All language subtitles for Family Ties s05e03 My Back Pages

I bet we've been together for a million
years.

And I bet we'll be together for a
million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the
night we kissed.

And I can't remember what I ever did
before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do?

Without us And there ain't no nothing We
can't love

each other through What would we do,
baby Without us

Sha -la -la -la

Permanent edition.

Because if it is, I'm getting out my
bombs are people to throw pillows.

The banner's a surprise from Matt. We
had this hanging in our dorm room at

Berkeley. It's a little outdated, isn't
it?

Well, maybe the slogans are different
now, but the concept is the same.

No, I meant the concept.

Alex, don't you ever worry about the
fact that there are enough bombs in the

world to destroy every living creature
and wipe out life as we know it?

Hey, I got bigger things on my mind.

Can I use the business section here,
Mom?

Then we need to tell Matt he's one of
the neighbor children.

It's just so predictable, that's all.

Every time one of these ex -hippies
comes prancing in from yesteryear, we

get out the love beads.

Put on the ponchos.

Pretend we care about people.

I'm just a little too old for that
stuff.

Alex, Matt's an old friend of mine. He's
only going to be here a week. Be nice.

You've got the whole rest of the year to
not care about people.

He'll probably like Matt. He's a prize
-winning journalist.

He's a world traveler. He's even written
two books on economics.

No kidding?

Which ones?

Capitalism Don't Make Me Laugh.

And capitalism don't make me laugh part
two.

How long is that going to be there?

As long as it takes to raise the
consciousness of some of the people in

house. Yeah, Mom.

Is he going to be like this the whole
time his friend's here?

Probably, but if you have to talk to
him, try not to say anything too

I can handle that.

I know you can.

to take you into the park. Hey, hey,
hey. Don't get it back too late. A

show's on tonight.

What's his favorite show?

White Street Week.

What?

I didn't put him up to that. He came up
with that on his own.

Alex, the only show he's allowed to
watch on television is Sesame Street.

You're right. You're right. Andy, go
ahead. Play with the other kids.

Bye -bye. Goodbye, darling. I'll tape it
for you.

Stephen, my man! How you doing?

It's been too long.

You remember this lady? Of course.

I believe she would look great.

Welcome, Matt.

Welcome to our house, Matt.

I don't think you know Alex and Mallory.

Good to meet you.

Oh.

Hi.

So, uh, you, uh, you notice anything
familiar in the house?

Band of bomb!

Wow! Our old banner!

Uh, maybe Matt would like to hang that
in his hotel room. Uh, no thanks. I

already have one up.

You have the travel -sized banner?

You know, it's funny that you have this
up tonight, Steve, because I brought a

little blast from the past, too.

The scavenger. I can't believe it.

A magazine for the discriminating
revolutionary.

I don't suppose there are any good diets
in there.

It was a political magazine, honey. In
fact, Matt and your dad were the editors

when they were in college.

It was an awfully good magazine.

Shame it folded. Oh, it's great to see
this. Alex destroyed all of our copies

when he was two. He found them
politically offensive.

Hey, you have no proof that was me.

You left your rattle on the bookcase.

Could have been some other baby's
rattle.

It was your Nixon rattle.

I don't think I've ever eaten a finer
meal.

Look, Stephen cooked dinner tonight.

We're all going to die.

Don't worry, man. I've learned to cook
since we lived together. Well, I

sincerely hope so, because the last time
I ate your cooking, I was moved to go

on a 30 -day fast.

I thought you were fancying to protest
the Vietnam War.

I didn't want to hurt your feelings.

Just for the record, was there anything
you guys didn't protest in college?

I thought the Peace Corps was a nice
idea.

Peace Corps was good.

That's it?

The music was good.

How many roads must a man walk down
before they call him a

man?

Starting again.

I know this is bad. Usually the Dylan
songs don't come out till the second

Alex, come quick.

Go close out 415.

