Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years And I bet we'll be

together for a million more Oh, it's like I started breathing

on the night we kissed And I can't remember what I ever

did before What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do?

Without us And there ain't no nothing We can't love

each other through What would we do, baby Without us

Sha la la la

Well, hey there, Mom.

How's it going, son?

Oh, just fine, Dad. Top of the world.

Who are you kidding, Alex? We've been out for over an hour and you haven't

from the table.

I moved. I moved while you were out.

You didn't see me.

Alex, I cannot stand watching you pine away like this.

You have had more than enough time to absorb the fact that Ellen is gone.

And you should be happy for her. She won a dance scholarship.

Good!

She's gone to Paris. Great.

Now is the time for Alex Keaton to get on with his life.

Look, I'm getting on with my life. I'm doing a fine job of getting on with my

life. Honey, you haven't left the house in almost a month.

I like it here.

It's cozy.

You're not sleeping, and you look so thin. You're not eating.

Okay, okay, I haven't been sleeping.

But I have been eating.

I just had a cornflake.

I just want to take you and shake you.

Please don't. I just ate.

Oh, Alex, it's good to see you finally out of your room. Good for you.

All right. All right. Okay, look.

Will everybody stop talking to me like I'm a flood victim?

Now I am fine.

Ellen's gone. That's true.

And it's over, and that's true, too. But when I'm good and ready, I'm going to

get up. I'm going to pick another Ellen off the girl tree and live happily ever

after.

Girl tree?

Sorry, Mom.

The woman tree.

Where did you get these ideas?

Don't look at me. I told him we met under a tree. He must have... He

misunderstood.

You know, I could fix you up, Alex.

There's one of my friends I don't like very much. She'd be perfect for you.

Thanks, Mel. That's sweet.

But any girl I date has to be able to speak in complete sentences.

Oh, then she's wrong for you.

Hey, hey, Alex. Alex.

Hey, come here.

Hey, hey, hey.

Come over here.

Boy, where you been hiding? You know, I haven't seen you since Ellen dumped you.

I mean, since she left.

Yeah, well, I haven't had a whole lot of free time.

They're busy, school, work, clubs.

Mallory said you were locked in your room crying your eyes out.

Yeah.

That had nothing to do with Ellen.

The stock market dropped two points.

Went to pieces.

Come on, Allie.

We've known you for a long time.

You can be open with us. We're your friends.

We're here for you.

And we're going to be here for you.

All right.

All right.

I guess it's about time I talked to somebody about this.

See, the truth is, I never loved anybody as much as I loved Emily. Sorry, Alex.

We gotta go.

Well, thanks for letting me get that off my chest, guys.

I haven't opened up like that in a long time.

Girls, you know Alex Keaton?

Alex Keaton? You're the one whose girlfriend dumped you, right?

I'm sorry, have we met?

I'm Rene Crawford, and this is Margie Hanley.

Hi. We haven't been formally introduced, but I heard about the dumping.

See you, Alex.

Bye.

Hey, Alex.

What's it going to be?

Oh, hi, Sharon.

Nothing. Thanks. I'm just going to lean here if that's okay.

Haven't seen you around here in a while.

Oh, that's because I've been too busy getting dumped.

Yeah, I heard about that.

Who hasn't?

Attention all Eland students. Alex P. Keaton has been officially dumped.

We know.

and I were in a couple of classes together.

I used to watch you two in here. You were a great couple.

Yeah, well, I'm not the kind of guy to dwell on the past.

No, sir. No, I got my whole life ahead of me.

My whole lonely, miserable life.

Alex, you know what I do when I'm really depressed?

I put on my pajamas, I turn on some really head -banging music, and I scream

the top of my lungs till the cops break down the door.

No kidding.

That's exactly what I do.

No, you?

I never pictured you as a head -banging kind of a guy.

Oh, come on.

Constant headache.

I would have picked you as more a big lover of elevator music.

I like it.

I know around here I might...

I appear like a, you know, a pretty clean -cut guy, but at home?

Forget about it. Complete lunatic.

You're a kick, Alex.

You're really funny.

I guess I always just thought of you as a customer. You know, burger, fries,

shake, receipt for tax purposes.

