Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years.

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed.

And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do?

I believe you did that, Dad. I don't know what I did that was so wrong, Jen.

It was probably the single most embarrassing moment of my life, that's

happened? Dad was driving carpool today, okay?

Me, two other girls from the eighth grade, and Misty Castleman, a ninth

captain of the cheerleaders, and very popular.

We stopped at a red light. It was quiet.

And then Dad says, why don't we use this time to have a mock debate between the

U .S. and the Soviet Union?

Dad, you didn't.

He turns to Mitzi Castleman and says, Mitzi, you be Gorbachev.

I'm dying.

Who's Gorbachev?

That's what Mitzi said.

If I could have crawled into the ashtray, I would have. Look, look, up

then, all the talk had been about clothes and boys and movies.

I thought a little group discussion about the nuclear arms race would be a

change of pace.

Come.

Mr. Castleman is Gorbachev.

There, there.

Who's this Gorbachev?

I don't know what I did that was so wrong.

I don't know. Maybe next time try Mr. Castleman as Reagan.

Oh, just you, Alex.

I'm equally excited to see you, Mel.

Sorry, I was just hoping it was Nick. He's late and I'm wondering where he

be. Maybe he's in Stockholm.

Excepting the Nobel Prize for physics.

What time are you expecting Nick? Over an hour ago. He said he'd come right

here after his job interview.

Job interview?

Job interview?

I wasn't supposed to say anything in case they didn't hire him. What kind of

is it?

Teaching art to kids with a Y.

Boy, it would be neat to have Nick as a teacher.

Yeah, you could all cut classes together.

Um, okay, that's him. Please don't let on that I told you anything about this.

If he finds out, he swore he'd never speak to me again.

Never, you say?

Never ever?

Hey. Hey!

Did you get the job?

Come on, Andy, I think it's time to go upstairs and play now.

Maury, I didn't mean to tell them I was excited. It kind of slipped out.

Hey, I guess this means you'll never speak to our daughter again.

It's all right, Mr. Keaton. You know, I could never really be mad at Maury. But

she told us, Nick.

After you asked her not to, in no uncertain terms.

Yeah, but she was just excited.

I don't mind.

Nick.

She betrayed you.

I think you have no choice but to leave her.

It really doesn't matter anyway, Mr. Keaton, because I didn't get the job.

I can't believe that. You were perfect for that job.

They said that they really wanted me. They said that I would bring a new and

unusual perspective to the program.

But the...

Said they couldn't hire anybody without a high school diploma.

Boy, that's a new one, isn't it?

So, what do you want to do tonight, Mal? You want to go out, see a movie?

Um, sure, if that's what you want to do. I mean, if you're sure you want to go

out. Yeah, why wouldn't I want to?

I don't know. I know you're feeling a little down about not getting the job.

Hey, Mal, I'm fine. I forgot all about it.

What job, see?

Aw, Nick, I hate when you get this way.

It's not good to keep your emotions all bottled up inside. You'll end up like

Alex. You don't want that, do you?

None of us want that, Mel.

Alex, if you had a little sensitivity, you'd be able to see that Nick is very

upset. Look, if Nick is so upset that he didn't get the job, why didn't Nick go

back to high school and get his diploma?

Hey, hey, hey, no way. I am not going back to school.

You know how they make you write papers and take tests?

I don't like to take tests.

You know, you gotta put these tiny little checks in the right box. True or

false. What about a box for maybe? How come they don't have a box for maybe?

You know, and how about a box for who cares?

What about a box for ask me a different question?

Huh?

I liked you better when you were bottled up.

Um, Nick, what about that?

I mean, what about going back to school?

Ah, it's not for me.

Nick, it's the only way you're going to get that job.

Think how great it would be to teach those little kids how to be creative.

You're so good with kids. You could really inspire them.

Me as a teacher?

Wow.

I'd walk into the classroom, and they'd stop making those funny little noises

that kids make when the teacher comes into the room.

They'd all sit up nice and straight and they'd say, Good morning, Mr. Moore.

You know, nobody's ever called me Mr. Moore.

Except my grandfather. He could never remember my first name.

Good morning, Mr. Moore.

Good morning, Mallory.

You're looking very cute today.

Thank you, Mr. Moore.

Mal, I wanted that job so bad I couldn't sleep for three nights thinking about

it. Then, Nick, go back to school.

I mean, how many classes are you short?

One. English.

English. I can help you.

English.

English was one of my better subjects. I only had to take it twice.

I can't believe you did it again, Dad.

What did I do this time?

I followed your instructions to the letter. You told me I could only talk

how Mitzi Castleman looked. And that's what I did.

You told her she looked like Mrs.

Gorbachev.

You told her to wear that fur hat.

You're never driving carpool again, Dad.

Great!

There isn't a father in America who wouldn't kill to hear those words.

Or Russia!

Hi, Dad. Hi, honey.

Um, would you guys mind letting me have the living room? Nick's going to be over

any minute. I'm going to help him study.

You're going to help Nick study?

I thought the idea was for Nick to pass this course.