Thank

you

for having him.

done with the dishes here. Is there
anything else you need us to clean up?

no, no. Everything looks great. Listen,
since Matt is here, it's a very special

night, so I'm going to bring out the old
Berkeley slides to show.

As a treat.

It's good to see the scavenger here. I
remember passing this out around campus.

Steve, do you ever, uh, do you ever miss
working at the magazine?

Do I miss being an overworked, underpaid
social outcast? Who wouldn't?

You know, I think it was the single most
important journalistic experience of my

career. That's really surprising, coming
from someone who's written for the New

York Times and the Village Voice, the
Washington Post.

Yeah, but the scavenger was different.
It was ours. It was mine and Stephen's.

It was so pure.

Those were special times, weren't they?
Very special.

You remember how we used to dream that
somehow we'd get the money together to

start the scavenger up again?

Yeah, what a fantasy that was.

Welcome to Fantasyland, guys.

It's a check for $50 ,000.

You remember Howie Wardell?

Trust fund Wardell?

Sure. His uncle finally died and he's
coming to his money. He was a big fan of

the scavenger and he wants us to start
it up again. You're kidding.

Just the beginning, Steve. We can do it
right this time. That $50 ,000 to make

the magazine the dream we always knew it
could be.

Oh, the zeros just fell off.

What kind of a magazine can we make for
$5?

So what do you say? Come on, man. Are
you in?

Oh, I don't know. It's a big decision.

Gavinger, how long has it been? 20
years?

Well,

there it is.

What do you think?

It's beautiful, Louise.

And so are you.

Will you go out with me Saturday night?

Dating is so reactionary, Stephen.

Sunday night?

I apologize for my co -editor, Elise.
He's an old -fashioned romantic.

Oh, that's okay.

He's kind of cute.

See?

I knew it.

She likes me. Elise Donnelly likes me.

I'm the happiest guy in the world.

Stephen, when are you going to learn how
to type?

I assume you're writing a paper about
Martin Luther King, not Martin Luther

Kong.

Forget the typos. What did you think of
the article?

I thought it was brilliant. I think it's
the best thing you've written yet.

Thank you, Matt.

You know, Stephen, if we can keep this
level of writing up, the scavenger will

be a major force in this country. When I
think about what we're trying to do

here, it's just so overwhelming.

We're trying to stop war, poverty,
injustice, oppression. We're trying to

the world.

And I asked myself, how is one little
magazine going to do all of that?

And then I realized that if I tell
myself I can't, I won't.

But if I tell myself I'll try, then
maybe, well, just maybe I will.

That's a wonderful way to look at
things, Stephen.

And that's why I'm going to ask you
again.

Will you go out with me, Ali?

Let's change the world first.

Then we'll talk.

But it has to be Stephen's decision.

Honey?

I promised you I'd change the world,
Elise.

I'm going to do it.

And so the little rabbit said, How come
you're so big and I'm so small?

And the cow said, Because you're a
rabbit and I'm a cow.

Is it safe?

What do you mean, is it safe?

I mean, are Dad and Matt here?

No. Then it's safe.

But it is not that bad.

Oh, Mom, come on. Ever since he started
working with that magazine, he's become

harder and harder to live with. He's
just a little more immersed in politics

than he used to be.

Well, why can't he be like other fathers
and take up golf?

Andy, why are you wrapping your bread up
in your napkin?

Because Daddy says Americans eat too
much.

You're not going to believe where I
found these.

Where? The garbage.

We're a recycling family.

No aluminum cans in the garbage.

Who's responsible for this?

Uh -oh.

I'll talk to him later.

Who's, uh...

Who's having the English muffins?

Uh -oh.

Well, I thought we'd been through this.

No English muffins while the British are
occupying Northern Ireland.

Well, how are you now, Dad? When are
they leaving?

I know this may seem extreme, but you
must understand that all your actions,

even eating, have political
repercussions.

