Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years.

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed.

And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without her?

lost your touch.

Thank you. I'm so rusty. I must have plucked 20 bad notes. Oh, come on, Mom.

you didn't. I counted 23.

I only counted 19.

That's as high as you can count.

Listening to you really reminded me of the old days, Elise.

Makes me want to go out and boycott some lettuce.

Did you know my mom used to be a folk singer?

I wasn't really a folk singer, honey. Occasionally, I'd pick up a guitar or

Oh, don't be so modest, Elise. Kids, when we were in college, your mother

to perform every Thursday night. It was in a tiny, jam -packed, smoke -filled

coffee house, two floors underground.

The Age of Darkness Cafe.

Sounds like a fun place.

I remember Wednesday was Anarchist Night. People in favor of violent

of the government got a free cocktail.

Hey. Do you remember that time we came there after the rally? Oh, no, Andy,

don't get started. Don't get started. We've got to go.

You know, Elise, you really could have made a career out of singing. Why didn't

you ever follow up on it?

Not a family to raise, another career to build. Singing was never more than a

hobby. A passing interest.

You did have a pretty decent following, though, didn't you?

A decent following? Elise, everybody who heard you thought you were going to be

the next Joan Baez or Judy Collins. Oh, you sing great, Mom.

I bet you could have been the next Joan Collins.

Judy Collins, honey, and your dad is exaggerating. Oh, no, he isn't. You were

really something special, at least.

The world may have gained an architect, but lost a great singer.

Maybe you could have combined the two. You could have been the singing

architect.

I ought to watch A Great Mind at Work.

You know, Elise, I just got an idea.

Andy and I went to a new nightclub downtown called The Top Spot. They have

comedians and musicians and singers. There's no Age of Darkness Cafe, but it

fun. Maybe we could all go sometime.

Oh, sounds good. Good.

Oh, we've got to go.

Thank you. Okay.

Bye -bye.

Good seeing you.

Bye. And you, baby. Time for bed.

Good night, Mom. You were great. Thank you.

Dad, will you tuck me in, please? Oh, come on, I'll tuck you in.

I'm going to go to bed early, too.

Alex is giving me a driving lesson tomorrow.

That's right. Tomorrow we're going to work on opening the car door.

Alex, stop selling. I want to actually drive.

Look, Mallory, you know, you may be carrying packages sometime.

You ever think of that? Opening the car door is not always easy.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

It's a pleasure to be here tonight.

Oh, you're a beautiful audience.

Hi, Mel.

Hi.

Hi, Mel.

How's the driving lesson go? Great. I think I'm a natural -born driver.

Where's Alex?

How's the lesson go?

I thought I'd never see this house again.

Oh, Alex, don't be so melodramatic.

Oh, don't worry, Mallory. I don't blame you. It's not your fault.

I just assumed that when you saw a red sign marked stop, you'd take it at face

value.

I told you I didn't see the sign.

Right? How could you? You were going in reverse.

Oh, come on, Alex. It couldn't have been that bad.

It wasn't, Dad. Alex just has no patience. He was yelling at me the whole

I wasn't yelling at you.

I was yelling at a cop. to shoot her on tires.

You're not being very helpful, Alex. Your sister needs a patient, tolerant

teacher. Will you take me tomorrow, Dad? Sure, Mallory. I'll be glad to.

You might need this.

What is that?

Hi, honey. You're late. Where have you been?

Oh, I'm glad you asked that question. question.

Are you going to answer it?

You're not going to believe this, but on the way home from work today, I stopped

in at the top spot and I have an audition tomorrow afternoon.

You want to hold down the enthusiasm a bit? Oh, honey, honey, that's great.

How are you going to be a singer, Mommy?

Are you going to quit your job?

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold the phone.

Nobody's quitting any jobs around here.

People got kids to support. They got a boy to put through college.

I'm not going to quit my job. It's just I had such a good time last night

singing and reminiscing about the past that I just was thinking how nice it

would be to perform again.

In front of people?

