Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years.

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we hit.

And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do, baby, without her?

What would we do?

baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Okay,

the last question.

Nitroglycerin, calcium carbonate, and aluminum nitrate are ingredients

found in... Lasagna.

Come on, Alex. What's the real answer?

Okay, Rach. All right. I'll answer that question if you can answer this one.

Name one reason why I shouldn't kiss you.

We have to study. Your family's in the house. It's getting late. Rach, Rach.

reason.

I can't think of one.

Dynamite. Thank you. I do my best.

Alex, that was the answer.

Excuse us, excuse us. Yes, just passing through.

You can keep kissing. We're not looking.

Look, this is the fifth time you passed through here in the last hour. Do you

mind? How else are we supposed to get to the kitchen?

I can get you to the kitchen real quick.

Oh, Alex, come on. We have to concentrate.

This is our last fight.

You're right, Rach. You're right. One more test, we leave Harding High in our

dust.

Why are you going to leave?

We had some great times there.

You're right, Rach. We had some great times.

And although it's with eager anticipation that we cast our lines of

the uncharted waters of the future, it is with a heavy heart that we bid adieu

to the hallowed halls of Harding High.

You've been working on your valedictory speech, haven't you, Alex?

I admit I have worked on it a little.

It sounds great. You are going to make a great valedictorian.

Well, come on, Rach. It's not official yet. I mean, there are a lot of guys up

for it. You're up for it. Mark Blitman. The Kowalik sisters.

Face it, it's anybody's ballgame.

It'll be you.

I know.

I am a shoo -in. You know, I fed my stats into the school computer, and it

printed out, write that speech, Keaton.

Oh, I... Alex, these last four weeks have been the most exciting of my whole

life. Me too.

Wait a minute, we've been seeing each other for six weeks.

I know, but the first two were not that great.

Oh,

so how's the studying going?

We are but sponges in a sea of chemical knowledge.

I hope you'll clean up after yourselves.

Mrs. Keaton, and I know Alex is excited, too.

That's right. And although it's with eager anticipation that we cast our

of hope in the uncharted waters of our future, it is with a heavy heart that we

bid you to the house of party kind.

Seniors whose last names begin with the letters A through J, please step

forward.

You know, Rach, it's too bad our last names don't begin with the same letter.

Then we could march down the aisle together.

That's got a nice ring to it.

Now, how is it possible that I never even asked you out until a couple weeks

ago? What could I have been thinking about?

Jocelyn Clark and Dina Marks and Carrie Newman and Diana Edwards. Okay, okay,

okay, Rach.

I don't know if I should admit this, Alex, but you're my first real

Rach, I only hope I can live up to it.

I only hope that I am deserving of such a great honor. That the flame of our

spirit shall burn eternally.

Is that from your speech, too?

Seniors whose last names begin with the letters K through T, please step

forward. That's us.

Before we proceed any further with the graduation rehearsal, I'd like to make

announcement. The faculty has just chosen a valedictorian.

Oh, I'm so...

I couldn't have done it without you, Rach.

As you know, the faculty makes its selection on the basis of academic

extracurricular activities, and outstanding contributions to the school

community. So won't you join me in congratulating the brightest and best

us, our most deserving new valedictorian, Rachel Miller.

This is your big moment. I'm really happy for you. Come on up here and take

bow, Rachel.

I never even thought I was in the running.

No more pencils.

No more books.

Hi.

Let's see school.

Look, I got my final grade.

Oh, Mel, that's wonderful.

Yeah, A in French, B in English.

some other stuff.

We'll talk about that other stuff later.

How'd you do, Alex?

Four A's.

An A minus.

Honey, that is terrific.

Oh, come on, Mom.

What does it mean, really?

I am not valedictorian.

It's a hollow victory at best. It's an anti -climax.

Let's face it.

My life.

has no meaning.

Hey, I'm ready to face it. How about you guys?

Jennifer?

Okay, okay, I'm going.

Alex, now, I know you're disappointed about this valedictorian thing, but you

have got to accept the fact that you're not going to get everything you want in

life.

Being valedictorian was my destiny, and it was ruthlessly yanked from my grasp

by the cruelest of fates.

That's the spirit.

Yeah?

Alex?

Hi, Rachel.

How you doing, Alex?

Oh, fine.

Fine. Ever better.

Did you get your final grades?

