Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years.

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed.

And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Well...

Is the revolution tonight?

Why wasn't I informed?

Because we're coming to get you, Alex.

Well, what do you think?

They're authentic paratrooper jump pants.

I hope your chute opens.

It's okay, Dad. I'm not wearing them for you. I'm wearing them for Nick.

See, if Nick camouflages a big turn on... Well, then this Nick is definitely

kind of guy.

I'm meeting this Nick. It's been three weeks now. We haven't even seen him.

He'll be here any minute. Oh, good. I'd like to meet this Nick, too. Me, too. I

mean, we've heard so much about this Nick.

Will everyone stop calling him this Nick?

He's his Nick. Just plain Nick.

Unless I'm wrong, it's just plain Nick on a Kawasaki 750 Turbo.

Valerie!

Hey!

really anxious to meet all of you.

Nick! Come on in, Nick!

Do I have to?

He seems anxious to meet us.

I don't know about you, but I am keeping an open mind about this.

It just closed.

Nick Moore. I'd like to meet my parents, Elise and Stephen Keaton.

Nice to meet you, Nick. It's a pleasure having you here.

Hey.

It is nice to meet you, finally. I've heard an awful lot about you.

Hey.

My brother and sister, Alex and Jennifer.

Hey.

How yous doing?

We's doing fine.

At least I's doing fine.

That's, uh...

It's a nice earring, Nick.

Yeah, I found it in the garbage.

Picked it up on my rounds.

Are you a garbage man?

Me? I mean, but I hope to be one one day, you know?

It's the only way to get the good garbage.

The good garbage.

How do you distinguish that from the bad garbage?

You gotta have an eye for it.

I'm not sure I understand.

I am like what they call an environmental artist. I make things out

garbage, junk.

You'd be amazed at the things you could make from garbage. You see this hat?

I made this hat from garbage.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

And the mama bird flies back to the nest.

And the baby bird opens up his mouth so big. Open up your mouth, Andrew. Would

you open up your mouth? Andrew, would you open up your mouth? Hey, Mom, Mom,

take it easy.

Well, you were always such a good baby bird. You always opened up your mouth so

big.

Mom, you're losing your mind.

And you show him how a good baby bird loves to eat. Yes. Mama, I'm not going

show him. Come on, Alex. You're his big brother. He's getting what he's getting.

No, this is ridiculous. Show him.

Okay.

Watch Alex, Andrew.

Okay. Now the mama bird.

This one's had it.

Oh, Dad, it's you.

I thought it was Nick.

Oh, no, no, no. It's just me.

Stephen Keaton, a non -criminal.

You going out with Nick again tonight?

Yeah.

Well, this will be four nights in a row.

Yeah, well, he's going to help me study.

Well, there go your hopes for a D.

says my name.

I'm coming!

Well, Elise, what are we going to do about this?

What do you mean?

What do you mean? What do I mean? We have a crisis on our hands. What crisis?

Elise, our daughter's dating Rambo.

Oh, Steve, I think you're overreacting. Dad, you are absolutely right. You've

got to stamp this out. You've got to stop this before it spreads.

Alex, I take no comfort from the fact that we are on the same side in this.

Kind of unnerving, isn't it?

Oh, come on to bed, Stephen.

How can you sleep when you know she's out there in the middle of the night

him? Does it look like I'm sleeping?

We've told him.

Mallory, home early.

We made it very clear, remember?

I drew him a little picture.

He grunted.

You're just getting upset, honey. It's not going to do you any good. I am

I've had enough. Mallory's got to stop seeing Nick.

That's really something, Stephen.

I remember before we were married, you said, if we ever have children, I'm not

going to tell them what to do. And they're going to have minds of their

I take it back.

At least nothing I said before right now has any bearing.

I'm not anything I used to be. I gave all that up to become a father. I'm

nothing else now, just a father.

Well, Father, if you lay down the law and you tell Mallory that she can't go

with Nick, she's going to get angry and she's going to say, I'm going to be 18,

I can do what I want, and you can't stop me.

That's what she's going to say.

No, she won't.

She would not say that to her father.