You know, I guess I always thought of you as just a waitress.

You'd take the order, bring it out, smile in hopes of getting a big tip.

Never quite worked with you, though, did it?

I don't know, Sharon, I'm always up there four or five percent.

You know, you're a really interesting girl.

And you're very hip.

You're almost as hip as I am.

How come we've never had this conversation before?

You were always in here with Ellen.

Well, we got rid of her, didn't we?

This is a great -looking room.

Well, thanks. I decorated it myself.

This is where I like to do all my headbanging and dancing and screaming.

Why don't you get some of those records you promised so we can do some

headbanging and screaming right now?

You're on, little girl.

I'm happy to your jive.

Oh, hello.

I'm Stephen Keaton. Hi, I'm Sharon McElroy, friend of Alex's.

Well, isn't that nice?

I'm very pleased to meet you. Oh, Elise, this is Sharon McElroy, a friend of

Alex's and a girl. Hi.

Stephen, she's a girl.

Yay!

Well, I see we've met.

Yes, we have.

And now your mother and I are going to leave you two alone, and we're going to

go into that kitchen and make ourselves some... Soup!

Soup!

Right you are, madame.

Soup it is. Give this woman the ladle of her choice.

Yeah, okay.

I seem very happy.

They might quite possibly be senile.

But I love them, and I'll never put them in a home.

Listen, my sister's room was locked, so I couldn't get any of my favorite heavy

metal platters, but these should put us in the mood.

Alex, these are learn -to -type records.

What do we care? We'll be so busy screaming.

You're right, Dad. She's a girl.

Does your family get out much?

Not enough.

Listen, Sharon, I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me tomorrow night?

Sounds like fun.

How does tomorrow night at 7 sound?

Perfect. Listen, I've got to get going.

Peter Brunet? Yeah, great.

Till then.

Okay, all right. The dream lives on.

She's very nice.

You won't believe it. I asked her out.

She said yes. Whoa!

I can't believe it.

I am in love again.

That didn't take long at all.

This is it. I know the feeling. I've been here before. She's exactly like

Ellen liked art. This one likes music. What's the difference?

I'm in love again.

Whoa!

What?

What was I so worried about? This is a snap. I could teach a course in this.

I'm happy for you too, honey.

Hey, Mom.

What'd I tell you?

About the girl tree?

Come on, Mom.

The girl tree is in bloom.

And it's full of ripe, beautiful, shiny girls.

In fact, girl tree is a misnomer, Mom.

There's a girl orchard out there.

And, Mom, it's harvest time.

Hey, honey.

Where's everybody?

Well, Andy was tired, so I put him to bed early. And the girls are... are up

there helping Alex get ready for his big date with Sharon.

Yes, tonight's the night. Our boy goes out again.

I tell you, it's nice to see him so excited again. He has that warm glow

gets after a Reagan press conference.

Ooh, sounds serious.

They said it couldn't be done, not in our lifetime.

But ladies and gentlemen, the Keaton Sisters Productions proudly presents the

king of hipness himself, Alex P. Keaton.

Wow.

What

it

is.

Check it out.

I've lost my mind.

This is fabulous.

It's rad or schmad or just

plain bad.

Whatever means groovy these days. But why the drastic change in style?

Well, simple, Dad. I mean, Sharon is a very hip girl. I got to get out there

be hip, too.

Alex, show him the walk.

God, I look good.

Yeah.

I think it looks great.

It is so good to see you so enthusiastic and so hip.

We've been worried about you, Alex. You haven't been yourself.

Oh, those, uh... Those days are over, Dad. I'm through feeling sorry for

I'm ready to rock and roll. That's my boy!

Hey, Dad. Dad. Have you, uh, have you seen the body on Sharon?

Oh, yes!

No!

No! No, I must have missed it.

Did she have a body?

You know, it's amazing when you think about it. She's been on my note this

time. My perfect female, my ideal match.

She's hip. I'm hip.

It's unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

And to top it off, we both love heavy metal music.

You don't love heavy metal music.

For her.

I love it for her.

Well, personally, I hate it, but she doesn't love that.

The old Alex is back.

I'm hip. I'm cool.

I'm a happening fool.

You look very beautiful tonight, Sharon.

