Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years.

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we did.

And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do, baby, without a...

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing. We can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Well, Jen.

You're all set. You've got your stuffed animals, your clock radio, and your

baseball cards. Is there anything else we can get you before we go?

Yeah. Get me out of here!

I don't want to have my tonsils out.

Honey, we've been through this. Having your tonsils out is a very simple

procedure. There's nothing to worry about.

Have you had yours out once?

No. Dad?

Oh, let's, uh... No, I've still got mine.

Mallory?

I wanted to.

Nice chatting with you. No, come on, sweetheart.

I apologize if he isn't, but is this

person related to you?

Why does everybody always ask us that?

This is our son, Alex.

See, will you let go of me now, please? With pleasure.

Alex, why are you in a white coat?

He's been making rounds.

I'm taking an informal survey of the quality of care in this institution.

My sister is going to be up there on that table tomorrow, and I want to make

sure everything is okay.

By the way, I think Mrs. Ferguson of 104 could use another 20 milligrams.

Alex!

You're going to have to leave now. Visiting hours are just about over.

Please don't tell anyone he's my brother.

They might take it out on me when I'm unconscious.

Don't worry, young lady. We are professionals.

We don't let our personal feelings interfere with our work.

Don't worry, Jennifer.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Honey, just relax and try and get some rest.

Okay? I'll try. Don't worry, Jen.

You'll be back in your own bed tomorrow night.

Sleep well. Bye.

You know, Jen, if I were you, I would stretch this thing out, you know?

I mean, have one tonsil out tomorrow, have another one out in a month or so.

You double your sympathy.

Come on, Dr. Keaton.

Yeah, I promised Mr. Ferguson I'd check on her.

Bye.

Dear diary, well, here I am in the hospital.

I'm not scared.

Well, maybe a little.

Okay, I'm petrified.

What if something happens to me?

What if I never see my family again?

I know I complain a lot to you about them, but I love them.

What if I never get to say I'm sorry for all the bad things I've done?

I don't know why I've been acting so childish lately.

Maybe it's because I'm a child.

Mallory and I used to have so much fun together when we were younger.

Now she's a lot more interested in boys and clothes than she is in me.

I guess I'm jealous.

I can understand being interested in clothes, but the part about boys, I just

don't get it.

Mallory, do you want to play checkers tonight?

Do I look like I'm dressing for checkers, Jennifer?

No, I'd say that's more of a Parcheesi outfit.

Mallory, you promised you'd play with me. I got everything already.

Jennifer, I don't have time for childish games. I have a date tonight.

Do I look all right?

Your cheeks weren't even.

What do you mean?

I mean there's more red stuff on one side than the other.

I don't have any red stuff on.

Wow, then you're really in trouble.

Jennifer, you're making me nervous.

You're always nervous before a date.

No, I'm not.

Then why'd you brush your teeth seven times in the last hour?

Maybe she's going out with a dentist.

I happen to be going out with Kevin Jenkins.

I've had a crush on him since the beginning of the year. Do you mind,

No, I don't mind.

How does Kevin feel about it?

He doesn't know.

Oh, that's Kevin. I'm not ready. What should I do?

We'll entertain him while you're making yourself presentable.

We'll set him up in the guest room.

Yo, come on in. You must be Kevin. Must be Alex.

Yeah, yeah. I guess Mallory's told you a lot about me, huh? Yeah.

How'd your shock treatments work out?

Fine. Good.

Hi, I'm Jennifer.

You're Jennifer?

You know, from the way Mallory described you, I thought you were just a baby.

That's funny, isn't it?

Yeah. Goo -goo.

Tell me, Kevin, how is it that you know our dear sister?

I sit in front of her in biology.

Mallory's had a crush on you for a long time.

Ah, Jennifer.

I didn't know that.

I don't think you were supposed to.

Oops. Silly me.

You know how us babies are.

So, where are you two young people off to tonight?

Well, I thought we'd go see the nuclear disarmament film. Mallory said she loves

documentaries.

Did she?

She also said that she's interested in a lot of the same causes that I am.

Disarmament, protecting our natural resources, improving diplomatic

with third world nations.

That's our Mallory.

So, Kevin, can I interest you in some swampland in Florida?

Kidding. Joking.

Well, I got another shock treatment. I gotta go.

Say, uh, double the voltage if you're late.

Are you saying that Mallory just pretended to be interested in those

because I am? You got it.

You mean she wouldn't be interested in a documentary on nuclear disarmament,

then? She might be interested in what the protesters are wearing.

I think I get the picture.

Hi, Kevin.

Love your sweater.

You know what I mean?

Well, Mallory, suppose you tell me where you want to go since you don't like

documentaries.

But I love... documentaries.

That's not what I hear.

Jennifer, what have you been telling Kevin?

Just making small talk.

And what kind of movies does Mallory really like, Jennifer?

Why are you asking her what I like?

Because maybe she'll tell me the truth.