Well, that's the basic idea, Mal.

Well, Mom, I think you're a great singer, but you're a mother.

I try to keep a low profile on that.

I just thought, why not? I mean, what have I got to lose?

Your mother is very brave to try something like this, kids. It is very

to pursue your dreams, no matter how great the odds against you may be.

Sort of like you trying to get a driver's license.

Now, Corky, don't you think you've talked enough? Why don't you try

for a change?

Well, I'm certainly not going to listen to a dummy like you.

Hey,

Corky, I hear you got a new girlfriend. Is that true?

Oh, Dennis, she's the greatest. Her skin is so soft, when I touched her, I only

got three splinters.

Okay, Dennis, you were great.

Hey, what about me? Oh, you were... You guys crack me up.

Pretty soon you're going to be able to kiss that dishwashing jug goodbye.

Well, we got to dump that. He washes and I dry.

All right.

All right, you're the opening act. We do two shows a night.

$50 a week.

Congratulations. Thank you, Uncle Luke. Thank you, Uncle Luke.

I don't know, Stephen.

What if he doesn't like me?

Of course he'll like you. He liked Dennis and Corky, didn't he?

Are you saying I'm as bad as they are? Of course not.

I never see your lips move.

Excuse me, sir.

I'm Stephen Keaton. This is my wife, Elise.

She sings.

What do you do? I manage a public broadcasting station.

Okay, Stephen, you'll follow the juggler.

It's a joke.

He's here for moral support. I'm the one with the audition.

Okay. Ah, Leith Keaton. Folks, we're ready for you.

Right up there.

Thank you.

Good luck, honey.

Thank you.

the world today we tend to forget about people who have less we're less

fortunate than we are we take things for granted we don't realize how lucky we

are excuse me miss why are you telling me these things look if i want to feel

guilty i'll call my mother

here and we'll talk, okay?

You were great, honey. Did you think so? Well, look at Lou. He is visibly moved.

So, how'd they do?

You definitely didn't think.

I mean that.

Welcome to show business.

Start Saturday.

Two shows a night, $25 a week.

Oh, what?

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. You're paying

Dennis and Corky $50 a week.

Of course. There are two of them.

Jennifer, I just had my best driving lesson ever. I'm really getting good at

this. Maybe when you get your license, you could take me to school and stuff.

Sure, I'll be driving all over town.

I explained to you, officer.

confused. Excuse me, Dad, but I didn't get the pedals confused. I got my feet

confused.

Mallory, let me handle this, please.

Dad! She violated almost every traffic ordinance known to man.

She made a few little mistakes.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

Hey, Dad?

What are you doing in the front yard? Alex, put that back, please.

Oh, Mallory's driving lesson.

Gotcha. I'll just put this with the other stuff. Alex?

Officer, please, if you come down hard on her now, you'll destroy her

confidence.

I tell you what, just this one time, I'm going to let her go.

But please, keep her off the street. She's really not a bad driver. She has a

lot of potential.

So, Dad, what time tomorrow are we going to go driving?

Mallory, you're my daughter, and I love you very much, but I'm never getting

into an automobile with you again.

Which one of these do you think I should wear tonight?

I told you, you gotta go casual.

Could you wear something with a veil?

Mallory, why are you so embarrassed about this? Your mother has always loved

sing. She misses doing it, and it's important for her to try it now.

Well, when Allison Weber's mom was going through a midlife crisis, she just went

to law school.

When Nancy Hefner's mom was feeling blue, she ran off with the college

sophomore.

Let her sing.

Going through a midlife crisis. I just want to do something that I haven't done

in years.

Midlife crisis.

Classic.

Hey, have you chosen a stage name yet?

A stage name?

Yeah, something with a little more pizzazz, something other than Keaton. I

thinking Elise L 'Amour.

Alex, she's a folk singer, not a stripper.

All right, all right, how about, uh...

Ramblin', Elyse L 'Amour.

No, thanks, Alex.

Come on, Elyse, you better get dressed, huh?