Thank you.

When you smile like that, I get goosebumps up and down the back of my

I'm glad.

Thanks. Sharon, do me a favor.

Let your hair down.

I'm trying to be as open with you as I can, Alex.

No, I mean your actual hair.

Let it kind of fall down over your shoulders.

Okay. If you like.

Great. Great. Good. Your hair looks great like that.

Thank you.

Sharon, I'll... Would you mind putting on these glasses?

Alex, please.

Stop. I know what you're doing.

What? What am I doing?

You're trying to make me look like Ellen.

Oh, nothing could be further from the truth.

I just wanted to see how you looked in those glasses.

Well, I don't need glasses. I have perfect wisdom.

Sure, now.

But as you get older, your eyesight fails, and I just wanted you to have

glasses ready. It was a surprise, but now you've ruined it.

Hey, Alex, Ellen.

You're not Ellen.

No, she's better than Ellen.

She's Sharon.

Oh, you know, if you put those glasses on, you could be Ellen.

Leave her alone. She's got a thing about it.

I'll have the chicken pizzaiola and the veal florentine for the lady.

Um, I don't really like veal. I think I'll have the chicken pizzaiola, too.

Is something wrong?

We're both having chicken.

That's so terrible.

Well, we just won't be able to share.

That's all. I mean, that was always my favorite part of the meal. I'd order the

chicken, and Ellen would order the veal, and then halfway through, we'd shut our

change plates.

And we'd switch.

We could still do that.

What would be the point? We're both having chicken.

The Grinch who stole Christmas.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Look, let's just forget about all that, okay? We're here to have a

good time.

Time for that.

What's that you're wearing?

Just some perfume. It's nothing special.

Try this.

Oh, Ellen. I know what you're doing.

You're trying to make me smell like Ellen.

Gee, Sharon, are you always this sensitive?

Yeah, with that smell, it could be Ellen.

Don't you see what's going on here, Alex?

You've just come off a very successful, long -standing relationship with a

woman, and you're looking for someone to replace her.

Someone to talk like her and dress like her and be her.

You're right.

You're right.

throw you up for it.

When you're interested in me, give me a call.

You're home early.

Boy, was I wrong about Sharon. She's not at all who I thought she was.

Oh, no. We were doing so well.

She seemed so right for us.

She didn't look right. She didn't act right.

She didn't order right.

It was nothing at all like the dates I used to have with Ellen.

Well, let's face it, Alex.

Sharon is not Ellen.

Why didn't she tell me that before?

How could she lead it on like this?

Maybe some of this is our fault, Alex.

Maybe we were pushing you into dating before you were really ready.

We just wanted you to be happy, you know, or at least get up from the

table.

There ought to be a store.

store. You can just walk in and they got women in different categories.

And you can just pick the one you want.

Well, there are such places, but they're illegal in this day.

How could she leave me?

We really loved each other.

We were a team.

I sat through foreign films for her.

I went to poetry readings for her. I sat through foreign films about poetry

readings for her.

Nobody knew me like she did.

Nobody.

Honey, finding someone and having a true loving

relationship is so rare.

It's something to be looked at with awe because so few people find it. Do you

understand?

It just doesn't happen as conveniently as you'd like it to.

So don't rush, okay?

Take your time and feel good about the good things about yourself.

Because you are really something.

I am.

I really am.

Well, come on, let's go up, huh?

Yeah, I'll be up in a minute. All right.

Thanks.

What did you think I would do at this moment

When you're standing before me

Tears in your eyes trying to tell me that you have

found you another and you just don't

love me no more.

Dear Ellen, how was Europe?

Actually, I don't want to know.

I'm not talking to Europe.

What I want you to know is that I love you as much as I can love anyone.

And then I was lying when I said it was fine with me for us to see other people.

But I realize now it was for the best.

I can't live in the past.

And so I started dating again.

And it's gone.

Incredibly well.

I'm moving on, Ellen.

But I know I came out of our relationship richer for the experience.

When I say richer, I don't mean financially.

Probably the same for you.

I wish you well.

Don't eat too many croissants.

I hope you become the greatest dancer in the world.

Your pal.

No.

Your son.

No.

Love, Alex.

I could just hope

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.