Alex, I don't want you to say anything to Nick. He's got his first big test

tomorrow, and he's nervous enough already.

Well, I'll tell you what, Andy. Why don't you take your brother upstairs and

play with him until dinner, and do not let him out of your sight.

Come on, Alex. Let's go color.

I don't want to color her.

It's a Wall Street Journal coloring book.

All right.

Hi,

Nick. Hey.

How's the studying coming?

I'll tell you the truth, Mrs. Keaton, it's not going so good. You know, it's a

lot tougher than just sitting around doing nothing all day.

I'm sure you'll find it just as rewarding.

Come on, Nick. We got a lot to cover before your test tomorrow.

Okay.

Now.

What is a verb? What does it do in a sentence?

I just kind of sit there, trying not to bother the other words.

Come on, Nick. A verb is a word that does something active in a sentence,

walk around or eat.

Yeah, but eating's not active, unless you eat and run.

Well, you don't have to be moving to be active.

You just have to be doing something.

Well, what about if you're dead? I mean, you can't be active when you're dead

unless you're a ghost or a vampire.

You can use verbs for ghosts and vampires.

Just not for ordinary dead people.

I'm going to have to look that up. I think they have special verbs for them.

You know, without a doubt, the most inane and absurd conversation I've ever

heard.

Alex, what are you doing here?

What am I doing? Well, I'm not doing anything. So I guess I'll need one of

special verbs.

Like you use for dead people.

Alex, I asked you not to come down here while we're studying.

I'm sorry, ma 'am. I was irresistibly drawn towards this awesome display of

brain power.

You know, if you could harness the mental energy in this room, you could

some bread.

Lightly.

What are you allowed to do?

Let's lock the door.

I'm coming, Andrew. I'm coming.

You don't think I can pass the test, do you, Alex?

Truth? Truth.

No.

Don't pay any attention to him.

Who are we kidding? Alex is right. I am wasting my time. I'm wasting your time.

Nick, you can't give up. The test is tomorrow.

Mal, I was born being able to fix things. I am good with my hands, all

Other people like you are born being good at school.

Nick. Mal, I'm sorry.

I really appreciate what you're trying to do here for me. I love you for it,

I'm quitting.

I'm quitting school because I don't belong there.

Mallory, listen, I don't think it's fair for you to blame me. Nick would not

have quit school if Nick didn't want to. He was doing just fine until you came

along. At the very least, you owe him an apology.

He asked me if I thought he'd pass the test, and I gave him my opinion.

What was he supposed to do, lie?

You shouldn't have interfered, Alex.

What would you say if Nick asked you if you thought he would pass?

Well, I would say, uh, yes.

I almost certainly think he might.

Pass.

Or might not.

What would you say, Elise?

I would say I think he would pass.

You'd be lying.

Not necessarily lying.

Not necessarily telling the truth.

Not necessarily.

I can't believe you guys. None of you think Nick can do it.

I do.

Thank you, Andrew.

Do what?

It doesn't matter whether or not we think Nick can do it.

It only matters whether or not he thinks he can do it. Well, that's a very good

point, Jan.

But if Nick thinks he can do it, he's wrong.

Okay, look, we better be going.

The play starts at 8.

Okay. Good night, sweetheart.

Sleep well. We'll check in on you when we get home.

Okay, have a good time. Good night.

Wait a minute, Alex. I want to talk to you about something, okay? I am really

tired about your attitude towards Nick.

You're wrong about him.

I know that if Nick and I studied a little more, he'd be able to pass that

course and get his diploma.

Okay, excuse me, Mel.

I happen to overhear one of your so -called study sessions.

And there is a new way that Nick is going to get that diploma.

In fact, you'll be lucky if they don't take yours away.

Hey. Sorry about before and running out on you, babe.

I came back to apologize.

Andrew, wait a minute. Wait a minute, Andrew. I thought you were going to bed.

I can't sleep. I'm afraid of the dark.

Well, I don't know what to do. I can't convince him to get into bed.

Come on, Andrew. No, I'm afraid of the dark. I can't go to sleep.

Maybe it's because you don't have your dream hat, Andy.

What's a dream hat?

Well, you see, It's a hat you put on to help you get to sleep and have great

dreams at night.

Do you have one?

Sure do, but mine's at home.

Tell you what, though, I'll make you one. Would you like that? Yeah. Okay.

Now you see, it's shaped like a cloud.

Because that's what Dreamland is made up of.

And it's got all these stars on it.

Because the sky in Dreamland is...

Full of stars when you're dreaming.

And it's also got all the colors of the rainbow.

You see?

Because that's how you get to dreamland. You slide up and down on a rainbow.

That's a wonderful hat, Andy. You're really lucky to have it.

Will you help Jennifer put me to bed?

My pleasure.

Come on.

Say goodnight.

Goodnight.

That was impressive, Mel.

I had no idea Nick could be so useful.

I just, I got a great imagination.

Alex, you've seen Nick with Andy, and you know how good he is with kids.

This job means everything to him. He's got to get that diploma, and there's

one way he's going to do it.