Just wanted to have breakfast, Dad. We
didn't want to hurt anybody.

I was a little over the line there,
wasn't I?

No, no. If you didn't say something, I
was going to.

Is this today's mail? Yeah.

Hey, hey, look at this.

Our first letter to the editor. We
haven't even started publishing The

yet, and we're already causing a stir.

Let's hear it.

Dear editors, how dare you reopen with
this left -wing propaganda drivel, which

was out of date and irrelevant even when
first published. Why don't you grow up,

get real jobs, and leave America alone?

Signed, Alex P. Keaton. The

first issue is

key. There's going to be a lot of
attention focused on it, and we have to

it count.

What do you think of organizing a
demonstration to coincide with the first

of The Scavenger? That's good. That's
very good. And with a little luck, if

demonstration goes smoothly, we'll all
get arrested.

That's not as good.

Come on, Steven. Don't be a dick in the
mud. You used to love getting arrested.

Your tastes change as you get older.

Getting arrested is way down on my list
now. Right below being shipwrecked.

We've been at this a long time today.
We're all a little tired. Let's just

a little break here, okay?

Great. Good idea.

Listen, Stephen, have you had a chance
to look over the article I wrote yet?

Oh, just briefly. I haven't really given
it a thorough read yet. Well, let me

know when you do. I'm really excited
about it. Oh, I will. Thanks.

Open up, please.

It's getting you in the mood, Dad.

Cut it out, Alex.

Is this a good time to visit your
office? Of course. Come in. Come in.

Dad, I know we weren't real supportive
about you working on the magazine, so we

brought you an office -warming gift to
make up for it. You didn't have to do

that. Hey, hey, Dad, that's for me, too.

Hope it fits.

A dictionary.

And just my size.

You said you were getting him a sweater,
ma 'am.

Next time, chip in.

Oh, Cameron, I'd like you to meet my
family. That's my wife, Elise, and Alex,

Mallory, Jennifer, Cameron Wallace.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Cameron
Wallace?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Didn't you organize the Washington Labor
Day rallies in the early 70s? That's

right. Well, it's good to know that kids
today are aware of some of the things

we did for the cause back then.

Wasn't the FBI looking for you?

Oh, he really knows his stuff.

You have the right to remain silent.

Should you give up that right, anything
you say can and will be held against you

in a court of law.

Alex! Is he serious?

Alex is kind of a law and order buff.

Well, you don't have to worry, Alex. All
of us dangerous fugitives were pardoned

a while back. We're completely legal.

I'm keeping my eye on you, Wallace.

Don't leave town.

Mom, we have to pick up Andy.

Oh, yeah. Probably on the way here
anyway. Thanks for coming, honey. Bye

Bye, Dad. See you later, Mel.

Thanks. Bye -bye.

See you later.

What are you working on here? Oh,
nothing, nothing. Just an article Matt

I'm having a few problems with it.

A few problems?

You've crossed out everything but the
title.

Anarchy, the sane solution.

What did he think about your article
about the Democrats' chances in 88?

He, uh, felt it was too long.

Are you two all right? No, I don't know.

It's just that Matt and I were always of
one mind about everything.

Now we can't seem to agree about
anything.

Well, maybe it's going to take you a
while to get back in sync.

Hey, Mom, come on. Stop fraternizing
with the radicals.

Yeah.

Hey.

So you found a lot of typos in my
article, Steve.

Oh, don't look at that, Matt. I haven't
had a chance to really go over it. What

else can you do to it? Set it on fire?

You don't have to be defensive, Matt.
I'm just giving you constructive

criticism. You annihilated my article,
Stephen.

You didn't exactly give mine a ringing
endorsement.

Let's just face it, huh? These two
articles have no place in the same

Mine belongs in the scavenger. Yours
belongs in good housekeeping right next

20 things to do with pineapple.

Hey, guys.

Hey, what's going on? Oh, we're just
talking about Steve's article.