What is that supposed to mean?

Well, Jennifer's been telling me quite a lot.

Oh, really?

Well, maybe you'd like to bring her along with us on the date.

Maybe I would.

I'll get my coat.

Maybe you'd rather not go out at all. Maybe you'd rather not go.

Fine, let's not go.

I have to wash my hair tonight anyway.

Me too.

I mean, I have to shave.

Again.

Well, see you around.

Yeah, we'll see you.

Ready for checkers?

That was really horrible, Jennifer.

I knew I was being horrible, but I just couldn't stop myself.

I wanted Mallory to stay home and play with me like she used to.

I wish I'd grow up already.

Then maybe I wouldn't do so many stupid things.

Like the way I blew up at Dad when he wouldn't let me have my way.

It started like any other day. Mom was late.

Mallory was looking in the mirror.

Alex was being pompous.

Hi, kids. Bye, kids. I will see you tonight. Whoa, wait a minute. Wait a

What is it, Alex?

Ma, don't you know that the key to a successful day is a good breakfast?

Girls, make your mother some breakfast.

Frankly, I just don't have time today.

Mom, can I go to the movies with Chrissy tonight?

Now, honey, you went to the movies with Chrissy last night. That was Chrissy's

birthday. It was an exception.

I don't like you going out on a school night two nights in a row.

Well, if Dad can't get up, can I go?

No, and I don't want you to ask him. I don't like it when you do that.

Now, I gotta run, honey.

Hey, Mom.

I worry about you.

I know the feeling.

Hey, morning, Dad.

Oh, hi, Alex. Hi, sweetheart.

Hi, Daddy!

them today.

Thank you, Jennifer.

No, I mean it.

You know, the way a man dresses tells us a lot about him.

That tie, for example, says that you're an open -minded individual.

That's what they say.

One tie is worth a thousand words.

Take it easy, Dad. My side hurts from laughing.

Daddy, I was thinking of going to the movies with Chrissy tonight.

You know Chrissy.

The one who thinks you're such a wonderful man.

I gotta get out of here.

Uh, what did your mother say?

Mom? I know she was talking about how happy she is being married to a man like

you.

I can't take it either.

Jennifer. You went to the movies last night. It was Chrissy's birthday.

It was an exception.

I don't want you going out two school nights in a row.

Do you and Mom rehearse?

Jennifer. Okay, we'll compromise.

If you don't want me going to the movies on a school night, I won't go to school

tomorrow. All right, that sounds reasonable.

Wait a minute.

No way, Jack. Cut it out.

I thought you guys were supposed to be so...

Sure had me fooled.

Jennifer, I thought I made myself clear. This discussion is over. You can't go.

Come on, Dad.

Chrissy's father said she could go. Well, I'm not Chrissy's father. I'm your

father. Too bad for me, isn't it?

Hold on. A minute ago, I was father of the year.

Yeah.

Dear diary, guess who?

Good guess.

I keep waking up.

I guess it doesn't matter if I'm tired in the morning because they're just

to put me to sleep again.

I sure hope my surgeon's going to get a good night's sleep, though.

I just dreamt that I went home after the operation and nobody recognized me

without my tonsils.

There's another girl living in my room who looked just like me, but she was a

lot nicer than I am.

She didn't argue with anyone, not even Alex.

You remember Alex, don't you, Diary?

Sure you do.

How could you forget him?

Girls, girls, I need your help. I need you to rehearse with me. I'm trying out

for a part in a school play.

Now, what I'd like you to do... Mallory, yo, Mallory, where are you going?

Aren't you going to help me?

No, Alex.

I have too much respect for the theater.

Besides, Gilligan's Island's on now.

Alex, why this an interest in the theater?

I have always been interested in the theater. Jennifer, the theater happens

be a link to the past.

It's an art form as old as man himself.

A continuum of Judeo -Christian amusement as we know it.

Besides, Melanie Parker is playing the female lead.

Uh, look, the, uh, the play we're doing is called A Streetcar Named Desire.

I'm trying out for the role of Stanley Kowalski.

It's a part that calls for raw, unbridled, manly passion.

Maybe they'll let you work the lights.

Jennifer, can you put down the apple, please?

Why?

Well, because you can't read lines and chew at the same time.

Brando could do it.

You're not Brando. That makes two of us.

there's still a baby.

All right, okay, all right. Why are you laughing?

Your accent.

You sound like Deputy Dog.

I happen to have a perfectly acceptable southern accent.

Susie Sperber's from Virginia, and she doesn't talk like that.

I'm not doing Susie Sperber. I'm doing Stanley Kowalski.

Look, Jennifer, this is very important to me.

Okay. Okay, all right. Listen, I'm going to go outside and pretend I'm calling

you from the street. I want you to stand right here and pretend you're answering

me from the balcony.

Gotcha, Stanley.

Okay.

Hey there, Stella Bybee.