Not if I put it to her properly, forcefully, but tempered with

It's not a good idea, Stephen. Lisa, I need your support here. If Mallory

we aren't together in this, we'll be slaughtered. Stephen, we're not at war.

Oh, yes, we are, Lisa.

We're at war with Rambo.

And we can beat him.

Hi, sorry.

We lost track of time.

Good evening, Mallory.

Good evening, Mac.

Hey.

It's a little late.

Hey, this probably isn't the best time to ask, but me and Mallory want to go

away next weekend.

So I gotta know if it's okay so I can tell my cousin so he can get the truck.

Well, you see, it's an ice cream truck and he needs two days to defrost.

Not the best time to ask.

That's what I figured.

Hey, good night.

Good night, Nick.

Well, I guess I ought to go to bed.

Sit down, Mallory. We want to talk to you.

Get away. I'm really tired. Really tired.

No, no, please.

Mallory.

Your mother and I love you very, very much.

Don't we, Elise?

Of course we do.

Of course we do.

And we have really liked so many of the young men who have visited you here at

our home.

Haven't we, Elise?

We have.

Whatever happened to Walter Murchison?

We liked him so much.

A lot more than I did. I miss Walter.

Wally.

Why don't you call him up, Dad? I'm sure he'd love to hear from you.

Valerie, we want to talk to you.

About Nick.

About you and Nick.

About you and not Nick.

Wait a minute.

What is this?

Are you saying you don't like Nick?

We're forbidding you to see him. But that is what you're saying, isn't it?

We strongly recommend.

What are we saying?

All right, you can't see him!

You're saying I can't see him!

Would you like me to sing it for you?

has every right to be. She doesn't realize that I did this for her own

She doesn't understand.

You don't understand.

Nobody understands what fathers go through.

We're the unknown men.

We trudge through life, pointing the way for our families, working hard, paying

those bills, always with us. Smile on her face.

Always ready to make the tough choices.

Always there when we're needed, but completely unrecognized.

That is the biggest load of... Mothers, too!

Mothers, too! Now, you get it worse.

Completely unrecognized.

We don't do this for recognition. We are parents for crying out loud.

I guess all this is just very new to me.

Who are all these people coming to our door, wanting our daughter?

I hate them.

That's probably not the perfect attitude.

Probably not. I just don't know what to do.

You know, we don't really know this boy, Stephen.

We have no way of knowing what Nick is really like. We've had some strong

Thinks the world of him. Don't you think we at least owe it to her to give him

the benefit of the doubt? To try to get to know him better?

Well, Mallory won't talk to me.

Tried everything.

Even faked being sensitive.

No sale.

Hey, hey, hey. Come on. What is all the gloom about?

You guys should be rejoicing.

You did the right thing. Oh, don't say that. No, no, no. You, you are my

You drove the... from the village.

I salute you.

Well, don't salute us, Alex.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

You're not thinking of changing your mind. No, Dad, no, don't. Look, we

have these guys coming around here nipping around our women.

a responsible and courageous decision.

When I heard that you had told Mallory that she couldn't see Nick anymore, I

said to myself, what a dad!

Dad, I have never in my entire life been prouder of you than I am at this

moment.

Mallory, let's invite Nick to dinner.

Did you say something, Deb?

No. No, I didn't. Are you sure? It sounded like you... I just coughed.

Oh, I see.

I see.

Well, if you say something, I'm ready to respond.

Great, Dad.

I'll look forward to that.

This is really nice.

You guys, do you like this all the time?

You mean with utensils?

Don't mind Alex. He's a little strange.

He's all right.

He's a cute little guy.

He's just a little stiff is all.

You know what you could use, Alex?

No, no. What could I use, Nick?

An earring.

Yeah.

No, I don't think so.

Oh, really?

It gets you loose.

Here.

No, no, no, Nick.

I enjoy being tight.

What kind of things are you interested in, Nick? I'm interested in Mallory.

Yes, indeed.

How about school?

How about school?

Do you go to school? No.

Can you expand on that?

Yeah, like when school's on, I'm not there.

Ah.

Really, Dad, I mean, there are other things to talk about besides school.

No one's even asked him about his art. Hey, it's okay.

No, you love to talk about your art. Dad, ask him.