Well, honey, I'm just having trouble with this land. Oh, I love that song.

Can you sing it now?

Well, I could show you the practice.

Let me see.

This land is your land.

This land is my land.

From the redwood forest. Honey, I'm from California, right?

This land is your... California.

Start again. Start again. Pick it up a little bit.

This land is your land.

This land is my land.

From California to the New...

the century.

Sounds like beat it or murder by numbers.

Ah,

those old standards.

You know, mom, amazingly enough, Mallory may have a point.

You should at least be ready with one of those songs.

How does one go?

Just do blowing in the wind first and keep the in -ears flying and then go.

you just do it the way you rehearsed it. You'll be wonderful.

Count your blessings, knothead. There are very few ventriloquist acts around

these days.

Yeah, you're right. There are a lot of dummies out of work.

You could be next.

Hey, pal, you're moving your lips.

I'll stop if you will.

came into our Wednesday audition and really knocked us for a loop and a half.

So put your hands together.

Let's have a warm, top spot welcome for Miss Elise Keaton!

Come on! Woo!

Woo! Come on!

My name is Elise Keaton.

I'm a singer.

Actually, I'm an architect.

But I can't very well come up here and drop pictures of houses for you, can I?

Well,

I'd like to dedicate this first set to a man who changed the course of my life.

A man named Woody Guthrie.

I'm just one person.

Maybe we'll try something else.

upset. Come on.

I was so horrible.

Isn't that funny?

I thought you were just great. You sang beautifully, Elise.

Yeah, really, Mom.

The crowd just wasn't ready for you, Mom. They were too concerned.

You're very kind, but I just wasn't any good.

I was rusty. I should have rehearsed more.

I just didn't sing well.

Mrs. Keaton?

I thought you were wonderful myself.

Great vocal ability.

It's your material, honey, that's all. Mind your own business, Corky.

No, let him speak.

Well, it's the songs you're singing.

It's not what everyone today wants to hear.

They have too much meaning.

Sure, you and I can relate to them. But what about guys like Dennis here?

I gotta admit, I couldn't follow it.

But those are the songs I want to sing.

Then sing for your own pleasure. Forget the audience.

If you believe in yourself, they'll believe in you.

Corky makes an excellent point, Elise.

Thanks, Steve. Let's have lunch.

Elise.

Steven, please don't try and talk me into going back out there.

That was so horrible.

So frightening.

She'd never have done it in the first place.

It all came back with a rush.

What did?

Sitting in clubs like this.

Watching you up there.

Listening you sing.

Cheering you on. Hoping you'd sing another.

Loving your voice.

Loving you.

I love you so much, Dan Steven.

I love you even more now.

But that's separate from this.

See, I made a mistake.

I can't go home again.

I'm such a jerk.

I was out there trying to recapture something. It's over.

I'm too old for this, you know.

It had its time and so did I.

I'm such a fool.

There's another audience at 10 o 'clock.

They don't know what a fool you made of yourself. I, for one, promise not to

tell them.

Look, like Corky said, go on out there and do it for yourself.

For your own pleasure.

You can go home again, Elise.

You may not like what's happened to the neighborhood, but you can go home.

Do it, Elise.

You won't be alone.

Your best friend will be with you.

As you can see, he cannot see a thing, ladies and gentlemen.

Not a thing.

Can you see anything? Nothing. How many fingers am I holding up? Uh, two.

The amazing Corky. How does he do it?

Thank you and good night. Thank you. Dennis McCain, Corky. Let's hear it for

him.

Now, I'd like to introduce the little lady who made her debut here this

And here she is again for her second debut.

Miss Alice Keaton.

The 60s.

Anyone out there remember the 60s?

We tried to ban the bomb and beautify America.

And we sang songs, folk songs, songs of social protest.

And I'm going to sing a few of those for you tonight.

And we'll just see how it goes.

I'd like to dedicate this first set to a man who changed the course of my life.

A man named Stephen Keaton.

Come gather round, people.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.