly fair and brilliant defensive play that's keeping with the

integrity of the game.

Besides, I'm going to use these letters to make a word here.

What kind of a word are you going to make with three U's?

Ooshnu.

From the Greek, it means to towel off.

Use it in a sentence.

After a Zocuo, I like to ooshnoo.

This is definitely a new low point. If you'll excuse me, I have to go find a

positive male role model.

I'll get Andy's up from his nap.

Is Mom back yet?

Uh, no.

Wait a minute. Wasn't she with, uh, you and Allison?

Yeah, we're supposed to go shopping, but there was some kind of exhibit at the

museum, so they went to that instead.

Well, why didn't you go?

Dad, they went to a museum.

Oh, sorry.

Let's go, Dad, and make a move. Look, we've been at it for a couple of hours.

Alex, why don't we take a little break?

Sure, Dad.

Oh, Pop, you want me to call the office for you and tell them you won't be in

tomorrow?

I can't really say that being a woman has been a hindrance to my career.

No, I don't mean that.

It's just that it hasn't made it any easier.

Honey, oh, what a day.

It was a fabulous exhibit. We really missed you. Being there with your mother

was like being there with a tour guide. She knew every inch of that museum. It

was like going to a mall with you.

I'm really sorry you didn't come, honey.

Yeah, I had a lot of things to do today.

Oh, we saw Kevin Hamilton at the museum.

Which one was Kevin Hamilton?

Uh, the one with the curly hair.

Oh, the jeans, the red shirt, real cute.

Mom.

What?

Your mother, you're not supposed to notice things like that, like how cute

Hamilton is.

Well, Kevin Hamilton noticed your mother. He asked her to the prom.

Mom?

I said no.

Look, Allison, since we couldn't go to the mall today, I figured we could go

tonight. I noticed there's a big sale at Lazarus.

Oh, that sounds really great, but Elise and I are going to go to this

architecture symposium on campus tonight.

Oh.

You might like it, honey. It's about the Greek revival period in the early 19th

century.

Ooh, that sounds really tempting.

To tell you the truth, I've got to do some extra credit homework for geometry.

I'm going to crochet a parallelogram.

Sure, honey.

Thanks for thinking of me, but you guys go ahead.

Okay. Let's go play Steve in this tape. Oh, great.

Siphoid. Now, with the triple word score and the

50 point bonus for using all my letters, it's 118 points for me.

Your turn.

Okay,

N -X -M -U -V.

Next move.

I'm sorry, big fella. I don't think there's any such word as nooks move.

Look at that.

Oh,

come on, Alex. He can't even spell.

Come on, Andy.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Who am I going to play with now?

Hey, I'll give you a nooks move.

Nooks move and 100 points.

Alex.

Hey, Mal, you want to play? You want to play? I'll give you rock groups, give

you slang, give you misspelled words.

No, thanks.

Can I talk to you about something?

Yeah, what's up?

Look, I don't know if you've noticed, but lately Mom and Allison

have become very close.

Very, very close.

What, are you afraid they're going to elope?

I'm completely left out of it. There's no place for me. They have the same

interests, the same tastes, the same likes.

Mallory, don't you see? It's your fault for having such a smart friend. I mean,

you can't blame Mom for latching on to her.

You know, when another one's going to show up.

I'm sorry I brought it up. I should have known better. Look, Mal, Mallory,

seriously, you're making this thing a whole lot bigger than it really is. I

Yeah.

Look, all that's really happened here...

If you suddenly realize that you and Mom don't have a lot in common and that

you'll never be as close as you want to be, it's no big deal.

All right, guys. Hey, Mom, what's the champagne for?

Allison got an A on her architecture project. How about me?

Congratulations, Allison. Yeah, congratulations, Allison. Thanks.

Well, what's the occasion?

Oh, Dad, Allison got an A on an architecture project. I'm surprised Mom

call you at work to tell you. Well, I think we have something special here. We

have an A paper based on the career of an A woman.

What do you say we go out and celebrate at a restaurant approved by the AAA?

Sorry.

Dad, we can't. Allison and I have a sorority meeting tonight. In fact, we

get going.

Oh, actually, you know, the meeting's going to be held here, and it's going to

be a party in honor of Allison.

It was your mom's idea.

It's great. It's going to be great.

Excuse me. Excuse me. I'd like to make a toast to my good friend Allison King,

who is learning to translate form and function into vista and vision.

to make a place for men and women to soar.

Excuse me, excuse me. I'd like to make a little toast myself to all of

you lovely young ladies.

Especially those of you who are not involved in serious relationships.

How you doing?

Very heartfelt little tribute you made there, Alex.

Well, Mom, you know I meant every word of it.