So, Nick, how did you get interested in this environmental art? I don't know.

Can you expand on that?

I don't know.

Very good.

back to the school issue. No, come on. Dad, Nick was talking about art.

You interrupted him. Sorry, Nick.

Didn't mean to cut you off like that.

What were you going to say after I don't

know?

I don't remember.

Yep. Now, environmental art isn't the only thing Nick knows about.

He has a wide range of interests.

Here's a thought that just occurred to me, Nick. Don't you think a person needs

an education?

Not every person. Not every person? Come on, Dad. Excuse me, Mallory. How can a

person make a living without an education?

I don't know. Why don't you ask somebody who's educated?

I don't think a person needs an education to answer that question.

Did you tell these peas are fresh?

I guess what I really want to know, Nick... Hey, look, I was invited here

meal, you know, but this doesn't feel like a meal. It feels like a test.

You know, I'm sorry I'm not the kind of guy you're looking for. I'm not smart,

I'm not cultured, and I'm not sophisticated. You know, I'm not no

Bronson.

of yourselves. You just embarrassed me in front of someone I really care about.

Hey, Mal, Mal, Mal, don't worry about it. He won't retain this night in his

memory.

You think that's all that counts, huh, Alex?

Everyone's got to be smart.

Mallory, it's for your own good.

You're a snob. You know that?

I know that.

I wanted you to see in Nick what I see in him.

give him a chance. You know, it's like you don't trust my judgment.

If this had been Alex, you would not have acted this way.

Oh, Mallory, you have to... No!

Come on, Dad!

I can't remember one time when you've interfered in Alex's personal life. Alex

can do whatever he wants. It's the way it's always been.

Mallory, if we've given Alex more freedom in his personal life, it's only

because he's a boy and you're a girl.

Go ahead. Dad, I'd like to hear the rest of that.

I can't believe you just said that, Dad.

Hang tough, hang tough. Look at you.

So, so what are you saying, Dad? I can't go out with guys for the rest of my

life? Oh, no, no, no, honey.

For the rest of my life.

I don't know, Mel. I give up. I can't defend it anymore. I know I'm on shaky

ground. What can I say?

You can say you'll let me see Nick because I care about him.

What else can I say?

Dad, I'm not blind.

You know, I can see why you don't like Nick, but I do very much.

And I'm just asking you to trust my judgment.

Mel.

All your life, I've watched over you. I've worried about you.

I've tried to protect you. Now you're getting older. It's not easy to let you

make your own decisions.

Especially when I don't agree with them.

Dad, you and Mom have taught me to be a good person.

And you've done your job.

Now you have to trust me to go out and live my own life.

I've been standing out there at the curb trying to get myself to leave, but I

can't. Well, come on in and sit down. Out there.

I've got to say something to you.

First of all, I apologize about before for being rude and running out.

I don't think you're the only one who needs to apologize here, Nick.

Elise?

Okay, look, I know I don't look like what you want, and I know I don't sound

like what you want, and maybe I'm not what you want in any way.

Maybe if I'd grown up nice and refined like Mallory and Jennifer and even Alex

there, maybe I'd feel comfortable around people like you.

And maybe if I was comfortable, I'd know what to say, but I don't.

I think you do.

No, but you've got to understand one thing.

I really like Mallory.

And I wouldn't hurt her for the world.

I'm not gonna see her if you don't want me to, but I really like her, so I hope

you don't not want me to see her.

We don't, Nick.

We don't what?

We don't not want you to stop not seeing Mallory.

Not in any way.

Huh?

I mean, as far as not seeing Mallory is concerned, we are not going to say you

cannot stop not doing that.

Let's say I wanted to see Mallory. What would happen?

Honestly, I don't know, Nick.

You can see her, right, Stephen?

Well, I guess what we're trying to say, Nick, is we do trust Mallory.

She likes you, you like her. We're not going to stand in your way.

You mean it, Dad?

I mean it, Mel.

Hey,

Dad, let's remember this night so we don't have to go through it again when

18 again.

Hey, uh, Jennifer, you know, I got this little brother at home that maybe you'd

really like.

Let's take one step at a time.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.