Yeah.

How were they?

Oh, let's not talk about it. No, no, no. Come on, come on, come on.

How were they?

Five -eighths.

Sure, rub my nose in it.

So what's up?

Alex, I hope my being chosen valedictorian isn't going to affect our

relationship.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, of course not, loopy filly.

Smarty pants.

Alex!

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. Come on, give me credit for a little maturity here, okay?

What's that?

Well, it's just my rough draft on my speech, and I was wondering if maybe you

would take a look at it and give me your opinion.

Sure.

Why not?

Just remember, it's only a rough draft.

Split your infinitive.

Several places here. You know you do that when you speak. I noticed that

you.

Alex, what about the speech?

I mean, overall.

It's not bad.

It won't offend anybody.

I want to do more than not offend.

I want to be inspiring.

Did you think it was inspiring?

I'd hate to be sending people off to war with that.

Well, how do I make it more inspiring?

Okay, all right, Rach.

Something like this.

As we, the graduating seniors here at Harding High, attempt to go... Aren't

going to write this down?

Well, I don't want you to dictate a speech.

To me? I mean, I want your general suggestions, but I want the heart of it

my own.

Oh. Well, fine.

Just, uh, go with what you have there.

Alex.

Is, um, something wrong?

Look, Rach, what do you want from me?

You're the valedictorian. You obviously have your own ideas about what you want

to say.

Why are you even involving me in this?

Foolish enough to think that maybe you'd want to help me. If it were me, I would

help you.

If it were me, I wouldn't need your help.

Well, maybe I don't need your help either.

You do if you're going to go with that speech.

Alex, there is nothing wrong with this speech.

Okay, you're right, Ray. There's nothing wrong with that speech. Why don't you

go with that speech? I'll just walk through the audience and wake people up.

What are you doing?

Oh, just looking at some old baby pictures of Alex.

Oh, there he is with his combination slide rule teething ring.

Yeah.

He was a beautiful baby.

And tomorrow he's graduating.

It all went so fast.

Now, Elise, don't go misting up on me.

We've still got two in the nest.

I guess I should face up to the fact that he's grown up, but...

Did it have to happen so quickly?

I mean, after high school graduation, can marriage be far off?

And then children and grandchildren?

Don't put me in a hole!

Don't say anything until you see the place.

Come on, come on, Elise. You're getting a little carried away with this.

That's right.

Oh, hey, look. I got the watch back from the jeweler.

It's working perfectly now.

What a wonderful gift for Alex.

I'll never forget the day my father gave this to me.

He came home from that little dry -cleaning shop where he worked.

He put this in my hand, and he said to me, Son, I want you to have this for

graduation.

One of my customers left it in his pants.

He was all heart, my old man.

Hey.

Oh.

What are

you guys doing?

Uh, listening to music.

I don't hear anything.

Well, of course not.

The music's in our heads.

Mom, can I talk to Dad alone for a minute?

Sure, it's okay.

I'll leave you two alone.

When you were a little boy, you used to come to both of us for help.

What is it, Alex?

Dad, I... I

don't know how to say this, but, uh... Well, this isn't easy for me, but,

uh... I think the Cleveland Browns are really gonna miss Brian Seip next year,

don't you?

Uh, yes, I do.

It was very sensitive of you to keep that from your mother.

Well, I figured she's a big Browns fan and everything.

Dad, I really blew it with Rachel yesterday.

You mentioned this Brian Seip thing to her, too?

No.

We had a big fight.

This valedictorian thing really threw me off.

I was a real jerk.

Why don't you apologize to her?

Dad, don't you see? That's not going to solve the problem.

This is going to change our relationship forever.

Why, Alex?

Don't you see? He'll always be with us.

Every time I kiss her, she'll be thinking, why am I kissing this non

-valedictorian?

This is not fair.

It's not right. It's a jip.

A jip.

That's right.

You know, Alex, when you were a little boy and things didn't go your way, you

used to lie on the floor and scream.

Hold your breath and pout.

Now you're an adult. You've got to accept some things that you don't like.

You know, if it had been anyone else, I could have handled it.

Mark Blitman.

The Kowalik sisters.

But not Rachel.

My girlfriend.

I just can't feel comfortable in a relationship unless I'm number one.

It is not a competition, Alex. It is a relationship. Both partners are equal.

Dad, I know you have to use that feminist rhetoric in front of Mom.