Thank you. I think you can go back to the kitchen now.

Right. Hey.

How you doing?

Having a good time? Oh, great. I'm just sitting here wondering which one of my

friends Mom's going to fill next.

I hope it's not the blonde in the corner. I'm going to put the moves on

Oh, wait, wait, wait. What? What's going on?

I don't know. Allison wants to teach me this dance. No, we're going to teach

your mother how to slam spin.

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You can't slam spin at your age.

How's it going out there, Alex?

Fabulous, Dad, fabulous. Mom's getting them eaten out of the palm of her hand.

She's dancing. She's having a ball.

Dancing? Good.

That's quite a comment on our times, isn't it, Dad?

How so?

Well, the girls are out there dancing, having a party, cutting loose, and we're

in here making mushroom swirls.

That is a nice comment, Alex, and it's just fine with me.

I'm comfortable with this role.

Oh, come on. Men are hunters. We're warriors. We're explorers. We're not

'oeuvres makers.

All right, maybe we are hors d 'oeuvres makers.

say about joining a sorority?

I tell you, it's funny. When I was in college, I didn't know anything about

sororities. The 60s just weren't about that.

It's hard to imagine you as part of the 60s. Oh, yeah.

Did you know the Beatles?

Elise, I don't know how you do it.

I know I have a hard enough time just going to classes and studying for tests

and going on a date once in a blue moon.

How do you manage to keep your life in order?

Yeah, how do you fit it all in? I mean, wife, mother, career woman.

Sometimes I guess it's a case of priorities, yeah.

Lisa, I got a question.

Yeah.

Do you think there's a tendency for a mother to compensate to overcome a

of guilt about absence from home by becoming too intensely involved in her

children's lives?

I'm not sure I understand.

What I'm trying to say is that when a woman decides to become a mother, she

should just be a mother and all these other things complicate her life so much

that she can't decide who she is or what she should be doing or who she should

be doing it with.

I'm sorry, honey. I'm not sure I follow you.

It might be Mallory.

Oh, it's not home yet?

No, and, uh, I think your mother's starting to get a little worried.

It's late.

Where have you been?

Well, I had to, uh, drive a few of the girls home.

Alex, you, uh, you left three hours ago.

Well, come on. It takes a long time, you know?

Walk them to the door, go inside, have a cup of coffee, collect the gas money.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm just, uh, making some sandwiches for, uh, lunch tomorrow.

Jennifer and Andy.

We, uh... We don't eat the fruit, you know.

Hmm?

Kids, um... First we, uh, go for the cookies, and then the drink, and then

sandwich, maybe.

But, uh, we chuck the fruit.

Well, I know, but as a father, I'm sworn to include a piece of fruit with every

lunch.

Oh, hey, Dad.

Quick game? What do you say?

Oh, no, Alex, it's after midnight. I'm exhausted.

What? Come on, I'll handicap myself, okay? Alex, please.

Let's have a little self -control.

Enough's enough.

All right. Okay, I'm a little tired.

Anyway. Okay.

Hi. Hi.

Where have you been?

Out driving.

Honey, I didn't realize this was affecting you the way it was. I just

pick up on it at all. I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I know that you and Allison have a lot more in common than you and I do.

And I know that you like being friends with Allison.

Is that what you're upset about?

You think I like Allison more than I like you?

You're my honey.

I love you.

You don't have to say this, Mom.

I should have made this clear a long time ago.

I am thrilled with who you are.

You have a gentleness and a sweetness and an ability to make people feel good

about themselves.

You're very special.

Thanks. I'm sorry I overreacted.

Well, I'll tell you, honey, you do yourself a big favor if you don't bottle

things up inside like that. You know, if you're unhappy, tell us, you know, let

us know how you're feeling. Give us a clue.

All right.

During the past few weeks, I think you've been acting kind of childish.

Good. That's the idea.

I don't think it's fair that I should have to come home for my dates by

midnight.

All right, that's something we can think about and discuss.

Lately, your meals have left something to be desired.

You don't have to say everything right away.

A little mystery doesn't hurt.

But you have the basic idea.

You know, we really have to try to communicate more.

We really have to spend more time together.

After all, you know, these are very special times.

We're not always going to be here.

What do you mean?

Well, you know, in a few years, you're just going to be coming home for the

holidays.

Things can be frantic and hurried.

Your mind will be on other things, and, well, I'll be stuffing turkeys.

In between, you know, catching up with Jennifer and Andy and listening to Alex

tell us how much money he's making, we're probably only going to have a

of hours to talk, you know.

I'd hate to think that we had nothing to say.

I don't think that can happen.

Let's go upstairs and talk.

All right, Dad.

One game.

Double or nothing.

I win, I get the deed to the house.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.