What'd you think of it?

I see you both have the abridged
version.

It's just that it's a little
reactionary.

I mean, you're suggesting that people
actually go out and vote for one of the

two prevailing parties.

Now, come on, man.

The only vote that counts is a vote
against the system.

I disagree. I think voting makes a real
difference. It's part of our civic

responsibility. Come on, Steve. You're
beginning to sound like a member of the

PTA.

I am a member of the PTA.

You know, it's hard to believe you were
the guy that wrote the landmark article.

The two -party system, Tweedledum and
Tweedledee. That was 20 years ago.

have changed.

Just what is it we're trying to do here?

Put out a thoughtful, intelligent
magazine or get up in a soapbox and

stale rhetoric? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Stale rhetoric?

Is that what these issues seem like to
you now?

Some of them, yes. They just don't ring
true to me anymore. Things aren't as

black and white as they used to be. I
don't understand your attitude, Stephen.

No, I don't think you do. I don't think
you understand anyone's attitude but

your own. At least I have an attitude.

At least I am prepared to speak up for
what I think is right. No, Matt, what

you're prepared to do is shout down
anybody who disagrees with you.

I'm going to tell you one thing, and I'm
not shouting out here, Stephen.

If you don't believe we should print my
article...

You have no business working on this
magazine.

Maybe I don't.

You've changed, man.

You have really changed.

You know, somewhere along the line,
Stephen Keaton disappeared, and some

stranger took his place.

And I'm going to tell you something,
man. It's a damn shame.

Because Stephen Keaton was one of the
great ones.

I took seven fairy tales and a stock
market lecture from Alex to get Andy to

to sleep tonight.

I'm sorry you argued with Matt.

At least have I changed.

Am I the same person I was when you
first met me?

I don't know. I think your social
conscience has held up pretty well.

Right. And the tax credit from Amnesty
International proves it.

Well, actually, we didn't give this
year. We needed the money for Andy's

preschool.

This wasn't a good time to tell me that.

Sorry. You still respect me, Elise?

Stephen! Humor me, Elise. I'm going
through a personal crisis here.

Okay, I'll say one thing on that
subject. I shouldn't even need to say

You do make a statement, Stephen.

You make a statement by the way you live
your life.

By the way you raise your children. By
choosing a job that doesn't compromise

your principles.

Those are political acts as strong as
anything that you ever did back at

Berkeley.

Honey, you're just one of the most
committed and caring men I know.

And you have a wonderful wife.

I already know that.

Hey. Hey, Alex.

Listen, I heard what happened, and I
know how tough that must have been for

Well, thanks, Alex. I know we differ on
these issues, but I appreciate your

support. Listen, Dad, over the years,
you and I have searched for some

common political ground.

We searched.

And searched.

Searched.

And even though we haven't agreed on
anything yet.

I really respect your ideals.

You know?

And the fact that you respect mine.

You set a good example.

I mean, who knows?

Maybe 20 years from now, I'll look back
on the things that I believed in when I

was 20, and I'll think that I was...
Nah.

You never know, Alan. Alex, you may feel
different when you hit 40.

Oh, trust me, Dad.

I know what it's like to be 40.

Aren't you guys finished yet?

I practically had to promise the printer
my first four installments. I'm not

sure how I feel about that.

I said my firstborn son, not our
firstborn son.

You never give up, do you? Nope.

I have our future planned down to the
smallest detail.

I even know what our son's name is going
to be.

You want to hear what it is? No.

What is it?

Freedom.

Freedom P. Keaton.

I like that.

We'd have wonderful children.

They'd pick up the struggle for...

Peace and social justice where we leave
off.

We'll all live in the country on a
commune with all of our friends and

children and lots of animals and their
children.

We'll grow our own food and we'll make
our own clothes.

Live off the land.

Before we start this family, we have a
magazine to get out, Keaton.

Boy, it's going to be tough getting work
done around this office.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.