I'm sure he's not a normal person, but he's a good brother.

Stella!

He always helps me when I need it.

Mom said I should be nicer.

She's right.

I think I feel worse of all about the way I treated her.

It's not easy for her going back to work after all these years.

I haven't made it any easier.

I hope you like this.

I've never made souffle before.

No kidding.

Is there a power saw in the garage?

I'm sure we'll love it.

Won't we, kid?

Well, I suppose it's within the realm of possibility.

the water, please?

Thank you.

I think you went a little overboard on the pepper, Mallory.

I only put in a cup.

Boy, if Mom keeps working through dinner, we're all gonna lose a lot of

I'm gonna get some leftovers from the fridge.

Jennifer, your mom's working very hard now. I'm sure she'd rather be home for

dinner. But it's a new job, and there's a lot for her to learn.

Yeah, Jennifer, once she knows her job is secure, she can slack off.

You know, Mallory, in your own unwitting fashion, you just explained why

socialism can never work.

I wish Mom were home more often.

I keep forgetting what she...

That's her, Jennifer.

My, what a day.

The computer kept printing out football standings instead of floor plans.

And then on the way home, Stephen, the car started acting up. Will you take a

look at it, please? It's in the engine, but it's spreading.

We're having leftovers tonight, Mom. I kind of ruined dinner.

But I'll make it up to you when I cook breakfast tomorrow.

Did I mention I'm having breakfast in Europe tomorrow?

Looks like somebody forgot to do the breakfast dishes. Whose turn was it?

Mine. Oh.

Why didn't you do them?

Guess I forgot.

Oh, it's your responsibility to remember.

What's the difference?

You're gone all day. Who's going to notice?

Well, just because I'm working doesn't mean you can shirk your responsibilities

here at home.

Why not?

You do.

Uh, Mallory, I think this would be a good time for you and me to be anywhere

here.

Alex, for once in our lives, I agree with you.

I think I'll go with you.

Not until you tell me what's going on.

I'm just tired of doing so many chores all the time.

Well, nobody likes chores, but everybody has to do them.

Alex and Mallory didn't have to do so many when they were my age.

We're not talking about Alex and Mallory. We're talking about Jennifer.

Since when did you care about Jennifer?

What do you mean?

Mom, if you cared about me, you wouldn't have had me left.

Jennifer!

Well, it's true.

When Alex and Mallory were young, you were always home for them.

I hardly ever see you.

Why didn't you tell me you felt like this before?

Because you were too busy.

Oh, it looks like we have a real problem. Why don't you sit down and

I don't have time. I have to do my chores.

You know, Mom, ever since you started working, it's been no fun around here.

I hope you're happy.

Poor Mom.

She got stuck with her spoiled souffle and her spoiled brat.

How could I be so selfish?

I'm so proud of her for going back to work and being so good at it.

I want to be just like her when I grow up, except for one thing.

I want a nicer daughter than me.

Well, Diary, I know one thing.

If I make it through this operation okay, which I probably won't, the first

thing I'm going to do is tell everyone in my family how sorry I am for all the

selfish things I did to them.

Oh, sure, Mallory. Go ahead and laugh.

I'm never going to be able to show my face in this hospital again, and you

it's funny.

I'm sorry, Alex. It's just I've never seen a man faint before.

There's nothing to be ashamed of, Alex. It happens to a lot of people when they

give blood.

Yeah, those two old ladies in front of me looked really woozy.

Great. The next time the family gives blood, just drop me off at the nearest

quilting bee.

Think she's waking up?

Don't try and talk. The doctors want you to save your throat.

Don't worry. Your voice will be back in a day or two.

The operation went just fine, Jennifer. The doctor said it was so easy, he could

have done it blindfolded.

In fact, he wore...

trooper. I think she wants to play charade.

Uh, writing. Writing a book. A book. A book title... From Here to Eternity.

No. Uh, no.

Uh, no. No, no to that.

Yeah, I think maybe she wants a pencil and paper.

Honey?

I didn't know you kept a diary, Jennifer. I thought I was the only one

No, no, yours is the only one we read.

You would have been a great Stanley.

Uh, thanks, Jennifer. I think I make a pretty good Alex.

What is she talking about, Alex? I don't know, Dennis. She's still under

sedation.

You look very pretty when you go out on dates.

Yeah, definitely still under sedation.

You'll have to leave now. Our patient needs her rest.

Okay. See you later, Jed.

Oh, I heard about your little mishap at the blood bank.

I hear you dropped like a stone.

Great. No, honey, no. No more games.

Just listen to the nurse and try and get some rest, honey.

We'll be back later, okay? Bye -bye.

You trying to tell me something, dear?

Oh, I see. You want to play charades.

Oh, you want me to read this?

I love you.

Well, isn't that sweet, dear? I love you, too.

Oh, I see. This is for them.

Well, I'm sure they know you love them.

We love you too, darling.

Bye, girl. Bye.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.