You've got to help him.

Me?

You gotta be kidding, man.

Alex, please. You're the only one smart enough to do it.

Well, that's true, but I shouldn't be penalized for that.

Coming.

Hello, Nick.

Alex.

What are you doing here?

So, your place, huh?

It's exactly how I imagined it would look.

Want some chips or nuts or something?

Yeah, yeah, that would, uh, that'd be nice, Nick. Thanks.

Yeah, and I, uh, think there's some more chips in the couch there.

There you go.

Put on a nice spread, Nick.

So, uh, what is it? A, uh, social call?

Ah, well, actually, Nick, I wanted to talk to you about school.

What's there to talk about?

I'm quitting.

I've been watching you with Andy.

You know how good you are with him, with kids.

And I couldn't help thinking to myself, you know, this guy does not have to be a

total drain on society.

Hey, thanks.

No, Nick, what I'm saying is this.

If you don't quit the class,

I'll help you pass the test tomorrow. I am not going back to that class.

I already know everything I need to know to get by in my world. That kind of

learning is for you and your world. And that's a world that I don't want to be

no part of. Thank you, Alex.

Nick, Nick, come on.

I'm not interested in taking you out of your world.

It's so clearly where you belong.

I'm just interested in making your world bigger. Why is it so important to you

that I go to that class? Because it's important to Mallory.

And if it's important to Mallory, it's important to me.

And if it's important to me, it's important to the world.

I shall spend the winter in Minnesota.

Now, what's the personal pronoun in that sentence?

Personal pronoun.

Come on, Nick. The word that refers to the person speaking.

That would be me, Nick.

I is the personal pronoun.

That'd be you, Alex.

Come on. You're not getting this at all.

I am trying to. The trouble is I am not used to dealing with words, you know?

I'm used to dealing with much bigger things like motorcycles.

Okay, Nick. All right.

Let's put this into terms that you can relate to.

A sentence is used like a motorcycle.

Uh -huh. Okay?

It's not going to work if it doesn't have all the right parts.

Now, every sentence needs a noun, right? That's the word that all the other

words revolve around.

So what part would that be in a motorcycle?

Ha!

Tasty.

Good. Okay, great. Now, you also need a verb.

Right, to show what action takes place in the sentence. Now, what makes a

motorcycle move?

Engine.

Okay. All right, okay.

You starting to understand what I'm talking about now?

No, but I'm having more fun.

The rose is beautiful.

Nouns. Rose.

Adjective? Carburetor.

Nick. Ah, I'm just fooling you, Pete.

In the sentence, the rose is beautiful, the adjective is beautiful.

Beautiful.

Hey, you look kind of cute sitting up there on my bike wearing my jacket.

I bet you'd get thrown out of your fraternity for looking like that.

Nick, I get thrown out of my fraternity just for being in this neighborhood.

We're from two different worlds, aren't we, Alex?

At least.

I've seen your type before.

We used to have a name for guys like you in high school.

Student.

You're always smart, weren't you, Alex?

From day one, Nick.

Yeah, I remember when I was a baby.

Lying in my crib, looking up at my parents, thinking, you people have a lot

learn.

Scary thing is, I just kept getting smarter.

Every day, I'd think, is as smart as a human being can get.

And the next day, I'd be smarter.

And I'd look back and say, how could you be so stupid?

All I remember is lying there in my crib thinking, what the hell am I doing

here?

Hour to the test. You gonna be ready?

I don't know, Alex. You know, I got all these little words running around in my

head trying to figure out where they belong.

I hope they all just don't panic and run away before the test.

They're not going anywhere, Nick.

They belong to you now.

And I'm gonna take very good care of them. Especially the verbs, because

such busy little words.

Gotta hand it to you, Nick.

Really, you've learned more in one night than a lot of people learn in a whole

semester. This is what it's like to be a smart guy like you.

Somebody asks you a question, you know the answer.

No wonder you like yourself so much.

Oh, it's 11 o 'clock. The test has been over for an hour. Where is he?

I don't know. Maybe he got stuck in traffic.

Oh, the least he can do is cough.

He knows we're waiting here on pins and needles.

Don't worry. I'm sure we'll hear from him.

I should have gone there. I could have waited outside. That way I could have

been the first one to see his face, to know how he was feeling. This is Nick

talking about.

I lost my mind from not enough sleep.

Any word from Nick yet? No.

Well, Andy bought him a special present.

Come on, Andy.

What happened to Nick's lollipop?

It was a long ride home.

Alex, you look terrible. Why don't you get some sleep?

I can't sleep until I know what happened to Nick.

Let's see how close you and Nick are becoming.

Wait a minute.

Look, Nick and I are not now.

Nor will we ever be close.

Nick, where have you been?

Nick Verdine, how'd you do on the test?

I passed!

C -minus, he passed!

Nick, you're a genius.

I am so proud of you. And you too, Alex.

You really came through for me, pal. I appreciate it.

Hey.

That is an interjection.

Whoa. An exclamation.

Stop it. An imperative.

I've created a monster.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.