But just between you and me, why don't you admit that you are still the man?

You're number one. I am the man, but I'm not number one, and neither is your

mother.

You can be the man without feeling you're superior to the woman.

I think you'd feel happy for Rachel.

Why should I feel happy to be in her shadow when she makes that speech

Because it's her shadow.

Every year when another class graduates, I feel like I lose a little part of

myself, and I'm not referring to my hair.

Commencement, as you know, means beginning.

Quiet down. You're disrupting the ceremony. You won't forget your years

Harding High.

And so often, graduates return to tell me how valuable they found their years

Harding.

I don't know if the caps and gowns are a tip -off, but there is a graduation

ceremony going on here.

Alex, I just saw Rachel in the ladies' room. She's really upset. You should

to her.

Wait a minute. He can't go in the ladies' room.

She's not there anymore. I think she went backstage.

She looked terrible.

She's probably nervous about her speech, and that's all.

was quite described to Mom. She couldn't remember the name of the school. She

kept saying, I'm very proud to be valedictorian of this here place.

Look, I tried to talk to her. She wouldn't see me.

Maybe you should try again.

Sir.

Me? Yes, yes.

Is there something you'd care to share with the rest of us?

No, no.

That's fine.

Thank you for asking.

Well, in that case, we'll proceed with the awarding of diplomas, followed by

the valedictory address by Rachel Miller.

Alex, talk to her!

Nancy Atherton.

Amanda Agretti.

And I think that...

Roosevelt expressed his best when he said, Oh, I wish I wore my other

I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said that.

I told you I don't want to see you anymore.

Yeah, but I want to see you.

Look, we gotta talk.

I feel terrible about what happened the other day.

Alex, in five minutes I have to do my speech and I don't have time to listen

your rationalizations.

If you really felt this bad, you would have called me before this.

Oh, I've been busy.

Doing what?

Moping.

And whining.

And generally being a real idiot.

You know, you'd be surprised how much time that takes if you want to do it

right.

Alex, you hurt me.

When I needed you, you really let me down.

I know, Rach.

When you were selected valedictorian, I lost sight of the things that were most

important.

Why does it bother you so much that I'm valedictorian?

I would have thought that you'd be happy for me.

I mean, if we're going to be a couple, we should build each other up and not

compete at everything.

I would have been happy for you.

I know.

Why do you always have to win at everything?

I have a little... problem in this area.

Alex, I don't want to compete with you at everything.

Oh, come on, Rach. We're not always competing. We are. Give me an example of

other situation where I had been overly competitive with you. When we went and

played miniature golf and I beat you. I thought I handled that very well.

Alex, you filed a formal protest with the manager.

It wasn't a formal protest. I simply asked them to examine your clubs to make

sure they were regulated.

I don't want to have to feel guilty for being chosen valedictorian over you or

being a better golfer than you. You're absolutely right.

I wouldn't say you're a better golfer than me. You had one good game.

Alex.

I'm going to work on this problem.

It's going to get better.

I promise.

Warren Kane.

You better go out. They're going to call your name soon.

No, Rach. I refuse to graduate high school until we have this matter

Alex P. Keaton.

Keaton. Alex P.

Although I really would like to graduate.

Go ahead, Alex.

You're not the dropout type.

call for Alex P.

Marvin Kennedy.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

lose you because i'm smarter than you you

know i wouldn't say you're smart

you're not gonna lose me you go out there

and you give the best valedictory speech the school has ever heard

And I think Franklin Roosevelt expressed it best when he said, this generation

of Americans has a rendezvous with destiny.

Once again, I thank the faculty for this honor.

This will be a day that I will remember always.

Thank you.

Thank you, Rachel. Thank you very much.

And now I'd like to extend a hearty congratulations to the graduating class

1984.

It's over, kids.

All right, all right.

Alex, your mother and I would like you to have this.

Good boy.

Mom, look, you promised me you wouldn't go getting emotional on me. I'm not

emotional. My little baby boy.

We're, uh, we're proud of you for holding it in.

Well, we did it, Alex. We graduated.

We did.

You're great up there, Rachel.

Maybe you can give me some pointers for my valedictory speech when I graduate.

Just graduate now.

Hey, now let's get a picture of the two graduates.

Hell of a speech, Rach.

Very inspiring.

Thanks, Alex.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.